New Life
by When We Stand Together
Summary: All-Human. Bella and her father moves to Forks where she meets someone from her past. Better summary inside.
1. New Life, New School, Difficult Past

**AN: It's been a while since I have been writing… well… anything and it feels good to be back, sort of. My head have been completely out of stories and let me just say; writers block sucks! But maybe ya'll already know that. **

**This is… first of all an All-Human story. It's just a better range with the All-human ones…. But on with it! **

**Bella and her father Charlie move to Forks. Charlie's in the navy and he's works in an office in Seattle but wanted to live in a small town. **

**I think that's all without any spoilers. But don't worry. The Cullen's and co will make appearances! **

**Now…. To the story! **

**P.S. excuse my spelling and grammar. My beta has been given a time-out because of heavy workload and hopefully it's still good. **

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_New Life, New School, Difficult Past_

High school

It's the place I'm so tired of that I just want to scream. Not because of the homework and whatnot we get from the teachers. It's the fact that this is the third school in this year that I go to and it's not even September, for Christ sake!

But this is the life of Bella Swan, daughter of an Admiral, 19 years into his servings. That just sounds like a daytime soap waiting to happen and ultimately fail. The fact that my father promised me that the move was over until I graduated meant nothing to me. He made the promise the last place we lived and look how well that turned out. I had gotten the "promise" so many times I have lost count. No wonder my mother left him. Who could one possibly stand being shoved around the country only for his pleasure and not even caring what it does to his one and only daughter.

It's just me and Charlie now. My mother left the both of us when I was just a baby and I have no memories of her. On the one hand I can't blame her but on the other, I hater her. I hater her because she made me stay with this man I am forced to call father but in reality he's a stranger to me. I don't know him and he certainly doesn't know me.

But back to the topic in hand. I was sitting in my car, staring at the building known as Forks High. With that, the knowledge that I would be forced to go to this school for any amount of time, even though small, obviously, put an even bigger damper on my mood and I left the warm confidence of my car for the rainy and impossibly wet humidity that waited outside the door. I mean come on! It's august people! It is not supposed to rain now! Gah! Ridiculous! I grumbled and slung my back overt my left shoulder and shut the door with too much force, I knew, but I didn't really care.

I was already getting looks as I walked towards the front door of the building. They weren't many, however, until I got inside. Now I had sudden respect for the animals at the Zoo, always having people watch their every move and not being able to do anything about it. It was going to be a long time before they would stop staring. In such a small town like this one, not much must happen. The new kid coming to school must be the gossip of the month. With little help, I managed to find the school office and was greeted with warmth from a space heater that was shoved into the corner.

"May I help you dear?" I looked over at the desk to the far right and was greeted with a smile from an elderly lady that somewhat reminded me of a grandmother, not mine of course, since I never met her.

"Um… I'm Bella Swan. I was supposed-"

"Oh yes." She said, enunciating every syllable, and her eyes lit up at the mere mention of my name. No doubt, people have been waiting for my, or rather, my fathers arrival. "I have your schedule right here and a map over the school. It's easy to get lost." She handed me two sets of paper. As I was leaving she yelled out. "Oh wait!" I turned and she was waving a small piece of paper and I grabbed it. "It's your locker number and combination code." I took the paper and left the small and slightly depressing office room.

Finding my locker proved to be easier said than done. There were probably more than a thousand of them! How anyone could find their own was beyond me. With the knowledge that I would have severe difficulty finding my locker again, on my own, I grudgingly left for my first class, Math. I groaned out loud; this would be murder.

As I entered the classroom my eyes swept over the place. It looked like all the others did; plain, boring and with wooden desks where you sit two-by-two. The room was filling and as I walked to the back to take a seat, away from all the eyes, all others shifted in theirs to get a better look at the new girl. I sat down slowly and as my eyes met theirs, they looked way.

"Discrete." I mumbled and looked down at the slight graffiti desktop. After a few minutes, the teacher entered the room and as he saw me, he motioned for me to come forward. Oh god! He would make me introduce myself, would he? I walked down the lane that seemed to stretch for miles, especially with everyone's eyes practically glued to my body. I finally reached the desk and the teacher smiled at me, a friendly smile you would assume but I knew better. He really would make me introduce myself to the class. I willed myself to not roll my eyes and huff in annoyance.

"You must be Isabella, right? I'm Mr. Banner, the teacher." Yeah well duh! Like I didn't know he was the teacher. I smiled a small smile and silently hoped he would just ask me to sit down again.

"Bella." I corrected. I hated it when people called me by my real and longer name. Bella was fine, much better actually.

"Well, Bella, do you want to introduce yourself to the class?" It was obviously a rhetorical question but I shook my head and silently whispered "no, no, no, no…" over and over but of course, he didn't get it.

"Class." He announced to the room and I groaned inwardly and slowly turned around. A thing you wouldn't know about me is that I'm shy, very, I might add. But after shifting schools so often you'd think I would be used to it by now, but no. No such luck here. "This is Isabella Swan." I winced ever so slightly to the use of my full name. "Isabella, is there something you would like to tell us about yourself?" I kept in the snort that was prepared to leave my lips. Hadn't I already told him I didn't want to do this?

"Not really." I said quietly and some of the kids snickered and a few giggles escaped and I just grimaced.

"Very well. Here's your book. You may take your seat now." With that I walked down the isle and took my place. I already knew I would hate this subject, cus' lets face it, no one really like's math. I mean, it is math after all and despite the teachers promise that this is education we will have great use for our entire life; listen up people! We are NEVER going to use any of this!

I pulled my face down as Mr. Banner began the class. This school is tough. Starting right away with equations and whatnot that just seems like mindless dribble.

"Hey." I heard someone whisper in a hushed voice. I looked forward and the girl in front of me turned around and apparently she was speaking to me.

"Yeah?"

"You really shouldn't feel bad. Mr. Banner does that to every new kid in his class. He's probably the only one that does that now." She smiled slightly and I smiled back.

"Thanks. I just really don't like when people stare." It sounded pathetic even to me, but it was the truth.

"I'm Angela, by the way." I smiled back at her and resumed my work. Maybe not all the students were completely hopeless. And Angela seemed nice enough.

The rest of the class went by in a slow pace. But when did math ever go by in a normal or even fast pace? I knew it was hopeless trying to find my locker within the 10 minutes break we had between classes so I gave up on that and went on finding the next room where I would have… history.

"Fan-freaking- tastic." I grumbled and flushed when I noticed that some others had heard my grumbling. I quickly walked; half ran, to the classroom. I was a bit late and the teacher was already there. But to my great satisfaction, the lesson hadn't started. Thankfully, I didn't need to introduce myself. The teacher, whom I would now know as Mr. Berger just gave me a book and told me to take my seat. He seemed like being in a grumpy mood and I was all for that.

Like before, everyone that stared at me shifted their gaze when I looked up. There was only seats left in the middle of the room; either in the middle row or by the window. The window seemed more promising and there was a weird and kind of creepy guy sitting by himself in the middle row. He was looking at me with the weirdest expression.

The remaining of the lesson was spent like a Zoo animal again. I don't know how they managed to stared at the back of the room without causing the teacher to tell them to shift their gaze was beyond me. And so the lesson came to an end. Everyone was out of their seat and practically ran out. I took my time and just as I had dropped my book in my bag, a voice brought me out of my haze.

"Isabella Swan?" The voice was slightly faint and a little stuttering but I took no notice of that and looked up. I met light eyes and I noticed it was the same creepy gut that had been looking at me before.

"Yes?" I asked, a little hesitantly and quickly added; "And please call me Bella." His eyes lit up even more at my last comment, like I was already his friend and only the closes to me called me Bella. A little pathetic but I just really hated being called Isabella.

"I'm Mike. Newton. Mike Newton." I stared at him and waited for him to continue. He stood there for a moment and it looked like he was collecting his thoughts and then he shook his head.

"I was just wondering… if… maybe… you'd, you know…" no unfortunately I didn't know. Was it that hard to say? "I mean, you're new and all, if you wanted to sit with me… and my friends at lunch?" Oh. I was slightly turned off by how he said 'you're new and all' but I didn't want to tell him that and be known as the bitch of the school and I didn't have anyone to sit with so…

"Sure." I said and I swear; he looked happier than a kid at Christmas or Disneyland. What's with the people? Am I that interesting? I had a hard time believing that.

The walk to the cafeteria was spent in quiet and Mike continued the entire time fidgeting with the sleeves in his shirt. Through his nerves I was getting nervous and as we walked into the cafeteria, I was sure every eye was going to be fixed on me… but they weren't. Obviously, not everyone had been let go from their classes and the room was only half-filled. I breathed out in relieve and both Mike and I went to stand in the line.

I was even more relieved when we sat down, that Angela was apart of the little group of Mike's friends. She smiled at me and I smiled back. It seemed like I wouldn't be completely without friends here.

"How are you holding up?" Angela asked and I laughed a little.

"Well… Math is always a bitch and History… well… it just speaks for itself."

"Yeah. Math totally sucks. I mean; we're never gonna use any of it later!" I turned towards the voice and on my right side a small girl with black curly hair sat. I hadn't seen her before and she introduced herself as Jessica. She was a talker which was kinda nice since I wasn't and she provided most of the conversation.

The cafeteria seemed to fill out more and out of habit I glanced around and I think my heart stopped when I looked at the line for the food. I stared and couldn't seem to take my eyes away. Jessica must have noticed my disinterest in the story and followed my gaze. She giggled. I turned towards her in a way that seemed like slow motion for me and I looked down at my food. I hadn't any appetite left.

"Bella?" I vaguely registered Angela's concern and forced myself to look up at her.

"Yeah." This was doomed. My voice cracked and Jessica giggles a bit more. Before Angela could ask me what was wrong, which she was, Jessica broke in and I had small notice of how annoying her voice was in that moment.

"She's fine. She's just captivated by the nature that is Edward Cullen." And I swear I visibly cringe at the sound of his name. It was the name that I had not spoken since the move, the move that was away from him.

Angela must have sensed my discomfort because she quickly changed the topic and I had time to collect my thoughts. As discretely as I could, I looked over the cafeteria and for a moment I thought I just had an hallucination and maybe I had just imagined it but as always; faith is laughing at me.

In a corner, near the windows, far away from where I was sitting, there he was, in his pride and glory. It physically hurt how he still looked just as gorgeous as he did before. I brought my hair over my face as best as I could so he wouldn't see me. Around his table I also noticed the others. His siblings; Emmet and Alice. I suppressed the memories that were threatening to flood through my mind at the moment. But I did notice two other figures which I did not know. It was a boy and a girl, having uncanny resemblance they must be twins. At that moment, as I was watching, it was like he knew, for he looked up and our eyes me. His lips parted and he was obviously surprised to se me there. I tried to look away and I saw Alice grab his attention and start to look where he was. I quickly looked down and remained like that for the rest of lunch.

I didn't want to leave before they did but again; faith hates me. My new "friends" said it was time to go and I did the best that I could to hide my face in a ruthless attempt to conceal myself. I was aware that I had gym the next period and then school was over. It took me 5 seconds to know I wasn't going to gym. I admit that I'm not the best liar but I think I can fake sickness well enough to get out of it this time. I left my new friends and went to the depressing office again.

"Um… excuse me?" I asked the elderly woman at the desk. She looked up an smiled at me.

"Yeas dear? Is there something I can help you with?" I swallowed and made my tone soft and weak.

"Yeah. I don't feel so great and I only have gym left. Do you think I could skip it, go home and rest?" I was a bit proud of myself for my lying skills. They certainly have improved a lot.

"Are you alright dear? Do you need to go to the nurse?" she must have believed me for her face was filled with nothing but concern.

"No. I just need some rest. The move was long and I guess I haven't really recovered from it yet." With that I was free to leave.

I walked slowly to my car. The weather had become softer and it was not raining anymore. I willed myself not to think about him. It was tough. Before the move, it was always about him. He was practically my entire world, how cheesy and clingy that may sound.

Once by my car, I felt like hyperventilating or fainting…. Or hyperventilate and then faint. My mind was spinning and I felt like I was officially loosing it. I can't let him have this effect on me. I leaned my head against the cold exterior of the roof and put my arms to shield the light. I stood there for a long tie, it seemed but in reality, it was probably only a few minutes. No one else was around, or so I thought.

"Bella?"

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**AN: So? Good? Bad? Horrendous? I want reviews!!! It will determine if I should keep on writing! **

**It's a cliffhanger but the chapter was getting long… **

**I should also say that not all chapters will be this long, for me this is the longest yet and it was just a freak of nature that it happened like this. **

**I am open for suggestions of there are any. **


	2. First Meeting

**AN: ****I haven't been able to update in a while because I haven't been able to login. Have no idea why it haven't worked in... well... days now. **

**So I'm writing a second chapter (duh!) not really sure if anyone is actually reading but I really wanted to write this so I'll do just that. **

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_Previously... _

_I walked slowly to my car. The weather had become softer and it was not raining anymore. I willed myself not to think about him. It was tough. Before the move, it was always about him. He was practically my entire world, how cheesy and clingy that may sound._

_Once by my car, I felt like hyperventilating or fainting…. Or hyperventilate and then faint. My mind was spinning and I felt like I was officially loosing it. I can't let him have this effect on me. I leaned my head against the cold exterior of the roof and put my arms to shield the light. _

_I stood there for a long ti__me, it seemed, but in reality, it was probably only a few minutes. No one else was around, or so I thought._

"_Bella?"_

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_First meeting _

"Bella?"

I tensed as soon as I heard the voice. It was as velvet and smooth as it always had been. I hated the way that I responded to him but there was nothing I could do about that. Just like there was nothing I could do now but to face him. I couldn't leave without even looking at him, could I? I sighed in frustration and defeat and slowly lifted my head and even slower, turned around.

There he was, in all the gorgeousness. The one that he always had been in. I hated that too. I hated that he still looked just as good, like before. We stood there, staring at each other for what seemed like forever but couldn't have been because I hadn't even heard gym start yet, when I broke the gaze. I looked at everything and nothing. I didn't know what to say but I sure as hell wasn't about to _start_ speaking. After all; he was the one that just came up to me.

"Look…" he started and his voice penetrated me like nothing else and I cut him off before he could say anything else that would make me react in a way that I was very, very sure was not appropriate right now.

"Is there something you wanted?" I hadn't meant for my voice to sound so accusing and rude but now was not the time to think about that. Edward just looked at me and seemed like he was collecting his thoughts.

"You just moved here?" I couldn't really find my voice at the moment, so I nodded.

"Your dad got an office job?" I nodded again. "In Port Angeles?" I shook my head this time. "Seattle?" This time I nodded. "Okay." He said quietly and I looked at him. He really did have the saddest look on his face and I almost, almost did what I just promised I wouldn't do. I was about to speak but I heard in the distance a whistle go off, signalling that the lesson was starting. We both looked over there and I heard Edward sigh.

"I better go. Coach hates it when we're late." Late? Wait… he has gym? He has gym. _He has gym_! Oh God! He has gym _now_! Does he think I skipped out on that because of him? Does he even know I have gym now, supposedly?

"You have gym now?" I asked quietly and this time, it was he who nodded. I nodded along and opened my car door and was about to step in when I heard him talk over his shoulder.

"It really was nice seeing you." With that, he was gone and I was left behind, standing like an idiot; staring after him. It was a good think he was already out of ear shot, because, what would or even could I say? 'Yeah, nice seeing you too?' I can't really say I'm glad to see him. But I couldn't say that either. This was really confusing.

Driving away, I sneaked a glance at the gym area and I could immediately identify Edward. It wasn't difficult, he just had that presence.

I drove home much slower than I intended. It wasn't so unusual for me to drive slowly. I wasn't much for disobeying the law of the road but I had been know to speed up a few times but this time, my head was filled with Edward so much that I couldn't concentrate. There was even one time where I had to stop the car to catch my breath. All I could think was; this is really happening. _He's_ here. He's _here_!

Many questions seeped through my head but one was really bugging me. What the hell was he doing here?! Here, in Forks! Why oh why would he move here of all places? Why would my father for that matter. Is the universe trying to mock me? Does it think it's funny to bring me to the one place where I didn't want to be and I'm not talking about the location. I shook my head to clear it. I wasn't making much sense even to myself and it would be best not to get stuck on this here, at the side of the freeway, where a lot of cars were running by at a dangerously high speed.

As I pulled up to our new and, I did have to admit, beautiful house, three storage with a basement included, patio on the back and a balcony outside my room, I was greeted by an unfamiliar sight, well, at this time of day; my fathers car. He wasn't supposed to be home now.

For one nanosecond I wondered if he would notice that I was home early but he never cared before, so why should he now? I parked and sighed as I slowly made my way through the damp and slightly foggy nature of our front yard and up to the front door. I felt on the knob it was in fact unlocked. So he really was home? Now? At 2 in the afternoon? That was out of character.

"Char- Dad!" I called out. He hated it when I called him Charlie. Probably because he wanted to keep up the "happy father-daughter" charade. I, however, got no answer and I made my way through the hallway to the kitchen where I disposed my bag on the table. I called out dad one more time and still no response.

As I opened the fridge to find it completely empty, except for some stale and very cold pizza, courtesy of the admiral, which he bought yesterday, after out rough moving, since he can't cook, at all. That really is a sad point but not unsurprising. Just as I was about to retrieve said pizza, I felt a hand on my shoulder and shrieked and turned around, simultaneously closing the fridge. I met the figure that was known as my father.

Charlie wasn't that unusual in appearance. He had brown hair, like me, but his was darker. I had some red in mine, courtesy of my mother, the abandoner, but enough about her. He was taller than me, but who wasn't? Me, standing at 163, he was 185, at least. He wasn't in any way fat, but he wasn't in top shape either, a little bulginess around the stomach but that was about it.

After catching my breath and managing to slow down my heart, I straightened up.

"I'm sorry." My father began. "Didn't mean to scare you there kiddo." I almost groaned. I hated it when he would call me that. He treated my like I was 5. Well I got newsflash for him; I was definitely not! 5, anymore, and didn't want to be treated like it either but I kept quiet.

"It's fine Ch- Dad." There… I almost made the mistake again, it was difficult. Living with a person that you didn't really know and simultaneously knowing that he is your father isn't so easy.

"Why are you home so early?" I asked as I got myself a glass of water instead.

"Oh I though I'd… get some of these boxes away. They take up so much place." He grumbled the response and then trailed of as he left the room. That was the only response that I got. I sighed and went up to my room.

As I entered I was still marvelled by the perfectness of it. It wasn't that big and showy but for me; it was perfect. It had and overview of the back lawn, with the balcony, as expressed before. The walls were a dark blue but not too dark, it still had a light tough towards it.

The right wall, behind the door, was covered in wardrobe doors that were a painted white. The windows and balcony doors were all in the same white as the other doors but had an old feeling to it, like they belonged in the 50s and not in the 21st century, but again, I liked it.

There were boxes thrown around the room in a very messy way and my bed was not made. I was too tired last night and only slept with a pillow and an old blanket. Knowing that both my father and I, I couldn't deny it, wanted the boxed gone; I went to work.

It was a tedious task, unpacking. I haven't really given it much of a though before but now I had to in order to keep my mind on the current task. It wasn't easy to not think of _him_. He entered my mind on more than one occasion and every time I had to stop with what I was doing and take a deep breath. I really needed to stop this. It wasn't healthy, acting like this over a guy. And not just a guy but _the_ guy. The thought of him as _that_ guy made me almost break down in tears.

"Bella?" I was brought back to reality when the sound of my father behind me made me jump about 10 feet into the air. I let a yelp escape and turned around, putting my hand over my heart.

"You're awfully jumpy today." He spoke but it wasn't a question, like why I would be like this. This was one of the good things about Charlie; he didn't pride too much.

"Yeah. I guess I am." I turned back to unpacking one of the last boxes and noted briefly that my father asked me if I wanted pizza again.

"Sure." I said. I would rather have cooked, anything, but since the fridge was still empty, it had to be pizza. I also noted that he didn't leave from his place at the doorway. What now? He gonna start father-daughter talk now and ask how my day was, like he actually cared?

"It really is a beautiful house isn't it?" He asked and walked over to the balcony doors and looked over the huge lawn, not that you could see much of it through the fog.

"Sure." I said cautiously. He never usually talks with me like this. Its small questions here and there and then we're by ourselves. Was he feeling okay? Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew it was supposed to be like this; we actually getting along but it hadn't happened in a very long time and we would probably never be close… well; like we're supposed to anyway.

"This move was good for us. We don't need the city to manage; besides, you get tired of that after so many years." I wanted to huff in annoyance. I liked the city! Maybe not that they drove cars everywhere and at every time of the day but it was the way it always has been! And now were living in a house? I can't remember ever doing that. And when does he know what's good for me?

I didn't know what to say so I just went back to the unpacking of my last book boxes and then t was done. The only think left was curtains and making my bed. I noticed on the clock on my bedside table that it was 7 pm. Wow. Time really does fly sometimes. My father had left the room a little while ago, saying nothing more to me.

In the distance; I heard the doorbell ring and it must bee the pizza coming. Right I was; there was Charlie at the door, looking thorough his pockets. Must have forgotten the money.

"Wait just a second, I'll be right back.2 with that, he left for the kitchen and I stood awkwardly at the foot of the staircase. Only then did I notice who it was delivering. It was Mike, the little creeper. I though that maybe I would manage to sneak away but no! He saw me and his face lit up. Okay! How could just one person do this to someone else!

"Hi Bella." He said a bit shakily. I just smiled back at him and I could see a faint blush on his cheeks, barely noticeable. Oh just come one. Before Mike could start asking me a bunch of random questions, I heard my father returning with the cash, I almost sighed in relief.

"Thanks," Mike said to my father and looked at me now, "Bye Bella." It really was creepy the way he said it. He sounded a bit like the detective in Scary Movie, dorky and stutters a lot. The door closed. My father and I made our way through the light hallway, now filled with pictures of nothing in particular.

"You knew that boy?" He asked.

"He's just goes to my school." I replied and we were back into our old routine. Simple questions here and there and then it was bedtime.

I had trouble sleeping. The wind, combined with the rain made a wonderful sound; like hail on a tin roof. I huffed in annoyance more than once and brought out my mp3 player. That helped and I went of into sleep, but it was not dreamless and I tossed and turned, or so I though, by the sight of my cover at the foot of the bed and me; sprawled across the entire thing, in the morning.

This would be a long day.


	3. Patience

_Patience _

I woke up from my own tossing and turning. The night had not gone by peacefully. Firstly; the rain and wind had been ruthless. It was like it was trying to piss me off or something. Secondly; I could never get comfortable because of the first reason and my bed just got too warm, the element was on high heath. Whoever did that, weather it was my father, me or the people looking at the house before us; I hated them, him or her.

Thirdly; my sleep was constantly interrupted by Edward. It was his face and voice and some of the moments we have shared in the past. It wasn't a bad dream per se but just the thought of those things that we used to do, simple things, like just laying on a blanked in the woods on a sunny day. That was one of the best memories I have. We spent the entire day together.

I made myself think of something else. Thinking of him only made me sad and I didn't want that at 7 in the morning. Walking to my closet, I surveyed what was inside. I wasn't that much into fashion but my wardrobe was still pretty stocked. Mostly with jeans, t-shirts, tank tops and converses.

My trip to the bathroom took longer than usual. I was still pretty groggy from my lack of sleep and washed my face in cold water, instead of the warm that I usually used. As I had dried my face I observed myself in the mirror.

I had small bag under my eyes, due to the deprivation of sleep I had been getting. My hair was a bit of a mess, standing at the ends. My skin also looked paler than it used to. Having always lived with very fair skin I was used to it but this morning it looked a bit unhealthy. '_Great'_, I thought. Just what I needed; to look like a living dead.

I wasn't that into make-up but seeing myself this morning I decided that it was needed. I put on some mascara and eyeliner. This usually made me look more awake and the bags were not really noticeable anymore. My complexion I couldn't really do anything about. Having never needed it before, I didn't own any foundation. None of which I could actually use without having my face a different colour than my neck.

I was pulling on a pair of black jeans, red tank top with white flowers, black converse and a black and grey striped hoodie that zipped in the front. I knew I was going overboard with the black thing but it was nice colour, I liked it, sew me! I looked over my appearance again. I don't know why I did that, I usually didn't care that much. Then, all of the sudden it hit me, it was because of _him_. That asshole! So he was already controlling me?! Without even knowing it! Gah!

I stomped downstairs to find that Charlie had already left for his new work. I grabbed a pop tart and shoved I into the toaster with a bit too much force.

"Great," I mumbled and took the corner that had been severed and ate it while the rest was warming in the toaster. Just eating the pop tart was tedious. I sighed, a lot; during the 3 minutes it took me to consume the blueberry and sugary deliciousness.

The entire way to school was spent in silence. The radio was off and my mp3 player was still in my bad. The only thing I heard was the sound of my heart, beating faster and faster the closer the school got.

"This is ridiculous," I mumbled to myself. That ha become a habit of mine, small talking to myself. I got better response that way then when I talked to Charlie.

I was pulling up to the parking lot. Loads of cars were driving up and it was complete chaos. How did everyone get out of here alive? It's beyond me! I found a spot, in the far back of the entire lot. I rolled my eyes as I slowly made my way up to the front door of the "institute".

The staring was less today which was good but people still looked. They, however, were a bit more discrete now. I had about 15 minutes before my first class was staring and I decided that it was time to find my locker. It took about 5 minutes before I could locate it, which was a huge difference since yesterday when it took about 15.

My first lesson for this day was; science. Are they freaking kidding me?! Gah! This really is hell on earth! It's always raining, there's nature everywhere (although that would have been good if not for the constant rain), it's a small town where everyone knows everyone and is always gossiping and in everyone's business, we have the most ridiculously boring and completely useless classes and to top it all of; _he_ was here! Have I killed someone in a past life to deserve this!? Okay. Maybe that was a bit selfish thinking but I really don't care at this point!

I grudgingly made my way to the science room and sat down in the back, feeling more agitated than I ha in along time. I sat by myself and the teacher didn't make me introduce myself. If could have been the death glare that gave him when I vas given a book, or maybe he just wasn't up for torturing me with unnecessary introduction that was to no point useful.

I didn't really remember anyone in the room. None of them, I was sure, didn't sit with us yesterday at lunch. Ah, lunch! Just the thought of that made my stomach tighten and I clutched my arms around to keep it quiet. I could feel gurgles but none made any noise. Maybe the universe pitied me today.

But no… I was fooled. As the lesson had ended, my mind was, by the way, completely useless now for some time. I had just gathered my books and pen in my bag when my foot gets caught on the chair and I drop the book, along with its content. I sigh frustrated and sat down on my knees to pick up everything.

"Let me help you with that," said a voice to my right. I only had time to get a glimpse of the figure before the crouched down and helped me gather my books. I couldn't speak. It was Alice Cullen. True, when we did live in the same town, those months ago, we weren't really friends, just met each other a few times. But it was enough that she was his sister for me to loose my voice. Someone who sees him every day of the week.

My books were securely in my bag now. I zipped it also, just to be safe. You never know with me. I wasn't the most graceful of people, you could say.

"Thanks."

"No problem." She said and just as I was about to leave, she spoke again, halting me in my steps. "You're Bella Swan, right?" I turned around and for a second I though that she knew everything. But she couldn't have, could she?

"Yeah."

"Enjoying Forks so far?" I could tell this wasn't what she had originally meant to say but I was glad for the change of topic. If there even was a topic before.

I let out a humourless laugh and she seemed to catch on. "I know," she started and looked out the window and look! It was raining! How wonderful. I frowned deeply at the sight. "The weather takes some time getting used to. We moved here 4 months ago and I'm not even close to coping with it."

"Well I have to get to religion." And with that I left the room.

Religion passed in a blur. I couldn't concentrate, I was busy hating. I hated my father for his job, for always having to move, for picking this town to live in, for getting an office job in Seattle, for being the person that he is; the one that couldn't keep my mother near him and made her leave; without me!

I hated him most because he moved us to that town, the same town where _he_ lived up until 4 months ago. The town where I met Edward and… and… I couldn't even think it. But I knew it was true. Even if he didn't feel it the same way that I did. Then I hated and loved him for moving us away from there – to Chicago. And now I hate him for moving us here.

I was just going around in circles in my head and like every circle, I was getting nowhere. I put my head in my hands and rubbed them over my face. The coldness of my palms helped a bit with the headache that had formed.

My worries were temporarily forgotten as I herd the bell ring, signalling that Religion was over and it was time for lunch. I groaned at the thought. I didn't know if I would be sitting alone or if I could sit with the same people from yesterday.

By the time I reached my locker I made up my mind that I wasn't going to lunch. I was starving but I could drive to a shop instead, or something. Besides it was probably better that way. I didn't have to see him then.

"Bella!" I heard someone in the distance when I was shoving books in my locker. I looked around and saw Angela coming up beside me.

"Hi Angela." I said as politely as I could. It wasn't her fault I had used all my patience today.

"Are you sitting with us again for lunch?"

"Actually I was going to go the groceries tore and get a sandwich and something. I'm not really used to the cafeteria food here yet..." I trailed off.

"Didn't you have the same food at your old school?" She asked confused.

"Not really. It was a private school and we got really expensive food from a restaurant and..." I trailed off as I heard what I just said. "That made me sound so spoiled didn't it?"

"Hahaha... I little." Angela said jokingly and I snickered a bit. I never had though about the way my old schools were.

"Se you later?" I asked. She nodded and left. I slammed my locked shut with a bit too much force. It made a horrible noise and the nearest people looked at me. I sighed and left for my car.

I had to practically run from my car to the classroom. The time flew by, literally, and I was late. It was 5 min to class and I was just by the front door.

I thanked the gods when I saw that the class had yet to start. I was walking up to the desk where the teacher was leaning over, organizing a stack of papers. I hadn't had biology before and needed a book.

"Ah. Isabella I presume?" I sighed and corrected him like all the others.

"Bella."

"Okay. Well... here's your book. And we do have signed seats so you'll have to take a place next to..." the teacher observed the room and stopped on one place. "... Mr. Cullen."

----------------

**AN: So this was the third chapter (duh)… really have a lot of thinks and notes for this story so yeah…. Gonna take a little time to get the next chapter up… I'm gonna try and make them longer but I can't promise anything…  
****And also; I know its so cliché to have Bella and Edwar****d sharing Biology but that's **_**their**_** class! **


	4. Health

_Previously... _

"_Okay. Well... here's your book. And we do have signed seats so you'll have to take a place next to..." the teacher, which I noticed, but not by him, was named Mr. Cyle, observed the room and stopped on one place. "... Mr. Cullen." _

--------------------

_Health_

I swear, my heart stopped, again. That's the second time in two days, by next week I could be having a cardiac arrest.

I turn around and there, to the right, by the window, there he was; sitting and practically staring right up at me and the teacher. What the fuck?! I walk down the lane and I swear; it reached out in front of me. The seat that was free was the one nearest the window. As I walked behind his chair he moved forward to give me more room. I was about to say thanks but the teacher interrupted me.

"So class." Today we will be doing a, hopefully, simple lab," I sat down and put my bag on the back of the chair and directed my eyes ahead, making them not to look at him. "You will all get each 3 samples of water and you will test them for iron, ph and chlorine. We will be looking into water for a few weeks and…" Mr. Cyle droned on about how the water and pollution and so on and so on but I couldn't make myself listen. I was less than a feet away from him. _HIM!_ Now I just know it was a cruel trick from the universe! I don't care how selfish I sound. Of all the places the teacher could have seated me, this is where he picked!

"Now, get started!" Mr. Cyle with much enthusiasm and began his trip around the room to give us all samples and material to evaluate how the water was. I was doing my best not to look but it was increasingly difficult and since we were lab partners we would have to talk eventually.

I reached over for my bag, to retrieve my phone so I could time the different labs but apparently my phone didn't want to be found and I practically shoved my face in my bag in search for it.

"What are you doing?" I heard Edward ask in a clearly amused voice. It got mi annoyed.

I pull back to look at him and answered.

"I'm looking for my phone. We're supposed to time the labs." I said little a little rudely and like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Crap." I muttered when I couldn't find it. I must have left it at home. I heard a snicker and turned and Edward had his hand outstretched with his phone in it.

"Here. You can time it." I reached for the phone and out hand met for a brief moment and the same electricity that had been was still there, but I pretended not to notice. I flipped it open and pulled forward the timer.

The lab went by relatively easily and quietly. Not that I actually wanted to talk to him, I found myself disappointed that we hardly talked. He tested the water and I timed them. During those 4 minutes that it took to determine the chlorine or whatever were filled with awkwardness.

I was definitely over thinking it. Should I talk? Does he want me to talk to him? Do _I_ want to talk to him? Why isn't he talking?! GAH! I was giving myself a headache! I sighed and leaned forward, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Bella, you're okay?" I looked to the right and saw nothing but concern on Edward's face. I opened my mouth to reply, only to close it again as I didn't know what to say. I wasn't okay but I wasn't not okay. Okay! It's official! I was getting insane and making no sense!

"I- I-"I started stumbling over my words and after some embarrassing mumbling I managed to get out; "I'm fine. It's just a headache." I looked down at my notebook and started doodling and I noticed my cheeks flaming with heat. I kept my eyes down and stared intently at the notebook. I could hear the rest of the class still in the midst of their assignment and that only made the thing worse.

I noted that his phone was still on my side of the desk to my left, where he could not reach it. Suddenly, I was glad for the chance to talk to him, if not, look at him. I grasped the phone and looked to my right.

He was sitting on the edge of his chair, leaning forward on his elbows. It looked like he was in deep concentration. It took about 2 seconds before he noticed me staring and I shook my head inwardly and reached forwards the phone.

"Here," I said quietly. He looked confused and saw the phone in my hand and reached for it. Again, the skin of out hands touched and the electricity hummed and my hand heated up. I leaned forward and rested my head on my folded arms, waiting for the class to end.

"Why?" I heard him ask. Huh?

"What?" I asked completely confused.

"You said you had a headache I was just wondering why," he responded quietly. It took me a moment to get that he had asked me a question and I stuttered forward a lie.

"How should i know?" The lie, if it even was one was good, I was imprerssed by my innocent and slightly annoyed tone.

"Usually it's something that's bothering you," he continued quietly. I shifted and sat up so that my elbows were resting on the cool surface of the bench.

"Why do you care?" I blurted out before thinking it through. I realised the question was rude and on another occasion I probably would have cared but this time I was right. Why should he care? He didn't have the right to care. Not anymore he didn't. Edward seemed a bit surprised by my rudeness. I never was quite rude, not if I couldn't help it that is. However, he didn't answer although he opened his mouth but closed it rather quickly.

I breathed out a sigh of relief when the class ended. I pushed the chair in, slung the bag over my left shoulder and left before either I or Edward could say another word towards each other.

I threw my books into my locker and then sped out of the school and down the long lane of parked cars, down to where my own was standing, just where I had left it. As I approached the side of the car, I failed to notice the water puddle and of course made my very graceful landing, down on my knees. I usually didn't swear that vulgarly but when times calls for it…

"Fuck," I said under my breath and noticed a throbbing in my left knee. "Fucking fantastic." I said and took my right hand to the side of my car in an attempt to bring myself up but my left leg would not cooperate although the right wasn't that much better.

"Bella?" _Oh god no!_ a strong pair of arms wrapped themselves around my waist and hauled me up and I leaned against my car, all my weight was relying on my right leg which were threatening to buckle at any second. But before that could happen, Edward took a hold of my shoulder and waist and made sure I was steady. My body reacted like it always did when in direct contact with him, the live version of Adonis. My heart was fluttering out of control, my palms were burning and my breathing became slightly elaborated.

"You think you can stand on your own?" If I wasn't in quite a lot of pain, I would have made a snotty comment back, I wasn't that breakable, but as it was reality; my knee actually was killing me and as I slowly put it down I winced and hissed in pain and brought it up to cradle it in my hands.

"You can't drive home like this." Huh?

"Yes I can," but my response came out breathlessly and in a pant. He heard him chuckling and looked up with an annoyed expression and his became one of seriousness.

"No you can't Bella. I'll drive you home." What?! No he couldn't do that! Alone in the car with him was the last thing I needed right now.

"No…" I tried to protest but he was resistant. Before I knew it, he was walking away to leave his car keys to his siblings and I was seated in the passengers seat. How did this happen? I mused and the door opening brought me out of my trance. He sat down, put the keys in the ignition but made no move to drive out of here. I was getting confused.

"You know you have to turn the keys in order for it to start, right?" I said, only semi joking. He turned and laughed at that.

"Yeah I'm quite aware of that. I was just wondering if you have to go to the hospital. It was a hard fall down." His face was filled with nothing but concern and it threw me off for a second.

"No. No hospital!" I practically shouted. He knew I hated hospitals. Like I've said before I wasn't the most graceful of people but I still wasn't the most accidental prone either. Edward looked at me with disbelief evident.

"It's not _that_ bad. It's just painful because of how I hit it." I could se he was about to reject the idea of into looking it up so I stepped in. "If the pain I'm having now isn't over until tonight, I'll let you drag me to the hospital." That seemed to please him and started the car and drove out of the school lot.

The drive was quiet but it wasn't really awkward. I had forgotten what a good driver he is and how _fast_ he really was driving. It didn't bother me. It never had. It was sort of relaxing. But I knew that he usually drove fast when not so many cars were out. That on the other had was exhilarating rather than relaxing. As I was deep in though on our past driving together; a melody began to play that sounded distinctively like Beethoven's 5th symphony. It was the signal I had for when my father was calling, it was quite appropriate. I began to rummage through my bad looking for my phone, while Edward asked for directions. It was all frustrating.

"Take the next left, on to the small road." He did as said and I finally found the phone. There had gotten a small tear in the lining on the inside. I pulled it out, flipped it open and pressed the little green button.

"Hi Char-dad," I could se Edward slowing down and pulling over, not knowing where to drive now and not wanting to bother me, I think. "What's up?" I asked into the receiver.

"Hi Bella. I'm just letting you know that I won't be home until late. Meetings and such."

"Okay." I said. It didn't bother me. In fact; it was relaxing being home alone with no one there but yourself and your thoughts. "Bye." With that I hung up and briefly wondered by the even called me on my cell. He usually called at home and left a message. I must have been staring at the phone a long time for Edward to have waved his hand in front of my face. I looked up startled and kind of forgot I was in my car, with Edward, alone.

"Drive up this road," I instructed and he didn't question it, but merely drove up but n a much slower pace. "Take the next right." The road was becoming dirted now, not yet pawed, and ahead of us, the house broke out. It looked so much bigger from the outside. Edward drove up and parked it, none of us made any attempt in moving.

"Nice house." He commented after a while. I nodded and responded.

"Yeah it is." I plopped my phone back in the bag, not caring where it went and opened the door quickly. Before I could even register it, Edward had me swung up in his arms.

"Edward!" I practically shouted, right into his ear. I saw him cringe and I blushed. "What are you doing?" I said but my voice was much lower now but equally as rushed.

"You shouldn't put pressure on the leg." He made sense as usual and I sighed. He must have taken that as a sigh of defeat and shut the car door with his foot.

"Hey!" I said, looking back at my car. "Don' take it out on my car." He chuckled and walked up the porch and lightly sat my down on the railing. He reached his hand out and I looked at him with arched eyebrows.

"I need your keys. It's hard to open the door otherwise." He responded with innocence that I knew all too well but it was becoming easier being comfortable around him again.

"Oh." Was all I said and dug in my bag for the keys. It took some time for Edward had time to diss my car whilst in my search.

"And you shouldn't really think that much about it anyway," he said but I heard a lot of teasing in his voice. I looked up, momentarily forgetting the search.

"Excuse me?" My tone was offended.

"It's a hybrid-" I didn't let him talk anymore for I knew exactly what he thoughts of cars like that.

"Just shove it. It's as good a car as any other, including your precious Volvo." I knew teasing him about his car was never a good thing but he started it. I resumed my search and came up with the keys. Edward snatched them from my hand and opened the front door. As I made to stand, he was right there, holding me by my waist now instead. I leaned against the wall and tried in vain to get op my shoes. I both sighed and groaned in frustration.

"Let me help you." Edward bent down in front of me and took my right foot and put it on his thigh, loosening the strings and doing the same with the other one.

"Thanks." I said and removed my jacked.

"Give me your phone," He said all of the sudden and I looked at him in disbelief but he just stood there with his hand reached out. I sighed and reached down into my bag and found the phone in question much faster this time and gave it to him wordlessly. He punched in a few numbers and then gave it back to me. After that he looked like he was going to say something but kept quiet.

"How are you going to get home?" I asked all of the sudden.

"Walk. It's not that far." I sighed again.

"You can't walk home-" I tried to protest but it was useless. He was really stubborn.

"It's no that far Bella. Honestly." I let it go and that's when he went to leave.

"You should put some ice on that,2 he inclined towards my knee and i nodded. "And I'll hold you to it."

"What?"

"To call and say you're fine later tonight." With that he left and closed the door. I opened my phones and scrolled through and true enough there his number was.

* * *

**AN: Review, don't review.... I'm not sure I really care****, that much. Maybe no ones even reading which is fine but I'm gonna keep on writing. **


	5. Hunger

Hunger

I was left alone and stood in the hallway still, weighing my options. I could stay in my room with the computer and just sit. Wow! That didn't wound pathetic at all. Locking myself in my room, all alone with a computer and a TV.

I could position myself in the living room and just sit there. Okay! So I was sitting somewhere. But where? As I was deep in my own pathetic and quite frankly, disturbing thoughts on where I should sit so I would have to move with my leg so much, my stomach growled. I sighed and made my way to the kitchen. The lane down wasn't long and once I reached my destination I planted myself on the counter next to the fridge and opened the door.

The sight that I was greeted with was not the one that I wished to see. The cold and possibly very stale pizza was still there, like I had left it this very morning but that was it. The pizza was till the only thing left in fridge and my stomach growled again in protest to the sight.

"Ung!" I groaned and pushed the door closed with too much force. Had there been more items in there, they would have clanked against each other. What to do, what to do? I wasn't that much for take outs and fast food but right now it looked like my only option for survival. Great! Now I was getting dramatic!

I hopped down from the counter and landed solely on my right leg, which protested a bit but eventually evened out. I went to the countertop on the other side of the fridge and grabbed the cordless phone. We didn't yet have any take-away menus, only the one from the pizza place but I was in no mood for pizza and so; I got the yellow pages.

Having decided I wanted Chinese food, I found the right page and dialed the number. After a few rings

"Welcome to Asia Express, may I take your order?"

"Hi. Can I get a noodles with the fried vegetables?" I proceeded with telling him my address and he said it would take half an hour.

"Great," I complained to myself. Not only was my knee still throbbing, but my stomach was now pinching and it was getting painful and uncomfortable. I opened the freezer and brought out some ice and out it in a wash cloth. I planted myself on the couch, putting on the TV and shifting through the channels which in itself were making me dizzy. I should shift that fast, I made a mental note.

After what was definitely longer than a half hour, the doorbell finally rang. Made my way, slowly, I might add, to the door, hade some trouble with the dead bolt but managed it in the end and opened the door. The sight in which I was greeted was not what I as expecting.

"Mike?" I said in disbelief. He smiled at me and a saw a faint blush spread on his cheeks but pretended not to notice.

"Hi Bella," he said back and just stood there.

"What are you doing here?" My voice sounded rude but I was starving.

"I'm delivering Chinese food." He looked slightly shocked, like he was at the wrong house and his blush became more pronounced.

"But don't you work at the pizza place?"

"Yeah. I work at both actually I just need the money and…" He started rambling and I stopped listening after money and just stood and watched him. How was it possible for someone to talk that much to someone they hardly knew. But I should be the one to judge. I remembered the first time I saw Edward. I mean seriously! The man is a living- breathing god for Christ sake! It's bound to be a little difficult talking to him, in the beginning at least.

As I was preoccupied with Edward on my mind I didn't notice Mike stop talking and reached out his hand, the food in a paper bag in his closed hand. As I reached for it, my hand nudged his and I heard him cough. His hand was cold and very… moist? Like he had been sweating. I took the food, paid Mike and closed the door, clocking both locks.

The food was delicious, I had to admit. The noodles had been rolled and fried in egg which made the taste so much more pronounced but also irresistible. I actually managed to finish everything. That was the first time I'd ever done that. When it came to fast food, I was really picky and I usually liked home cooked instead. But this was so good I thought I could eat another batch. But at the thought of it, my stomach groaned, having already suffered enough food to last at least 2 days.

Just sitting and watching a mindless show after another got me increasingly bored. I still could walk quite properly and had to be quits till. It was numb from the icing but it wasn't as painful as it had been during the afternoon. Just as one fo the shows I absolutely loathed came on, I turned off the TV and sat in the silence.

It was creepy in a way. I could only hear the wind from outside and my quiet breathing, but that was it. Feeling a little freaked out, I started moving. The house was still overflowing with boxes here and there and they were going to unpack themselves.

I started in the hallway. It was only painting that needed to be hung and then that was done. The whole house had been painted the way we wanted before we moved in so there were no worries about that. I got to the garage to find a hammer and some nails. The sigh took me off guard.

The entire thing was organize and I sear the tools, nails and screws were all categorized. It was creepy seeing things this well made. It only made me think if my father really were okay. He had been so different ever since he told me we were moving, yet again. He had been going here for some time and why not just move here? Pulling the thoughts out of my head, I took the tools I needed, walked in again and started my work.

But as I suspected, there was only so many paintings that could be hung and was done within the hour. It was only 9 o'clock, too early for bed.

"Huh," I huffed/sighed in annoyance. Deciding I had had enough for removing things from boxes because I had no life and was clumsy enough to fall on my _knee_, I took of to my bedroom.

"Oh god," I groaned into the softness of my pillow. I had been lying in this very spot for exactly 24 minutes and I was on a good way of dying out of boredom. I rolled over and checked my alarm clock. 21:33 it read and I sighed.

Only then did I remember that I said I was going to call Edward later at night about the leg. But what if I didn't call? What could he do? Call himself? No, he didn't have my number, given I had to change it. Dropping your cell phone in the toilet, yes it happens, is not the best thing for it. Would he show up? No he couldn't possibly- yes he'd show up. I retrieved my phone and scrolled down until I found 'Edward's cell'. I debated with myself for a number of minutes if I should actually call. My self control finally gave in, wanting to hear his voice.

"Hello?"

"Edward?"

"Bella?" I heard ruffling on the other line and he must have been on his bed.

"Yeah well… you said I should call about the leg and I feared you would have shown up otherwise." I was only half joking and I heard him give a tiny laugh in response and I continued.

"It wouldn't be the first time you'd do something like that." At that he laughed louder.

"If I do recall correctly," he added, "you were apart of some of those "crazy" things." I could practically see him making air quotes.

"Yeah well, that was some time ago," I added a little sadness in my tone. It was quite for a while, only the sound of out breath could be heard. This also, was not awkward, it was familiar, comfortable, too comfortable, for now.

'_For now? What does that mean?' _

GAH! I was talking to myself in my head, how more psycho could you get.

I heard the sound of tired driving on the ground and a few moments later, the door opened and closed, followed by the sound of my father.

"Bella!" he exclaimed. "I'm home." It was automatic what I did. I pulled away the phone and shouted out;

"Hi dad!" I put the phone back to my ear.

"That your dad?" I heard Edward ask.

"Yeah," I said slowly thinking about what had just happened. He doesn't usually greet me when he comes home. He just grunts a hello and leaves for bed.

"That was strange."

"Yeah. He's getting weirder and weirder every day." I chuckled and then sighed.

"So I'll see you tomorrow," he sounded like he didn't want to hang up. I had to admit, I din't want that either.

"Yeah. Gotta go to school. Says the law," only the last comment I muttered buthe heard anyway and laughed. Then I remembered something.

"And Edward?"

"Yeah?" I smiled although he couldn't see it.

"How did you know I still didn't have your number?" the line went quite and I smiled more profoundly.

"Edward?" I snickered quietly.

"Is it that difficult to answer?" I was getting serious now and actually wanted an answer. All teasing aside. I herd him sigh on the other line.

"I- I called you…" he trailed off but I waited for him to continue. I sat straight up in my bed. He called me? When, why? He answered my unspoken question.

"It was like a week after you moved and when I called there was a voice who said the number had been disconnected-" before he could finish, if he even had more to say, I answered without thinking.

"I dropped into the toilet." I heard a chuckle. I suppose it was difficult not to laugh at that.

"Seriously?" He manages to get out between his laughing and the need to breath in oxygen.

"Yeah, seriously." Now my voice was annoyed but I knew I couldn't stay that war for long.

"So why'd you cal? Something you wanted?" I kept my emotions in check and wait for him to answer, silently hoping that it was for the reason that I wanted most. He doesn't wait that long to answer.

"It's-" but he gets interrupted by Charlie, opening the door, without knocking. I sharply turns, bringing the phone down and glare at him.

"C– Dad! Have you ever heard of knocking?" He looks down, embarrassed and apologizes.

"Just wanted to say goodnight." With that he leaves and I slowly brings the phone back to my ear.

"Sorry," I say, "My father seems to think he doesn't need to know before entering my room.

"It's fine. I should go. It's getting late, well, sorta." I, feeling disappointed, agrees and we end the conversation.

I plop back on the bed and not too long after that, I drifted of into sleep.


	6. Sleep

**AN: If you are one of those whom absolutely hates it wher there are mistakes, I can tell you right now that are good chances there will be mistakes. But if you are that obsessed, write them down and I will changed it.**

_Sleep _

I knew it was still in the early stages of morning when I awoke. I felt uncomfortable and realised I had not changed into my pyjamas, still being in my jeans. I looked at my nightstand and realised it was 3 in the morning. I sit up and rub my eyes. My knee still hurts but it wasn't as bad as it was the previous day, or afternoon, rather. I realise, with relief that I have gym in the morning and there was no way I could participate with my knee. The joy that washed over me, knowing that I wouldn't have to injure and completely embarrassing myself further when everyone realises I'm a complete spaz when it comes to sports, was unbelievable.

I get out of my bed, walk over to the closet and rummage through it, in my search for the items in question. It took longer than I envisioned, even when I turned the light on. I feel my teeth have a layer on them, probably by the fact that I hadn't brushed them before I fell asleep. As I walk into the bathroom and turn on the light, the sharpness burns my eyes and I turn it down, using the dimmer.

Feeling not tired at all anymore, I wash my face. Looking up; I see a difference in my features. In the morning my face was… lifeless. Big bags under my eyes, dead eyes, haystack-like hair and much too pale skin. Now, however, there were hardly any sign of bags under my eyes. My skin was still pale but it didn't look unhealthy this time. As for my hair, well, I couldn't help that but it didn't look ugly with it not brushed and messy, I kind of liked it like this.

It had been a while since I had looked like this. Not dead, not unhealthy, but… I didn't have a word for it. The closest I could come to was hopeful. Did I look hopeful? Did I feel hopeful?

Sighing, I retrieved into my bedroom, realising I had been changing and face washing for 40 minutes. Had I really been looking that long at myself? That was… disturbing and egocentric. I didn't normally spend much of my time checking myself out. But I didn't really care; it was just me in here. I relaxed into my bed, letting my head fall onto the pillows. But sleep would not come to me, it seemed.

I laid down and stared up at the ceiling, thinking about absolutely nothing. I was as immobile as stone with my hands lying on my stomach. I was sure my eyes would burn if I didn't blink soon. It was like you saw in the movies. The main character couldn't sleep and just plainly stared up at the ceiling "thinking" about the problem that he or she was having. I was that character, except the only thing I was "thinking" about was random thoughts that cursed though my head at the moment. None of which had anything to do with anything substantial.

Like; I needed to go grocery shopping tomorrow. The fridge was still empty as a cave since, assumed; my father hadn't taken that into account and shopped before returning home last night. He usually ate at work or bought something on the way over there. I continued musing for another half hour, or so I thought. But no matter how hard I tried, sleep would not come to me. And when my clocked turned 5 I sighed. It was just another hour until I actually had to get up and so; I took a shower. I took a longer one this time, really making every minute count.

As I dried off and threw on some dark blue jeans, not skinny this time, a white Rolling Stones concert t-shirt and dark green converses and another one of my front-zipped-hoodies. I still had some problem walking normally and the trip down the stairs proved to be difficult but I managed to get down without any major accident. My father was already gone, which didn't surprise me one bit.

I didn't start until 9 and it was still 7.30. What to do with the time? I mused to myself.

Knowing my stomach was about to ache, it was best to get going and buy some breakfast on my way to school. I grabbed my bag, a different one since yesterday, I didn't need a repeat of that, and I was out the door. I took it easy down the porch steps, they were slippery from… – oh – the rain! Again with the freaking wetness that sipped from the gray and lifeless clouds. Like they were taunting me, the gray and lifeless clouds above my head looked like they were about to splutter out another forecast and so I made my way to the little hybrid. I loved that car.

"Alright ladies and gents," bellowed the coach in his Scottish tenor that somewhat reminded me off groundskeeper Willie in The Simpsons, "pair up and start kicking the ball around for a minute. Then we're gonna play some football!" It was ridiculous how excited he was about a simple game of soccer.

I was seated on the benches. Coach hadn't noticed me yet which was fine; he did scare me a bit. It's like he could kill you just by yelling or perhaps one of his "staring you down" contests which he, of course, always won.

Although that didn't last very long. He redirected his gaze and saw me. Coming over, he looked like an ogre walking, reminding me of Shrek.

"Why are you?" His tone was rude but I tried not to take any notice of it.

"Bella Swan. I-" But before I could even finish, he interrupted me.

"And why are you just sitting here? Go on and change and then come back here." He was close to yelling at me. For what? I didn't know.

"But I can't-" He was starting to frustrate me. Did he want me to shout it out?

"Oh? And why is that?" Now he was just acting like a jerk.

"I fell and hit my knee yesterday and I can barely walk, let alone run." I said it as fast as I could, giving him not time to interrupt me, again.

"What?" His tone was amused and sarcastic, "Is that the best you could do? Come on? I've heard them all. Sprained foot, injured arm and what else you kids can come up with. I don't se any crutches so get in that locker room, change and come right out-" This time, it wasn't _me_ who interrupted him.

"Coach?" I looked and over the coaches right shoulder stood Edward. The coach turned around and gave him an annoyed;

"What?"

"She did fall… yesterday. Injuring her knee." What?! I must have looked shocked, or maybe like a deer in the headlights.

"What?" It was now low and I assumed that I wasn't supposed to have heard that.

"There was water on the pavement and she fell forward, right on her knee." Edward wore this innocent expression that I knew all too well and I had to fight to keep off a smirk as coach realised I really was injured and wasn't making it up.

"Well… then… you just sit here for the rest of class." I nodded and bit the inside of my cheek to keep me from either laughing or smirking. Coach left rather quickly but Edward stayed. Looking down at me with apologetic eyes.

"He can be a bit of-"

"An asshole." I finished and he laughed with me, nodding. As he was about to leave I called out.

"Edward?" he stopped and turned. "Thanks. By the way." He smiled at me and it was the crooked grin that, literally, made my knees go weak and my heart to stutter frantically in my chest.

I spent the rest of gym sitting on the bleachers, looking over the field. I wasn't interested in sports, least of all soccer. To me; people running after a ball and shooting it around the filed, kind of reminded me that of a cat, chasing it's ball or yarn. I had my trustworthy mp3 player and listened to it discretely, with only one ear bud in. The melodic sound of "River Flows In You" by Yiruma flower through my ears. But even with the help of my Korean friend, gym still managed to suck, completely.

I was pretty sure that if things would continue like they were, I would inevitably fall asleep. And then;

"Alright boys and girls! Hit the shower!" And the whistle blew. _Finally!_ I exhaled in relief and took off. As I still had books in my bag that really didn't need to be there, I stopped by my locker and locked them in.

"Hi Bella," I recognised the voice of Angela and turned around to greet her.

"Hi Angela."

"Are you sitting with us at lunch today?" PEU! So I wouldn't have to sit alone. I shoved my bag in there also, having no need to drag it around anymore, my shoulder hurt a bit. I didn't even have anything heavy in it! Jeezh! (AN: my bag is completely like that. I have possibly one book in there and it weighs like I have bricks in it. Just had to mention =P)

"Yeah. Thanks." We walked together to the cafeteria and now it was packed with people, everywhere.

I don't know how, but at the lunch line, Angela managed to get herself 4 places a head of me. I stood and waited for the line to move along. How could people take that long? It was just food, your life don't depend on the choice! A voice behind me brought me back to earth.

"Hi, again." I gasped and turned my head to the left and exhaled. He chuckled at my expression and I hit him playfully on the arm, careful not to make a scene.

"I told you to never do that again." I was only half mad and he sensed it and smiled at me, not in the least sorry. And he proved me right on that point.

"Sorry?" It was stated like a question.

"No you're not," I muttered and the line moved one person ahead and I groaned.

"You're right, I'm not." Gah! with the cocky confidence. I wanted to hit him. That wasn't good. That's what I wanted before, when I first met him. What was he doing to me?!

We stood in silence as the queue moved so slowly I thought I would age. But it didn't help that I didn't look at him for I was ultra aware that he was in fact less than foot behind me. Just that thought, of having him so close was enough to get my heart rate speeding like the wings of a hummingbird.

The line had gone forward and as I saw the food I grimaced. UNG! I should have left for the store again.

"It's not like in Virginia," I heard Edward comment softly, right next to my ear. I shivered slightly, doubting he could have noticed. The school in Virginia where Edward and I had met; Cape Henry Collegiate School. (AN: For the record!!! As I don't live in America and know absolutely nothing of your schools and how you have it, let me make this clear now: I just picket a school in the bunch and it was completely random. All I took was a private school with a good-sounding name so don't shoot me for incorrectness and such!)

It was an okay school, I guess. Almost 1000 students, it was easy to get lost in the crowds. I liked Virginia. We stayed there for 6 months or so. I don't remember a time where we have stayed that long, before. After Virginia was Dallas, Texas. I wasn't _that_ comfortable with the water but as I see and experience Forks; I'm liking Texas a lot more. Anything without rain this much is on my favourite list now. I was deep in thoughts and it must have shown for the line had stopped where I was standing and I didn't notice until a warm breath spread across my cheek and ear.

"Bella, you need to move." I turn to look and true enough; the line had stopped and the others in the row were looking at me with murdering eyes. I blushed and hurried along. My hair fanned around my face, hiding it from view. I didn't talk to Edward anymore. I didn't really give either of us a chance for directly after I had gotten my lunch, I almost sprinted towards the table where I was sitting or would be in a few seconds.

"What took you so long?" Asked Jessica, looking up from her food. She said it like she was interrogating me or something,

"Just thinking about something from before I moved here… " I trailed off the sentence, in no mood of chatting about my previous life. Jessica didn't get that impression.

"Oh! Were did you move from? We don't know any of it. Please tell us!" How anyone could be that interested in someone else's history was beyond me. I sighed. This was going to be a long lunch.

I merely answered questions and didn't start any myself. The most interested was Jessica. It was like my life story was a drug, personally, I think she just wanted the first dish and could tell it along. She was known for her gossiping, which it why I didn't specifically tell anyone where and for how long I lived in Virginia. Jessica may be sort of stupid but even she could put two pieces together.

"I've lived all over the place; California, Texas, New York, Virginia, Illinois…" Smooth, I commented myself.

"That must be fun." Observed Angela, "To travel so much, I mean."

"Not really," I said sadly and before Jessica could get into more details, lunch was over. I exhaled in relief and dumped the contents of my tray in the bin.

I had history and chemistry left. Two classes I so much loved, I thought with sarcasm dripping in my mind.

History proved to not be as bad as I have thought. It wasn't the best subject but it wasn't the worst either. Some parts of world history were actually quite enjoyable to read about. But chemistry on the other hand; that was an entirely different story. I was forced to sit by Jessica, her choice. I still got the impression that she only hung around me because of what she could get out of me. Like i had some big dark secret. I did have one but it wasn't dark or anything. I tried to focus on my work and sometimes, ignore the question she asked simply out of privacy but that was difficult.

I was raised to not go near anything to can be proved as poison or explosives or anything in general that could in fact endanger and/or end you life. Not that we actually blew anything up in class, but the materials that we were using weren't drink-or edible, so to speak.

After an hour and 30 minutes, we were let off and I took my time, not because everyone else was out of their seat the second the clock turned 14:00 and practically hurling out of the door, although that was one of the reasons, but because I was so slow I felt like I could have taken a nap on the table. My eyes were dropping and I felt all my energy had entirely left my body. It didn't help that I was reminded I needed to go to the story and buy, well, every item on the shelves.

"Bye Bella," Jessica said as she left the room in a hurry. I had not time to give a response.

After having trudged to my locker on the second floor and then back down towards my car, the one I was walking towards at this second, I noted the parking lot was close to empty. How slow was I really? Or did everyone just want to go home that badly? Shaking my head, I scrambled inside and drove off.

**AN: what you think? I know it's going quite slowly but I wanted something on my mind for some time and this seemed like a good story to do so. **

**And besides, I think many of the stories**** here go way to fast. For example; Bella and Edward se each other and two days later they're in love and already committed towards each other. For me, that a bit too fast and in real life, as this is close to it ad being an all-human story, things takes time. **


	7. Dreams

**AN: I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. Dream are always fun, you can virtually make up anything you want and personally; I like making up things, having the imaginary ****mind that I have. I won't detain you for any longer…. To the story! **

_Dreams_

It took me all of 4 turns to get every last stupid paper bag inside the house. I might have though I'd gone overboard but screw that! I was hungry and it's not my fault that pop tarts have long till their expiration date.

"Mah!" I exclaimed as I sat the last two bags on the kitchen island countertop. I exhaled in relief, only to groan as I knew I had to pack away everything away, into the cabinets and fridge and so on and so on. My mind wasn't working well today, I noted. It was amazing I actually got through the grocery store, let alone buy virtually everything we needed. I don't think I forgot anything.

The muscles in my left leg groaned in protest to all my walking. It wasn't quite back to normal yet, although, it wasn't painful but not pleasant either. I collapse into the coach as I had finished in the kitchen.

I must have fallen asleep on the couch because I was being shaken awake by my father whom was hunched over the back of the couch. I yawned and sat up, stroking my eyelids, feeling the exhaustion.

"What time is it?" I asked; my voice groggy with sleep.

"10, I just got home. You shouldn't sleep on the couch; you'll crane your neck." He stood up straighter and I nodded, only half listening. I was in no condition to make dinner and so I went to sleep right away. Sleep would probably make my head fall into the spaghetti or something.

My pillows and cover felt wonderful against me. They were only slightly chilly which I loved. I usually kept it pretty cold in my room, getting warm during the nigh was something I loathed. I shifted so I was lying on my side and I held a pillow close to me, hugging it. It was a habit I had picked up. It was a very smooth, soft pillow and I really couldn't sleep without it. Before I knew it, I was asleep, dreaming.

_I ran and I ran until I could no more. My breath was coming in pants, my vision became blurry and my legs hurt. I didn't know for how long I had been running. It felt like forever in that moment. My __limbs, all of them, felt like mush, or maybe jell-o was a better description. My hearing was muffled and the only sound that I heard was my beating heart and my panting breath. _

_I must not stop, I told myself. It would only get worse then. But I still didn't know what I was running from, or to. No- it felt like I was running from something. Like someone was chasing me. But that something, I didn't know what it was. But I knew I needed to keep running. And so I started again but with increasing difficulty. My legs would not cooperate enough and I was practically limping. _

_Somewhere in the back of my mind, I did register that this was all a dream and not for real but it was only the smallest of whispers and I didn't acknowledge it. __It didn't matter that it was a dream and not for real, it felt like it was happening in that moment and that was enough to keep me running until I'd collapse. _

_I was moving slower than I did before. But it wasn't because of the pain that shot through my legs__ and lunges, no, it was something entirely different. It was like I was being sucked or dragged back by and invisible rope or force. I tried to fight it but it wasn't enough. It hurt, being drawn back. But it wasn't the kind of pain you got from breaking a bone or being shot. No- whilst those were injuries that would make pain, physical, shoot through you, this was more in my mind than in my body. _

_I had to stop one more time. The pain in my legs was horrible, from running, hurt like hell and I could peel a pricking shooting through them. I bent over slightly, clutching my ribs, trying to get my breathing under control. I leaned against the cold brick wall, looking around frantically. _

_It was an alley, which one, however, I did not know. But it was dark, in the early hours of morning, perhaps, or late night, if you will. I didn't hear anything that was out of character. Myself, I was making noise with my breathing and I knew that if someone would to walk by, they would surely hear my heart too, trying to escape the warm comfort of my chest. The wind was swishing by, but it was not cold, nor was it hot either. It was lukewarm. That was strange way to determine the temperature, I'll admit, but it was the truth. _

_Leaning forward, I put my face into my hands, rubbing it. __Then, as I had stood still for no more than 2 minutes, I presumed, I heard a noise from where I had run. My head shot to the left and I pushed myself off the cold bricks. The noise was still there, it was like footsteps, either jogging or fast walking. I couldn't determine which one. But I knew _somewhere_ that I didn't want to be caught. But what's the worst that could happen? That I die? Would that be the worst of it? _

_No. I__t all felt like a really bad dream, like a horror move you're living yourself. Either you run for your life and pray to whomever, or you stay put and fight it off. I chose the easy way; run. Could you really blame me?! I was being chased by an unknown creature, person, whatever; of course I would run. I didn't exactly have control over my body in the way that I would, had I been awake. _

_I ran and I ran, for as fast as I could. I still felt the slight pulling, telling or signalling me to stop and turn around. But I wouldn't, I didn't, I- I don't know. I was confusing myself, never a good thing. _

_The alley was like a maze and every wall was made out of bricks. Cold, damp, old maroon bricks, was what they were. To anyone, they would look like old apartments. But I looked up and there were no windows. They were houses, I assumed, but houses with no windows? That was odd and well… impossible, for apartment houses anyway. _

_I ran, longer now than the first time I stopped, I thought, I really couldn't tell. I didn't have a watch and even though it seemed like I had been here for hours, it was the same light as ever. The sky was pitch-black. All around me, steam came up out of the seawards. The sight, faintly reminded me off 'Batman Begins', right when the airborne virus had been released, towards the end. _

_It all see__med ridiculous but still didn't. Great! Now I was making no sense what so ever! But I still couldn't stop running. As I thought I had no more oxygen left on my body I came to a halt. But not for the reason I had to. It was a dead end. Panic began to build inside of me. _

"_What?!" I questioned but it was only a whisper to me. _

"_NO!" My voice was breathless and I suddenly had a lump in my throat. I felt tears prick my eyes, confused as to why they were there in the first place. Despair broke me and I let out a sob. Was I sad to die? _

_I heard something behind me and whirled around only to face nothing but the same alley I came from. I backed away from it, my eyes shooting all over the scene. I back and then stopped but it was not because of a brick wall. I froze and tensed. Someone was behind me. Neither of us made a move and I only dared breathing through my nose but even that was quieted down. My heart was beating the fastest it had yet to beat. The figure behind me made no sound which I thought was strange. It had been running after me for hours! How could it not be as breathless as I am? All this only lasted two seconds, literally, for exactly when I bumped into it; the figure raised its hand and brought it to the side of my neck. And I awoke with a jolt. _

I was covered in a thin layer of cold sweat. My heart was very likely to be going at 200 bpm. I was sitting up and once I had calmed down a bit and realised that I was in fact, safely in my bed, in my own home, I relaxed and brought my face to my hands, mimicking what I'd done in the alley.

I had had that dream for a while but never every night. It had come and gone for weeks, months but it was never identical. I was always running through a maze of brick walls and someone, I didn't know who, was chasing me or just following, which was really the same thing.

"Weird," I commented to myself. Feeling a little foolish to be talking to myself but as I happened to be alone, I had not other choice. I sat up straighter and in pretzel style, hanging my head into my hands, breathing as regularly as I could at the moment. Exhaustion was still around me and I felt my shoulders stiffen and ached as I made a move to sit up straighter. I rolled them around to get the feeling back and laid back down, sighing as it felt so much better than sitting. It felt like I had been working in the field, planting seeds or something, for hours and hours.

Looking at my alarm clock, I sighed and relaxed back into my pillows. 4:30 in the morning. I wasn't sure I even wanted to fall asleep again but the fatigue I felt from lack of actually dreamless sleeping was taking its toll off me and I fell into slumber.

The dream that followed proved to be similar but not the same. I wasn't running but I was in a maze and walking. This time I was walking towards something. I didn't know what. I didn't have a chance to find out for as quickly as my dream had started; it ended, by the spine shilling sound of my alarm clock. I groaned and moved to turn it off.

I took absolutely no notice of myself and only managed to get through a quick shower, trying my best to get the sleep out of me, with no luck at all. Deciding that sleep would prevail in the end, I let it go and got out, drying myself the best that I cold. I didn't care one bit on how I looked today and skipped the whole mascara and eyeliner thing. I'd just have to go natural. I got dressed in black sweatpants, t-shirt, hoodie and sneakers. Before I knew it, I had eaten, not much but still some and was out the door and in my car, driving slower than usual today, feeling it wasn't necessary to cause an accident.

School today was much like yesterday, but without the screaming Scottish coach. But, the overly sleepy state I had been in yesterday was still there but this time, it was all day long, from the moment I arrived and the moment I would be let off, it would seem. I couldn't focus on anything and when I did manage to make my brain work faster, it only thought of my dream, the ultra weird and disturbing one.

I'd have disturbing dreams before but they were different and I usually knew I was asleep, right away.

There were one where I was in the ocean, it was yet-black outside and the ocean too. There were other people also but none were screaming. That was, in itself, odd because; if I'd been out in open water I'd be screaming at the top of my lunges. Then there were lights, Christmas lights, to be exact and it was shinning just around us people. I didn't know how they were lit or anything, which also proved the point that I was asleep. Then, to top off the craziness; there was a boat, but in half. Yes! A boat which was cut in half. One half was speeding around like a race boat and the other was… well… rolling around. Yep! Rolling around! You heard it folks; the boat was rolling around!

The voice in my mind sounded like the guy from "the price is right" and I shook my head, feeling strange for thinking about that dream at this moment of Science. I was in no mood for any of the questions or work that we were doing. I had taken a seat in the way back. It was a smart move I have to say myself. The teacher rarely looked or even acknowledged the students in the way back, often being class skippers and the ones that didn't really care about being here.

I sighed and promised myself I wouldn't fall asleep as I let my head fall carefully on my book, with my arms used as shades for the light. But I did, fall asleep that is. I didn't have time to dream before I awoke again with a startled expression and feeling quite disoriented. It took me a full 10 seconds before I understood that I was in fact in school and the thing that had woken me up must have been…? There was no ringing, signalling that a class had ended, my cell phone was in my bag, incapable of vibrating in my pocket. The fire alarm? No that didn't seem plausible. The rest of class was sitting in their seats and none had noticed my dosing off, it seemed.

I leaned my head on my hand and once again, my eyes dropped dangerously low and I straightened up in my chair. Maybe I had awoken myself before and was doing the same now. I sighed. I'm over thinking it… again.

"I'm going insane," I muttered to myself. I was feeling stupid again for not only speaking to myself but for speaking to myself in class. And again, no one seemed to notice. I sighed, that was becoming a bad habit of mine. I rubbed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. I tried getting back to the problem at hand which was a bunch of question, none of which I could even make out at this point. At least I tried getting through the remaining 20 minutes without falling asleep. And this time; I prevailed!

I trudged slowly towards biology. Only then was I reminded that I have biology with Edward. Edward. Even though I have seen him before, many times and said his name, oh so many times, it still felt new and the feeling and effect he had on me never faltered and I hoped it never would. But at the same time I wished I would. It would be so much easier to get over him and forget him and what we had if he wouldn't still have theses effects on me. I sighed again. Dammit!

By the time I got to biology, he wasn't there. Although, I did have a 20 minute break time between science and biology and apparently; 10 minutes of those had gone to simply walking here. I walked to my seat and slumped down, literally. I felt like a pile of mush. I saw Mike enter the room and I had planned on throwing down my head onto the counter so that he wouldn't start speaking to me but I was processing everything too slowly. He smiled as he saw me and made for my table. _'Great,'_ I thought with sarcasm.

"Hi, Bella," his voice was innocent and friendly and I sighed, for the thousandth time today.

"Hi Mike," I said back as nicely as I could muster. Sleep deprivation must have been evident on my face as I looked up at him.

"You okay Bella?" Hi concern was a little too much. It was as if I was one of the most important people in his life.

"Just fine Mike, didn't' get much sleep that's all." I smiled reassuringly but that was obviously the wrong thing to do. He smiled back and I could have sworn I saw a glint in his eyes. Mike opened his mouth as if to speak but got interrupted.

"Mind moving so I can sit, Newton?" Edward was standing right behind Mike and he visibly tensed at the sound of Edward's voice. He also looked mad. Why? What a peculiar feeling.

"Yeah, sure." His answer was short but he moved to his seat but still looked my way, probably when he thought I wasn't watching, but it was hard not to notice.

"Thanks," I said and Edward turned, looking at me incredulously.

"You're welcome…. What I do?" I laughed a very exhausted laugh.

"For making him leave," I knew he knew who I was talking about. Edward looked towards Mike's table and Mike looked down, having been watching us.

"What? Not a fan of Newton?" He smirked at me and I shook my head.

"Not that. I just can't really deal with people today. But he is a bit annoying actually." I only muttered the last part but Edward herd. He laughed. I smiled and turned my attention towards the door. Mr. Cyle was just walking through the door, pulling along a TV with a VCR attached to it. I groaned. Why did they have to make it so difficult not to sleep?

"What?" I heard Edward ask under his breath and it fanned around my face, he smelled heavenly. I briefly remember how wonderful he tasted- no! I can't think about that. Least of all in class, in school! I shoot my head, like that would clear the image I conjured up.

"I'm really tired and not sure I'm going to be able to stay awake if we're gonna watch a film." Edward laughed, maybe thinking I was being a little dramatic but I wasn't and apparently, I needed to prove that to him. It felt like I did.

"I'm not joking. I fell asleep in Science and haven't been able to sleep well last night." He stopped laughing and surveyed my features. His expression became less amused and more concerned.

"Sorry," He turned forward and so did I. The lights were killed and the room went as dark as night, except for the TV, that is. I could feel myself getting more and more exhausted and just as my eyelids dropped I felt a warm breath on my chin.

"Don't worry," he said and I shivered, but not out of coldness, "if you fall asleep I promise I'll wake you." I looked at him, his face was so close. Instead of doing what I really wanted to I smiled and knew he saw it and turned towards the TV.

True enough, I did need a reason for being awakened. I dropped my elbows to the table, my chin in my hands and finally, my eyelids closing. I blinked rapidly and sat up, not letting myself get too comfortable. By trying to concentrate on the film which we were watching, I found myself getting more and more tired than before. I redirected my gaze and prayed we wouldn't have a quiz or something on what was being said. I would be screwed.

I looked down into my lap, my hands folded there, just lying uselessly. I sighed but it was one of impatience now, not boredom. After 5 minutes I thought I would actually die. The darkness didn't help the matter that I was literally falling asleep in my chair, in biology, in school! Being annoyed with myself and the school I didn't notice when I'd laid down my arms on the bench, rested my head and closed my eyes.

The dream I had only lasted for a good 5 seconds. It started where it had stopped before. The figure was standing right behind me. None of us moving, I didn't event think it was breathing. It felt more real than it had before. I heard an intake of breath and then someone spoke.

"Bella," it was faint when I heard it but didn't respond. I then felt some… pinching? What?! Yes... someone pinched my thigh and my eyes shot open. It was still dark; the TV was the only source of light. Except for a few cell phones which belong to people bored to death like myself. I looked to my side and saw Edward watching me. Then I remembered how I had awoken and looked at him with incredulous eyes. He must have sense what I was referring to and grabbed a piece of paper and wrote. He shoved the paper my way when he finished, even through the dark, I could still manage to see his perfect handwriting.

"_You didn't __wake up… I had to improvise. I couldn't shake you or anything."_

I could almost hear him say it in that innocent voice. The one that was almost too innocent. I didn't know what to respond so I just muttered a 'thanks' and started doodling on a piece of paper in my notebook. I looked at the clock. GAH! 35 minutes left! What is with the world?! But I kept doodling and not long after did I see a note. It was the same note as before but with another line to it.

"_What's with the __sleepiness? _If anyone else had written it, I'd though they were mocking me but with Edward, he always seemed so sincere, even when he sometimes wasn't.

"_Like I said before, couldn't sleep."_ I shoved the paper towards him and looked down again, toying with the ring that was permanently fixed on my left hand's thumb. I had bought it when my father and I, briefly, visited Spain 2 years back.

I leaned my head on my left hand this time, briefly watching the TV and doodling mindless flowers on my notebook. The note which now had 4 lines on it was placed over my notebook.

"_How's your knee?"_ I looked at the paper with raised eyebrows. Exhaling a breath of air I didn't know I had held in, I scribbled down my response.

"_It's fine. A little sore, that's all."_ I gave him the note and watched as he read and wrote something else.

"_So there was no need for the hospital."_

"_Like I __told you there wasn't."_ I knew I sounded smug but really didn't care. This was fun, talking to him again, like we used to.

"_No need to sound so smug,"_ I looked at him but behind the innocent expression was a twitching at the corner of his lips, he was fighting a smile. I rolled my eyes. I laughed a short and quit laugh while responding.

"_What are you doing?"_

"_What? Talking to you? Is that so horrible?"_

"_You know what I mean.__"_

"_I'm only trying to prevent you from falling asleep,"_ and that he did. I didn't feel as tired but still was, a little.

"_Fine,"_ was all that I responded. It looked like he was contemplating weather or not to respond or not and he wrote but it wasn't a respond.

"_You know what?" _

"_And what it that__?" _

"_We're so screwed if there's a quiz on the film."_ I laughed quietly, or so I thought.

"Quiet Ms. Swan." Mr. Cyle said and most of class looked at me. I could feel a blush creeping up my cheeks. Edward scribbled down something and handed me the note again.

"_Sorry. But it__'s true."_

"_It's __okay. It is. I thought that as the movie started."_ He smiled at me and it wasn't the "normal" smile but the crooked one. It was lucky I was seated, otherwise, I was sure to have fallen to the floor.

We remained "silent" throughout the 10 remainder minutes of the movie. As the after texts scrolled down the screen, people were getting up to leave, all being pretty soggy after that ordeal. I myself; felt my leg muscles protest and my foot had fallen asleep, making it come to life with a tingling prickliness shoot through, making me let out a short giggle.

"What's so funny?"

"My foot's asleep and now it's sorta numb," my voice had gotten humorous.

"Why is that funny?" Shrugging my shoulders, I replied.

"It tingled when I stood up." He laughed at my sentence and pulled his bag over his shoulder, walking out of the room.

**AN: ****So this chapter was a bit longer but I had a lot of material. Like I said, dreams can be funny and actually, the dream with the boat is real. I don't know what happened to make me dream about a severed boat, or ship, but I did and it was immensely disturbing xD. I do remember thinking, in my dream; WHAT THE FUCK?!! Hahaha… **

**I****t won't be long until next update. 2 days at most, I have another story I need to write for also! And if you have anything you really want to see, or read in this case, don't hesitate to tell! **

**Let me know what you think, makes me happy with REVIEWS! =D =D **


	8. Denial

**AN: Note that chapter 6 was updated and ****you should read the last part if you haven't already but it won't confuse you so much, I think, if you don't. **

**Now… I mustn't detain you any longer… To the story! **

Denial

I watched as Edward left the room, probably standing and ogling as eh walked away. I composed myself and made to bring my notebook and the paper that was severely used by Edward and myself during today's lesson. I saw, through my peripheral vision, Mike watching the retreating form of Edward Cullen with a frown on his face. He then looked my way and I shifted my gaze down to my bag, pretending to be looking for something, completely ignoring him. But mike here seemed to have a difficulty time understanding when someone makes something fully obvious. Which was that I wasn't interested in him. Who would want someone watching their every move and not in the adoring way of looking out for you. No the creepy kind the stalkerish kind.

And here he comes, the trusting golden retriever whom followed you like a lovesick puppy and attached to you worse than a leech. I almost giggled. That sounded so much like a bad commercial.

"Hi Bella. Wanna walk to the cafeteria? You're sitting with m– us right?" His tone was on the protective side and it made me wonder if he though Edward and I would sit.

"Sure. Why wouldn't I?" I wanted him to tell it himself and not me trying to fight out what was going on inside that head of his. Deliriousness was obvious but what else?

"Okay," he ignored my question and the both of us went of to lunch.

We sat at the same table we had the other times. Wow, I though of how long I had been here… had I only been here for 4 days? It felt so much longer than that.

I wasn't all that hungry and watched as the cafeteria filled up with students. I saw Emmet and the other two, the blondes, which I still didn't know by name, walk in. They stood in line, got their food and sat down by the table that had sat by the first time I saw them all. But two were missing. A few minutes went by and my eyes burned a bit by the lack of blinking. I lowered my head and rubbed my closed eyelids.

The rest of my table were all in deeply interesting conversations. I'm not exactly what but it seemed that Jessica was beating Angela's brains out with the knowledge of which celebrities hooked up this month and what the odds were of them breaking up or slit up, it was difficult to keep up with the way Jessica talked. I felt sorry for Angela, having to listen to that, it must be torturous.

As I looked up, merely out of reflex by now, I saw them. Edward and Alice were standing in the lunch line, chatting. Anyone who saw them couldn't help but notice how similar they looked but not at all at the same time.

While Edward was tall, Alice was short, pixie short even. Edward had that gorgeous hair of bronze locks while Alice had black hair but with softness towards it, translation; a lighter shade of black.

But they both had pale skin, much like mine but theirs melted together with their hair tone and they looked more like models than students in the small town of Forks, Washington. Both of them also walked very gracefully. Alice, I knew, had taken ballet in her earlier years but Edward was like that out of nature. I was jealous of it.

As I said I'd never been the most graceful of people, I meant it. I could be an accidental prone at time. Okay, that was an understatement; I was quite the faller, if you will. Mostly it was in stairs. I swear; they hate me! In almost all stairs, I manage to fall in some way or another. But it had gotten better as I grew older and I didn't fall as much as I used to but still enough to be embarrassing. Although, Edward always said he found it adorable which actually didn't really help with the confidence. But still…

I must have been looking like I was having a daydream for Jessica practically shouted out;

"Bella!" The nearest tables turned and looked our way. I blushed, of course, who wouldn't? I saw, before I turned my focus towards Jessica, Edward looking down to the floor with a smirk on his face. Prick.

"What?" I hissed at her. She seemed satisfied by getting my attention and it made me think if she had some other motive for drawing my attention. Had she seen me staring at Edward?

"What do you think?" What?!

"What do I think about what?" She huffed in annoyance, probably because I hadn't been listening to her talking. If she'd been able to hear herself, she wouldn't have wanted to either.

Jessica then started explaining again what she had talked about and I saw and I had to hold back a sigh that threatened to escape me. I nodded and pretended to listen as I really wasn't. There was only so much gossip one person could take. I leaned my head on my hand and once again felt the overpowering fatigue threaten to take over. My eyes had time to drop once and then I straightened up.

I looked discretely, again out of reflex, towards his table. They were all still and seemingly quiet or maybe just talking silently amongst themselves. Emmet and one of blond, the one who looked like she could be at the cover of Sports Illustrated, were sitting close together, shoulders touching and she had her head on his shoulder. Hmmm… I don't remember Emmet dating anyone.

And Alice didn't seem to be by herself either. She was sitting close to the other blonde, his hand was around her waist and one of her hand was resting on his shoulder, gently rubbing his neck with her thumb. Edward sat close to Emmet. I could see their mouths make small movements. The topic must not have been a good one for Emmer laughed a silent laugh, only his shoulders moving in effort.

Alice dropped her hand from the blonds shoulder and sat up straighter, looking at Edward. He looked at her and frowned but only slightly. They were having some sort of argument now but it was barely visible. The only notices of it were Edward's frowning and Alice's hand movements.

They continued like that another minute or so and then Edward got up and left. Not even looking towards his siblings or here. I glanced their way and they were talking again. Apparently Emmet said something funny because everyone, except Alice laughed. She hit the blond guy, not hard though for he continued laughing and you could see the annoyance on her face. She got up and left too, seemingly walking after Edward. Wondering what that was all about, I looked down, picking up my bagel, tearing it to pieces, I wasn't hungry anymore.

I trudged my way through the messy hallways of Forks High. Paper balls and likewise were thrown around above my head. Wasn't there hall monitors or something? But I guess all schools were like this during the 10 minute breaks that were enough to make you go crazy but not enough to complain about.

My last lesson was chemistry. The only thing that was worse than that was having chemistry, as your last lesson, is having it with none other than Gossip Jessica herself. Huh, good nickname. She was okay but way too nosy for her own good. Although, she would make a good reporter. Haha… maybe a career as a paparazzi? I could practically see her chasing the celebrities down the street after they'd been at the grocery store or the newest club. I laughed; it was a ridiculous sight, even if it was all in my head.

My trustworthy lab partner was not at our table yet as I sat down which was nice considering we left the cafeteria at the same time but I guess she's a slow one. It would be a short lesson today, only an hour. Although, that seemed like forever to me at this point.

"Bella," Jessica greeted me coldly. What was her deal now?

"Hi," I simply said. The lesson started and once the lab had gone for a good 10 minutes, Jessica spoke.

"What's going on with you and Edward Cullen?" The question came accusingly and I thought I would choke on my own breath.

"What are you talking about?" I tried speaking in my most innocent voice and kept my expression confused.

"Don't pay dumb, Bella." She looked at me condescendingly and like she could read my mind or really, really wanted to.

"I'm not," my voice was nothing if not innocence and I gave her another perplexed expression.

"I saw you looking at his table at lunch. A lot," she added and looked accusingly. I took a calming breath and raised an eyebrow in question. She wasn't going to get a confession if that was what she was looking for.

"And then I saw you two talking in the lunch line yesterday." I didn't know or want to comment on that but she didn't give me a chance. "I mean, it's totally cool if you like him. Half the girls in school like him. I mean, he's so hot. It's just plain obvious!" The way she said it was like she owned him, like I needed approval to even look at him. The thought was laughable and so ironic. I scrunched my eyebrows together and tried to look as if I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Jessica. First off all; I looked around in the cafeteria, everywhere and not just at that table and second of all; so what if we talked. It's not like I know him or anything." I wanted to add 'and it's none of your business but I knew my voice would come out in a way I didn't want it to. I deliberately left out the part about likening, that wouldn't go well if I even attempted to answer that one. But Jessica picked up on that.

"What?" She said incredulously and in a hushed tone. "So you mean you do like him?" I was about to open my mouth, denying anything of the sort but, THANK GOD, the door opened and our teacher came in. Jessica became quiet and I redirected my gaze towards the blackboard, the first time ever I was interested in chemistry.

The lesson went by smoothly, meaning; Jessica didn't find another opportunity to interrogate me about Edward and I. I must say I was the reason for a lot of that, I just had to. Just because I could like, doesn't mean I want to do it.

As I walked to my car I saw the Cullen's and the two, yet to me identified siblings walking towards two different set of cars. There was the Volvo. I had to admit; I knew little about car and if it runs, it's good for me but I loved that car. So many times I've gone for a ride in that car. The other one was a red BMW with only two doors. I had to admit, I liked that one too.

It started to drizzle as I walked, glancing at them from time to time. Emmet and the blonde, being ahead of the rest, walked up to the red car, the girl sitting in the driver's seat and Emmet in the passengers. They drove off fast. That was strange? Wouldn't the siblings drive home together? Shrugging it off I watched the rest off them walk silently.

Alice and the other honey blonde walked side by side, hands clasped together, not speaking. Edward was a little behind them. I watched him as he walked. I thought it was unfair he could look like a model even with his hair drenched in the now poring rain. He looked as he was ready to do a shampoo commercial.

I was successfully by my car now, without slipping, that was important to remember. But I made no move to get in. the rain, being cold and wet, everything I hated, didn't make me move into the warm confidence of my little hybrid. I stood and watched him. Him, reaching into his pocked, pulling out a set of keys, car keys, I presumed, for he held them up and the next, the car lights blinked. Alice and the guy I didn't know opened the doors of the backseat and got in.

Edward just walked up and as he looked, he saw me. Our connection only lasted for a second. After he shoved me that oh so sexy crooked grin of his, he jumped into the car and drove off, leaving me standing by my car, leaning against it, in the very cold and very wet rain. I sighed getting in, he would possinly be the death of me.

**AN: I know it's short but I was running out of material and besides, right now I'm kind a loss for words****, possible writers block 0_0, yikes! Any advises or tips, or... anything?!?! **

**Then school will take up some major time for me for the next 6 weeks. We have this project that is due 16****th**** of April and I'm barely half done and I want to have it out of my way, it's always better that way. **

**Hopefully; it'll only be 2 days until ****my next posting, I'll try my best. **


	9. Sickness

**AN: ****There will be a flashback scene in this chapter but I'm not entirely sure I'm happy with that part but… I'll let all of you be the judge of that. **

_Sickness _

True enough, the next morning I woke up with what could only be described as the hangover from hell. The only problem was that I hadn't had a drop of alcohol. Now that wasn't fair, why should I be plagued with, what is the hangover from hell, if I hadn't been drinking? To make matters worse my nose was completely clogged up; making it impossible to breathe easily and my mouth was as dry as the Arizona desert. I opened my eyes slowly only to clench them shut as the morning light greeted me with its presence. I wanted to kill it.

"Uuuuuuuuuuummm…" I groaned, prolonging the whining sound. But the noise only made my throat hurt and my head slightly throbbed, making me feel and hear my own pulse, it was a little too fast. I felt really hot and not in a good way. I shielded my eyes from the sharp light that shone through my windows and slowly, very slowly sat up. I took several deep breaths, trying to bring my heart rate down a notch and maybe release me of my headache.

It was harder to breath as my throat continued to ache and my breath was becoming louder. Deciding the uncontrollable pain which I was feeling wouldn't go away by itself I swung my legs over the side of the bed, about to get up. As I stood, the absolutely annoying and now painful sound of my alarm clock bellowed out in my silent room. My eyes clenched shut again and I put a hand to my head, trying to sooth it whilst shutting off the alarm.

I first went to the windows, closing the blinds so I could actually see where I was walking, not wanting to stumble to the floor and have a concussion, it could very likely happen. I then trudged my way to my bathroom. The dimmer in there was like magic, such low light, yet I could see everything.

My reflection was not something I would vey much like to see ever again. I had been sick before but I never got used to the sigh of it. _'It's just a cold,'_ I told myself but somehow, those words didn't help so much. I wrapped my hair up in a messy bun, getting it out of my face. I then started the water, making it cold; it would be much easier to wake up from that.

When I'd washed my face I took out the thermometer, one that you check by the ear. No fever, it showed and I released a sigh in relief, making me cough in the process. I drank some cold water; it felt wonderful in my stomach but stung a bit when I swallowed it. I still couldn't breathe normally and took out the nasal spray that would hopefully bring the clogging away form my nose.

As I had gone through several Kleenex's I felt much better. At least I could breathe now, somewhat. But my reflection still frightened me.

"Well that's attractive," I said and sniffed, bringing another tissue to my nose. I felt a lot better now but still felt kind of like crap. I didn't like missing out on school. Not that I liked school, but it seemed that every time I was home sick, there had been a major information of the big test next week. Sighing, but making it into a cough, I took some of my favourite painkillers, hopefully, making the "hangover" headache.

I grabbed two packs of tissues, knowing I would need them today. If the luck was on my side, as it always was, I would probably need to hold the tissue directly under my nose, all day long.

I pulled into the parking lot of Forks High. The space was a shorter walk to the building than it had been yesterday. But as my luck yesterday with the none-tripping, life had to get cruel today and I stumbled on the edge of road, dropping my bag and it's content onto the still damp pavement.

"Shit!" I groaned and sat down, feeling the sting on my left knee still there but I ignored it. I was feeling more annoyed than ever. Is it that hard to ask if I needed any help or something? The lot was slowly becoming emptier and I glanced around, noting that only a few was still around.

"Need some help?" I heard the smooth voice and my heart fluttered. I looked up and had to close my eyes a bit, the light was still difficult to take in.

"I wouldn't be opposing to it," I said and looked back down. I saw him gently rest all his weight on his right knee, clasping up my books which was out of reach for me. He passed them to me and I took them, sliding them in my bag. I made to stand but Edward was already there. He took my left arm and helped me up, brining his other harm around my waist. As I was safely on two feet and he just less than 15 centimetres away from me, I felt my cheeks flush.

"Thanks," I said in my lazy voice. His arms loosened and he brought them to his sides. I missed the contact.

"You're welcome," he murmured. "You shouldn't lean so much on your knee, it might cause more damage." I looked in his face, into those eyes and he stared right back at me.

"Okay," I said and my voice was breathless. I looked away and shoot my head with a dumb folded expression on my face. He smirked, of course and I flushed ever redder. We walked side by side to the building. The silence wasn't awkward. Nothing with us was awkward. Not anymore. As we were approaching the steps that led up to the door I sniffed in reaction to my nose and the cold wind.

"Are you okay?" I looked at him and smiled, although it was weak.

"Yeah," my throat was rough and scratchy. "It's just a cold," I told him, the single answer wasn't enough for him, "It's from the rain, yesterday."

"Do you always just stand out in the rain?" His voice was teasing and I glared at him, he laughed at that. Obviously, my glare had not been threatening enough.

"Nooo…" I said, dragging out the word, like it was obvious, and simultaneously shaking my head ever so slightly. "And you shouldn't be so mean," I said with an innocent pout on my lips as we walked into the school, "I woke up with a hangover, without the alcohol, that could only be described as the hangover from hell. And if I'm gonna have a headache that could be known more as a hangover then I should at least have been drinking." As I had talked through, he chuckled for several seconds.

"Well I'm sorry," He said but his lips were twitching again. I glared at him as we came to a stop, going our separate ways now. Him to the left and me to the right.

"You should be," I muttered which only caused him to laugh louder. I winced as the sound was too close and too loud.

"Sorry," he muttered again and made to leave. I watched him retreat again, leaving myself for the second floor. As I walked to Art I let my mind wander.

What was I doing?

Well nothing, technically.

But what do I want to happen?

I don't know.

I sighed at my thoughts. These was all so confusing.

He hurt me once, he could do it again and it was very possible that he could, my father and I would eventually move and then what? What would he do then? Like last time?

As I walked down the ridiculously long corridor I thought back of the last day we saw each other, well, except for this week, that is.

– _Flashback – _

_I had tears in my eyes and the__y wouldn't top coming. How could he do this? Does he hate me that much to make me move, again?! True we had been in Virginia for 6 months for it was _only_ 6 months. I want more. He can't do this! _

_I pulled out my cell phone and tried dialling his number. I made some mistakes but, finally, I managed. It rang only twice. _

"_Bella?" His voice was wonderful to hear, it calmed me like nothing else, well, maybe his touch. But it sounded a little sad. Before I could ask about that he must have heard my sniffle. _

"_Are you okay?" His concern calmed me even further. It made me sure that there was at least one person out there that cared about me. _

"_No, I'm… not." I managed to get out and took a calming breath. _

"_What's wrong? Please tell me." I breathed in and out for a few seconds, letting only Edward penetrate my mind at the moment and I could talk semi normally again. _

"_Can I see you? It's really important." _

"_Are you hurt?" I shook my head, although, knowing he couldn't see it. _

"_No, I'm not hurt. Physically." My cryptic remark must have been enough. _

"_Meet me where we usually go, okay?" _

"_Okay," I said hoarsely and we hung up. We usually met at the beach, there's a forest near by and it's often little people around. No one knew about us I was sure, we hadn't gone out as a couple once. It was better this way, keeping it a secret. I was driving down the road that led to the beach. My eyes kept glazing over with tears and I would take them away with my hand, sobbing and trying to control my breathing. _

_I parked my car and got out. The cold evening air was dry and it was possible it would snow again. The ground was covered with a thin layer of snow, not enough to make the ground look like a cover but enough to freeze it solid. I stood there for a few minute until I saw his headlights. As soon as he was out his car, I was in his arms, sobbing but trying to hold it together, not doing such a good job. _

_He hugged me close, trying to calm me down and the only thing I could thin__k about was that in two days, or maybe less, I never knew with my father, I would be gone and probably never see Edward again. That only made me sob harder. _

"_Bella, please tell me what's wrong." His voice was soft, soothing. My head was buried in his chest and his sent made me think clearly, for the moment and I looked up at him. His hand was in my hair, calming me and it did help. _

"_We're moving," I said in a whisper. Edward just stood there, watching me with a blank expression. _

"_What?" He said and his voice was breathless, like he had been running for hours. _

"_Charlie told me today that we'll be moving in a few days. If he has his way we'll leave tomorrow." I was mad –no- furious. He couldn't just do this to me. To the one place I actually wanted to stay, he takes me away from. _

"_Oh," was all he said. Oh? OH?! That's all he says, OH?! _

"_What?" I say, my sadness being forgotten for the moment. "I say that we're moving, away, to Texas, thousands of miles away and all you can say is OH?!" I was angry now. Didn't he care at all? _

"_I didn't mean-..." He trailed off and I stared at him with raised eyebrows. He didn't say anything else and I backed away a little and he let me, his arms falling to his sides. _

"_Don't you care?" I ask and the sadness is back. He looked pain. Why did he do that? _

"_You know I do." And his voice is sincere. "But I just think that..." _

"_That what?" I was slightly dreading what he would say because somehow I knew. Not exactly what but I knew enough. _

"_I just think that __maybe this is the best," his voice was low and soft. I stared at him, like he was crazy. _

"_You think it's for the best?" My voice was nothing but a whisper now and I looked away from his face, I couldn't look at him. _

"_Bella," he tried to grasp my wrist but I jerked it to me and backed away from him. _

"_Why are you doing this?" I snuck a glance at him and his face was bowed, he looked so sad. I almost went over there, almost. Did he want us to break up? Didn't he want me anymore? _

"_I- I..." he stuttered and stumbled over the words, "I'm- I- I'm s-"As soon as I heard that s, I cut him off with a stare. _

"_Don't." I threatened, my anger returning 10fold. _

"_Bella..." He made a move for me and I backed away, backing into my car. _

"_I said don't." With that, I got in my car and drove home. Not once did I break into tears, that is, until I reached my bathroom. I crashed down to the floor and sobbed, bringing my knees brought to my chest. I didn't stop until I fell asleep and even then I woke up in the middle of the night, sobbing. _

"_He doesn't want me..." I kept repeating, nobody listening. _

– _End Of Flashback – _

Before I knew it I was seated in art class and I could feel a lump in my throat, remembering everything so vividly. I looked down at the desk, trying to hold everything in; at least I could get home before I would breakdown. My hands covered my face as I breathed in and out, controlling my breath.

"This seat taken?" I looked up and none other than Alice Cullen stood there. I gestured towards it, silently telling her it was free. She sat down in silence and soon enough, the lesson began.

We were supposed to just draw, today. Nothing major. I liked to draw; I was kinda good at it, if I should brag. I usually drew places I've been and I settled for the statue of liberty. Magnificent architectural building, the French had good taste. As I sniffed for, probably, the 50th time, Alice responded, looking up at her work.

"You okay?" I nodded but had to stop because I sneezed and it wasn't a quiet one and I groaned.

"Fine'd," I said, realising you sounded like an idiot with your nose clogged, what a shocker!! I heard chuckles coming from the table in front of us and I glared at their backs, whoever sat there. What?! They've never seen a person with a cold or ever had one, themselves? As I was about to reach into my bag for my tissues, one appeared itself out of thin air into the hand of Alice.

"Thanks," I said and my nose was so clogged up I could hardly breath, let alone talk. Although, afterwards, it felt a little better.

"You stood out in the rain willingly?" She was looking at me like I was crazy. I probably sounded like it.

"No. I mean, sorta. I kind of froze." She looked at me with raised eyebrows but gave up, for the moment, noticing that was the only answer she would get out of me. But a few minutes after silent drawing and my attempt to not get snot on my paper, Alice spoke again.

"So why'd you freeze, out in the rain?" She kept here eyes o her paper but as I didn't answer she looked up at me. I opened my mouth to tell a lie but nothing would come out and I gave it another try.

"I-… I was watching someone." Wow… I couldn't have sounded more like a stalker right then and there.

"Watching someone? Please don't tell me you stood outside the house watching?" I notice that there was a double meaning to the word. I hoped Alice hadn't noticed. But she laughed and I laughed with her, shaking my head.

"No. I'm not a stalker I was just." I sighed. "I don't know what I was doing." She took it as a sign to leave the topic, she was smart. The class drove me almost to insanity with its slowness and I felt tiredness take its toll on me. But class managed to end and I handed in my work. Our teacher studied the material for a moment and as I was walking back, she spoke up.

"Good work," I turned around, "Ever though of art major in college?" The question took me off guard.

"Ehm... no." I said with honesty. "I've never really thought about college actually." She nodded and I turned to leave again.

"Well you should, this is really good." I nodded and went to my desk. Alice was just in the mix of gathering up her things. I had a sneeze attack and sneezed 3 times. They do say 3 times a charm.

"Not to pride or anything," I looked up at Alice. "But maybe you should go home; sounds like you got one hell of a bug there." I was about to say I was fine but as I opened my mouth I sneezed again. I heard a nearby chuckle. I straightened up.

"Yeah, I probably should," I mumbled and then sighed.

"Don't worry. I'm sure they won't kill you for going home. Not when they see you." I offered a weak smile and a low chuckle which only made me cough. I did feel like crap and the thought of going home sounded wonderful. I got to my locker, emptying my bag of schoolbooks. The hallway was eerily empty. It was always creepy to see a school empty of its students. It was like a ghost town. Almost. I slammed my locker closed and behind the door stood a figure. I shrieked and my back slapped into the lockers.

"Sorry, sorry," he said soothingly. I put my hand over my head and bend over a bit.

"You know, this is how people have heart attacks." He clucked but only once and apologized again.

"Why aren't you at lunch?" he shrugged his shoulders and replied.

"Not hungry. How about you then?" I rolled my eyes but the movement hurt and I took my hand to my eyes, rubbing them.

"Actually, I was ordered to leave. Apparently I don't look so good," sarcasm wasn't working well for me being sick and having to mumble.

"By who?" He was teasing me, again. And I liked it, too much.

"Your sister in fact." He went quiet then and asked.

"Why would she tell you to go home?"

"We have art together. I was sneezing like crazy." I don't know why I added that last part, it would only make him laugh at me but he proved me wrong. He looked nothing but concerned and I could do nothing but believe his expression. I desperately wanted to believe that he cared about me; I knew he didn't, not in the way I wanted at least. I tore my eyes away from his perfect green ones and looked down at my shoes.

"I have to go," I said small. I turned to leave but he grasped my left arm, holding me in place.

"Wait," his voice was hushed. I looked at him expectantly. But he sighed, closed his eyes and let go of my arm. I stood there for a moment, unsure if I should leave or what.

"What is it?" he looked up at me and then above my head, then shaking his.

"It's nothing, Bella. You should go, you don't want to get more sick." I was confused, immensely so.

"Are you okay?" I asked, I really couldn't help it. Seeing him even remotely sad was so against nature, someone so gorgeous shouldn't be sad, ever. I wanted to erase the sadness. He offered me a smile but it wasn't genuine.

"I'm fine Bella." I studied him for a moment and then nodded, leaving him standing at my locker. I got a last glint of him as I turned the corner. He wasn't looking my way; he was leaning against the lockers, pinching the bridge of his nose. I stood there for a while but when he pushed himself off, I left.

The cafeteria just let out a bunch of people, all having eaten. I trudged my way through the herds of students as the main door was on the other side of the crowd. As I got loose I made for my car, almost running.

As I got home I wasted no time. I shoved off my shoes, got up the stairs, got in my room, shoved the bag somewhere into a corner and collapsed on my bed. It was slightly cold and I loved it, I embraced it. I, absentmindedly, removed me of my jeans, sleeping in jeans was not my idea of comfortable. I managed to find my pyjamas pants without even watching. I got them on, slipped under the covers and shoved my head under there, shielding it from the light that came though the closed blinds.

It only took a moment and I was gone into oblivion.

**AN: ****What do you think? Come on; give me some reviews! You know I LOVE them! ****I have already started with chapter 10 and hopefully, it will be up sometime ****tomorrow or maybe today but I wouldn't bet on it too much. **


	10. Oblivion

**AN: First of all: some of you are confused as to why Edward said what he said in the flashback scene and I promise that it will be explained and all. I think I'll do some EPOV later on to make his opinion heard. However, I don't know when that will happen but I promise it will, just hold tight. And I'm sorry; I said I'd have it up by yesterday but I was watching House and well… it's house, I can't just skip it xD **

**I want reviews! They make me happy and let me know I'm doing a good job! Pwetty pwetty pwease?! **

_Oblivion_

_I was walking down a street I didn't know. I knew I had to be somewhere but I didn't know where I was going. I didn't even know the time or date. The street reminded me of those in Manhattan. This was much like my other dreams but still, not even close. _

_As said, I was in Manhattan, it seemed, with no people on the streets which was just disturbing. Having you ever been in any part of New York, you know something is wrong when no one is walking around or even driving. No cars were in sight. There were shops but they all seemed to be closed but they had no products in the windows either. Steam lit the streets and the blue sky that once was turned dark in a matter of seconds. No stars were available but there were a light, must be the moon. _

_I stood there, all alone, on the empty street, searching for something. Some sign that another human being was around. It disturbed me. There wasn't even a sound from an alley cat running through a dumpster, in search for food. There was wind blowing, ruffling my hair in front of my face but that was it. I turned around, making the wind blow the hair out of my face and I faced another alley, (shocking huh?). _

_The once empty street was gone. I was standing on pavement, shaped as a circle. All around me were alleys. I knew this game, it was so easy. All I had to do was find the right alleyway, walk through it and find my way out. But how would I know which one? There were a total of 7 alleyways. No one looked better than the last one but no one looked worse either. I took a chance and picked the one right in front of me. _

_I ran in and was yet again revealed with two choices, right or left? I took a left and ran and ran. A fem more turns, which I had nothing to do with but were there by nature, I saw a way out and ran for it, praying I would get out of this soon. But the sight I was greeted with did not satisfy me. I was back in the circle. _

"_What the fuck!" My voice was strained with effort to breathe, let alone talk, at this point. I, yet again, felt like crying. I ran all that way for nothing? What was going on? I looked around, walking in the process and making my head spin. I didn't even know which one I had just walked out of. Frustrated, I tried a different way, I hoped, at least, that it was different. _

_After I'd run around in, what seemed like hours, I was back at the circle again. I didn't know weather to cry with tears or cry out with my voice in frustration. I tried another way; it led to the same circle again. I tried another one and then another one and they all lead to the same circle. Of course, I could have been walking through the same one over and over again, I could never tell. But the odds were too small for that to happen, right? _

_I went to the middle of the circle, sat down and basically gave up. I told myself I wouldn't get up until someone came or I woke up. I don't know how long I sat there on that pavement. It could have been hors, could have been minutes, I could never tell. It wasn't cold or warm or wet, it was just there and kind of hard to sit on. I had brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs. I looked up and the scene had changed again. _

_The alleyways where still there but in front of me were a new one. I knew it was new because it was larger, wider and shorter. I could see the end of it. Feeling confused, I got up and stared walking. The way towards the end seemed longer than what I had been running previously. The wind picked up, shoveling my hair in my face. I sputtered out some hair which had gotten in my mouth. _

_It was like looking into a whirlpool or black lining on the outskirt. Outside was the, for lack of better word, dead exterior and inside was… I don't know. As I got closer I heard something. He, she, it, I didn't know what or who it was but something and somewhere was calling my name. _

"_Bella." The voice wasn't forced or in any way threatening. In fact, the tone was soothing. It felt like I was having an out-of-body experiment. _

The next thing I knew I was in my bed, my eyes sapped open at the call of my name. I groaned softly and rolled over to face the person who had woken me up at such a bad time. My father. I felt my brown wrinkle in confusion.

"Dad? What are you doing home?" he sat down at the side of the bed, an act he had not done before, sighing. He's never been the father that many kids grow up to. And now he chooses to start acting like one?

"I just got home from work and you didn't answer me when I called." He looked genially concerned.

"I was asleep." I stated the obvious and he nodded.

"Don't you feel well? You're not that heavy of a sleeper." How would you know? I wanted to respond. I sat up, rubbing my eyes when seated.

"I had to go home from school. I got a really bad cold from yesterday's rain." I said honestly.

"How do you feel now?" I thought about it for a moment. I did feel better. My nose was slightly burning but it always got like that after a cold, I had a headache but it wasn't as bad as before.

"Better," was all I responded. He nodded again.

"You feel well enough to eat something?" I almost laughed. He only did this because he wanted me to cook? My father might have many shills within his job but when it came to cooking he was a loss cause. He almost burned down the kitchen when making fried calamaris. Why he would even want that at 10 am is beyond me.

"I guess," I said, I wasn't that hungry, "I'm not really hungry though."

"You should at least try. You're too skinny Bella." He said it with real seriousness and concern. "Much more than you used to be." He added and he wasn't teasing me like a family member might be towards each other. He was generally concerned that I wasn't feeling well, and I'm not talking about my cold.

"Fine," I resigned with a sigh and got up. My father left my room and I put on a thick sweater and went downstairs.

Eating was a slow process for me today. My body didn't want any of it but my father continued to force it down my throat which only made me more nauseous. We sat, the both of us, in the living room where some show was playing, I didn't pay attention for when I'd eaten up, I went straight back to my room. I checked my temperature again, still no fever.

I slumped back onto my bed and as I shifted my head to the side, I noticed my phone was shining, like when someone had called or a text message. I grabbed it and flipped it open. It was from Edward.

'_How you feeling?'_ I debated weather or not to answer.

What could answering him do, really?

Maybe I'll get into deep and he'll hurt me again.

But he seems different now.

But that's how he is. Charming and then breaks your heart.

But maybe…

I sighed and typed in a response.

'_Much better now, thanks.'_ I leaned down again and my phone was still in my grasp. I thought he would leave it at that but he'll always keep on surprising me, I guess. A few minutes later, my phone vibrated in my hand. But it wasn't a text this time. It couldn't hurt me to talk to him, right? I sighed again and opened it but made no sound. He called, he should say something. He was quiet for a moment and all that cold be heard was his and my breathing.

"I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No," I simply said but then continued before he could talk. "I just ate. Charlie was practically forcing food down my throat."

"What?" I didn't know if he was concerned or amused, maybe both.

"Apparently I'm too skinny and need to eat more." My tone was annoyed. What did my father know about my eating habits and such? "I mean, until, I don't know, 2 weeks ago, he didn't car at all about me!"

"Of course he cares about you Bella," Edward said softly and I snorted a bit.

"He has a funny way of showing it." I don't know why I was getting so upset about this.

"Bella," he sighed and I knew what he was going to say.

"Was that all?" I hadn't meant for my voice to be so rude and I softened it a bit. "Did you just call to ask how I was doing?" I wanted him to tell me himself. If he had actually changed I wanted him to tell me and not me trying to force it out of him. I had been let down a lot before and didn't need it again.

"Would you believe me if I said yes?" I thought about that for a moment.

"Maybe," I said with sincerity. It was quiet then. None of us spoke.

"What are you doing Edward?" I asked with a sigh but it wasn't one out of annoyance, it was out of frustration and confusion.

"Why do you keep on asking that?"

"Because you won't answer it." Now it was annoyance. Was it that hard to say anything? Have any kind of emotions… something?

"I- I don't know." He finally said and I couldn't take it anymore. I snorted.

"Fine," I said stubbornly and hung up. I turned off the phone, preventing him from calling again. I was still tired, though I didn't know how. I had been asleep more than half the day. I rolled onto my stomach and found I was suffocating myself by my pillow. Annoyance washed over me again and I turned my head, willing sleep to come, to make me not think about Edward Cullen for my moments of unconsciousness.

_The dream was different this time but I was still in the maze of brick buildings and running, like a crazy person. But I was running in one direction, there were no sideway alleys to get lost in, there was only the long and narrow. __But then, there was a voice. _

"_Bella." I was sure I had never heard the voice before; it was like it was muffled and made to sound fake. I didn't know if it was a he or a she who spoke. In a way, it wounded like both. It reminded me of people speaking out in TV but afraid the killer or rapist or whatever might recognize them, they don't show their face and you don't get to hear their real voice. It sounded just like that. Huh? I didn't know my subconscious was that creative. _

"_Bella." The voice said again and it sounded like a question, more than a statement, like it wanted me to answer. _

"_What?" I sounded insane. I had stopped not and was searching the nearest are for any lead on who the person talking was. I didn't see anyone or anything, just the same alley with the buildings of bricks and no windows. _

"_Bella," it said again and I was loosing my patience now. _

"_What?! What is it?! Who are you?!" the voice chuckled once and it was the kind of chuckle that sent chills down your spine, like drawing nails on a blackboard. I started running again and the voice chuckled louder, I ran faster. But I never got to the end, the road stretched on for miles and miles. __Then, there was that sucking I had been feeling. _

_It was like I was being sucked back like a huge fan was right in front of me, pushing me backwards. But there was no fan; there were barely any wind at all. I couldn't feel any wind on my face, yet I was being pushed back. I stayed like this for quite some time. I barely moved forward now, the pulling was too strong. Then, I felt a hand on my right shoulder and I whirled around, but there was no one there. _

_The pulling had stopped and I felt no wind what so ever. In front of me was not the alley, it was something else. _

_It was all like a movie. The camera is focused on the main character and is slowly turning around to see what he or she is looking at with such big, confusing eyes. The images slowed down and when the "camera" was turned I couldn't see. It was all black. I could feel myself, in the dream, whirling around frantically, searching for something, some kind of proof that I hadn't gone blind. I knew I had seen something before everything went black but I didn't remember. _

_I knew I wasn't afraid of it. It wasn't like the figure that have stalked my dreams for so long, it was something else, but what? I was still looking around, feeling at my head for something that might be the cause of my momentarily blindness. But there was nothing, no extra dark sunglasses, no blindfold, no nothing. _

_I stopped my moving and stood still as a rock. I breathed with caution, listening to my surroundings. It seemed as if I was in a warehouse of some sort. Maybe in one of the brick buildings. There were no windows, there was no light. I sighed in annoyance. If this was a dream, I wanted to be wakened, this was ridiculous. _

_But I wasn't wakened. I continued to stand there for what seemed like… I don't know… hours? Minutes? Seconds? There was no way to tell. I huffed in annoyance to this game. _

"_Getting bored already Bella?" It was the same voice but I could make out more of it. It was guy, man, boy, whatever, it was a he and he was very close. I didn't answer as I wanted to listen if he would make a move towards me. I didn't hear him approach but soon enough I felt him. Not physically but I could tell he was behind me. I heard his breathing, it was even and controlled. I didn't head his feet on the floor, for I was sure there was in fact a concrete floor, I felt that too. _

"_Don't be like that Bella." The voice said and he was closed. But how could that be? He must have had to walk to get closed to me but I swear I didn't hear any shoes clanking on the floor. Maybe he wasn't wearing any shoes. He then was close enough that I could feel his breath on my neck and the contact made me shiver, for an unknowing reason. _

"_Who are you?" I asked and my voice was breathless. He was closer now, I felt him behind me. I definitely didn't want to awake now. _

"_Wrong question," he murmur-whispered and his mouth was at my left ear, he breath fanned out on my cheek. _

"_Then what's the right one?" I asked in the same tone as he. _

"_Only you know that." It felt like as if he was leaning over me. _

"_What kind of answer is that?! I asked with annoyance clearly visible in my voice. I felt him chuckle but hardly any sound was made. I heard his breath closer; it was right at my neck! I stood more paralyzed than before. My heart was so loud I swear he heard it. I felt his hands now in my shoulders and I tensed. If he'd wanted to hurt me I would have been dead a long time before. But he only put his hands on my shoulder and seemed to me leaning in closer, like that was possible. _

_I felt his head tip ad his nose graced my yaw and his breath was warm on my neck. I closed my eyes out of reflex to the sensation and feeling he had over me. I didn't even know who he was! But his voice was so familiar; I could swear I have heard it before. After the longest time of grazing my yaw with his nose he answered the question I asked. _

"_The only kind of answer I can give now," the cryptic remark left me reeling but I didn't have time to think about it. I felt his lips at my neck and as soon as they touched my skin my eyes shot open and I woke up with a jolt. _

I sat in my bed panting for breath but it wasn't when I had woken up the other times. I had never gotten that close to the figure haunting my dreams. I suddenly felt a wave of annoyance wash over me. Oh why had I woken up?! I wanted to continue dreaming. I told myself I only wanted that because I wanted to find out who he is. But I, somewhere, knew that was a lie.

I was still tired but noticed that my headache was gone, well, pretty much gone anyway. I lay back down and looked up at my ceiling for a few moments before my eyelids became too heavy and I closed them and rolled to my side, clutching the pillow I always did and felt into another slumber, which wasn't plagued with anything but darkness and oblivion.

**AN: What do you think? ****Reviews! **


	11. Shock

**AN: ****Let me know what you think in a… wait for it… review! Excuse my spelling and grammar. I only had patience to read through the whole thing one time but if it is a lot of mistakes, tell me and I'll change it as much as I can. **

* * *

_Shock_

I woke up to a semi-normal state. The throbbing in my head had seized. The clogging of my nose wasn't completely gone but it was better, I could, at least, breath. Deciding I needed a shower, desperately, I trudge to my bathroom and turned on the water, making it almost painfully hot. Having been in the same clothes for so long and falling asleep three times, I couldn't not shower after that.

The smell of my shampoo, honey it said on the bottle but had a bubble gum mixed scent, filled my nose and it smelled divine. The warm water worked like acupuncture on my back, relaxing my of the tension that had been forming. My neck was craned; it hurt to shift it too much.

I got dressed in my most comfortable jeans with wide legs, a black tank top and a white sweater with buttons in the front. I got downstairs to find some food, I was famished.

My breakfast didn't nearly take as much time as I'd like, not even 15 minutes. I finished the sandwich in the kitchen after reading a note from my father, explaining why he wasn't home, something with his job. I never really paid that great of an attention to his work. After that, I was completely and utterly bored.

The minutes went by in complete agony. I don't think I'd ever been that bored in my entire life. Well… there had been moments but never as dull as this. To occupy my time, I rearranged my closet which only took about an hour and I didn't have little clothes either.

I got some homework done but when that was finished I relaxed back in my chair and sighed heavily. It was never this boring in the city. There was always something to do. I would be surprised if a lot of the places here aren't open yet. I mean it was only… 10.30?!

I groaned and prolonged the wining sound. I can't believe I was actually looking forward school now. I missed the city. I missed the subway, I missed Starbucks. Oh god how I missed Starbucks! My chocolate chip frappuccino, I could probably kill for one of those now. I haven't had them in probably a month and that is simply way to long. I brought the laptop back to my bed and put one some music in iTunes. Huh… OneRepublic it was.

_This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us _

_It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust _

_I've got my heart set on anywhere but here _

_I'm staring down myself, counting up the years _

_Steady hands, just take the wheel... _

_And every glance is killing me _

_Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead _

I plopped down on my stomach, listened to the lyrics and forgot everything else. It was strangely relaxing even though the sound was practically at it's top limit.

_Stop and stare _

_I think I'm moving but I go nowhere _

_Yeah I know that everyone gets scared _

_But I've become what I can't be, oh _

_Stop and stare _

_You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there _

_And you'd give anything to get what's fair _

_But fair ain't what you really need _

_Oh, can u see what I see _

_They're tryin to come back, all my senses push _

_Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could... _

_Steady feet, don't fail me now _

_Gonna run till you can't walk _

_But something pulls my focus out _

_And I'm standing down... _

As the music flowed through my ears I heard, in the distance, knocking. My eyes snapped open and I sat up, turning down the music, making sure I was right. There was another knock. I turn off iTunes and closed down my computer and made my way downstairs, the knocking had seized and I silently hoped the person had left. But then there was another knock, not as hard as the others but still there, I sighed. I wrench opened the door, mentally cursing whomever was there but most of my thoughts stopped as I saw who was standing there.

"Edward?" My voice was one of surprise but what would you expect?

"Hi," he said in a low voice but I heard him clearly.

"What are you doing here? And how'd you know my father wouldn't be here?"

"I didn't," he said, ignoring my fist question.

"And what would you have done, had he been here." He seemed to think about that for a moment.

"I didn't know. Lied, I suppose." I nodded and we stood there, watching each other. I open my mouth to speak but he cut me off.

"Come with me," the statement cuts me off guard and I shake my head.

"What?" I ask incredulously. Perhaps I'd heard him wrong.

"I want to talk to you,"

"So talk," I say but he shakes his head.

"Not here."

"Why not?" He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Is it that awful to be alone with me and talk?" He raised his head and I, not knowing what to answer kept quiet but made a few attempts but always closed my mouth before any words could escape. He nods to himself.

"Okay," he says and turns around and walks across the porch.

"Wait," I say disbelief in my tone, he turns around, "You come all this way and then leaves, just like that?" I raise my eyebrows. He pursed his lips in a fake way of thinking.

"Yeah," he then turns again and now I know what he's doing. I sigh heavily in annoyance.

"What do you want to talk about?" He had reached the bottom steps of the porch and he turns around again.

"Does is matter?"

"You're the one that came all this way."

"It's not that far," he teased and I roll my eyes. I bite my bottom lip and think. What does he want? To say everything he said was a lie and he wants me back? Do I want him back? I don't know. The truth was that he could probably break my heard a dozen times and I'd still want him. He's till standing at the bottom of the porch looking at me and I sigh, closing my eyes.

"Fine."

Were driving down a road. There are hardly any cars on it. It wasn't the freeway which was probably why no one wasn't really driving there. The air is free of rain today, shockingly, but the clouds were darkened, it would most defiantly rain later, I sighed.

"So where're we going?" I ask after a long time of silence. Smirking, he replies.

"Do you really need to know?"

"Yes," I answer directly and he chuckles.

"Always so inquisitive," he mutters. I'm not sure if he was intended on me hearing it but in the small confidence that we was in, there really was no way for me not to hear it.

"I don't like-"

"- surprise." He finishes for me. "Yeah I know." That's all he says and I huff. "It's not like I'm going to drive off and kill you," his voice is much too teasing and I glare at him, although he has his eyes glued to the road.

He continued driving down the road and then took a left. The road was smaller now. Like it was out in the country. After we'd been driving for about 40 minutes, or so, the car slowed down and came to a stop at the side of the road. There was nothing to be seen except for the pavement and trees, loads of trees, everywhere.

"You brought me to the forest?" I asked incredulously. Edward got out of the car and came around to my side, opening the door and unfastened my seatbelt. He offered me his hand to get out and I took it. The electricity was there but today it was different, it was like it was charged an extra 1000 volt or something. I let go of the hand but I noticed that he had noticed the change too and so I changed the subject.

"What are we doing here?"

"Hiking," he noticed the horrified look on my face and quickly continued, "Not for long, it's barely a kilometre." I breathed out in relief.

"Where're we going?"

"You'll see." I looked at him with pursed lips. He sighed and started walking, raking a hand through his hair, the motion caught me off guard and I couldn't help but stare and I shocked myself as I really, really wanted to run my fingers though that gorgeous hair if his.

"When we first moved here," he started as we made our way through a path on the ground, "I really didn't like it. I mean, it's not like rain is the worst thing ever-"

"Speak for yourself, "I interrupted in a mutter to which he chuckled.

"But," he continued, "I got really bored one day, shockingly it wasn't raining and I just took a drive and winded up here."

"In the woods? That was one crazy drive." He chuckled again but shook his head.

"No, but to where we're going, you can't exactly drive." He finished mysteriously with left me intrigued.

"So cryptic," I said teasingly and he smirked at me. True enough, the walk on the path only lasted for 15 minutes or so, I wasn't really timing. We got to the end of the forest and were overseeing the ocean. It was beautiful. It was a very, very small cove. There was no sand, only stones, bigger the closer to the water you got. The water made small waves and even though it was blowing, the water here was so sheltered that it was barely disturbed by the winds out at sea. I didn't think places like these existed in the state of Washington.

"Wow," I breathed, doubting Edward heard me. I turned to him and raised my eyebrows. "Found this place on just a drive, huh?" There was no way he found this place just by driving and accidentally walking down the path here.

"Fine," he sighed "I walked, a lot."

"Why would you go into the forest for a walk? You could have gotten lost or something. Everything looks the same here, all green. So much green." I only whispered the last part. It was true. Everything was green around here. Although, beautiful in itself, still confusing. But he only shrugged his shoulders and even though I knew he wasn't telling me something, I let it go.

"What is it you wanted to talk about?" I asked softly but he remained silent and walked to a near rock and sat down. I followed and sat down next to him. We remained there in silence for a few moments before Edward spoke.

"It's nice here, don't you think, calming?" He was looking out over the ocean.

"Yeah," I answered in a breathlessly low voice. "It's is. But so is rest of town isn't it?" My voice held a sour tone in it.

"You don't like it here." It wasn't a question but a statement and I nodded.

"It's quiet, too quiet."

"What do you miss the most." I thought I heard a double meaning in the question but he continued like there was none. "About the city, I mean." I shrugged my shoulders and thought it through.

"I don't know. I miss that there places open practically 24/7. I miss my old friends sometimes." He nodded and now I had to tease a bit. "I miss Starbucks." He laughed at my last statement. The laugh filled me with something I didn't know I missed and I was going to add it but that road was way too dangerous right now. I really missed that laugh, the one that would have me laughing along with him.

"But the driving and honking and fumes, I can't say I miss that. Why do you ask?" He didn't answer me directly. He simply shrugged his shoulders. The wind blew up a bit and ruffled my hair, most of it coming in my eyes and mouth. I spluttered it to get it out. I head a chuckle nearby and I finally managed to free myself of my hair prison. I glared at him but my cheeks flared in embarrassment and I turned my head away from him.

It was probably 2 seconds later that I felt his hand under my yaw, guiding it his way. The intensity of his eyes sent butterflies through my stomach and I swallow with a gulp. His thumb made small movements on my chin and it looked like he was about to say something but my lips parted as I noticed how close we really were. His eyes diverted themselves and fixate on my lips and then back to me eyes. As I saw him lean closer to me, I started leaning closer to him. I knew I wanted to kiss him. Who wouldn't? But there was a part of me, however small it may be, which told me this was not the time. Just as out lips were a centimetre away I diverted my face and turned away from him completely, getting off the rock.

"I can't do this," I said, though my voice low, he heard me. He got up and made me turn to lock at him.

"Why not?" He asked softly.

"I just can't," I could feel tears wanting to come but wouldn't, I wouldn't let them fall, not here, not in front of him. I shifted away from him again and remembered how he had hurt me before. I knew I wanted to be with him but is that really what he wanted with me. To be with me? Although I might take him back for almost anything, I would never forget him much he hurt me before.

"You think that," he began softly but cut himself off. I turned and looked at him.

"What?" I was so glad my voice didn't crack as I had suspected it would. He seemed to be stalling, probably thinking if he really should tell me.

"You think you could ever trust me again?" It was the one question I didn't know. I wanted to, desperately. But I didn't know if I actually had the ability to trust him and so I answered him truthfully.

"I don't know," my response was soft and in no way to be hurtful but his face was pained and he turned away from me. "I want to," I spoke softly, "But I don't know if I can," He nodded and walked down to the edge of the water, just staring. As I stood by him, none of us talking, the clouds above us thundered and we both looked up at them. I saw, out of the corner of my eye, Edward's eyes looking my way but I stared straight ahead. it would be much more difficult if I looked at him.

"I'll take you home," he said softly and I nodded. "Wouldn't want you to get sick again," he teased and the corners of my lips twitched.

"No we wouldn't want that. I just retained my breathing function." He snickered and we stared walking back to his car. As we were at the outskirts of the forest, the sky opened up and the rain, literally, pored down like the shower nozzle. We ran the rest of the way, practically shovelling ourselves into the car and slammed out doors closed.

"Wow," I heard Edward breath out and it was my time to chuckle.

"Still don't think rain's the worst thing ever?"

The drive back was in silence. It was awkward at some times but I mainly stared out the window, watching the rain droplets splutter downwards. There were some more cars on the road but not many. The town seemed deserted, almost. As drove up to the driveway, three cars stood three instead of just two.

I saw my father's car. I have always thought it was the completely wrong car for him. It didn't fit him like cars usually did to the driver. It was a Mazda hybrid. It was a dark, military green color that took up most of the exterior. The under exterior was a pitch-black. It looked more like something a soccer mom would have and not someone working in the military. But it was his choice.

I also saw my little blue hybrid, parked next to my fathers. But the other one I had never seen before. It was a sleek black Mercedes. Nothing more I could see, except hat it must be very expensive. I felt my head shift to the side in confusion. Edward turned off the car but I didn't move, still watching the black Mercedes.

"You know who that is?" He must have picked up on my confused gaze.

"No idea," I spoke softly, turning towards him and he smirks.

"Maybe he's on a date," I shiver at the thought. It's not like my father couldn't date, he could date whomever he wants, but he didn't have to do it at our house. What happened to dinner?

"That's a frightening thought," I say and he laughs and I laugh with him. The feeling is so normal, like there's no complication what so ever. I sigh and Edward becomes quiet. I opened the car door but Edward stopped me, grabbing my left arm, making me turn around to face him.

"Wait!" And I did but no words escaped him. We looked each other straight in the eyes for an uncountable amount of time until the old on my arm lightened. My arm fell limp into my lap but I remained seated. After a few seconds, I stepped outside.

"Thanks. For today, I mean." He nodded, a small smile playing at his lips and I smiled back at him and closed the door softly. I may not be ready just yet but I desperately wanted to. He drove away and started for the house. I didn't hear anything from inside. No music, no talking, no nothing. I slowly made to unlock the door but it was open.

"Char- Dad?" I called out with no response. I hear voices now and feet stomping my way and my father came into view. He looked mad – no – pissed was more like it.

"Where have you been?" He asked. I took of my jacket, stalling a bit.

"I was out with a friend." I said innocently, technically not lying.

"Why didn't you pick up your cell phone?"

"I didn't have it with me. Dad what's wrong?" changing the subject seemed to make Charlie less mad. I was glad he didn't press on who I was with. He took my arm rightly but it didn't hurt and brought me to the kitchen. I saw, through the vault to the living room, someone sitting on the couch. It was a woman and she turned around. As she saw me she stood up and looked straight at the both of us.

She had short brown hair, quite skinny, wearing expensive clothes and golden jewelries. I looked back at my father who was looking at everything and nothing.

"Dad." I said slowly and he looked at me. "Who is that?" I jerked my head towards the woman in the living room.

"Bella," my father said slowly, like I was 5 years old. "This is…" he trailed of and before I could urge him on she spoke.

"I'm your mother."

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**AN: Cliffhanger! Good, bad? Give me some reviews. It's not so tiresome to write "good story" or "can't wait for next update" or "it sucks!" But it's your choice.  
I will star with chapter 12 today i think and hopefully, it'll be up sometime before thursday but i can't promise anything. **


	12. Unexpected

**AN: I should warn you now; since this is a long one, I have only read it once and that was enough and my spelling and grammar must suck so bear with me people. **

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Unexpected

**BPOV**

I stood frozen, literally. I wasn't breathing, blinking or moving for several seconds and when my eyes started to burn I blinked, breathed and moved my head to clear it. I turned towards my father but he wasn't looking at me. I couldn't think. It was true? As I was about to demand my father explaining this, why the woman who abandoned the both of us was here, in our home, she spoke.

"I know this must be a shock-" I snorted and shook my head which stopped her talking.

"Shock?" I looked up at her. I thought I would feel sad about meeting her or joyful, cry on why she left and she'd say she didn't have any choice and it was for my own good and I'd be upset but then later on I would forgive her and as time grew, she and my father would reconcile and we would all be one big happy family. That was not the case now. I was mad. How dare she just show up here?!

"Shock is an understatement," I said in a slow voice, not being able to properly find it. I walk up to my father and whispers to him.

"What is she doing here?" But in this the house, being as silent as it was, she heard it.

"I wanted to see how everything was going." She came closer and stood right by both my father and I now. "I wanted to see how _you_ were doing." I was mad again and it must have shown on my face because she tried to put her hand on my shoulder, in a comforting way, but I shrugged it off, backing away from her.

"So you leave for 17 years or so and _now_ you come back to see how I'm doing?" She ducks her head and I hoped to God she was feeling guilt as hell.

"I know," she started and I knew what she was going to say but I couldn't make myself stop her words, "this must be hard for you and you don't know me-"

"No," I said, "I don't know you and you want to know why?" She didn't answer as it was obviously a rhetorical question. "Because you left and you didn't give a shit what happened to me or dad." My father had been quiet until now.

"Now, Bella. You don't have to yell-"

"What?!" I stared incredulously at him and he looked sternly at me. "She leaves, comes back after nearly 2 decades and you just takes it? Just like that?!"

"Bella," my father told me. His expression was stern but there was something underneath it that I didn't recognize, "if you'd like to sit down, Renée wants to-"

"No I don't want to sit down! I don't-"

"Bella!" My father rarely yelled at me in this type of way. There were the occasional things that he disapproved of but he had never really raised his voice like this to me. "Sit down and listen to what she has to say. Let her explain." It was obvious he wouldn't let me leave until _Renée,_ even my mind spat at her name, had spoken. But I stomped over to the couch and sat down. As _she_ was about to sit down next to me, I move away to the armchair. She seemed hurt by what I'd done. Good.

"I'm here because…" She seemed to have some difficult talking and my father stepped in, like the backstabber that he was. He came closer to my chair.

"Your mother wants-"

"She's not my mother!" I interrupted and _Renée_ looked down at her shoes, probably in shame. But my father spoke as if I hadn't interrupted.

"To be connected with you. To know you and be a part of your life." I could hardly believe what I just heard. I stared incredulously at my father and then at the woman sitting on the couch, known as my _mother_. It hurt just to think that.

"What?" I asked breathlessly and I felt tears in my eyes. Apparently, _Renée_ took that as a good sign, like I was actually thinking about this, oh boy was she wrong. She smiled at me and sat closer on the couch. I found myself leaning away but this time, she didn't get the hint.

"Bella," she said sweetly and her hand came down on mine which was on the armrest. I quickly pulled it away from her and kept it on the seat cushion. She didn't respond to the gesture and ignored it. "I just want to be in your life. I want a chance to get to know you."

"You're a little too late for that, don't you think," I could feel tears wanting to be shred by I inhaled through my nose to keep them from falling and to force me not to do anything rash, like hitting something, or someone.

"Bella. Please," she pleaded but I saw nothing good in getting her into my life. She left once before and I'm glad I was young enough to not remember her. Who would want a mother who just abandoned them and now suck it up and show herself? I knew that if I let her in my life now and she would leave again, I would be devistated.

"I said no before and I say no now," she looked hurt but not enough for me. If she'd really cared, enough, she'd be in tears right now because her daughter, ung! it hurt to think that too, don't want to see her again. "You just left," I was yet again on the verge of tears, "And I'm glad I don't remember it. It saved me a lot of tears," with that, I rose from the chair and stormed to my room, despite my fathers protest. I shut my door with probably enough force to break it, luckily it didn't. I did, however, lock it. I knew my father would storm in. If not now, then later, after _she_ left. She had to leave.

I was near hysterics as I paced around my room, thinking about nothing and everything. How could she just show up here after 17 years and expect me to…? She left! She left both me and my father and while he is fully ready to forgive her for leaving us, I am sure as hell not. I don't think I could ever do that. I laughed humourlessly. No wonder I had trust issues, or issues at all, for that matter.

And nothing of this mattered as I could still hear her downstairs, talking to my father! I collapsed on my knees and I ignored the twitch that came with the impact. My face was buried in my hands and I pulled them over my hair, to make the hair push back. I took a deep breath and held it as I listened to what they were speaking downstairs. It's kind of hard to hear anything when your breathing faster than a matrathon runner.

I didn't hear any specifics, nor did I hear any yelling. Why wasn't he mad about her being here? Just then something started to dawn on me. Did he know she was coming? Did he actually give her consent on coming here? My hands left my head and I slowly turned it to look incredulously at my door as I continued on hearing the both of them downstairs. Their voices were more muffled now and from time to time, they were quiet. I knew she hadn't left, her car hadn't moved, I hadn't heard it.

I knew my father couldn't see my, now, glare which was fixed on the door but it didn't matter. She must have gotten in contact with my father somehow and she obviously didn't break into the house. My head turned down to my knees and I felt tears fall. I really couldn't trust anyone now, although, for entirely different reasons.

I knew one thing clearly; I couldn't stay in this house anymore. It didn't matter if _she_ was still here, if _she_ left, _he_ would still be here and I didn't want to deal with him now. I slowly rose with the help on my bed and I sat on it. My legs felt numb. My whole body felt numb and yet, I could feel everything.

I got up, though it took some time to loose the light-headedness. That done, I got to my cell phone and turned it on, I had 5 missed calls. I didn't bother to even look if they were all my father's. I opened my door as silently as I cold, knowing they didn't hear me and poked my head out. Soft voices came into my hearing.

"I just don't know what to do," I heard _her_ voice say.

"I think… I think she might need time. Bella can be stubborn but in time she'll see that-" I couldn't hear anymore of it. I didn't want to think about what my father and _mother,_ I spat the word internally, talked about and _thought_ they knew about me.

As I could obviously not walk out of here, down the stairs, I'd have to be creative. Getting down from the balcony would prove to be difficult. There was only one way to get down and that was down the tree. The only problem was that in order to get into the tree, I'd have to freaking jump several meters. Okay, over exaggeration, but it wasn't like the tree was right by the house.

Luck wasn't really on my side today. As I had so little knowledge and experience on how to get down a tree, I only managed to hold myself on the branch I grabbed and then I fell down. It wasn't long but the impact still hurt like hell.

"Fuck," I cursed at the pain which shot through my leg. I clutched it tightly to my chest, it seized and I managed to get up. I still had my car keys in my pocked and I ran to my car.

I had never driven that fast before, I think. The gravel on the road turned to dust. It wasn't black outside but it wasn't light either. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't know anyone here except the few "friends" at school but I doubted that we were close enough for me to come and stay the night, to; cry my eyes out? I didn't know. They'd probably sell me out in a second. The tears had subsided but I could feel them dried on my cheeks, but I could feel more wanting to fall.

I had only been driving for a short amount of time but I pulled over to the side. I didn't want to be upset about this. Not about _her_ anyways. MY father was another story. I don't even know her and I'm shedding tears because of her? Shaking my head I came to a conclusion, she couldn't have this affect on me. She wasn't my mother. She could never be my mother and she never would. I picked up my phone to check who had called. True enough, 4 of them were from my father, from today when Edward and I had been at the beach. The fifth, however, was from Edward, yesterday evening. Must have been after I turned it off. I had one new message ad I checked my voice mail.

"You have one new message," the voice on the phone commented. But as the beeping went off, I heard nothing. There was breathing, that I could hear but no words were spoken. He obviously knew I'd turned off my phone, but why wasn't he speaking? About half a minute later and a lot of sighs, his phone went dead and I dropped mine, looking at the screen.

I knew who I could go to. I knew that he wouldn't shove me away. If he really wanted me to trust him again, he would not push me away. I scrolled down in my phone book until I found his number and dialled. Two rings went by before someone picked up.

"Hello?"

"Edward?"

**EPOV **

During the drive home, my mind fluttered to Bella. She said she doesn't know if she can ever trust me again. Just that made my heart break, how sappy it may sound. I know why, of course, she can't. That night was probably the worst night of my life. How it pained me to see the pain that I caused her, to see her that day in school and have her shock of seeing me. She could barely even speak to me that day. She would want an explanation. She hadn't asked why I told her the things that I did. Even if she did, I could never tell. It wasn't my choice to say it; I never wanted it to happen like that. I never wanted it to happen at all, period.

I pulled up to my house, parked the car and got out. The house was quiet. As I knew my mom and dad wasn't here, the house was extra quiet. As I trudged my way up the huge staircase which led to the second floor, and my room, a voice halted me to a stop.

"Edward," I froze and turned around. I had expected everyone to be out.

"Alice," I said back in acknowledgement. I turned to leave, down the hall to my bedroom but she continued to speak.

"Where have you been?" It was slightly accusing and as I'd never been good at lying to Alice I turned around and avoided the question.

"Why do you care?" She crossed her arms and looked at me straight in the eye, like she as trying to read my mind.

"You're my brother," she simply stated.

"You've never cared this much before on where I have been during the day." That was true and she didn't _need_ to know everything.

"Why is it so hard to say where you were all day?" She was getting impatient. She was one minute away from putting her hands on her hips and glare at me for not telling. She was way too nosy for her own good.

"It's not. I was just out with a friend. Is that a crime?" My voice was overflowing with innocence but she didn't let it go.

"No," she said and continued with, "A friend, huh? Who?" She was treading dangerous water now. I had been through this before. Why did she have to push it?

"No one you know." With that I made to leave but this time she stopped me by pulling on my arm, making my turn around. I looked down at her with raised eyebrows.

"What is it Alice?" My tone was annoyed and it wasn't a fake annoyance either. She searched my face for something, what, I didn't know.

"Were you with-" she started but I cut her off. Now was not the time to be confessing things.

"Alice," I said sternly. "We talked about that, just let it go." She huffed in annoyance.

"I just think-" She was about to protest but the doorbell rang and she looked towards its location.

"Expecting someone?" I asked and she turned back towards me.

"Jazz. We're gonna watch a movie. We _shouldn't_ be _too_ long." She emphasized shoulden't and i shuddered, struggling to get the images floating though my brain gone. That was just too much and I'd need therapy for the rest of my life. She was my sister for Christ sake.

"Have fun," I said unenthusiastically and left for my room.

"Oh, I plan to," she said and it was a shot to make me cringe, obviously for not thelling her.

"Thanks for the image Alice, "I growled and closed my door.

I plopped down on my back, on the bed and closed my eyes and prayed that oblivion would take over. I desperately tried not to think about Bella and what she said today but it was a loss cause. Her words came back to me in her perfect voice.

"_I don't know,"_

Those words cut through me but they still brought some kind of joy through me. She didn't know which meant that she could trust me again. If I was willing to show it, which I was.

_"I want to. But I don't know if I can,"_

I groaned and pulled a pillow over my head to drown out the voice but it was to no vain and the words flittered thorough anyway.

I never thought about why I had said what I had said. I never even thought of the reason behind it. I knew it, of course, but It didn't matter anymore. What's done is done and I can't take that back. But I sure as hell can make it better in the future. I pulled off the pillow and threw it away. The room was dark, only the light from outside was lightening it up.

It wasn't really late enough to be bedtime but I supposed that didn't matter. After moments of painfully awkward silence, yes I was still alone, my phone rang. I sighed deeply and grabbed it from my back pocket. I didn't even look at the screen to see who it was, but opened it with a flip and put it to my ear.

"Hello?" The voice, that perfect voice, to which I was greeted, I was not expecting.

"Edward?"

"Bella?" I was confused as to why she would be calling me, and now of all times. She didn't say anything directly and I got anxious. I heard her sniffle in the background and now I was truly concerned.

"Bella. What's wrong?"

"I just… I needed someone to talk to… and I don't know anyone in this _stupid_ town and…" She stuttered over her words and I could hear she was about to cry.

"Bella– Bella slow down." She stopped talking and took several deep breaths. "Where are you?"

"Uhm… on a road?" I chuckled.

"Do you know which road?"

"No. I don't know. They all look the same to me. Stupid small town." She only muttered the last part but it didn't stop me from chuckling. "Can you stop laughing?" I could hear some amusement in her voice but it was overweight by sadness and I stopped immediately.

"Sorry. Just… come here and we'll talk about whatever's wrong. Okay?" I heard her mumble an okay and I gave her directions. It was a bit difficult. She'd have to learn the town soon enough. After a few moments I heard a car outside, but no knocking. I was about to go and check it out when I heard a faint knock on the front door.

**BPOV **

I parked the car a little way down from Edward's house. But I didn't go out immediately. At first I started freaking out. What if his family was home? What would I say? _'Oh hi. I dated your son, brother when you guys lived in Virginia and now my mother, whom left when I was a baby, by the way, showed up out of the blue and I really need to talk to Edward because even though he broke my heart, I trust him more than my own father.'_ Yeah, that'll work fantastically.

I took a deep breath and got out. I hadn't seen the house before and when I did, I was literally blown away. I mean, I knew they were loaded but this is just… I had no words. The house was three stories, from the outside and judging by the windows by the foundation, there was a basement also. It wasn't the traditional square shaped house.

The windows were tall and lean; they reached from floor to ceiling. It looked like there were windows everywhere but yet you couldn't see enough into the house. It was entirely in white concrete, it faintly reminded me of the buildings in Greece. There was a small porch with nothing on it. The second floor was smaller than the first and the thirs was shaped like the second. The entire house was beautiful. The lights were on, but not everywhere. There were only two cars that I could see and from what I knew; the entire family had one each. A waste to have so many if you asked me.

I walked across the lawn and up the steps. I knocked on the door and wondered if the sound was to faint for him to hear but my question was answered a few seconds later. The door creaked open and there he stood.

"Hi," I said in the most pathetically sad voice.

"Hi," he said back and I could hear the confusion. He stepped aside and I walked in, muttering a thanks and mesmerized, once again by how utterly beautiful the place looked form the inside. We were in the foyer/hallway, whatever. There was a staircase to the left, after a vault which I believed to be lead to the living room. The lights were off but I thought I could make out a flat screen on the wall. The floor was marble white and the walls were a soothing blue. Behind the staircase were two French doors, possibly to a dining room or a bedroom. Next o the French doors, to the right, were another vault but here the lights were on and it was the kitchen.

I looked back at Edward who had just closed the door.

"Where's your family?" I asked to have a reason to advert my eyes. The house was quiet and I knew no one else was home.

"Out. Emmet's at Rosalie's and I don't question that," He grimaced and I chuckled; you never really wanted to know all the specifics with Emmet. But one name left me confused.

"Rosalie?"

"Emmet's girlfriend. He met her once we moved her. Her brother's Jasper. Alice's boyfriend." I nodded in understanding.

"Bella," I looked up at him, "What's wrong?" I took a deep breath but as I was about to speak, nothing came out.

"I- It's…" I sighed. Why was it so hard to say? "I needed someone to talk to because everything is just… completely messed up. And right now I trust you more than my own father…" I stopped talking after that, realising I must make no sense at all. I felt my eyes water up and a sob broke through. "I just-" but I didn't finish as Edward wrapped his arms around me in a comforting way. It took me a moment to respond, before, I was frozen.

After a moment, I responded and let his arms comfort me and my own arms wrapped themselves around his waist.

I don't know how long we stood there but it couldn't have been long. I had buried my head in his chest and his scent relaxed my brain. I sniffed once more and then moved away, he let me. He brought his hand to my cheek and wiped away some tears.

"Better?" He asked as he took away the fallen tears but new once was right around the corned, just waiting for reason to be shed.

"Not really," I sniffed and looked up at him. He nodded and brought his hand to my shoulder, gently pushing me forward.

"What are you doing?" I asked and he halted.

"You want to stay and talk here? In the hallway?"

"Oh," I said stupidly. He chuckled and I looked at him in confusion.

"Still that horrible to be alone with me?"

"No," I answered immediately, it wasn't. It was comfortable. "I never said that and if you didn't notice, we're already alone." He rolled his eyes and we began to walk up the stairs. His room was farthest down the hallway.

His room was big, bigger than mine, naturally. The walls were white and floors were a beige wooden colour, like in the hallway. The most distinguish, when entering, was the piano in the corner. I knew that piano. It was the same one he had back in Virginia. I heard the door close behind me and I went to the couch and sat down, running my hands through my hair.

"Bella-"

"My mother's here," it was all I said and he immediately silenced. He was still standing by the door as I looked up and I could feel tears waiting to fall down.

"What?" His voice held disbelief. He knew all about my mother, all I had told, anyways.

"She was just there and she just…" I was breathing harder and faster and I had to stand up. Remembering her intentions weren't leaving my mind either and my temperature seemed to spike. I didn't hear him move but suddenly, Edward was in front of me and he put his hands on my shoulders and forced me to look at him. His thumbs made light circles and it made it harder to listen to him.

"Bella. You need to calm down." I took several deep breaths and ran my right hand through my hair again. "Just… take it from the beginning," I nodded.

"When I came home, my father was pissed I didn't answer the phone and when he had dragged me to the kitchen, someone else was in the house, a woman. She said she was my mother," tears were falling down but Edward made no move to remove them. "She said she wanted to be a part of my life." My voice was angry now but the teas still fell. "Who does she think she is? That she can just come here after 17 years and _think_ that everything will be fine if she just explains and then what? Be the perfect mom who bakes cookies? Become Martha freaking Stewart?!" I was pacing again and I found it easier to cope if I got it out. Edward was sitting down now and carefully watching me. After I'd paced, swore a bit, in several languages, and gotten all the tears out, I collapsed next to Edward on the couch, my elbows on my knees.

I buried my face in my hands, still leaning my elbows on my knees. Edward had been silent through my rant and I briefly wondered if he thought I was insane. After I'd raised my head my phone rang. I jumped at the sound and took forth the object.

_Charlie_ it said. I sighed and pressed _busy_. I didn't want to talk to him but I didn't want him to send FBI looking for me.

"Bella," I heard Edward sigh and knew what he was going to say.

"I can't talk to him Edward. Not now."

"But-"

"No!" I said more forcefully than intended and I softened my tone. "He took her side. He thinks it's a good idea for her to come back into my life." I shake my head at the thought. "I can't go back there tonight." I started knawing on my thumb nail. Edward took my hand away.

"You're gonna chew you nail off," he said and I grimaced. He couldn't let me have this one privilege?

"No," he said then and I look up at him in confusion. "You can stay here." I arched my eyebrows and he chuckled, getting up and walking to a dresser. "It wouldn't be the first time you even slept over."

"No," I agree. "But what about your family?" I asked. He momentarily forgets the dresser and walk to the door. He locks it.

"Problem solved," he said and went back to the dresser. I got up and stood behind him. I must have surprised him for he jumped when he turned around and I chuckled.

"Here, you can sleep in this," he handed me a sweater and some old sweatpants. I nodded.

"Bathroom?" He pointed to a white door. Hmm... bathroom in the bedroom, convenient. I went in and closed the door. My face was a mess, I noted, when I stood by the mirror. Eyes puffy and my cheeks were flushed. I sighed and washed my face with ice cold water. I redressed and went back out.

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**AN: Wow! So this is the longest I've written and**** probably the longest I'll ever write, just a heads up!  
Now… Review! (Please!) **


	13. Shit Happens

**AN: I know it's a small one but honestly, I don't really have the time to write any more and it's gonna take, probably, a week before I can do my next posting. School is brutal now, literally, the teachers are confusing and I get confused about that so on and so on, it's all very crazy!… but to relieve you of my problems…. On with the story…. **

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_Shit Happens_

**BPOV **

As I came out of the bathroom, Edward was placed in front of the couch, placing sheets and a pillow on- I shook my head, but he couldn't see me.

"No," as I said it, he turned around and looked at me with arched eyebrows. "I'm not gonna make you sleep on the couch. It's uncomfortable. It's better to sleep on the bathroom floor."

"Thanks," he said sarcastically, I pretended not to hear him.

"I'm still not making you sleep on the couch."

"Bella. I'll take the couch and you take the bed," but I continued to shake my head. "It's your room."

"So?" He didn't wait for my answer. "Its fine, Bella."

"I'm not letting you sleep on the couch Edward. I think we're grown up enough to share the bed, well…. Sorta anyway," he smirked at that. "I'm just going to feel guilty if you sleep there." I pouted and he groaned softly, I knew I had won.

"Fine," he said. Wow, was it that terrible being close to me? "But remember, this was your idea," I rolled my eyes.

"Like I could forget," I teased. He brought back his pillow and threw it onto the bed.

"You hungry?" I had to think about that. Was I hungry? I hadn't eaten in hours and my stomach was slightly aching, but yet, I didn't want to eat, and so, I shook my head. I knew he was about to protest and I cut him off before he could even begin speaking.

"Can't we just go to sleep?" I walked over tot eh bed and flopped down, staring at the ceiling. "It's been along day." That wasn't a lie. It had been way too long. I heard him sigh and watched as he walked to the door. For a moment I though he would simply walk downstairs, bring up food and force me to eat but he flipped the lights off and then came over and lay down next to me, on the left side. I rolled over to my side and shut my eye, willing for oblivion to come, but it never really did.

I felt fatigue but not sleepiness. It must have been as I knew Edward was only, like a meter away. So close I could practically feel his body heat. I was tense, too tense. If I didn't relax soon, I would surely wake up, or not, with a sore neck and that would just be icing in the cake now wouldn't it. I sighed quietly.

"Bella?"

"Mhm?" I mumbled/sighed.

"Don't be mad, but," I rolled my head to get a better look at him and my body rolled with me. He was lying no his back with his head inclined towards me.

"But?" I prompted. I don't know why we were speaking in suck hushed voices. His family couldn't even be home yet. But it felt nicer talking like this. He hesitated before speaking.

"Come on." I encouraged, "I promise I won't be mad."

"Why are you so set against letting your mo- Ren- _her_ into your life?" I almost smiled at his stuttering, his attempt not to make me upset. I wouldn't have been mad at him, even if he'd called her my… ugn… _mother_. He was waiting for my response and I collected myself, as to not yell out.

"Because," I started but that was obviously not enough for an answer. "Because she… she just left. Just like that. without even caring what happened to me or my father. Not once has she called and not once have I seen her. No matter what a DNA result may say, she'd not my mother and never will. I'm really glad I don't remember it. I can't really miss someone I've never met, right?" He didn't answer as he pondered this.

"But you do miss her," he said. It was a stamen and I was appalled that he would think I could even like someone like her, let alone miss her. I sat up straight and he followed my every movement with his eyes.

"What?" I ask breathlessly. I made my legs entwine like pretzels and he sat up on his elbows.

"I just mean that-"

"I _don't_ miss her!" I was speaking louder, but not louder than normal speaking voice. He sat up like me now. He tried to put his hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off and he leaned away a bit. I immediately felt guilty.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Then how did you mean it?" My voice was still rude but it was more hushed.

"You don't miss _her; _the actual person but the figure." I got what he said now and couldn't find anything to say it wasn't true. "I'm sorry," he said later, "I didn't mean to make you upset." That was worse than guilty, there were no words. I groaned small in protest.

"Don't apologize," I said. "I shouldn't have gotten so upset." I lay back down but he remained seated, not looking at me. I watched him for several seconds but he just sat there.

"What?" I asked after several seconds. He didn't answer but I heard him mumble something. I sat up closer to him, my legs clutched tightly to my chest; I still had a winch when I bend my left knee too much. The fall from the tree didn't help the matter. He noticed and immediately changed the subject.

"What's wrong with your leg?"

"Um… I couldn't go out the front door so I…" I trailed off, worrying if I sounded insane.

"Jumped?" He finished, staring at me incredulously. Even through the darkness I could see his raised eyebrows in amusement and concern.

"No," I said but with no conviction. I felt my cheeks flare and I thanked God for the darkness. "I jumped to the tree and then fell." I could see his shoulders move in a way to hold in his laughter. I hit his shoulder, though it probably hurt my hand more than him.

"Shut up," but my voice held as much amusement as his but he didn't stop. He was probably picturing it and that made me blush harder.

"I didn't… say… anything," he prompted forward, desperately trying not to laugh. I then heard him snort once and that was enough for him to fall back, snickering.

"S-s-stop laugh- laughing," but I was on the verge of laughing as much as he was. I hit him on the chest but he just grabbed my write and I struggled to break it free. I hit him again on his stomach, which definitely hurt my hand more than him. He had stopped laughing and his shoulders were only slightly shaking now. He looked down at him with the best glare I could muster; obviously it didn't work as well because another chuckle escaped him.

"Don't be mean," I told him and he chuckled again, "It hurt like hell," I pouted.

"Aww… I'm sorry," sat up and I glared at him. It's like he was talking to a child. He then did something I never expected and left me breathless, literally. He bent down his head and kissed my left knee. He felt a surge of heat rush through my entire being. It's easy to forget why I wasn't demanding him to kiss me now. He obviously didn't sense my tensing; for he flopped back on the bed.

"I think you'll live," he said, teasing and sarcasm dripping from his voice. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, well obviously." I was leaning on my left arm whilst he was laying back, his arms crossed behind his head, the picture of ease. But then I remembered why he had changed the subject.

"Nice try in changing the subject," I said and he just arched an eyebrow.

"What?" I sighed

"Come one Edward. You're a horrible liar."

"That's not true," he said with a smirk. Cocky prick.

"Fine," I sighed, "You're a good liar. Now… tell me why you changed the subject." He stayed quiet. "That horrible?"

"No," but I could tell he was lying. I didn't say anything to incline that he should continue talking.

"I said you should," huh?!

"I should… what?" he sighed and removed his arms from around his had, scratching something on his head. He did this when he was nervous, and run his hands through his hair. His gorgeous- no! Focus Bella!

"You should be mad. At me, I mean," I knew what he meant, "Pissed, even," he continued and sat up, leaning against the headboard, i looked intently to the foot of the bed and my eyes started to burn and I realized I hadn't been blinking. I brought my right and up to rub my eyes.

"You okay?" I nodded.

"Yeah. Forgot to blink." I heard a breathless chuckle and looked up at him.

"Why did you do it?" It looked like he stopped breathing and blinking, too, for that matter. "Why did you say that? Why are you letting me stay here since you obviously don't care-" I was cut off by his hand. He put his right hand over my mouth and the other hand at the back of my head, silencing me. His left hand, slightly, wowed itself into my hair and I almost closed my eyes at the sensation. It felt good, too good. He shook his head and sighed, closing his eyes and reopened them. But he didn't release me.

"First of all," he says and I barely hear it as I am too aware of how close he is and I can feel his breath on my face which only makes me dizzy, "I do care about you," he continues and sit still as a stone, "I care. A lot. So much." It looked like he was struggling with an internal dilemma. I take my right hand to his who's covering my mouth and pulls it down so I can speak, but I don't remove it completely.

"Then why'd you say it? Did you mean it? That it was the best thing, for me to move away?" My voice was low, whispered but most of all, sad. He has a look of pain on his face and yet again looks like he's facing an internal dilemma. "Is it so horrible for me to know why?" I asked after a few seconds of silence. At that, he responds. He shakes his head frantically.

"No. no, no, no. It's not. You should want an explanation. You should demand one, in fact."

"But?" I knew there was going to be a but. There always is.

"But I don't know if I can tell you. Not right now." His hand, the one previously covering my mouth slid down from my face but the other one remained intact, I made no move to remove it or tell him to. His fingers flexed a bit which caused for heat to rush through my entire head. My cheeks flushed again and I was thankful for the darkness. None of us said anything. The only thing that made any sound was our breathing. It was heavy and low but not an "I just had a two hours hot make-out session" kind of heavy.

The hand he had in my hair moved down to my throat and his thumb made small circles on my yaw, moving it to my lower lib. I had to concentrate hard on breathing and not making my lip tremble. The intensity of his stare penetrated me and I think I even stopped breathing. My lips came apart slightly and he gaze were fixed on them. I saw him hesitate but I didn't pull back now. I didn't want to. I'm not sure if I truly trusted him but I was willing to try if he was and he seemed like it. My heart was racing and it kept beating faster and faster the closer he got. But just as we were about to touch…

_**BANG**_

What the…?! I jumped, probably 10 feet at the sound. Both our gazes, I presume, as I couldn't see Edward right now, were glued to his door.

"Edward!" A voice yelled through the house. I thought I was close to a heart attack.

"What the hell was that?" I asked breathlessly and Edward made a nice between a sigh and a groan.

"Emmet," he muttered and I looked at him incredulously.

"Why is he yelling?"

"He's insane?" I chuckled, closing my eyes and trying desperately to bring down my racing heart. "I'll go… sea what he wants," Edward climbed of the bed and left he room. I wasn't exactly sure if I should be sitting here, on his bed. I mean, Emmett could come though he door at any second but all I could think about was Edward. He had been so close and then his stupid brother (sorry Emmet, but really?!) couldn't keep it down for 3 more seconds. I sighed in frustration and plopped down on my back, closing my eyes in the process.

**BPOV **

I closed the door after I'd gone out. What the hell is wrong with Emmet?! Have he ever heard of quiet, or sleep or I was just about to kiss the most beautiful girl that is sitting, in my clothes, on my bed and I'm very sure she would let me kiss her. I really wanted to rip Emmet apart; it's nothing he wouldn't deserve at this point.

I walked down the stairs to find Emmet in the kitchen, eating… well… everything he could.

"Edward!" Emmet bellowed again and I wondered briefly if that would cause permanent brain damage to be yelling so loudly.

"What the hell Emmet?" He looked at me with raised eyebrows. He looked over me and laughed.

"You were sleeping?" I nodded.

"I have a headache and you just made it worse. What are you doing home? I though you were with Rosalie."

"Oh I was," he wiggled his brows and I shuddered at the image."But there was a party and so we had to go," of course they _had_ to go. "I'm just home to change." He started walking up stairs and I followed out if the one in a million chance he would actually go into my room looking for… something.

"You coming?" He mumbled, his mouth still stuffed with food and I sighed.

"Headache, Em. Remember?" He stopped in his search and looked at me.

"Since when has that ever stopped you?" He asked incredulously.

"Since now," I didn't like how this would be going.

"You know," he stared after he had buried himself in his closet in search for clothes, "I think this town is bad for you." I rolled my eyes.

"How so?" I asked, encouraging him.

"You used to love to party and all that and then we move here and it stops completely."

"It's a small town Emmet. There's not much to do," I said in a obvious tone.

"Whatever," he grumbles and gets out, sighing. "You're still changed."

"Bye Emmet, "I say and go back.

BPOV

I heard the door open and Edward quickly came through.

"I'm sorry about that. Emmet can be-"

"Emmet?" I finish and he chuckles. He locks the door again.

"Yeah. It's hard for people to understand that we share the same DNA." I laugh.

"Yes. It is." I'm still lying down and he sits down where my feet are. I move my feet, laying them in his lap. He flexed his fingers which caused my foot to twitch. I saw his lips twitch and he held my feet put.

"Edward," I said warningly but he didn't listen, "I swear I'll kick you in the face."

"And how will you do that when I'm holding your feet?" I didn't have time to answer and he started ticking me and I could hold it in. I squealed, trying to kick my feet free but he was too strong.

"Ed- Edhwh… Edwhard… ssto- stop it…" I tried, desperately, to make a full sentence but it was to no use. My stomach hurt with the effort to laugh. At some point, I don't know when, his tickling had gone to the sides of my ribs and I squirmed, trying to get away whilst screaming/squealing.

"Okay…. Okay," Edward said and he stopped. I was panting now. He was slightly hovering over me, his hands on either side of my ribs. I felt the mattress change and knew he was about to roll over. But I didn't let him. Before he could even acknowledge what I was doing I moved. I didn't think, I just acted and forgot about control and everything. I looked him in the eyes and brought his mouth down on mine.

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**AN: I'm not sure I liked this one; the EPOV is what I'm not sure about but still. ****But you are the judges! **


	14. Fog & Steam

**AN: Longer one this time. There will be an EPOV in here, in the end, I'm still not sure I really like it. I mean, Edward has to have an opinion but I'm not sure I manage it quite well. ****It could be because I'm a girl. But if it really sucks, this will be the last EPOV in this story. **

* * *

_Previously...  
Before he could even acknowledge what I was doing I moved. __Just like ripping of a band aid__, I told myself and I wrapped my right hand in his hair and brought his mouth down on mine_.

* * *

_Fog & Steam  
_

**BPOV **

The minute our lips touch, something in me clicked. It felt _right_. I could tell I took him by surprise but after about 2 seconds with our mouths intact I felt him respond and we moved in synch. It felt so right to do this. After months and months of not kissing him, this was pure heaven. I knew that if he would tell me he didn't want me anymore I would surely break but the way that he was making a simple kiss into a full blowout make-out session, he wouldn't do that.

My hands knotted themselves in his hair and as I gently tugged at it, a small moan escaped his lips. His left arm was still pinned to the bed, but his other was gripping my hip. My shirt had ridden up a bit and his thumb made aimless movements there, driving me crazy. I groaned at the sensation and started feeling dizzy, I had forgotten to breath. That wasn't the first time. I, reluctantly, pulled away from him but Edward didn't waste any time. He continued across my yaw to my throat.

I was panting heavily now. He was kissing my throat so hard it would leave a mark, which was okay by me, very okay. As his teeth graced my throat I moaned, loudly, and closed my eyes at the sensation. I bit my lip as to keep me from screaming out, it felt so good. Sinfully good.

"Edward," I said in a cross between a sigh, a moan and a groan. He growled in response and I yanked his head up, bringing his lips back to mine. He accepted willingly. Our tongues battled and I was getting dizzy again, but not because I wasn't breathing, though, I wasn't really doing that anyway, but it was his _taste_. He tested like nothing I could describe, the closes I got was mint tic-tac. His hand went up a little further under the shirt. He's testing and as I make no move to stop him, it goes a little further up. He has his hand on my stomach and the feeling sends butterflies running through me and my stomach tenses under his touch and I'm sure he can feel it. I still make no move to stop his torture.

He mouth moves lower and his teeth gaze my collarbone, making me hiss in pleasure. He takes the hint and continues. He has to almost rip the shirt to gain access but I'm not complaining. I would let him leave marks all over my body and rip any kind of clothing he wants if he could just continue. My right hand is gripping his hair, forcing him to stay at my collarbone and the other is at his back, clutching at his shirt, for lack of anything else to hold on to.

"Bella," he says right under my collarbone and the vibration makes me moan.

"Mhm?" It was all I could muster in response between my gasping and moaning.

"We should stop," I heard the reluctance in his voice but all I could think was; stop?! I groaned in disapproval. I knew we should stop but I was selfish enough that I didn't want that. But in my defense, he made no move to get off me.

"Mhmm," is all I respond. I bring his head back up to me but this time; move my lips cross his yaw and onto his throat. He groans and I continue tasting and teasing him. There was one special spot, right by his ear, and every time he would groan. As if on cue; he groans. The sound electrifies my entire body.

"Bella," he says and I can hear the restrain in his voice. "We have to stop." He breaks free and rolls over at my side. We're both panting and my entire being feels like it's on fire. My chest moves up and down rapidly, due to my accessing breathing but I'm not one bit sorry about it. He's panting as bad as me and I ca see how he fights for control. Do doubt, had it been back, all those months ago, we would not have stopped and it would have only been a major plus if his family wasn't home.

He rolls his head to the side, looking at me and I look back. He's searching my face for something and his eyebrows are scrunching up, like he has something to say.

"What?" I ask and my voice is quite pathetic, if I actually cared. It was between a whisper and a pant. He opens his mouth to speak but as his first word escapes, a loud crash is heard.

"Bella-"

_CRASH__! _

"Shit!" Someone says and my best guess is that they or he or she, whoever it is, must have broken a vase or something. Can't they see or turn a light on?

My heart missed a beat and I felt hyperventilation come over me again. I look back at Edward and see him pinch the bridge of his nose, frowning and shaking his head, mumbling something I could not hear clearly. All I could pin point was "insane people."

"Is anyone in your family normal?" I ask, a little teasing, but only a little. I see his smirk before the chuckle comes and he shakes his head.

"No. Not really." I ponder that.

"You include yourself there also?" He looks up at me with the same smirk and shrugs his shoulders.

"Yeah…. Guess I do." I smile at him. "And they have no real respect for other people, well, not when it's before 1 a.m. on a weekend." I was going to say something back but an embarrassingly loud yawn escapes me and I can feel my cheeks flare. He chuckles and brings me closer to him. I don't protest and he wraps his arms around my waist from the behind.

"Sleep, Bella," He says in his smooth voice and I am soon enough just that, asleep.

I woke up to a bright light. I glanced out though the window but it was just light from the fog. I sighed in annoyance but felt a pair of arms wrapped securely around my waist and they tightened at the sound of my sigh. Then, everything that happened last night came crashing down on me and I felt my heart rate speed up a bit, but not in panic. The only think I could think about was Edward and I and that brought a smile to my face.

But what did this mean? Did I trust him now? Completely? I was still kind of on the fence. Everything he'd done the past week have made me trust him more and I didn't want it to be like I trust him too fast and then live to regret it. But I knew one thing, I was definitely too deep to not care if he told me he didn't want me again. He said he would, possible, tell me one day why he had said what he had said. But why, if he now knew, would he hesitate the way he had? I mean, there were a lot of shitty reasons to break up with me, many ridiculous, but why couldn't he tell me? Did he think I would get mad? I couldn't lie, if he'd told he broke it off because I was kind of a bitch that day, I would probably hit him and break his nose. But something told me that wasn't the reason. But I wouldn't push him on it. I knew how he thought and he would tell me in his own time.

Without moving too much, I reached to the nightstand to retrieve my phone. I turned it on and was immediately received with 3 voice messages and 6 missed calls, all from my father. I sighed again. As I tried to breath free from Edward's grasp, he pressed me closer to him and I smiled at that, but I needed to talk to my father, he could and probably would send the cops and that wouldn't be a good thing.

I broke apart the hands that clasped themselves in front of my stomach and slid away. I immediately missed the contact and his floor was really cold. I went into the bathroom and first got changed, not that I didn't like being in Edward's clothes, but I knew I must be getting home soon enough. I sighed and called my dad. 2 rings later, the frantic voice of my father, answered.

"Bella?!" He didn't exactly yell but it was loud enough for me to cringe away and hold the phone at bay. I slowly brought it back and answered him.

"Dad, calm down-"

"Calm down?!" He yells and this time it was enough to send a ringing through my ears. It was too early for this kind of yelling. I would get permanent hearing damage. "You leave in the middle of the evening and don't come home all night! I have no idea where you are or who you're with, you could have been dead somewhere!" I suppress a sigh and answer fast, before he could interrupts me again.

"Dad. I'm fine. I'm not lying dead somewhere." I dodged the question on where I was and who I was with. Before he could ask about that, I cut in. "And I did let you know last night that I didn't want to talk to you, I put the phone on busy."

"Don't get smart with me young lady," UNG! I hated it when he called me that. I'm not 5 years old!

"Now. I want to know where you are and who you're with." I gulped, hoping he wouldn't hear that and responded.

"I'm with a friend and I'll be home soon." Before he could say anything else, and I knew he would, I spoke one thing that I'd been dying to say ever since last nigh. "And _don't_ _you_ _dare_ think that you have any right to be more upset with me than I am at you! I'll be home soon." I hung up and grumbled.

"Un-fucking-believable." I sighed and raised the hand, with my phone still in it, to my forehead, holding it there, trying to think.

"What's wrong?" As soon as I heard it, I knew who it was, but that didn't stop me from jumping up and twirling around, almost loosing my footage. It was a miracle I didn't scream. I put a hand to my heart and panted a bit.

"Please don't do that." I could see the clear amusement in his eyes and the corners of his mouth twitched. Edward was leaning against the doorway and the look on his face was one of amusement and arrogance. I knew I probably shouldn't like the cockiness that was fumigating off of him but I did, a lot, probably too much.

He chuckled and walked to me. "Sorry," was all he said and his arms wound themselves around my waist and mine went to his chest, my phone still in my hand. We stared into each others eyes, how corny it may sound.

"I take it that it wasn't good news?" He murmured and I closed my eyes, dropping my head to his chest.

"No," I mumbled into him. I let my head shift and my ear was pressed against him, I could hear it heart. It was close to normal rate, a little faster, that made me smile. His arms rested around my shoulders and he squeezed me closer for a second.

"Sorry," he said again but now I didn't know why. I looked up at him with raised brows. But as I was about to ask him, his eyes, those green gorgeous eyes, fixed on mine and I got lost in them. I only managed to get out one small word, although I doubt it would even be called a word.

"Huh?" Bravo Bella! Excellent response! He smirked that crooked grin and I felt my knees go weak. How could he have this affect on me?

"I'm sorry he's mad at you." He stopped talking for a seconds and brought a piece of my hair, behind my ear. "Although, I can't say I'm too sorry. If all that shit hadn't happened last night, you wouldn't have come here." That seemed to sadden him, like he thought I wouldn't have "forgiven" him if _Renée_ hadn't shown up last nigh. I took up my hand, the one without a cell phone and made him look at me.

"No," I agreed and he looked even sadder, it broke my heart. "But," I continued, "it was only a matter of time before I showed up here, with or without your invitation." He smiled at me and I smiled back. He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him of with my lips.

He still seemed somewhat shocked but none the less, he responded. I felt my phone slip and I vaguely heard it make a _thump_ when it landed on the carpet. The kiss grew from sweet to rough in a matter of seconds and before I knew it, I was pinned to the counter. One of my hands was holding his head to mine and the other was shifting between holding him and the counter. I was debating weather I should jump up or stand put.

Edward answered my unspoken question as he grabbed a hold of my butt, which made me groan, loudly, and placed me on the countertop. I had missed this. Not just kissing him, although, nothing could compare to that, ever, but to be kissing him in his house, with his whole family still snoozing in oblivion.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, securing him there, letting him know that he should not stop. I would be seriously pissed, had he done that. While my hands grabbed a hold on anything they could within my grasp, which was his hair, which made him moan into my mouth, or his shoulders, or perhaps his arm or waist.

His hands roamed over my body. They were one second securely in my hair and the next they were at my hips, bringing me closer to him, even if it felt impossible to be closer to him than I already was.

I clutched his head to me and my lips smashed against him, none of us complaining. We had to make up for lost time. But his hands left my hips and for one seconds I actually thought he would pull away from me but no. He brought them to thighs, pressing them closer and making them wrap more tightly around him. I gasp, but it quickly turned into a moan. Our chests were smashed together and I felt complete, feeling all of him. A small whimpering sound escaped me and he swallowed it with greed.

One of his hands clutched at the small of my back, going under the shirt, making me gasp by the coolness of his hand and he started making silly movements, which was driving me insane. His other hand was still at my thigh and as he squeezed it, right above my knee, I moaned at the feeling and my leg started to tingle.

My moan must have been enough encouragement and he moved it up a little. I whimpered and moaned, all the same. I had to break free to breath but he moved down to my neck instead, sucking and at times, letting his tongue make contact with my skin, making it flush. My head threw back and I closed my eyes to the sensation. I had to bite my lips from either screaming or moaning out, too loudly. I would surely wake the entire house.

I yanked his head back to mine and we resumed kissing. His hand, which was still torturing my thigh, remained there and it left me a little frustrated. As if he could hear what I was thinking, that same hand started wiggling its finger and I gasped again and then groaned, but it didn't move upwards.

As I could feel that there was no more oxygen in my lunges, we broke apart. But he didn't attack my neck this time. This time he was panting as heavily as I was and we kept on staring at each other. I tried to swallow the excessive amount of saliva I had from watching his darkened eyes, but it came out more as a pant. I could easily have fooled anyone; saying had just run 11 kilometers.

I was still all too aware of all of him being pressed up against me. He closed the gasp between us and gave me one small peck and then moved back, but he didn't go out of my legs grasp. His hands left my back and thigh and grasped the counter instead, on either side of my legs. His eyes hadn't lightened in color yet and it only made me want him so much more than I already did. But I kept my hands on the countertop, tough it was a struggle.

"You should… ehm…" He stuttered a bit, trying to find control and I almost smirked at the affect I was having on _him_. He lowered his head and took a deep breath of air and then looked dup at me, his eyes was definitely lighter now.

"You should probably be going now?" It came out as I question and as I couldn't trust my voice, I only nodded. I released him and my legs fell limp on either side of him. He moved out of my grasp and helped me down from the counter.

"Thanks," I said breathlessly. I located my cell phone which was discarded on the floor and searched for my shoes, which I found by the door, and sat down on the bed and took them on.

It was only 6.30 in the morning and there was a good chance everyone was still asleep. We walked- or more like sneaked out of the room and down the stairs. Thank God he lived in a newer house so the stairs wouldn't creak with every move. The house was eerie when it was so quiet, but most houses are. But I managed to get to the front door and as I was on the porch, ready to descend, Edward caught my arm. I whirled around to look at him.

"Can you just call mw when you've talked to your father and all that?" His eyes were so pleading.

"Of course." I said in a soft voice. I planted my hand on his cheek and was going to peck him lightly but he had other plans. He brought my lips to his in less than a second. It wasn't as frantic like in the bathroom but it wasn't all sweet either. I heard him groan as he pulled away.

"Go," he said "Before your father calls the cops, or FBI." I laughed softly and jumped down the steps. It was still foggy outside and I knew I had to take it easy getting home, hopefully, not too many would be up and running at this time. I got to my car, prepared to drive home to the wrath that was my father.

**EPOV**

I watched as Bella drove off and then went inside, closing the door. My back hit the hard wood and I closed my eyes, sighing. I could feel my lips wanting to turn upwards and I couldn't stop the, probably, goofy looking grin which was not planted on my face. I didn't know if Bella truly trusted me, like before, but it was definitely a good start. Really good.

And God! It was so hard to pull away from her in the bathroom when all I really wanted to do was to shove her up there, on the countertop, and do all kinds of things to her– which I probably shouldn't be thinking about in the foyer of my house when any member of my family could just walk out of their rooms, at any moment. I pushed myself off the cold wooded door and walked slowly up the stairs, in no hurry at all.

"Alice?" I asked. The little pixie was sitting cross-legged on my bed, apparently waiting for me to come back. Had she seen Bella? Did she know she spent the night here? Her face was impassive and I couldn't read any kind of emotion coming off her, she was good at hiding her fillings and emotions from me. As I didn't know she knew anything, I played the innocent card.

"What are you doing here?" I went over and sat down next to her. Se pursed her lips, choosing her words.

"Okay," she said and I was instantly confused and she got off the bed, slowly pacing the floor. "I'm not sure how to say this, "I gulped, loudly, "so I'll just come out and say it, okay?" All I could do was nod.

"First a question," she looked at me, expecting an answer.

"Okay," I said hesitantly.

"First; why did I just see Isabella Swan leave out house at, "she checked the watch, "6:40 in the morning?" I didn't know what to respond and so I kept quiet, doubting Alice would.

"Secondly; was it her that you spend most of the day with, yesterday?" I kept quiet still.

"Thirdly; Why haven't you said anything about this to me?"

"Fourthly-" I cut her off, her voice was growing higher and higher and soon enough, she would be yelling at me and that would just draw unwanted attention.

"That's more than one." I said but she just scowled at me, not appreciating it. I sighed. "Fine!" I said and continued. "Yes, she just left because she stayed the night because she and her father got into a huge fight last night and she doesn't know anyone in this town." I could see she was about to answer but I pulled my hand to her mouth, silencing her.

"Yes to the second question. I brought her to a place I like to go to think. You know, where it's silent and you only have your thought and no overly nosy siblings, wanting to know everything all the time." Alice wasn't one for quiet places. Although, give her huge rooms filled with clothes and she wouldn't bother if it was dead silent or filled with screaming babies.

"And why I didn't tell you about this is because I haven't told anyone about this." I let go off her and she immediately attacked me with more questions.

"And why haven't you done that? Told anyone? Is it that horrible for people to find out or what?"

"No it's not." I only answered the last question but I had a feeling she knew more than she let on. As on cue, she voiced it.

"She lived in Virginia before? Didn't she?" I had not time to respond and she took my 2 seconds of silence as confirmation. It wasn't, though she wasn't wrong either.

"I knew it!" My hand flew to her mouth again, keeping the voice down. She shrugged out of it, talking quieter now. "I _knew_ I recognized her from somewhere." I sighed and that brought Alice ranting to a stop.

"Yeah well now you're gonna keep it to yourself." She looked at me with the most confused expression.

"And why is that? Are you ashamed of her or-"

"No!" I said it a little too loudly and cringed. "I'm not ashamed, ever. It's just-"

"Then why'd you keep it a secret?" I was about to explain when she cut me off again.

"And better yet. Why didn't you tell _me_. Edward, I'm your sister. We used to tell each other everything." I took a deep breath.

"Well if you'll let me finish a sentence, I might tell you. Can you do that?" She glared at me but remained silent.

"We kept it secret because of her dad. He's very…" I couldn't quite come up with the right word but Alice had it for me.

"Overprotective?" She was right. "Sorry," she added with her hands raised but I shook my head, letting her know it was fine.

"Yeah, kind of. I mean… not to sound too sad but her mother bailed on them when she was a baby and he hasn't always been there for her, never really been her father. Not the way we grew up, that's for sure. And besides… it was kind of fun, only the two of us knowing it." I knew I got a dreaming look o my face as I recalled good memories.

"Eeewww!" Alice drags out the sound and I laugh at her discomfort.

"And also. I didn't exactly have the best reputation in Virginia." Alice looked sadly down at me and kept quiet for a while.

"But still" was all she said and sat down again. "That's so sad." We were quiet for a while and I sat down next to her. "With her dad and all." I only nodded.

"What was their fight about?" I hesitated. Should I tell?

"I promise I won't tell. You know I wont if you don't want me to." I nodded and so I told her what had happened and also told her about the time in Virginia, minus some details, okay, maybe a lot of details. She's my sister after all.

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**AN: Now me friends! Tell me what you think….  
****And f****ret not! I think that in the next chapter, the truth will be revealed about Renée and why Edward said the things he said to Bella. ****And if there is anything special you want to happen or some characters you would like to see more of or anything at all in general. Don't hesitate to tell!  
****I've started with chapter 15 and i'm on a freaking roll and it will perhaps be up some time tomorrow. **


	15. Confessions

**AN: I'm seriously on a roll here! ****I **_**know**_** I should be doing homework but let's face it! This is so much more fun! **

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_Confessions _

It was difficult, pulling myself away from Edward, even his house was difficult to look away from. As I drove home, all I could think about was a replay of everything that happened from the time right before we went to sleep till… I looked at the dashboard… 15 minutes ago. I felt my cheeks heat up a bit and I tried, really tried, to think of something else, but it was a loss cause.

The roads were still foggy, it was kind of creepy. Like a ghost town or something. I shivered at the ridiculous thought of zombies here in Forks. Wait what?! What the hell am I thinking?! I must have had a flabbergasted expression and I shook my head. At least I stopped thinking of Edward. Ah, I sighed, _Edward_. I shook my head again.

I was on the narrow road which lead to our house. I kept thinking what I should say to him. I mean, if he knew _she_ was coming, why didn't he tell me? Did he really think that I would even _consider_ her coming into my life? If so, then he really doesn't know me. But then again; I already knew that. He never pays attention; he thought I was skipping school when it was Easter holiday for Christ sake! I know he's my father but does he really have to be so dense?!

I parked my car and looked up at the house. It was like it would swallow me whole. _Creepy!_ I looked to my right and exhaled a breath of air I didn't know I was holding in. _Her_ car wasn't there anymore. Maybe she took the hint and left, for good.

I felt like I was walking in slow-motion from the time I was in my car to when I was standing in the hallway. It was about 4 seconds before I saw my father, storming my way with a very pissed off expression. I kept my face impassive and he came to a halt in front of me.

"Where have you been?" He seethed and I stood there, quiet.

"Well? What do you have to say for yourself?!" I opened my mouth to talk but he cut me off before I could even get one word out.

"I have been worried sick! You could have died or gotten lost!" Okay now he was treating me like I'm 5, again!

"We went over this before dad," I said forcefully. "I'm not dead. I didn't get lost and I told you I was with a friend." Before he could say anything else; "And stop treating me like I'm a little kid! I'm not 5, dad!" I left the hallway and went to the kitchen. I was starving.

"This doesn't mean I'm not mad at you for leaving," I was currently looking through the fridge for something edible but at that sentence, I shut it close with too much force, the items in the door rattled together.

"And you think I'm not mad at you?! Huh?! Why was _she_ here last night?! Did you really think I would even consider letting her be my _mother_," I spat the word, "after what she did?! I heard the two of you before. What is it that you said? _She's stubborn but she needs time?_ Something like that?" My father stood still, quiet and I just looked at him with an incredulous look, letting him know I wanted him to continue.

"You need a mother Bella-"

"_I do_ _not_ _need_ _a mother!"_ I screamed at him, my voice was filled with venom. "And especially not one like her! She _left_! How can you defend her like that?! Do you want me gone? Do you want me to leave?"

I felt ridiculous asking this but I wanted him to talk.

"Of course not! I would never want you to leave. How can you think that?"

"What else can I think dad? You don't talk to me or answer my questions!" My voice was like acid but also sad. My father kept quiet.

"Did you know she was coming here?" I asked. For a few moments he stood quiet and that was enough for me. "And you didn't tell me," it was only a whisper but he heard.

"Would you have met her if I'd told you?"

"No!" My anger was back.

"See," he pointed out and I just looked at him.

"See what?! Of course I don't want to see her! I want _nothing_ to do with her! Can you understand that?! I don't care about her and don't want to see her! Ever again!" I could see he didn't fully understand but I let it go. My throat hurt from screaming.

"If you could just-"

"We're not talking about _her_ anymore," the venom was back but I was speaking much lower now. I opened the fridge again, searching.

"Fine!" My father exclaimed.

"Now you have some explaining to do!" I didn't say anything.

"Where were you last night?"

"I told you. With a friend." It was an automatic response.

"Anyone I know?" The way he said it suggested something. What exactly that was, I didn't know.

"No," It wasn't really a lie. I gave up my search for food in the fridge. "You don't." I left the fridge and searched the pantry instead, finding only pop tarts which looked like my best option now. I put one in the toaster and popped it down, setting it for 2 minutes.

"Really? You sure I don't know _him_." I froze and my heart stopped beating for 2 seconds, and then went into overdrive.

"What?" My voice was less than a whisper but I knew he heard.

"You heard me," my father said, his voice stern. I couldn't move, I could barely process this. He's emphasized the word "him" and, right now, there was only one thing it could mean. Did he follow me last night? I blinked and that was when I took control over my own body again. I turned around, slowly, to look at my father.

"What did you just say?" I asked, again in the same whisper.

"I asked if I knew _him_." He emphasized the "him" part again.

"And how would you know it was a he?" I asked, louder now.

"Don't play stupid Bella," He went to the kitchen table and sat down on a chair. But I couldn't move any more. It was a struggle to turn my head in his direction.

"Did you follow me last night?" He snorted, like that was ridiculous.

"Then how do you know it was a he?" I was mad now. Was he spying on me? Having people follow me? What?!

"I _know_," I stood confused and he kept talking. "I know about you and _Edward Cullen_." He said the name with distaste.

"What are you talking about?" It was the only thing I could think of to say. I mean, did he want a confession or what? But he didn't answer. Instead he rambled on and I could barely make out the words.

"It's a good thing it ended when it did. He's not good for you. Well... he's not good _enough_ for you..." he rambled on but all I could hear was 'It's a good thing it ended when it did.' How did he know it ended? How did he know any of this?

"How did you know it ended?" I asked, my anger coming back. He hesitated and what he said, I couldn't comprehend.

"Because I told him to end it, that's how!" Tears came into my eyes and I couldn't look at him. I clutched the counter and tried to not let my knees give in and fall to the floor.

"What?" I whispered again. Why would he do this? "Why would you do this to me? How _could_ you do this to me?"

"I did it for your own good. It was getting too intense, too serious, and it was a good thing I stopped it when I did. God only know what would have happened otherwise. He wasn't- isn't good enough for you. Not by a long show," I winched at that, how could he think that?

"Do you even know what kind of reputation he had back in Virginia? Do you know how he treated girls?" That was a low blow.

"_Had_ being the right words," my father grimaced, "Of course I know about that. But you don't know him. You don't-"

"Of course I know him! He's like any other guy. He's only taking advantage of you!" I winced again. But he continued like nothing had happened. Like he wasn't confession that he just caused me months and months of pain and torture, thinking Edward didn't want me.

"I saw how upset you got and I saw that you didn't get better in Texas and thought you could get some perspective coming here..."

"Of course I wasn't getting better! Of course I was upset! You- You ruined it! You ruined everything!" I was slowly starting to sob.

"Who are you to tell me how to live my life?!" He was the reason. The reason I cried my self to sleep that last night in Virginia. He's the reason I've been miserable for months! How could he do this to me?

"I'm your father! I know what's best-"

"Bullshit!" I yelled. "You may be my father but you don't know shit on what's best for me. Before we moved here, you were a complete stranger to me and you certainly didn't know me either! Obviously! And just because you're my father, does not give you the right to dictate my life!"

"And to believe rumours over your own daughter! What kind of father are you?! For what you know, all those _rumours_ could be completely untrue!" He snorted again.

"Come on Bella!" He said like it was obvious it wasn't. "It is true. All of the things they said about him-"

"That was along time ago. It was before we even moved there!"

"It doesn't matter!"

"Of course it does!" Tears were streaming down my face but I ignored it the best I could, even if I could barely see. "You don't know him like I know him. I- I-"

"What?" He said and looked at me sternly. "You love him?" The question took me off guard.

"I- I don't know," I only whispered it. I didn't know. I think, I kind of do.

"Well even if you do, he could never feel the same way! He uses girls and he doesn't fall _in_ _love_ with them."

Why was he so cruel? Did he want to keep me locked up and never leave the house? Did he want me to be miserable? Edward made me happy, wasn't that enough for him? Even if Edward was like the rumours said, they were true, most of them, it was a long time ago, before we moved there and he changed. I know he has. He's a good person. If it would be a mistake to trust Edward again, it would be _my_ mistake. Because it's _my_ life!

"I don't want you seeing him anymore, Bella." That brought me out of my thoughts.

"And why should I listen to you?" I said forcefully. He couldn't tell me what to do.

"Because I'm your father!"

"Yes. The father who practically ruined my life because he heard rumours about my _boyfriend_," I saw him cringe a bit at the word. "And decided to make him break up with me because, event though it's _my_ life, that means squat to you!" He had nothing to respond and I continued.

"Do you know how pathetic this is? Most fathers would just tell their child what they thought but ultimately it's the child's decision. It's not _yours_."

"Bella. I'm your father and I would do anything to protect you. Even from people like _him_."

"I get that you care but this is too much!" I left the kitchen and trudged my way to my room, slammed the door shut and locked it. The tears welled down freely now and sobs would break through. I sniffed and tried to wipe away the tears but new ones would just come and there was no point. My back touched the wardrobe door and I slid down, bringing my knees up to my chest. My arms slid protectively around them and I buried my head out of sight. I sobbed more freely now and I could feel my thighs getting wet by my tears.

I don't know how long I sat there, it could have been minutes or hours, it doesn't matter. My father hadn't come up yet, if he was even going to. If there had been a knock, I must have suppressed it. I raised my face and my vision was blurry. I blinked several times but my eyes were filled with so much water that I just gave up and stumbled my way to my bathroom.

My face was a mess. My eyes were completely swollen; they hadn't been this puffy since we left Virginia. I took some tissues and dried my eyes. I think I was out of saltwater in my system and new tears didn't appear. My nose was clogged and I had to blow my nose, at least 4 times before it was clear, attractive. My hair was just… uck! It wasn't greasy but it wasn't like my normal hair. It was bland and just lifeless, no volume what so ever.

It was still pretty early. I didn't know if Edward went back to sleep or if he stayed up. I didn't know what to feel, to be honest. I _knew_ I was still pissed at Charlie. I was 100 % sure of that. But what about Edward? Should I be mad at him? Was I mad at him? At the moment, thinking his name, I felt no anger, I felt other things but they were normal when I thought of him. I was… relieved? Yes, I was. I knew why he said what he did but I still don't know _why_. I don't know _his_ reason. Why did he even listen to my father? Was it something else?

I decided I didn't care if I woke him up, I called anyway. Not three rings later, he picked up.

"Bella!" His voice was relieved but I had to know one thing first.

"Was that the only reason?" I sniffed, my nose felt like the freaking Niagara Falls.

"What are you talking about? Are you okay?" I sniffed again. Gah with the nose!

"I'm fine," I snivelled. "Was _he_ the only reason?" I was afraid of the answer. Edward stayed silent but I could hear his breathing elaborate. I knew he knew what I meant. It wasn't that hard to figure out.

"I- I- Bella-"

"I just need to know Edward," I could feel tears pricking in my eyes. "Because if you're looking for a way out and not hurt my feelings, please tell me now. I don't know if I could take it one more time," I was sobbing now.

"Yes," He said and for a second my heart panicked. "He was the _only_ reason." I breathed out in relief. "And I'm not trying to "look for a way out" or anything. Of course not. It's ridiculous to even think that." I smiled and sniffed again. My God! What the hell is wrong with my nose?!

"But seriously though," He said and I was sure he was teasing now, "Are you okay. You sound like you've been crying," but his voice was also concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine, "That was an understatement. I was still mad at my father for all this, I didn't know how to forgive him, but if Edward was with me, I would be fine. "My nose has the idea that it's the Niagara Falls and won't stop running." He laughed and I joined him. This felt to natural, so easy. My father could think all he want but what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him and if he was so dead set against Edward, then he wouldn't have to be included.

* * *

**AN: It wasn't exactly my attention to have Charlie this way, mean**** and all (not _this_ mean but still). I was kind of pisses at... well... everything, but that's how it went. But this is the way I have intended for the story to go from the beginning.  
****I know it's ****smaller than usually but I really wanted to post and it seemed like a good ending.  
****Hmmm…. I'm sort of out of material now (kind of)****… I'll see what I can cook up. Maybe some intrigues… oh well… REVIEW! PLZ?!?**


	16. New, but still the same

**AN: ****I wrote 9 pages! 9 pages in word and when I set to save it, everything disappears and now, I had to write it all over again! I'm very pissed andwant to either die or kill someone and I don't give a shit about any typos so just deal with it! But I'll look it over as much as I can. **

* * *

_New__, but still the same _

I woke up with a jolt, feeling completely disoriented. It felt like I had been falling. Like right before you wake up, you have this sense of falling, I hate that. I sat up, trying to get the last traces of sleep out of my eyes but it was a loss cause. They still felt like they had elephants hanging on to them. I slung my legs over the side of my bed and get up. But light-headedness takes over and I plump back down. When the dizziness is gone, I get up again, slowly this time and start the day with a long yawn.

Getting dressed and making it downstairs in one piece was a success. I even managed to make it through breakfast without any major accident. That was amazing. I barely even paid attention as I handled the toaster. I was lucky I didn't choke on anything. I heard a knock and my eyes widened and a smile crossed my face. I all but ran to the door and practically ripped it off its hangers. It was pathetic how much I missed him. But really, I haven't seen him for hours; it was torture.

But as I – _finally_ – got the door open, it was worth not seeing Edward for all those hours. For there he stood, in all his glory and as he saw me, his crooked grin appeared and my knees almost gave out.

"Good morning," he says in his velvety smooth voice which makes my heart racing like the wings of a hummingbird.

"Morning," I manage to get out thought all the incoherency in my head.

"Ready to leave?" I nod, grabbing my bag and locking the door on my way out.

As we walk to his car and during the drive to school, I couldn't help the smile from grazing my lips as I recalled yesterdays events.

– _Flashback – _

"_Hi," He greets. _

"_Hey__," I sigh and he chuckles. He sits down across from me and I have a small surge of disappointment runt through me. But this way, I don't have to have a reason to look ay him. Not that I would have needed one if he chose to sit next to me. I picked up the menu and right now, everything looks ravishing, but I settled for pancakes and orange juice. _

"_Not hungry?" I asked for Edward didn't order anything. _

"_No, I already ate. You took time getting ready," he teased and I glared at him. _

"_Haha, very funny," I did not take that long. _

_We were sitting in silence now and this time, it was an awkward one. I could tell Edward wanted to talk to me about something but he was still fidgeting with his napkin and all I could do was watch it. As I felt annoyance overtake__ and it was clear he wouldn't talk, I looked at his face. _

"_Okay, will you just say it?" _

"_What?" His voice was innocent, too innocent. _

"_I can practically hear your brain working from over here," I was only half teasing; he did look like he was in deep concentration. He stopped playing with the napkin but still, he didn't look at me. He took a few more seconds and then made eye contact. _

"_Aren't you… mad at me?" Huh? I didn't see that one coming. _

"_No," I say instantly, without having to think about it. But I had to add; "I was only thinking why you even went along with what Charlie said," I avoided calling him my father. At this moment, he didn't feel like it and I wouldn't acknowledge him as it either. Edward didn't say anything and I felt dread overcome me. _

"_Unless there was another reason," I whisper, looking down. _

"_There wasn't. Not like you mean it," I look at him with my head cocked to the side, confused by that cryptic answer. _

"_I don't understand, "I told him honestly. He got up and walked around the table, sitting down next to me. I shift my body towards him. He starts playing with strand of my hair that got loose and smoothed it out behind my ear before talking. _

"_When he said I wasn't good enough for you," as I was about to speak and deny it, he silenced me. "Just let me say this, okay?" I only nod and he grasps my hand in both of his, feeling it. "When he said that, I couldn't help but feel that, to some parts, he was right," it was hard not talking now but Edward hurried along with that he had to say. "But after you left, it only took me a few hours to realise that I was selfish enough to still want you, even if I was "bad" for you. As I had given it a few days, for I thought you would just hang up, I called but the number had been disconnected. I took it as a sigh to not bother you again. That was… until this Monday." He stopped talking and I was speechless, literally. He looked up from my hand. _

"_Oh," was my brilliant response and he chuckled, looking down at my hand again. But I felt a new tension in his hands. As he was about to let go, I grasped one of his hands and entwined out fingers. _

"_Thank you for telling me, "I told him honestly. _

"_I don't feel like that anymore," he says in a rush, trying to make me understand and I smile. "Like I said, I'm much too selfish," I didn't have anything to say, literally and did the only thing I could think of. I leaned closer to him. He followed and our lips touched. _

_The electricity was still there and then some, like the first time. But before we could deepen it, someone ear cleared their throat. _

"_Excuse me?" We both looked up, Edward only glanced at the waitress and I felt a little smug. "Pancakes and orange juice?" I nod and she puts down the items. Her eyes were glued to Edward but he wasn't looking at her. His entire back was towards her and he was still touching my hand, it felt amazing. _

"_Did you change your mind? Is there _anything_ I can get you?" The double meaning in both questions didn't slip my mind. Edward turned his head enough to respond. _

"_No, I'm good," he turned back towards me; paying no attention to the waitress whom it was obvious had a lot of fake towards her. Why would anyone get a fake tan in Forks? She huffed in annoyance and took the tray, walking away. I laughed quietly as I saw her wiggle her hips, probably thinking it would get Edward attention, it didn't, and it looked ridiculous. _

"_What?" Edward was examining my face but I kept smiling. _

"_Nothing," I said shaking my head. _

_I turned to my food and began eating. The entire time, Edward kept watching me and to be honest, it made me uncomfortably self-conscious. He also played with my hair a lot, which I wasn't complaining about. I took very small bites but managed to finish. I leaned against his shoulder as I was done. After a while I groaned. _

"_What's wrong?" He asks; his voice full of concern. _

"_I really don't want to go home," I say and bury my face in his shirt, inhaling hi scent. _

"_You can always come to my place," I heard the double meaning and hesitated for a second. I leaned my chin against his shoulder. He watched me. I brought a hand to his cheek and he sighed, closing his eyes. _

"_Okay," I said and he smiled. I felt my heart sore at the sight. We walked outside, towards his car; I would get mine later, got in and drove off. _

– _End of Flashback – _

"Bella?"

I was brought out of my thoughts by the sound of Edward's voice, we were at the school. I turn to him.

"Yeah," I say and curse myself as my voice cracks.

"Don't pay attention to the others," I wanted to respond 'That's easier said than done' but I decided against it. Edward took my chin in his hand and brought my face towards his. I welcomed the kiss. I took my hand to his hair, to get him closer but he chuckled and moved away and I groaned in protest.

"School, Bella," I grimaced at that and Edward chuckled as he got out. I took one deep breath and got out myself. It was horrible as I'd feared. Everyone stared, and not everyone was discrete about it. I could feel holes burning into my by glares from girls and sad to disappointed looks from some guys. People shouldn't really jump so fast to conclusions. In the eyes of a "normal" person, we wouldn't even be considered a couple. We weren't holding hands, talking or unstinting remotely close to PDA.

We moved down the hall – which seemed to stretch on forever, what the hell?! – to my fist class, which was math. Gah! Math! I hate math. We make it to the door in one piece but I feel extra stared burning into me as we stop in front of it. Edward doesn't make a move to kiss me to which I'm glad and disappointed about. He did, however, bring back my hair behind my ear and I feel a blush creeping its way onto my cheeks.

I gasp and my breath gets caught in my throat as I feel his hand make its way to my collarbone and to where my top cuts off. He smirks at the gasp and moves away, towards his class. It feels like I'm on fire and I get a dreaming look on my face, I knew it. I open the door and walk in. I spot Angela and move towards her.

"Hi," she greets and looks at me puzzling. Probably wondering why I have a goofy grin on my face.

"Hi," I say back with a dreaming sigh and sit down. She doesn't ask about it and I'm grateful. Angela's a nice friend, she wouldn't bombard me with questions that Jessica would. _And will_, I thought later. I groaned out loud at the thought.

"You okay?" I turn to Angela.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say but I'm sure she doesn't believe me. "Just thinking," I take out my books and so the lesson begins. I tried, I really did; to concentrate but it was to no use. I couldn't concentre on the teacher as he did some equations on the board. I couldn't even focus on the one in front of me in the book. All I could think about was Edward and I prayed this class went over quickly and I'd have history. History wasn't so bad.

---------

History is murder! I'm not just saying that because of my feelings towards the subject but history really is murder! Apparently, Mr. Berger came to the impression that we want to listen to him droning on and on about all kind of things between heaven and earth for an hour straight. Why would anyone want that?!

I looked around and true enough, one after one fell victim to this cruel way of "learning". Some had let their head down on the desk, other were leaning against their partners. I, myself, felt exhaustion take its toll and my eyes dropped dangerously low. I sat up straighter in an attempt to not fall asleep but the attempt was fruitless. Mr. Berger spoke about something I could not really comprehend at this moment. Did he really not notice the sleeping students or was he just ignoring them?

He could make a fortune on selling CDs for people with sleeping problems. Insomnia no more! Listen to Mr. Berger speaking about history for an hour and your problems will be solved, forever. I yawned and tried to muffle the sound with my hand.

I stopped fighting my back aching and leaned down against the desktop, my arms folded underneath my head. My eyelids dropped once more and I willed them open, but it was to no use. They dropped again and this time, they didn't reopen. I was just on the brink of sweet, sweet sleep when a loud cracking voice broke through the room.

"OKAY!" I jerk myself upright and blink, several times. My heart beast erratically in my chest and I feel myself breathing heavier. "Your homework for Monday is page 40- 49. We shall discuss it furthermore on Wednesday. Have a good lunch." It took me a few moments to get my brain to function properly and make some coherent thoughts. I blinked some more and grabbed my stuff, shovelling it down my bag and walked out drowsily.

As I didn't pay attention walking out, I, at first, didn't notice Edward, leaning against the wall looking like a god. But when I did, I stopped dead in my tracks. He turned his head my way and smiled at me. I was a little less tired now if I could see that smile again. I smiled back and walked closer to him. He surveyed my face and chuckled.

"How was history?" I groaned and he chuckled some more.

"That bad huh?" I nodded.

"He talked for an hour straight about… I don't' know but it was a lot, I think," I mumbled and only made half sense to myself. Edward chuckled and brought back my hair from my face. We started walking.

As we walk to the cafeteria I know I will be sitting with Edward… and his family. At the thought of that, I reminisced yesterday afternoon. It was different but still not.

– _Flashback – _

_Edward pulled up to the driveway and turns off the car but none of us makes a move to get out. I knew he was watching me but my gaze was solely glued to his house and what I knew was waiting inside, or more like _whom_. I knew that, meeting his family was inevitable bit it didn't stop this knot in my stomach from turning, making me nervous._

"_Why does this scare you so much?" He asks softly. I turn towards him and think it through fast. Why was this scaring my so much? _

"_I don't know," I tell him honestly. He smiles that crooked grin and I melt. _

"_It's not like they're going to bite," he tease and I glare at him, obviously not appreciating his little joke. Edward opened his door but as I didn't fully didn't comprehend that he did so, I jumped as I saw my door open by Edward. he held out his hand for me and I took it. _

"_We walked up to the front door and as we walk in, no one is in sight. At first I think we'll be all along but those dreams were crushed as I hear someone walk down the stairs. I look over as Edward takes my jacket and hangs it up. _

_Alice jumps, or skips, I can't be sure which, down the stairs. She comes to a halt in front of us, first looking at Edward. _

"_Edward," she acknowledges him nonchalantly and turns her head towards me with a big and bright smile. _

"_Bella," she says sweetly. "It's o nice to finally meet you… properly," huh? How much did Edward tell her about me? As I was ready to pull out my hand and shake hers, she embraces me in a tight hug, instead. For being such a tone girl, she is very strong. _

"_Alice, you're crushing her," Edward tease and Alice chuckles but lets me go, backing away a step or two. I notice another figure descends the stairs. It was the blond male, Jasper. He comes down and stands behind Alice. _

"_Don't scare her off Alice, Jasper says and smiles at me, I smile back. "Or Edward will have your head," Alice snickers at that and I turn towards Edward seeing him roll his eyes. _

"_Anyone else home?" Edward asked to change subject. Alice nodded. _

"_Only mom, she's in the garden. Dad's at work and Emmett and Rose are… somewhere," no one questions the last part. I see Alice and Jasper share a look and he retrieves upstairs. _

"_Well now, dearest brother, I'll leave you be," with that, she bounced up the stairs. She bounced?! I knew the girl had energy but how could she _bounce_ up the stairs? Did she have like 50 Red Bulls before or something? I felt Edward tug at my right arm, but it's not up the stairs. I gave him a look and he sigh. _

"_You're gonna have to meet my mother sooner or later, Bella," I gulp but nods and he takes me through he kitchen, which is huge, by the way, to two French doors. Before we excite I look around. The floor is in black/white and the walls are a light green. _

_The garden was absolutely beautiful. There were flowers everywhere and the grass was extra green. How'd they manage that? The sun was shining lightly, something that was rare in this little rainy town. In fact, any day which involved sunlight was cherished greatly in this town. _

_I saw, out of the corner of my eye, Edward's mother, Esme, sitting on her knees and what appeared to be planting flower of taking out weeds. Edward entwined out fingers and brings us closer to her. _

"_Mom," he says when we're in earshot. She looks up with a smile at him but her gaze freezes on me. I feel panic surge through me again. "This is Bella," he says and Esme is still looking at me. A smile crept on her face and she got up. _

"_It's nice to meet you Bella," she says as sweetly as Alice, they sound a lot like each other. "I would shake your hand but I'm a little muddy at the moment. _

"_That's okay," I say with a chuckle, feeling my worries slip away. At least she doesn't hate me, if she does, she hides it very well. Esme look at Edward the both of them share a look. As Edward runs a hand though his hair, Esme smiles again at the both of us. I knew what she asked him and what his response were. _

"_Well I have to get back to this," he points towards the flowers. "It's not often we get sunlight here and you have to take advantage of it," she gets back one her knees and Edward and I retreat back to the house, hand on hand. Edward takes our hands up and he kiss the back of my hand. I smile at him as we get back inside. _

– _End of Flashback – _

We had reached the cafeteria by now. I briefly surveyed it. Not that may have arrived yet. Good. Jeezh! You'd think I'd have enochlophobia or something (AN: Google it if you don't know what it means).

I can still feel the stars burn a hole in my as we stand in the food line, Edward in front of me. I wasn't paying attention but grabbing items at random. I did, however, manage to get a hold of Red Bull, there was no way I would be anywhere tired at gym. _Gym_, I groaned internally. It wasn't just that I hated gym and the meaningless sports they made us play or that I sucked t it, but it was the fact that I would suck at it in front of Edward. At our old school we, thankfully, didn't have gym together but he knew about my lack of coordination skills. Gah!

"Okay, can you tell me what's wrong before I loose my mind?" I look up, realising Edward has spoken.

"I'm just thinking bout gym" I said truthfully. He looked confused but didn't press it, yet. We walked towards the table he and his family and Hale's had been sitting at the entire week before. I sat down at Edwards left and he turned towards me

"What about gym?" I sighed, knowing he wouldn't stop until I told him.

"I suck at sports and normally it fine but you're in my class and that will definitely _not_ improve my coordination skills," he watched me for a moment before chuckling.

"What?" I said irritated.

"You worry about all the wrong things," he smiled and I glared at him for making fun of me. But all thoughts disappeared entirely as I felt his hand at the back of my neck, gently rubbing it. It felt so good and I had to bite back a moan. But then reality came crashing down.

"Hey guys," Alice proclaims as she and jasper sits down at the table. Edward removes his hand and I miss the contact.

"Hey," Edward and I say in union, causing us all to laugh. While Alice was, literally, a ball of energy, Jasper was calmer, a lot calmer. Even thought their behaviours were completely different, they balanced each other out. We fell into a comfortable conversation but it was interrupted when Emmett and Rosalie showed up. Obviously, they knew about me, Rosalie offered me a smile but Emmett was the one to speak.

"Sot his is Bella?" He smirked mischievously at me.

"Yes?" I say but it comes out as a question. I see him open his mouth to speak and I prepare myself for whatever comment he's going to send at me.

"Emmett. Don't be mean," Rosalie says, interrupting him. He turns to her.

"But I didn't even say nothing," I smiled at his childish tendencies.

"But you were going to," he then looks at me. "Don't listen to whatever he says. All bunch of crazy talk," the comment causes us all to laugh. Obviously, you could joke around with each other. Good to know. The rest of lunch was kept in comfortable conversation. I mostly sat quiet, watching them. They all looked so comfortable around each other, despite the fact that three of them were siblings.

As time also moved on, I started feeling dread about gym. I knew I was tense and hoped with all my might it wouldn't' be anything too embarrassing, but as it was still an outside gym lesson, there was only so much we could do on a football field (AN: soccer. I'm Swedish!). Teachers were cruel here. It almost always rained, why would they have gym outdoors? It just made no sense to me.

But as we, Edward and I, walked to the locker rooms, he put his arm around my waist and his hand got under my shirt, by my hip. It was both calming and made my heart rate rise. His hand was cold and I memorized the feeling and leaned into his embrace. But as his thumb started to move, I almost moaned but he came to a stop and I realized we were in front of the doors to the locker-rooms.

"Don't worry," Edwards whispered into my ear, I shivered at the affect and he smirked. "You can always fake a sprained ankle if it has to come down to that. I smiled at his affect of trying to reassure me and he let me go and stayed put as I walked inside.

The second I walked in, I got ambushed by Jessica. She wore and incredulous expression on her face and I raised my eyebrows innocently.

"What?" I asked.

"What?!" she exclaimed. "You show up with Edward Cullen in his car, he walks with you in the halls and you with him, his family and the Hale's for lunch and all you an say is 'what'?"

I walk around her towards an empty bench. "Yes," I say honestly.

"No way! You _have_ to give us details, Bella! It's _Edward Cullen_ for Christ sake!" I roll my eyes as I unfasten my shoelaces. I saw, out of the corner of my eye, Lauren Mallory, paying some small attention to us. She was one of the girls I've seen glare at me in the hallway. But even if I wasn't in the picture, she would have no shot with Edward, what so ever and if she actually thought that, she's as stupid as people say.

"What do you want to know?" I ask as I sit up straighter. She looks at me with wide eyes, like she didn't believe I'd give in that easily. Just because she could ask all her questions, didn't mean I would answer them. Her brows scrunched together and I could feel her brain cells working.

"Tell me everything! Are you two dating? When did you start to date? Did something happen this weekend? I mean, you _didn't_ _know_ each other before Friday," I almost laughed at the last sentence but decided against the added questions that would bring. But as it happened to be, I didn't know what to say. My quietness was apparently enough for Jessica.

"Come on Bella! Why aren't you gloating with pride? It's _Edward Cullen_," she said it like it was obvious I wanted an almost stranger knowing my most private personal life.

"Maybe I don't want people to know about my personal life," I muttered.

"A _normal_ person would," I heard someone mutter. I didn't have to look to see it was Lauren. Her voice was unmistakable. I ignored her and Jessica spoke up.

"So you admit there is something between the two of you in your personal life?" I didn't know what to say. I sighed.

"Yes," I said and Jessica's eyes were at a risk of bulging out of her eyes.

"Oh. My. God." She said. "This is huge," what is wrong with these people? I wasn't comfortable with this conversation and hoped it was over now but _Lauren_, I cursed her internally as she spoke.

"I heard someone say they saw them kissing in his car before school," Jessica shot her head in my direction and I saw Lauren smirk.

"Oh my God!" Jessica was making no sense and she mumbled something incoherently, all I could catch was 'doesn't like' and still huge'. It made no sense for her to be so interested. She must have a sad life to be living through me vicariously like this.

I finished changing, ignoring some other questions Jessica had for me. I didn't want to talk about it, least of all with her, was that so hard to understand? I was actually looking forward gym now. I dressed in a hurry.

The rest of classed gathered the side of the field. I almost groaned as I knew what we'd be doing. But I was surprised and then terrified. Coach came towards us with a net and loads of balls. But they weren't footballs, they were… volleyballs? I groaned at the thought of me playing volleyball.

"It'll be fine," came a hushed voice behind me. I looked over my shoulder and Edward stood right behind me. My heart started pumping faster, naturally.

"Tell that to the person I'll be giving a concussion today," he chuckled, but I ignored him, I might as well start now.

"Alright boys and girls. First, I'll go over the rules of volleyball, which we'll be playing today…" he droned on but I was only partly listening. Edwards hand was on the small of my back, under my shirt. The coldness sent shivers down my spine. I crossed my arms to keep me from either start hyperventilating, though I don't know how crossing my arms would help, or I would turn around and possibly tackle Edward to the ground, not caring who saw us. The second alternative was out of the question and I fisted my hands, taking deep, calming breaths.

The coach went through the rules and I really should be listening but I wasn't. Edward fingers were the only part touching me now and they ghosted over the small of my back. It was lucky my shirt wasn't a size s. No one else seemed to notice I was on the brink of either attacking another student of hyperventilating. They were all to busy with themselves and for once, I couldn't have been happier. I did notice Jessica and Lauren talking amongst themselves and, from time to time, looking over here. Great, I thought sarcastically.

But as I felt a hit breath on the back of my neck, I couldn't contain a small gasp and my lips slightly parted.

"What are you doing?" I asked hushed, only turning my head an inch.

"Nothing too out of line," he responded huskily and I fisted my hands tighter until it hurt. The only thing I heard was mine and his breathing. Mine was elaborated and his was deep and I swear, if he started talking, I knew how it would sound and I could not be responsible for my actions. But he didn't. Instead, he moved back a bit and his hand disappeared from my back. I was both confused and glad. But my answer was the coach calling out.

"Let's start playing."

To say that it went _okay_ would be and overstatement. I managed to hit two separate people as I served. I was afraid my blush would be permanent on my cheeks. As I was in the game, so to speak, I tried to get away, to let the other members get the ball instead. They were all willing but the coach wasn't. Really?! Was he that blind to see that I was injuring people or was he just ignoring it, hoping it would go away by itself? He forced me to interact more and I heard many of my teammates groan. That's so nice.

I prayed the class would be over soon. Edward wasn't helping either. We weren't on the same team and that made it, believe it of not, worse. I could see him all the time and… it was just horrible. I hate gym! I would have preferred football over this. At lest then, I only had to pretend to be after the ball and run across the field as the ball was passed along.

I would even have preferred swimming, instead of this. Edward without his shirt is very tempting, too tempting. Especially when we're not swimming and playing volleyball and I'm not paying attention! I shook my head to concentrate but it was to no use. I had the image of a shirtless Edward in my mind now and it was not going away. I didn't exactly want it too but couldn't it be suppressed till I didn't have to worry about incapacitate someone.

After what felt like forever, and I do mean that in the literal sense, class finally – _finally_ – ended. I thought I could cry when the whistle blew but I decided against it. It would just be disturbing. Before we walk into out separate rooms, Edward turns to me.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" I glare at the door only muttering.

"Bite me," I mumbled and before the door closed, I heard him laugh. Cocky prick.

* * *

**AN: ****The football experience is my own as I am lousy at sports, and I say that with pride! I just ran around like a crazy person on the field but the others didn't mind so, or even pay attention so it was a win-win situation. **

**As this chapter is longer than usual, I t****hink I've earned extra reviews? **

**I don't know how many more chapters there will be. We'll just have to see. But if there is anything special you want to read, don't' hesitate to tell. It's you who are reading, not ****me. I'm thinking of some drama right now but it needs to fit with the story, duh! Hmmm… this is difficult, my imaginary mind usually is more inventive than this… **


	17. Compromising

**AN: Very long chapter this time. I don't know how that happened. It was just supposed to be 5 pages of ExB, not exactly sure what they would be doing, but then I wanted some drama and well... yeah.... so here it is!  
And as always; I want to apologize for any misstaces that you may find. I have only read through it once since it is so long. **

* * *

_Compromising _

I was sitting at my desk, typing furiously on my laptop. My eyes moved between the screen and the keyboard every 5 seconds. The effect was slightly making me dizzy but I ignored it. I barely took bathroom breaks. There was a essay due in 2 weeks and, feeling I wanted it over with, I started today and I was on such a roll I didn't want to stop. It wasn't that bad, the subject anyway. But still kind of sad. It was Friday and I was doing homework because I found it fun. I guess someone has to be on the unusual side.

But there were many pros to this. Charlie wasn't home and I planned on taking full advantage of that. He would be gone the entire weekend and there was no way I was really leaving the house. I barely spent any time here now, except for when I was sleeping and such. I knew I was holding a grudge that would soon break me, but at this moment, I was as stubborn as my father and if he didn't want to apologize, I wouldn't either.

And not only that my father wasn't here, I was still recovering from the shopping trip I had yesterday with Alice. I have never seen anything like it. When Alice is in a mall she goes insane. I mean it in the literal sense. I like shopping to a degree but 8 hours in a mall with only 1 hour break, total, is too much for me. It should be too much for anyone. My feet still ached with the effort I had yesterday. I think I walked 50 miles and tried on 500 pairs of shoes.

I kept my earphones in, letting random songs flow through my ears. I was surprised I wasn't deaf, even if the music flowing through was only the chords of a piano. It was rare that study focus like this came to me. Most of the time I would just cramp up and it'd take 50 times longer than when I wrote like this.

I began to lightly nibble on the headphone cord and simultaneously biting my lower lip, revealing some dead skin from the cold air, just wanting to be chewed off. I saved the Word and took a deep breath and closed my eyes. My fingers hurt from typing so fast and they crackled when I cracked them, that felt so good. My neck felt a little stiff. I took my hands to my hair, bringing it out of my face, breathing in and out, deeply. I plopped the headphones out, hearing a slight ringing before I cracked my neck and it too made a sound which was, strangely, comfortable.

"I really wish you wouldn't do that," my heart gave out for 2 seconds and four things happened at once.

I gasped, whirled around, jumped up from my chair and slammer my back into the balcony doors. I felt my heart wanting to go into cardiac arrest but I put a hand to it in a fruitless attempt to bring it down and looked at the figure which nearly caused me my life. But when I saw who it was, my heart fluttered as fast as now but in an entirely different way.

His hair was in complete disarray, like he'd just been sleeping. His cocky smirk was plastered on his face, obviously amused by my reaction. He was leaning slightly against the doorway with his arms crossed. He had never looked sexier. Well maybe I was wrong but give me a break; I almost died five seconds ago! But as I didn't want him to get away with almost scaring the living daylights out of me, I scowled at him, knowing I wouldn't be able to keep it up for long.

"What?" Edward asked in his oh so innocently smooth voice. He pushed himself off the doorway and came in and sat down at the age of my bed, looking perfectly at ease.

"What the hell was that?" I said breathlessly but it wasn't just from being scared.

"What do you mean?" He had the innocent look still on his face but the corners of his lips twitched a lot and he was strongly fighting a smile.

"Don't _what_ me, you know what. You scared the shit out of me!" I sat down again but he remained on the bed, still looking like the picture of ease. But at my sentence, he smirked again, not being able to contain it any more.

"I know. And I'm sorry. But I simply couldn't resist," he then got up, and came and stood right in front of me. I felt my heart fluttering faster. My hands gripped underside of the chair and my breathing picked up. He bent down, his hands on either side on my body, on the back of the chair. I gulped, leaning back as he leaned forward. His face was so close and his breath fanned out on me and I closed my eyes. He moved and I felt his breath tickle my right ear. His lips came in contact with the shell and he murmured.

"Are you very upset?" I shivered at his tone and the feeling of his lips on my ear and did the same he did for me.

"Not anymore," I told him and kissed him right below his ear. Before I could let my tongue dart out, he moved back and I missed having him so close. His eyes shifted towards the laptop and then back at me.

"What are you working on?" I had to take a few seconds to finally understand he just asked me a question. He went to sit down at the bed and I could think semi-normally again.

"Um… the religion essay?" It came out as a question. I did say semi-normal. He smirked at my obvious lack of coherency and obviously pleased with it for his lips turned into a smug smirk. I still had a lot of incoherency left in my little mind. But one thing I could think of left me confused.

"How'd you get in?" I looked at him suspiciously. He just shrugged, sitting back more on the bed.

"I knocked but no one answered. The door was unlocked. You really shouldn't do that, you know."

"What?"

"Leave the door unlocked. Any kind of lunatic could just walk in and kill you," he continued and I chuckled at that.

"Ah," I said and then, deciding to experiment a little, I got up from the chair and made my way towards him. He seemed surprised by my movement and even more surprised when I put my right thigh on the out side of his and the same with my left thigh, straddling him.

"But what kind of lunatic killer would knock before entering the house and then kill me?" I whispered teasing and seductively while getting myself a little more comfortable. The wiggling of my hips was solely for payback for scaring me before, and he groaned, placing his hands on my hips to stop my movements, keeping me perfectly still. I knew better then to take it as a sigh of rejection. His head was still a little bit higher than mine and I had to crane my neck a bit. Our faces were merely centimetres apart and I could smell his intoxicating breath coming over my face. It was warm and the smell was nothing that could be described. It seemed like every time it was a new smell, a new taste, but still so familiar.

"I don't know," he murmured. "A polite one?" I chuckled, leaning in to kiss his neck, right by his pulse. I let my tongue dart out and I got the response I wanted, he moaned. It was low and husky, making me want him so much but I kept still, wanting to be as much in control as he. Actually, I wanted him being the one with the incoherent mind. Being the bumbling "idiot" I always was by his mere presence.

"Because," I whispered into his ear and this time, I felt him shiver and I smiled. "the world is full of polite killers." My lips closed in on his earlobe and he made a small noise at the back of his throat. When I ever so slightly tugged at it with my teeth, he groaned, gripping my hips harder than before and the pressure felt unbelievable and I moaned, loudly, into his ear.

"Well, you never know," he said and it sounded strained. I smiled against his ear and leaned back a bit, gripping his shoulders to steady myself. The minute I did so, he smashed my lips down on his. I didn't mind, I welcomed the force. It felt right.

Our mouths started moving in complete sync, but it wasn't enough. But I stood my ground and waited for him to crack first, which he eventually did. I felt his tongue, trying to pride open my mouth, and I let him. Our tongues met and we both moaned at the feeling. His was strangely cool; meaning cold. I don't know how to describe it, other than he tasted cold, like the feeling you get right after having a tic-tac or any other breath mint. It was the strangest description and it barely made any sense for me.

I gripped his hair tighter, while his gripped my hips tighter, bringing his arms around my waist, and taking my flushed body closer to his, I welcomed the feeling of all him. My thighs started to hurt a bit and I had to lean back down. My knees groaned in affect and so did Edward, I smirked as I broke the kiss and leaned my forehead against his. The both of us panting, desperately, for oxygen.

I leaned back, to not tempt me too much and Edward looked to the side, laughing out. I stared at him like he was insane. Maybe he was.

"What's so funny?" He let out another chuckle and looked back at me, nudging his head towards my left; it was all the bags of clothes I'd gotten yesterday. I hadn't unpacked any of it yet, feeling if would take hours to get everything organized right in my closet. Yes, I was an organizer, soon to me diagnosed with OCD. I turned back towards him and hit him, not hard, but enough to get him to stop laughing.

"What you'd do that for?" He was acting well, as if I'd hurt him, I'd have to admit but he wouldn't fool me.

"For having an insane sister," I said and leaned towards my right, unstraddling him and plopping pack on my back. He shifted and leaned down on his left elbow, coming dangerously close to me, but I let my face remain impassive.

"It's not funny to laugh at that… that… experience," he pressed his lips together to keep the laughter away and I became angrier at him. But I didn't have any words for what I went through yesterday. My feet hurt like hell, I had a headache when I got home and I think I spent over 1000 dollars. I was never one for spending so much money and the thought of how much money I actually spend made me dizzy.

"In my defence," Edward said, leaning down on his left elbow, coming substantially closer to me, cupping my cheek in the palm of his hand and making a motion of bringing my hair our of my face. He continued in a teasingly serious tone; "I did warn you about Alice," he smirked at me and I could see he was trying to fight off a laugh; no doubt was he picturing the torture I went through.

"I thought you were joking," I said incredulously and a chuckle escape him. I reached for the bottom of his shirt, fidgeting with the end. "Normal human beings – no, correction – _any_ human being shouldn't act like that over clothes," I continued teasingly thoughtful. "It's just clothes for Christ sake!" I sighed and then groaned. I knew I would be forced into that ordeal more than once.

"What?" He asked, looking at me questionably.

"She's going to drag me to the mall more than once, isn't she?" I asked, already knowing the answer. He nodded, chuckling.

"Yes, she will. Multiple times, actually," I groaned again. "And it won't help by you telling her you don't need the clothes. Believe me, don't _ever_ say that," he got a look of horror on his face that only lasted there a second. I couldn't contain my laughter as I pictured whatever Alice did to him. Two whole days of shopping, maybe three? Burning all his clothes so he'd have to shop?

"Oh you think that's funny, don't you?" Edward said, sitting up and only leaning on his hand now. I nodded, not being able to find my voice.

"Ye- yeah..." I laughed and I could see the annoyance and irritation on his face and it only made me laugh harden than I already was. I clasped my ribs, looking up at Edward. He stayed silent and still as I finished laughing, only small giggles and chuckles were escaping in the aftermath.

"Done?" He asked impatiently.

"I think so," I said with amusement.

"Well, if you think that's funny," he said and got a devious look on his face. "Then you're gonna love this," and with that, his hands came to my sides, tickling me out of my freaking mind. I squealed, wriggling and squirming to get away from him but it was no use, he was way to strong and heavy, his legs were pinning me down. I cried out in laughter and I felt tears prickle my eyes. My ribs were aching with the effort and I tried clearing my throat, to get out something other than mindless squeals.

"I'm... s-s-sorr-y," I spluttered out but he didn't stop.

"What was that?" He asked arrogantly, continuing with his torture.

"I'm sorr-rry I- I la-laughed," I got out and he slowed down his ministrations.

He wasn't tickling me anymore but he wasn't keeping still either. His hands were on my waist, his thumbs making circled on top of my shirt. It rode up with the effort and his hands went underneath. I made no move to stop him, I didn't want to. His other fingers started moving and my lips parted, a silent gasp let them. I trailed my own hands up his arms and when I came to his head I brought it down to mine. He agreed and I sighed as out lips touched. There was no urgency now. The kiss started off sweet.

But when Edward's hands went up a little further, a spark went off and the kiss fastened. Our tongues battled together. I barely breathed, I didn't want to. I never wanted to break away from him. We rolled over and I perched myself on top of him, straddling his waist. I pressed down my weight on him and he groaned loudly and I smirked before coming down again to his awaiting mouth.

His hands changed pattern. They made their way to my back and took my shirt with them. Cold air came in contact with my overheated skin and I shivered, kissing him more hungrily. The hands changed again and came around and his thumbs were centimetre, millimetres, away from my bra. I could feel them snake their way up to the end of my ribs and just as they were about to go under...

_RING_

We both froze at the same time and broke apart. I looked to my nightstand where the phone was sitting in its holder. Edward sighed and fell deeper into the bed, taking his hands out of my shirt. I reached over to grab the phone but Edward kept his hands firmly in my waist, just out of reach.

"Edward," I laughed and he smirked up at me. "I have to answer," I tried squirming to get out but he held me tighter and I shivered at the feeling or his fingers gigging into my skin.

"Actually, I'd rather have you stay right here. I have a much better view this way," he smirked, looking towards my chest and then back into my eyes and I gaped.

"Oh you do, do you?" He laughed, nodding, but let me go enough to get the phone. "Perv," i muttered and that inly caused him o laugh harder. I sat up straight and clicked the green button, not checking who it is.

"Hello," I answer. Edward bends his knees, making me lean forward more, towards him. He smirked at me, gripping my waist again and I simply rolled my eyes.

"Bella," I froze and as I did so, Edward did too. He watched me closely.

"Dad," I said slowly. Why was he calling? He sounded like he was in a car. I immediately panicked, was he coming home? Now? But... he was supposed to be gone the entire weekend!

"I'm just calling because I'm not going away this weekend, as planned," my heart thumped erratically in my chest. I looked down at Edward and he looked alarmed by my panicked expression, I was sure I was wearing. I saw him opening his mouth to speak but I clamped my palm over it, keeping him quiet, shaking my head. We weren't keeping our relationship a secret anymore but my father still didn't like Edward, or at least, we haven't talked about him in a week. _We_, me and my father,have barely spoken for a week other than small greeting when he came home from work and in the morning, if he hadn't already left.

"Oh," I responded after a while. "Did something happen?" My voice was steady but it didn't sound like my normal self.

"We were just told the conference was cancelled. I'm not sure why," my father responded and my chest was vibrating with the thumping of my heart.

"Okay," I said and cursed myself as I heard how weak my voice was.

"You okay Bella?" My father asked.

"Yeah."

"You sure?" _'No!'_ I wanted to yell but held my tongue.

"Positive," I retorted. "But... why are you calling and telling me this?" It confused me. He didn't usually call when he was coming home early.

"I wanted to ask if you wanted to have pizza today. I can go get one before I come home," a smile tugged at my lips. That would take some time.

"Yeah, pizza's okay. When do you think you'll be home?" I hoped my voice wasn't betraying me, it didn't sound like it.

"It will be, at least, an hour. I was already half-way there when they called me. Last minute cancellation."

"Okay," I said, definitely happier now. I was about to hang up when my father called out.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I-," I waited patiently. "I'll tell you when I get home."

"Okay," I said and hung up, tossing the phone to my nightstand. I looked down to Edward and removed my hand from his mouth.

"What did he want?"

"He was just informing me he was on his way home, his conference, or whatever it was he was going to, was cancelled. I saw the look in Edwards's eyes and shook my head.

"No. He's not coming home right _now_," Edward relaxed a bit. "He's getting some pizza," I smiled at him in a seductive way. "It'll probably be more than an hour," I murmured. Edward smirked up at me.

"What ever will we do with the time?" He sat up on his hands, making me come very close to him. Our chests were smashed together and I could already taste him on my tongue. I smirked, playing along.

"Aw," I said, pretending to be flattered by whatever he had cooked up in his mind and believe me, it could be a lot of things. He began to lean forward but I put a finger on his lips, stopping him. He looked at me curiously. "But what will we do with the rest of the 50 minutes?" I laughed while he mock-glared at me. He took advantage of my laughing and crushes his lips to mine. I moan at the contact, bringing my arms around his neck, bringing him closer, if that was possible.

His tongue makes contact with my lower lip but, deciding to screw with him a bit, I didn't open my mouth. I could feel his frustration roll off of him and I smiled against him but continue like nothing. As I thought he had given up, he moves his hand to my butt and pinches it. The movement made me gasp and Edward took his change and plunged his tongue into my mouth. My gasp turned into a moan and I squeezed him even tighter to me.

I gripped his hair, with too much force, but he doesn't' seem to mind. In fact, he groaned at the effect and that little sound was enough to cause continuing chills running down my spine. As I felt me entire being, wanting to plummet down. I was sitting on my knees but they hurt with the effort, and so I gently pushed on Edward, and he moved down, bringing me with him.

My oxygen was running out and my head was getting lightheaded. I didn't want to but I broke away from the heated kiss. Edward didn't stop for a second as he moved across my yaw and down my throat. I might have been embarrassed by my breathing being so loud if I actually cared enough. His mouth moved down more, to my collarbone. He gently kissed and the sucked on the bone. It would definitely leave a mark. I didn't care one bit. I felt me head turning to the side, giving him more space. I felt him smile against me which made me smile too and I bit my lip as what he did felt so good.

His mouth moved even lower and was just at the end, where my tank top ended, right above my breast. He kissed the yet untouched skin. I was panting now. I felt his hands, once again, travel under my shirt, trying to bring it over my head. Normally, I would have wanted nothing more than to let him continue but I managed to get come coherency into my brain and Charlie came into my mind.

If we didn't stop now, we would surely not think about how fast the time went and before we knew it, Charlie would be driving up and I knew he wouldn't look away from Edward's car if he saw it standing there. It wouldn't surprise me if he'd search the entire house for him.

I put my hand over his, stopping it from going further north. Edward didn't stopped kissing me and I was so close to forgetting what I was going to say and just let him continue. But I pressed his hand harder, finding some strength to say what I had to.

"We have to… stop," I managed to pant out.

"Why?" Edward asked and the vibration made me let out a very loud moan.

"Charlie," I said. "He will be home… soon and… I'm sure he wouldn't hesitate to kill you if… he found us like this," I panted and I felt Edward smirked against me, but none the less, he released me.

"Okay," he said with a sigh. "I'll leave," he made to remove me but I didn't let him. I sagged down to his chest; he relaxed back into the mattress and wowed his hands through my hair, gently massaging my scalp.

"I don't want you to leave," I whispered. He chuckled and I looked up at him, letting my chin rest on his chest.

"You can't have it both ways," he said with a smirk. "I can't leave and yet still be here. I'm not sure I'd be willing to sever myself into parts," he teased me and I rolled my eyes at him, letting my ear lie right above his heart. It was beating faster than regularly, almost in rhythm with mine.

"I know," I said breaking the comfortable silence, which has been up for a while, with a sigh.

"That only took a few hours," Edward teased and I chuckled with him but then sighed sadly. I released him, reluctantly, and he sat up, getting off the bed. He pulled me along with him and I took his hand in mine.

He seriously needed to go to a doctor, his hands were freezing! Did he even have any blood running though them or where the veins there just for show?

I took extra caution getting down the stairs. Edward noticed my hesitance as I walk, carefully, down the stairs.

"Why are you walking so slowly?" I sighed.

"If I run down I'll fall and break my neck and then I'll never be able to walk again," I knew he took it sarcastically but I was actually dead serious. Stairs were not my thing, although, I was no fan of elevator either. Claustrophobia would just creep up on me and I'd have to breathe deep and calmly. I opened the door but neither of us let our hands break.

"I'll call you later," he murmured.

"Okay," I said with a sigh, looking up at him. I didn't want him to leave and by the looks of it, he didn't want to leave either. I was always happier having him around, even if we were just doing homework or simply talking about all kinds of unimportant stuff.

Edward took his hand to my face and to the back of my neck. I moved faster, though, pressing my lips against his. I felt him smile against me and I smiled back. We broke apart but I stayed close to his level, standing on my toes, my arms wrapped around his shoulders, but still not tall enough to not crane my neck to look at him.

"Bye," I said once more and let him go. He brought his face down to mine and kissed me chaste one more time and murmured against my lips.

"Bye," and then he left.

I watched as his car drove off, feeling emptiness and loneliness wash over me. I closed the door slowly. It would still be a while until my father would arrive home. Right now, I didn't feel like talking to him. On the phone he seemed like he had a lot on his mind, which he should. Like I said before, Charlie and I have barely been talking for the past week, since after the fight last weekend. But it wasn't my entire fault; he hadn't even made an attempt to either feel any kind of remorse for what he did. But I didn't want to think about that. I was with Edward and things were just fine.

Okay, not completely fine. He was a little distant with me, at some times. It felt like he blamed himself for what happened. Those thoughts only made me think that he did still feel that way. It was my father who gave him the crazy idea that he could be bad for me. Since when had my father ever known what was best for me? It's like he thought that exactly what was good for me, was bad. And that brings us to the _Renée_ topic.

I haven't seen or heard anything from her since I yelled at her that I didn't want her in my life. I didn't, don't get me wrong. But there was some part of me that felt... guilty? It felt like guilt but it couldn't be. I knew what I wanted and to have _her_ in my life was not on my list. Maybe it was that I yelled at her. I didn't normally yell or lash out at people I didn't know. It must be that reason.

I couldn't deny that I was a little pissed at her. I don't just mean the fact that she left me and my father, but that she didn't make another visit. It's like before. If she had really wanted to be in my life, any other mother would have done just about anything to make that happen but _she_ didn't. And it only left me angrier. Why did she have to come back if she didn't really want to? For all I cared, she could be dead. That thought alone made me feel guiltier. What kind of a person what their… _mother_… to be dead?

I groaned to the headache which was forming. I was seated by my desk again, trying to bring back the energy I had before and write something on the damn essay! But no luck, the spark was gone and I had to fight to even remain on the subject.

I was happy when I heard my father's car pulling up to the driveway and I heard the front door shut close after him. The smell of pizza filled my nostrils and I felt my mouth water up. Without realising it, I was starving and I sprinted down the stairs. I almost fell, from the second last step, to the floor but caught myself before pluming down. I said stairs hated me!

"Bella!" I heard my father yell after me; probably thinking I was still upstairs. How could he not have heard my near-death-experience? It seemed loud to me. I made my way to the kitchen and saw my father standing by the island, slicing the newly bought pizza.

"Yes?" I answered. He whirled around and caught me standing right behind him. He was breathing louder, obviously not expecting my figure to be in the same room.

"Hi. Didn't hear you there," yeah well I got that. "You're quiet," he said and I looked at him expectantly. Why was he nervous?

We sat down at the table, something we normally didn't' do. Although, normally, he'd be at work and usually ate there. We sat in silence. I ate my slice very quietly and took small bites. This whole thing made me uncomfortable. Deciding to break the awkward silence, I spoke up.

"So... What did you want to talk about?" MY father looked up, confusion written clearly on his face.

"What?"

"You said on the phone that there was something you want to talk to me about," I said, confusion in my voice. Had I heard him wrong? I didn't think so.

"Oh, that," Charlie said and took a napkin, wiping his mouth from cheese and tomato sauce. He didn't speak so I tried to provoke it out of him.

"Yes, that. What's going on?" Charlie sighed and looked at me.

"I wanted to talk to you about... Edward Cullen," I froze and I clearly heard that he still didn't even like pronouncing Edward's name.

"What about him?" I asked him, thankful that my voice was clear.

"I know that I handled things... not the best way-" I snorted and he looked up at me with questions on his face and in his eyes.

"Not the best way? Dad, you told him, practically convinced him, that he should stay away from me. How is that 'not the best way' of handling it?" I felt anger well up again. If he was giving me another lecture on how he was my father and how he _knew_ what the best choice was for me, I was leaving.

"As I was trying to explain," Charlie continued with a bit of anger in him now. "I was just trying to say that, even though I think I did nothing wrong – in the whole picture - I'm sorry you were hurt for this time," he stopped speaking and I just sat there, watching him incredulously. I didn't say anything and Charlie continued.

"I'm saying, I apologize, Bella..." that got me talking.

"That wasn't an apology I want," I said in anger. "That was you saying you apologize for me being hurt all those months. Not for what you actually did! Which was getting my _boyfriend_ to tell me he didn't want me anymore. Do you know what that did to me?! Do you?!" I stood up and looked down at him.

"How can I-"

"I want an apology for taking him away from me. And for all the things you said about him. You don't know him. You _don't_ know _him_!" Charlie's careful facade broke and he stood up and I saw the anger visible now.

"I know enough! I _know_ he won't treat you the way you deserve! I _know_ he will hurt you again, that he will be a mistake!" I felt tears in my eyes but made them stand back, they would not be shed.

"The only time he _ever_ hurt me," I said with empathize. "was when he said he didn't want me. And _if_ it is a mistake, which it won't be, it will be _my_ mistake," my hands were slowly trembling but I stayed put. My father sat down again.

"I want you to see who he really-"

"I already _know_ who he is. I know _everything_ there is to know about him, even the bad stuff. I don't care and I don't judge him." My father sighed.

"It would just be better if you say things from my point of view," he put a hand over his face and breathed in deeply.

"What do you want from me?" I asked in despair. "Do you want me to go around, pretending that what you did was right? That it didn't matter? Because it did matter, dad! It mattered a lot!" I was going to continue but Charlie spoke.

"I wish you could forgive me," he said and his face was full of sadness. I closed my mouth and redirected my thoughts.

"You're my father," I said and he looked at me. "I have no choice but to forgive you," he smiled at me but I didn't smile back. "But that doesn't mean I forget," his smile faltered and I made to leave. Before I exited the room I looked over my shoulder and spoke.

"And I'm not sure I really trust you… anymore," I only whispered it but I knew he heard me. The house was dead silent.

"Bella," my father said and I stopped in my steps and turned around with a sigh.

"What is it dad?" I said as if I was tired. I kind of was… but at this whole topic. We were just going in circles.

"There was another thing I wanted to speak to you about," he seemed more nervous now than before.

"What?" I said, actually curious now. What more could he have to confess to me?

"I have to tell you something about your mother," I craned my neck, showing obvious discomfort to this subject.

"What about _Renée_?" I tried not gritting my teeth as I thought I knew where this conversation was going. Although, I was wrong in my thoughts.

"There's something you don't know," My father was sitting down, his face in his hands. I waited for him to continue, but he didn't. I leaned against the wall, sighing in frustration.

"What don't I know? Is she married? Does she have 2,5 children, a husband, a cat, a dog and they all live like a happy family in the suburbs? What-"

"We've been seeing each other," he said, cutting me off.

"What are you talking about?" My voice was merely a whisper as I tried to process this, and failed. Seeing each other?! What?!

"A few months ago, you mother," I winced, "contacted me, wanting to know how you were. At first I didn't want anything to do with her. But we went to lunch and it became dinner and I realised how much she ahs changed," I snorted but Charlie went on like I hadn't made a sound. "She really has changed, Bella," I shook my head slowly.

"Dad, no," I said in despair. How could he just trust her like that?

"Maybe if you gave her a chance-"

"I don't want to give her a chance," I seethed. "I manage fine without her."

"Everyone needs a mother, Bella," I inhaled through my nose. We were just going in circles again.

"I don't need _her_! Can you just drop this conversation about her? I've already told you I want nothing to do with her!" I took a deep breath. "I can't tell you who you can and can't date dad, and neither do you to me for that matter. But if you do decide to date her again... I can't be around her

"This is exactly why-" then he stopped. What?!

"This is exactly why... what?" I repeated.

"This is why I told... the boy... he was bad for you – I still think he's bad for you, but if he hadn't told you what he did, I thought you would leave me as soon as you turned 18."

I just stood there and looked at him. He couldn't be serious? Was he really that selfish?! I couldn't lie, hadn't Edward told me he didn't' want me; I was sure I would have moved out as soon as I turned 18 and been with him. But that wouldn't have been my father decision.

"Dad," I said and he looked at me. "You do realise that I'll soon be gone otherwise. There's college and if not that, then I'll still move out soon," didn't he know all this already? Did he really think I'd be living with him till I was forty?

"I know, I just.... wanted you a little longer."

"I never thought you cared _that_ much," I mused but he heard and looked at me incredulously.

"Of course I care, Bella! You're my daughter! I love you and don't even think I don't care about you!" Wow, strong emotions. This is the most of emotions I've gotten out of my father.

"If you just gave Renée a chance.... I would consider giving... _Edward_ one," i gaped at him. He couldn't be serious.

"You're not serious," I stated but he only nodded.

"So you want me to give her a chance and you'll _consider_ giving Edward a chance?" he nodded but I snorted. "No, _I'll_ _consider_ giving her a chance. I'm not gonna go out and be vulnerable to her. And you do realise what that means? You'll have to be _polite_ to Edward when he is here and he _will_ be here, a lot," did he really want to do this?

"I will _try_, if you just see her, talk to her," I couldn't believe that I was even considering this. I didn't want to be near her but the thought of Edward being able to be in the house, and not have my father breathing down his throat because we are in my room with the door closed, was tempting. Very tempting...

"I'm not saying that once I've talked to her, seen her, that I'll still want to be around her. I'm not going to promise that because I'll probably break it," Charlie stayed quiet and he was even... thinking about this?

"Okay," he said and I felt my heart thump faster.

"Okay... what?"

"Okay. I'll give the boy-"

"- Edward."

"-Edward, a chance if you agree to meet Renée, talk to her," I stayed quiet... weighing the options. Finally, I sighed, closing my eyes.

"Okay," I whispered.

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**AN: This was longer than anything I've written so far. I'm se****riously getting better at this! But I had loads of people before, telling me I needed to make my chapters longer (not this story, though) and as always, I want to please my readers. **

**As always I want to hear your opinions. ****Is the chapter/story; Good? Bad? Mediocre? Horrible? Needs improving? Longer? Shorter? More details? Less details? More characters? More Edward and Bella fluff (although, I will always have some of that!) More drama? Less drama? And that list can go on and on… Only a few words are needed to let me know if I need to change or add something later on. It's for your benefit (and a little for me =P. Yeah I know, I'm so vain, sue me!). **


	18. Mistake

**AN: I want to thank for all the reviews I've gotten, they're always appreciated! ****Like I've said before, I don't know how many more chapters there will be. It's difficult to come up with enough drama that still sounds believable. But I've got something that will last for a little while, at least. But now to the story... **

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_Mistake _

I can't believe I'm doing this. _I_ _cannot_ believe _I'm_ going through with this.

I was sitting, alone in a coffee shop... waiting. I was waiting for Renée. I managed to think her name without cringing and that alone was a success to me. So why was I forced into this? Well… physically, I wasn't _forced,_ but mentally, I was, very much. But I don't think I could complain _that_ much. My father had kept his word about Edward, about not being overly protective and visebly cringe at the sigh of him. Edward had been over a lot during the past week and Charlie hadn't said a word. Granted, that was meant literally. Charlie mainly kep out of out way, which was always good. No one wanted their father hovering over you, ever, especially not when your boyfriend is in the same room. But he usually managed to be in the house when Edward was over. It all seemed like too coincidental but Charlie always shrugged off my suspicions. But I think I could take it, him not really speaking to Edward, or even being in the same room. It seemed like the best option, considering.

My father has been breathing down my neck this entire week about when and where I would meet her, Renée. As I finally set the date for Saturday, today, I thought I would at least have the week to get myself prepared. But, sitting and waiting for her to arrive, I was definitely not. What could we possibly have to say to each other? She's more of a stranger than my own father is to me.

I knew I didn't really have anything to say, I was only here to hear why someone could do something like that to a baby and the person she was supposed to be in love with, and _married_ to, and to please my father and making him stop nagging me. I shook my head, leaning down on my elbows and bowing my head, letting my hands hold my head up from the wooden tabletop.

It only made matters worse that I haven't seen Edward since yesterday afternoon. That was almost 20 hours ago! It's pathetic how dependant I was on him, but he wasn't complaining about my almost clingy behavior. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it. It's not like he wasn't the same with me.

As I looked at the clock, only the hundredth time today, it was 3 minutes later then when I looked before. I groaned. Couldn't this just be over and done with already? As I started tapping mu fingers on the table I felt a vibrating motion in my back pocket. I pulled out my phone and instantly smiled as I saw who it was from. _Edward_, I sighed in my thoughts.

_How's it going? _

I pressed a button to type in my reply.

_It's not, at the moment. She isn't even here yet._

Even I read the nervous tone in my message and I frowned. Why was I even nervous about this? It was just coffee. She wasn't going to tell me some sappy story and we'll both cry and hug and then it'll be okay. But as I kept reminding myself of this, it sounded less and less convincing. The phone, which I still had in my hand, buzzed again.

_Relax. Everything will be fine_.

I rolled my eyes at the small text but smiled anyway at his perceptiveness. And of course he could tell how I felt through the freaking text.

_That's easy for you to say. You're not the one who's meeting you "mother" who abandoned you, by the way. __And how do you do that? _

It didn't take long before my phone vibrated.

_True enough. But it will still be fine, one way or another. And do what? _

_That thing. How did you know I was practically freaking out h__ere without even looking at me? _

_Because I know you__. Better than you think. _

"So cryptic," I muttered but couldn't keep a small smile off my lips and I bit my lip to not drag attention to myself. Someone, just smiling for no reason always managed to look like a crazy person. Before I could write back, I heard a car pulling up on the dirt parking lot and my head jerked up. Although, I always did this as the minutes went by. But this time, it was her. I found myself breathing deeply, in a calming way.

_What could possibly happen? _I asked myself

_That you forgive her WAY to easily_.

I cringe at that thought. No, if she wanted to be in my life, she was going to have to work hard for it. I watched as she got out from the ridiculously expensive car. It was rental?! Why would she need a car like that in Forks? Did she _have_ to flaunt that she had money? Was money so important to her? Was it all she had? There were so many questions.

As she walked in, she glanced over the place and her eyes landed on me, sitting in a booth, in the far corner. She smiled but I didn't return it and hers faltered. She walked over to me and sat down wordlessly.

"Hey," she said quietly and I only mumbled a hello back. There was an awkward silence and I didn't know what to say. What do you say? There should be a manual for this! Gah! I was mentally abusing myself for not being more prepared but all that was put aside as Renée tried making small talk. Tried, being the best word.

"You hungry?" She asked as she looked over the menu. Is she serious? "Everything looks so good. I haven't eaten since-"

"Look, "I said, stopping her attempt at small talk, which now sounded more like mindless stuttering to break the awkwardness. It didn't. "I don't want to be rude. But, I'm only here because Charlie made me and to be honest… I really _don't_ want to be here," I said it in the nicest way I could but the look she gave me left me guilty. WTF?! Renée dropped the menu and looked at me.

"I know what you must think of me," she started.

"I doubt that," I muttered but she didn't acknowledge the interruption.

"But I want to be in your life, Bella. I want to be there for you."

"Why?" She looked up at me curiously.

"Why do you want this? Why did you leave 17 years ago and then? If you hadn't I wouldn't hate you now," I hadn't meant for it to come out as harsh as it did but saying it out loud, there really was no way of putting it nicely.

"Do you really hate me?" She whispered and I had to keep myself from staring at her incredulously.

"What do you expect? Do you think I'll be happy that you're here… oh, 17 years too late? Why did you even leave? _How_ could just leave… just like that?" I could feel tears wanting to prickle down but I clenched my fist together under the table, taking that pain instead of the one on the inside.

"I wasn't ready to be a mother," she told me and I rolled my eyes, leaning back. "I know you don't like me but I want to change that."

"And when you leave again and I have just gotten my hopes up, then what? I can't bounce back from that," my voice grew weak and I mentally cursed myself for it.

"I'm not going to leave. I promise," I huffed.

"How am I ever going to believe that? Or how am I going to believe _you_?" She had no answer and we stayed in silence. I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt, tracing the edge.

"You will in time," I looked up and Renée was staring at me arrogantly. "When you see that I'm not leaving, you'll understand," I didn't know how to respond. I couldn't deny that she could possibly be right. I knew myself and even though it was hard just being in the same room as her now, I would probably reconsider hating her if she never left, if she kept her promise.

"That will probably take a long time," I told her honestly.

"I've got time," she told me with a smile. I didn't smile back as I didn't really see anything worth smiling about.

"Really?" I asked sarcastically. "No job, house, apartment, husband? No… Cat or other children you left as soon as they were born?" She looked down in, what looked like, shame.

"No husband, boyfriend, kids or cat. I have a job but I work from home. I'm a writer, actually."

"Oh," was all I responded.

"What about you?" Renée asked.

"Nope. I'm not married. We don't have any pets, I don't work and I'm pretty sure I don't have a kid somewhere," I responded, my voice was heavily laid with sarcasm.

"No," Renée said with a laugh. "I mean… Charlie told me about a boy… Edward, was it?"

"Did he now?" I muttered deeply and Renée nodded.

"Well then, did he tell you how it ended? How he made it end? What really happened before we moved here?" I could see she was focusing on choosing her words before speaking.

"Your father loves you and wants what's best for you. He may have handled it in not the best way… but he did what he thought was right and…" she kept talking but all I heard was 'not the best way. It was the exact words Charlie used. Did he talk to her about all this? I got that he told her some things but did he tell her _everything_?

"So you agree with him? You think that breaking me and Edward up was the best solution?" I said it with as much sarcasm as possible.

"Maybe not in the _exact_ way that your father did… _but_, I think, overall, he did what was right," I only shook my head.

"You know what? You _don't_ get to have an opinion!" He looked taken aback. I didn't want anyone else telling me how much better off I was without Edward. Didn't they see that I needed him? And without sounding too arrogant, he needed me as well. We didn't speak about Edward or my father any more. In fact, we didn't speak at all for a very long time.

"Is that the only reason you left?" I asked in a whisper as I couldn't take the silence and this question had been bugging me since she came here.

"What?"

"Is the only reason you left because you weren't ready to be a mother?" I looked her straight in the eyes. She hesitated. I looked away from her, incredulously and found myself actually caring she didn't _want_ to be a mother. _My_ mother.

"You never wanted me," I said clearly, thankful that my voice didn't crack.

"That's not completely true," I snorted. "When I became pregnant, it was true that I didn't… want it, you, a child. But your father really wanted one and so I wanted to make him happy. But when you wert finally born… I… didn't-"

"Want me. It's okay, you can say it. I wasn't expecting you to," my voice was weak and I had to clear it from cracking. My eyes burned with the unshed tears and I only blinked to make them go away.

"It's not that," she said, shaking his head. "I didn't feel that… _connection_. Your father was the one who was all for the responsibility, the waking up at 4 a.m. I wasn't. And I-… I didn't have that connection with you like your father did. Whenever I took care of you, you'd cry and when your father would hold you, you'd be happy and smile at him. I felt like I was only ruining your life by being there."

"So you left," I finished and she nodded. The tears were threatening to overflow but I wouldn't let them, even if my vision was blurry. _I cannot believe she just told me that_, I thought. "So you're saying it was my own fault that you left... For not being happy whenever you held me?" The anger was clear in my voice. She shook her head and held her hands up.

"That's not at all what I'm saying."

"Well it sure sounds like it," I blinked rapidly, making the tears stay where they were. She couldn't see me like this; see how hurt I was by this entire ordeal.

"I knew this was a bad idea," I stood up and paid for the juice I'd gotten.

"Bella, please. Don't go," she rose herself and pleaded with me. "Please."

"Why should I stay? So you can continue saying what a horrible person I'm being, how horrible I was growing up? I get it! You didn't want me and now, because you think I won't cry when I see you, you come back!" I yelled at her and somewhere, I registered that several of the people in the coffee shop turned their heads in out direction. "Well your shit out of luck," I continued with a sniffle, "because I'm about to start a freaking downpour right now!" I stormed out of the diner, leaving behind, almost all, the costumers baffled by my outburst. I ran to my car, go in, and drove away as fast as I could.

The tears fell so fast, my vision was getting blurry, again. I tried wiping them away with the back of my hand but new ones would just reappear. It started raining on the outside also. Although, it was more like hailing, than raining. My windshield did nothing much to keep away the constant interrupter of sight. That and with my tears, I was an accident waiting to happen. I pulled over to the curb and turned of the car.

I sat in silence as I replayed what happened back there. Tears fell and soon, sobs broke out and I clutched the steering wheel tightly in my hands. I was breathing so hard and fast I thought I was going to hyperventilate. I rested my head on the steering wheel and tried breathing regularly, but I soon gave that up. My whole body shook with sobs and my uneven breaths. My lips started trembling next and then my hands, I clutched them harder to the wheel but they only shook harder with the effect.

Why did I just do that to myself? I felt like my insides were being torn apart. Even worse is that I thought she had changed but she goes in there and tries to blame it all on me! What the hell is wrong with her? And what the hell is wrong with me?!

When someone leaves and then comes back, only to explain that the reason why she left is because you always cried when in her care, you _don't_ give another chance. But here I was, sitting at the side of the road, in my car and crying my eyes out because I realized that I was never wanted by my own _mother_. That thought alone only caused me to cry harder.

But to be honest, I didn't really know what I thought before she came here. Maybe she had been gun forced away, or maybe she had died and my father didn't want to be reminded of it. Anything sounded better than she not wanting me.

I didn't know what I was _supposed_ to do now. I didn't know how I was _supposed_ to feel. I was serious about the manual thing. There should be one. A lot of people get abandoned, so why no manual?! One thing I was sure about; I couldn't stay here, on the road, that is. It started hailing/raining harder now and soon, I wouldn't be able to drive home myself and I'd have to either stay here or call my father. The former sounded tempting but there was always a risk of someone hitting me and I'd die and I couldn't deal with that right now.

So I made a U turn and drove home at an unusually slow pace. Like I sad, with tears still in my eyes and that combined with the weather, I _was_ an accident waiting to happen. I tried to think about something else. Granted, it was difficult but I kept repeating the intro to Grey's Anatomy. My own personal drug. I'll admit it; I'm deeply obsessed with Grey's Anatomy. I just _have_ to know what will happen with Meredith and Derek. It's been going on for years, it has to work now!

This topic was really helping. My crying stopped and I thought back to the last episode I saw. Although, that almost made me cry again. Watching people die is horrible, even if it's just on TV.

I was closing in on my house. I could see almost all the lights were on as I parked. I fled to the porch and swung the door open and ran inside before too much rain/hail could wash over me. I threw off my shoes, knowing that Charlie would soon come here, wanting to know how the disaster from hell went. As if he heard my thoughts, Charlie came into view. He looked at me expectantly and simply ignored him, taking of my coach with an expressionless face.

"How'd it go?" His voice held something that sounded like… hope? Did he really think we would be the best of friends after the coffee talk?

"Why don't you ask your _girlfriend_," I sneered the word. "I'm sure she'll _love_ to fill your head with what happened," I knew she would turn it against me. She did with Edward. Why would she even _think_ she knew him because of what my father have told her?

"What's that supposed to mean?" Charlie mood instantly went from sweet to sour, all in 2 seconds. I turned to him and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Oh, I'm sure you know! You've been talking to her about… _everything_!" He stood there, yaw clenched and he didn't even try to deny it.

"So?" I stared at him unblinkingly.

"So? _So?!_ Why are you talking to _her_ about what's happened? And she actually agreed with you about Edward!"

"She said her honest opinion," Charlie defended. "And she just happened to agree with me," his back was straight and his chin stood out in defense.

"Because you told her nothing but lies! How could you do that?!"

"I needed someone to talk to and she was there-"

"Talk to a shrink then!" I made a run for the stairs and I could hear Charlie run after me. I hurried into my room and then to my bathroom. I slammed the door shut and locked it. I turned on the light and heard as Charlie came into my room and towards the bathroom door.

I don't know why I went to the bathroom. It's something I used to do when I was younger, whenever I was sad or upset. I'd always run and hide in there because it was the only room I knew had a lock on the door. I sat down on the cold tiled floor and leaned my back against the white counter, taking deep breaths.

"Bella! Bella, open up!" Charlie's voice was loud and he banged his fists against the door. I closed my eyes and held my hands to my ears, drowning out the noises.

"Go away," I whispered desperately and hid my face into my knees, having bended them to my chest. I wrapped my arms around myself to shield me from the light and noises. It didn't help much.

"We need to talk! Bella!" I simply ignored him. I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to remember what happened at the coffee shop. I felt tears run down my chin and onto my jeans but I ignored it. Charlie stopped slamming his fists on the door but I knew he was still out there. Even if he was banging on the door, I could still feel him out there.

I sat there for a long time, I don't know how long. I only listened to my own breathing. It couldn't have been long for I heard Charlie move in my room and leave; he closed the door behind him. I lifted my head and looked towards the door. I made my way to it, crawling and standing on my knees; the right height for me to look out the lock. I removed the key. It was one of those really old ones. It was amazing there were houses with these kinds of things left. I looked out and true enough, my bedroom door was closed and Charlie was not in sight.

I put the key back and sat down again, but I put my back against the tub instead. The room was eerily quiet. The only sound emitting was my breathing and occasional cough to clear my throat of unwanted fluids, which was the result of my crying.

The light started burning my already sore eyes and I quickly got up and turned it off. It was almost black and I only saw with the help of the low light from the outside, through the tinted window. I felt my way down to the floor and my back was once again against the tub. It was cold but I didn't really feel it.

I stayed in the bathroom for a really long time. I didn't cry, I didn't sob, I didn't sniffle, I simply was. I didn't want _her_ to have any more of my tears. I promised myself I wouldn't cry and here I was, on the verge of breaking down… yet again. _Why_ did I do this to myself? Is there something wrong with me? Did I want to see the best in people or was I really just a huge pushover?

There were so many questions and I didn't have an answer to any of them. I knew what I wanted to say but I knew they wouldn't true. As my back started to hurt, I laid down on the fluffy dark blue carpet I had. I'd always thought it was ridiculous to have a carped in the bathroom. I mean, it's not like you're even going to spend enough time in there to need one to sit on.

But I stood, or rather laid, corrected. The fluffiness was comforting and I stared up at the patterns in the ceiling. The light coming from the outside made the raindrops on the window look like figures. I looked over them all, not really seeing them. Looking but not really seeing things were better than dealing with… whatever kind of problem you have at the moment. I knew it was wrong but I was an avoider and I knew it always backfired but I simply couldn't help myself.

I shivered slightly as the air in the room surrounded my exposed skin here and there. But I didn't get up. I barely moved except for the trembles which shook me. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to face Charlie. I didn't want to do anything except stay here, right on the floor.

Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I did register hearing my phone vibrating against the floor. Huh, must have slipped out of my pocket. I didn't pick it up; I stayed still and stared up at the ceiling.

It was colder now, the floor wasn't helping that either, in fact, it was the main source. We really should have installed floor warmers. They would get quite handy right about now.

The raining had stopped, only few raindrops would fall from the window. It looked like it was crying and I started questioning my sanity as I thought that the window was crying. I rolled my eyes and huffed in annoyance at myself. Why was it so hard to _not_ think about it? Well, any _sane_ person would talk about it but as I was clearly not sane, something I got more proof of every day, I stayed silent and still in my freaking bathroom! How messed up is that?

I heard my phone again and for the first in, what _must_ have been hours, I moved. I turned my head to the side and watched how the device, which was in almost the right level as my head, slightly trembled against the floor as it vibrated. It was ringing, that mush was obvious but the 'who' part, I was unsure off. As not that many people had my new number and I was sure Charlie wouldn't be calling me – although, it wouldn't surprise me – it could only be one person. But as it was, I didn't want to talk… to _anyone_. So I turned my head away and let the phone vibrate till it stopped. It soon restarted but I simply watched the pattern in the ceiling, how the sky drew darker and darker. Watching how the day changed.

But I couldn't fully concentrate on that as I heard the buzzing against the tile and it was slowly driving me nuts! He was good. I sighed and closed my eyes, willing the noise to stop and it did… for about 5 minutes. Then, it was the same ordeal again, and again… and again. I was loosing my mind and the only thing I heard in my head was that freaking buzzing!

I knew he wouldn't stop. While he stated he knew me, better than I thought; I knew _him_ better than _he_ thought. He was, on many occasions, just as stubborn as me, if not more. I knew he hated pineapple (bad childhood experience). I knew he broke his left arm when he was 12. I knew that he hated getting up early in the mornings. I knew that whenever he had something troubling in his mind, he would almost always turn and sit but his piano and play random tunes until they made sense. And these were just five random things.

While everyone avoided me during my first day at my new school on Virginia, he was the _only_ one who actually made any kind of contact with me. Granted, he probably only wanted to get into my pants at the time but strangely enough, that didn't matter to me. I knew, in the back of my mind – at the time – that, that was the case but I simply ignored it, willing it not to be that way and making it into something else. Being the outcast for so many times made me give up in the thought of friends after the 5th school I started at, in just 3 years. But Edward was the one to bring me out of my shell and I had everything to thank him for.

Thinking these things only made me feel guiltier for not picking up. The phone continued to buzz against the floor and I turned my head again, watching the device turn around in trembles. My hand ghosted its way towards the buzzing device and I grasped it, pulling it slowly towards my ear. I felt so weak, like the air had been sucked out of me. There was no need for checking the ID and so I simply flipped it open.

"Hello," I greeted groggily and my voice cracked with the lack of use. I cleared it and I thought I heard a sigh of relief on the other line, but it was gone as fast as I heard it.

"Bella," he said and my suspicions of relief were confirmed. "Why didn't you pick up?" He asked, truly concerned now.

"Sorry," I mumbled guiltily.

"Its fine," he dismissed quickly, moving on to another topic, one which I really didn't want to talk about.

"How'd it go?" I felt my lips start to tremble again as I recalled today's eventful afternoon. I sniffed as I felt tears roll down the sides of my face.

"Bella? What's wrong? _Please_ talk to me," I hated it when he pleaded, I could never resist him. I took a shaky breath and spoke in the weakest of whispers.

"It didn't go very well," it was all I said and I knew he understood.

"You home?" I nodded and felt stupidity roll over me as I knew he couldn't see me.

"Mmhm," was my lousy respond. I then sighed; I wasn't in the mood to talk.

"I have to go," my voice was pathetically weak and I cursed myself.

"Why? Bella, please talk to me," Ung! Why did he have to do that?

"I'll call you later," I didn't wait for his response as I flipped the phone close and turned it off. I went back to my previous frozen state but I let my eyes wander a little more now. I could see the ceiling, having my eyes adjust themselves.

My breaths came evenly, and I started noticing, again, how cold it really was in here. Usually, the fog from the shower would warm it up but now, feeling the very cold floor against my arms, they not lying on the fluffy carpet, I started shivering. I tried not to take any notice of it but as I started to feel my teeth trembling I was about to go back to my room.

But a flash of lightening, followed by roaring thunders made me freeze up and my heart jumped in my chest. I had never been a fan of thunder or lighting. Having been scared to death by it when younger, I don't think I really grew out of it, not in the way most kids grow out of childhood fears.

I found myself counting after each flash of lightning. I knew it didn't really matter how far away the storm was, but it was comforting in a small way.

_Flash of lightning_

_One _

_Two _

_Three _

_Four… _

… _Ten _

_Eleven _

_Twe- _

And there it was. So approximately twelve kilometers away. That wasn't too bad. Although, it's not really good either. How could it just come like this and-. Gah! I can't believe I'm 18 years old and I'm hiding in my bathroom because the thunder is scaring me!

"Ridiculous," I muttered to myself. I sat up, only to jump a few inches into the air as the thunder roared through the foundation of the house, making it appear to shake a bit. I felt myself tremble and I tried taking deep and calming breaths. They helped, till the next set of thunder came, and the one after that. I decided I had had enough and I got up slowly and quietly, and left the confined space of my bathroom.

I was greeted with warmth when I entered my own room. My shivering had stopped as I crawled under the covers, having changed into sweatpants and a hoodie without a zipper. I breathed in deeply and got a peach kind of smell. Must have been from my shower, the night before. I switched my shampoo to mix it up a bit. I don't know _why_ I was thinking of my shampoo now. Hmm… oh, right… the storm. And that brought me back to earth as I heard and saw, I might add, a flash of lightning and roar of thunder.

But I let my mind fix on the storm outside, which had just turned uglier as I heard rain fall, fast as hail but still soft enough to pass for actual rain. It was a nice distraction and I welcomed it with open arms. Well… technically. I snuggled closer into the matress, letting the softness of the pullows and my cover bring me closer to sleep and right on the brink of it, the lightning flashed, making me jump under my warm confinders. After my heart stopped racing and I relaxed, I drifted off into sleep. But it was not dreamless.

* * *

**AN: ****It's not as long as I wanted it to be but I thought it was good way of ending. I want to apologize for any errors and I'm very sure there are some. I really don't want to read through the entire thing again! I know, I'm lazy! **


	19. Preservation

**AN: ****Sorry it took such time, or maybe you haven't missed me yet. I had been having some mild writers block and the beginning was a little tough to write through. But none the less; here it is… **

* * *

_Preservation_

_This was all too familiar. __I wasn't in my room anymore and so I knew it was a dream. It was like the many others I've had. But I still felt that something was different. I didn't know what exactly, but something wasn't like it used to be. _

_It was the same scenery, kind of. I knew it was somewhere industrial, like before. It faintly reminded me of the warehouse I had been in before. It was amazing I actually remembered my other dreams in my new and current dream. _

_It was just me, I think. It was pretty much yet-black in the entire compartment and there was only one light turned on, above my head. This was just way too cliché, if you ask me. But even though I thought I was alone, I didn't dare move more than my head, barely even that. This was odd. Why, if I thought I was alone, would I not move? What a conundrum. I truly had a weird mind. But I always had my suspicions. _

_As if my dream was only here to mock me further, the first step I took made an echo but it wasn't an ordinary echo. It sounded like someone else was walking also, __exactly when I was. I stilled my movements immediately and tried to peer through the darkness but it was to no use, I could see nothing but I knew that if someone was out there, he or she could definitely see me. _

_I tried breathing as lightly and little as possible in and out of my nose. I didn't need to start hyperventilating because my mind was conjuring up all kinds of explanations on who might be here with me. All ridiculous, but this is what you get for watching horror movies when you're 10. Although, I almost laughed at the thought of either Jason or Michael coming at me in a warehouse. It just wasn't their style. _

_I heard someone or something, doesn't matter which, behind me and I swirled around too fast. I felt my head spin and I had to sway back a bit to not fall over. I backed away from where I thought I heard the noise, it didn't work. As I was just in the outskirts of the light, the person was behind me, lightly putting its hand on my shoulder. My shriek was caught in my throat and I backed away once again. I stayed within the circle of light and turned my head around every few millisecond. _

_Why was this happening? Again? I haven't had a dream like this for weeks and _now_ it makes its appearance. Is this because of Renée? Why would it? Nothing about her says she's dying to lock me up in a warehouse in the attempt to be in my life. As if the person, knowing what I thought, laughed and it sent my heart into palpitation. But besides being terrified and feeling my sanity must be checked out for I had not ruled out Jason or Michael anymore; there was something so familiar about that laugh. I couldn't pinpoint _what_ exactly it was but I _knew_ I have heard it before. _

"_Who are you?" I asked but he merely chuckled, for I knew it was a he, the laugh was too deep for it to be a girl, at my voice trembling. I didn't think that was funny. _

_But I got not response, in words, that it. The lights around me started to dim lower and I felt myself standing straight under the lamp but it barely left any light on now. I felt myself shiver and I had goose bumps but it couldn't be because I was cold. I wasn't. I wasn't even warm. Like all other dreams, no direct temperature could be pinpoint. It was strange, like it changed on how much I needed the heat/cold. _

_I don't know why, but I suddenly felt excited. It was like when you stand in the line for the largest and fastest rollercoaster there is at the amusement park. You're not really sure you want to go but you definitely don't want to leave the line. You wanted to see what the fuss is all about and most of the times; the rumors were true. This was exactly like that. _

_The light was so low right now I could barely make out anything in the huge compartment I was secluded to. My eyes took long time getting adjusted and I thought I saw, in the far back, a figure, standing by the wall. I found myself staring at this person, for I was sure it was a some_one_ and not a some_thing_. I had a suspecting feeling that he was watching me too. I couldn't see him in details; only the shadow of him. _

_It was clear he wore dark clothes. From the distance, I couldn't tell how tall he was but he wasn't on the heavy side, quite lean, actually, but not in a sickening way. I studied him and he was… holding the wall? What? His arm was stretched out on the wall, but… what…? As if he heard my private thoughts, the lights dimmed low and the flashed bright and I had to squint my eyes at the high definition. I heard a chuckle at that and then, all light were off. _

_My eyes were not at all prepared for this. They fought against the __darkness and it took a while before I could finally realize that the figure in front of me was not in front of me anymore. My lips parted in surprise but no sound came out of them. Where was he? _

_I started trembling again, suddenly feeling very cold. I didn't see or hear anything. I moved, took a few steps back, but no echo was made. Where was he? He couldn't just have disappeared, could he? What the hell am I saying? I want him here? _

_I thought it over and to my__ surprise; I wanted the figure here with me. I reasoned that it must be because I was all alone and didn't know what to do now. But even thought my reason made perfect sense, it sounded… false, fake? Yes, both in fact, but why? I don't know how to explain it but I felt… connected to this person. Obviously, he was the one in all of my dreams. That was the easy part to figure out. But the reason I wanted to know, is, why. Why would he haunt me? _

"_What the hell have I ever done?" I whispered it in despair, trying fruitlessly to find a reason why all these dreams, along with the mystery guy, were haunting me. _

"_It's not something you did," my heart made flip-flops in my chest and I put my hand over it, trying desperately not to go into cardiac arrest. __I turned in all directions but no figure in sight. This was getting ridiculous. Where was he? Why wouldn't he show himself? Was he that big of a coward? But I kept going back to hear his voice. I _knew_, I knew that voice. It was so familiar and I _knew_ who it belonged to this time. There was no barrier between his voice and me. But even so; no name came into my head. I could see the person in front of me but I didn't know, I couldn't say his name. My God was it frustrating! _

"_Where are you?" I whispered and at first I got not response and I felt frustration well up as I thought he was just screwing with me but then, I felt him, behind me. I gasped but I was unable to move. He had placed his hands on my shoulders, making it impossible for me to move an inch. He held me with force but it didn't hurt, at all. It wasn't in a way a rapist would hold his victim. I have no idea why I event thought that. I didn't know in what way it symbolized but it brought shivers up and down my spine. That feeling was all too familiar. But I still had no name for the man behind me. _

"_Who are you?" I only whispered in the tiniest of whispers but I knew he heard me. His fingers flexed around me, tightening their grip but it was not yet painful. It was at a force, which felt good. It was the only way I knew how to explain it, this familiar feeling. _

"_I can't tell you that," his response and his voice became clearer. _

"_Why not?" I asked stubbornly. _

"_You ask a lot of questions," he retorted and I snorted softly. _

"_Because you won't answer," I said back, stubbornly and felt his hands shake a bit, like he was chuckling but didn't want it to break through his, probably, clamped together lips. _

"_So stubborn," he muttered and a small chuckle escaped him. Yes, I know I'm stubborn! What does that have to do with anything?! Before I could let my frustration come out, I moved. Or rather, his hands. They lessened with force and only laid upon me now; barely gracing the skin which showed thought my t-shirt. I hadn't realized I was only wearing a t-shirt. _

_I felt and hea__rd him move closer to me and my back was now pressed against his chest. I shivered at the feeling and my eyes half-closed. His left hand stayed against my shoulder but his right went down the length of my arm, making goose bumps appear in its place. His left now made its way to the base of my neck and ghosted along the short length of it, making chills travel within my spine. _

_My body, acting on its own, leaned my head to the side, giving him more skin to touch. Even though I couldn't see him, I knew he had a smirk on his face, his movements seemed so smug. But I couldn't bring myself to actually care about that. I mean, come on! I was practically being felt up by a stranger whom I knew but couldn't name and besides… it's all a dream, I can enjoy myself in that case. _

_But then I thought of Edward. Even though this was a dream, isn't it cheating, if I know it's a dream? I know it's a dream and that another guy has his hands all over me, but even all this, I didn't feel any guilt. Hmm... strange. It wasn't because I didn't want to be with Edward, I did. Any girl within 10 feet of him wanted him; he's practically a living and breathing Greek God. _

_I felt a hot breath on my neck and shivered, and all my __previous thoughts vanished. All I could manage to concentrate on was that I now felt hot lips on my neck and I gasped in surprise. He wasn't kissing me but his lips moved over the lane of my neck and my eyes closed on their own account. His left hand was resting on top of mine and as my hand curled together, his followed my movement. I had to bite my lip in order to not moan, loudly. _

_Again, on my body's own account, though; I didn't mind, my head fell and rested on the strangers shoulder. He didn't' seem to mind either; in fact, he started making small butterfly kisses up and down my neck. My brow furrowed with confusion. Not that it didn't feel good because, believe me; it felt good. But it also felt familiar, too familiar. The body behind me felt familiar, the smell that escaped him surrounded me and then… I knew. _

"_Edward," I whispered and simultaneously, my eyes flew open._

I was lying on my side. My covers almost covered my entire figure, except for my head. I looked like I had cocooned myself in here, never to grace the outside world with my presence again. At first I felt disoriented and the aftermath of a headache I didn't know I had. I opened my eyes too fast to too much light and they instantly burned. I shut them close but the light still sipped through, I burrowed myself even further into the covers and laid my hoodie-covered arm above my head. Ahhh… that did it.

Even thought I was relieved I knew who had been haunting my dream. I was surprised, understatement of the century, to find it to be Edward. Why was this happening? I assumed that most of the things happened in the dream was metaphor, I still couldn't figure out what it meant. I know it was a dream and most dreams are stupid but I had this feeling that it was more than that. Why else would I dream about Edward? Okay… I knew _why_ I would dream about Edward but why in this way? True, it was a lot steamier than it had been before and I was kind of mad to be waking up at such a inappropriate time, but what's with the screwing with me with the light and why did I always have to run, or why were there something pulling me back? And better yet; why was the location always so filthy and industrialized?

Going over my thoughts, over and over again, I failed to notice the door creaking open. But I sure noticed and tensed up when I heard a voice.

"Bella?" My father's voice was soft and hesitant. I didn't speak but he didn't leave either. I felt the mattress change and then a hand on my side. I cringed away from him and even though I couldn't see his face, I knew he was hurt by my gesture.

"I'm not staying," he said and his voice was hurt and I felt guilty. Dammit! "I was just letting you know I'm leaving. I'm going fishing with an old friend I haven't seen for years," this left me stunned. Charlie doesn't fish. Well… we've never really lived in a place where you could fish, but I never thought of him as a fishing guy; sitting in the little boat and drinking bear with his old friend, whomever that might be. I opened my eyes but I still saw only minimum, them still being covered by my arm.

"I didn't know you fished," my voice was muffled but he heard. "Or had any _old_ friend," I emphasized the word 'old'. It was true; I had never really seen him having any specific 'friends'. Sure, there were people from work that he associated with but not real _friends_.

"I haven't for a long time and believe it or not, before the navy took up so much of my time, I did have time for friends," he chuckled and then sighed.

"I'll probably be home rather late," he sounded hesitant. As if he didn't know whether to leave, like if I asked him, he would stay.

"Okay," I said in recognition but I didn't move. I felt Charlie hesitate again, then got up. Before he left, he spoke again.

"And I know you're over 18 and almost an adult, but no boys in the house, while I'm not here, especially Cullen," he was still not really okay with Edward and I but he didn't say either his first name of last with distaste anymore. But never the less, I almost huffed out loud at the last comment. _If only he knew_, I thought but decided against openly voice my thoughts.

After a while, I heard the front door open and close and not long there after, the car of my father's started and he drove off. The sound softened until nothing could be heard no more. I slowly took away my arm, letting the light cast its way over me.

It wasn't sun; that much I could distinguish from not moving. The outside was probably filled with fog. I liked it better when it was foggy. For once; it was kind of cozy, in a non-creepy way, and second; it hardly rained when it was foggy, only slight drizzle came down and whenever the rain would make a disappearance, I was all for that.

My thoughts led me back to Edward and at the thought of him; I groaned and felt tears wanting to fall._ I can't believe I just hung upon him like that, _I thought with horror. I felt guilt sure through my body and it almost broke my heart. He only wanted to know what happened for Christ sake!

I rolled over and felt around on my nightstand, looking for my phone but after some frustrating seconds, I found nothing. What? I sat up on my elbows and looked over the almost empty nightstand. My brown crinkled in confusion and I looked over at the other table. But still no phone. Didn't I bring it back in here last night? Apparently not for I slumped myself out of bed and into my bathroom and true enough, there it was. Lying on the floor, shut off and almost all the way under the counter.

I picked it up and turned it on. I thought I would be bombarded with both texts and voice mails from Edward, demanding that I call him back and tell him what happened but when I turned it on, there was nothing. I was indeed surprised by this and I know I told him I would call later; it seemed out of character of him to _not_ call when I was upset. One time he even came to my house at 3 in the morning. Although, I can't remember what I was crying over then. As I stood in my thoughts, my phone vibrated in my hand and I received a text.

"That took long enough," I muttered and opened it. It was a voice mail and when I listened to it, it almost brought me to tears.

"_Bella. I know you said you didn't want to talk to anyone but, please, call me when you get this. You don't have to talk about it but, please love… __just call me."_

Then it ended and I could hear the pain in his voice and guilt wretched through me once again. I'm such a bitch! I couldn't have dialed his number fast enough. I misplaced several numbers several times. Frustration and annoyance took over me and I made myself slow down enough to press one button instead of 3 at a time. Once I finally made it, I held the phone up to my ear and waited.

I waited and waited but no answer. I hung up as I got his voicemail. WTF?!

"Where the hell is his?" I muttered and dialed again, with much more success than last time. After a few rings I was about to hang up and call again but an overly groggy voice stopped me from doing just that.

"Hello?" I almost sighed, even dead tired he sounded unbelievably sexy. But why was he so tired? Then I looked at the clock and almost choked… 6:30?! And the bitchiness keeps on coming?

"Hello?" He asked again, this time, with much more annoyance. He obviously hadn't looked at the caller ID.

"Edward," I spoke softly and I could literally feel him wake up and could picture him.

"Bella!" His voice was so relieved. What did he really think I would have done?

"I'm sorry I just hung up last night," I felt my face heat up at my own stupidity.

"It's okay, love. Its fine," while I still felt guilty, I was overly thrilled by him using the word 'love', like he had so many times before but hadn't said it before the voicemail and now.

"Really? Because I'm really sorry. I was upset and I just…" I felt some tears well over the edge, thinking about yesterday. Damn those traitor tears! I sniffed as quietly as I could but of course Edward heard.

"It's okay. It's fine. Don't worry about it," I sniffed again but not because of my bitchiness, but over the reason I did, in fact, hang up on Edward last night. Oh God! I don't even want to remember that!

"Bella," Edward spoke carefully. "Is your dad still asleep?" What? My brow crinkled in confusion.

"No. He's not even home," I heard a sigh of relief and was even more confused. "What's going on?" I asked warily.

"I'm coming over," was all he responded.

"What? No, Edward. It's 6:30 in the morning! You'll wake up the entire house!" I don't know why I was speaking in a hushed voice but I didn't care. He could wake everyone up! Although, I doubted Alice was still asleep, she was really an early riser. And Emmet was probably not even home for, as I understood, he spent most nights at Rosalie's. They really were weird, for Esme and Carlisle to let their kids always be out of the house like that and have their significant other over for visits in their rooms and beds but I guess it's better than sneaking around.

"No I won't. We're all heavy sleepers. Besides, I don't care if I wake them up. I want to see you," I could practically see his adorable pout and my self-control crumbled.

"Okay. Hurry, please," I muttered, anxious to see him now. We hung up after short goodbyes and I felt myself getting impatience for him to arrive. Deciding I looked like crap, which I did, I quickly stripped of my overly baggy clothes and got some more fitting ones. Jeans, always a good choice and a deep marine colored long-sleeved shirt. It clung a little too much to my curves and that's when I noticed it was one of the shirt Alice begged, or rather, forced me into buying.

As I couldn't wait anymore, I went downstairs and waited by the staircase. I couldn't believe how much I wanted to see him. Granted, I did still feel guilty for last night. Even if I was upset, I shouldn't have just hung up like that. And it was freaky how dependant and clingy I had gotten to him. Okay, clingy maybe wasn't the right word… forget that- clingy was the right word, but not in the negative way people normally use it. I found myself staring intently at the clock, mentally forcing it to go faster. It didn't, in fact, it seemed as it actually went slower. WTF?!

As I had just muttered out 'Where the hell is he?' the sound of an all too familiar car pulling up made me jump and I immediately shot to the window. It was Edward. I had an internal debate whether or not I should run out to meet him or wait for him to knock. I know I was being slightly pathetic in my neediness but I didn't care. I was upset and I _needed_ someone to talk to and Edward was that someone.

I didn't let him knock, though. I barely let him get up the porch before I opened the door, ran out and wrapped my arms around his waist. He was obviously shocked by my sudden appearance because it took a few moments before he relaxed and he wrapped his arms around me tightly. It was comforting; in fact, I wanted them to tighten, to never let go. Oh God! I had it bad, really bad. And I even sounded really corny in my mind. Gah!

We didn't move from the porch, even if the air was cold, I was warm around him and the minute I was in his arms, I broke down. I buried my face into his chest and breathed in his scent between sobs and sniffles as tears streamed down my face at an alarming rate. I vaguely heard him whisper soothing words to me but they never fully registered.

Before I could register it, we were inside, the door was closed and we were sitting on the staircase and I moved my arms, wrapping them around his neck instead, practically sitting in his lap. His moved to my waist and his hand rubbed up and down my back. He never questioned what happened; he only sat there with me, making me feel better.

Then I cursed myself, again. I said I wouldn't shed any more tears over… _her_. Yes, I was back to cringing or winching at the mere mention or thought of _her_. But here I was, on a path to breakdown and I felt sad, guilty, pissed, weak and remorseful but some part of me also felt joy. I don't think I have ever been so happy to have Edward here with me, soothing me. But my sobs soon came to a stop, only small coughs came through and I sniffled, a lot.

My cheeks burned with the moisture of my tears. I pulled way from Edward embrace, but only a little. He put a hand under my chin and tilted my head up towards his gaze; he brought his thumb under my eyes and took away some new tears. And still he said or asked nothing and I silently thanked him for it. I leaned my head against his shoulder and he embraced me again. I had to cough a lot to clear my throat of the unwanted liquid which had gathered there. As I was sure my voice wouldn't crack, too much, I spoke, breaking the silence which had been around us for many minutes now.

"She never wanted me," it was a tiny whisper from my mouth but it sounded like the entire house could have heard me. It took a few moments or minutes before Edward responded.

"I'm sorry, love," besides the fact that I had just been crying my eyes out, literally, my lips twitched at the word _love._ I had missed that so much. I hadn't realized I even missed the term of endearment.

"What happened?" Edward asked warily and hesitantly. I didn't answer right away and he took my silence the wrong way. "I'm sorry. You don't have to talk about it if you don't-"

"She said that she never wanted kids," I admitted in a muffled mutter. I leaned back a little and tried to wipe away my tears from my cheeks but new ones would fall a few seconds later so there was no use.

"And then she has the nerve to blame it all on me," I was getting mad now. Edward 's brow furrowed in confusion.

"What?"

"She said she left because I was never _happy_ around her and that I only cried when she held me. What the fuck is that for an answer?!" I was glad I got mad instead. My tears stopped forcing down and it was a little humorous to see Edward's surprise as I swore. I didn't swear all that much, mostly when the moment required it and this was _definitely_ one of those moments.

"She said that's why she left?" Edward looked at me with raised eyebrows and I could only nod, not really looking at anything as I remembered Renée's words from yesterday.

"She didn't want the responsibility and to get up at 4 in the morning," as I pondered the words I couldn't help but to let out a laugh. Edward watched me like I was insane or maybe on the verge of loosing my mind. I had changed three types of moods within 10 minutes… or was it 15? I don't blame him.

"Love, are you okay?" He watched me carefully, like I would have another breakdown within the next second. I was very sure I wouldn't but I didn't really trust my hormones right now.

"No… not really. But seriously Edward. How _stupid_ could she be to actually try to make it _my_ fault that _she_ left? I mean, she's an idiot. And now I have a solid reason for never seeing her ever again," this left me a little relief. I never _had_ to see her again.

"Bella-" Edward started but was cut of my stomach growling. I felt my cheeks heat up at how loud I was and Edward only chuckled.

"Let's get you some breakfast," he got up and grabbed my hand, dragging me to the kitchen. I had forgotten about eating yesterday. I only had breakfast and at the mention of food, I realized I was famished and really exhausted because if it.

"What do you want, love?" I almost sighed out load at _love_ but decided against it.

"You don't have to make me anything," he didn't, he shouldn't, actually. He does enough for me anyway.

"Nonsense," he said and opened the fridge, not waiting for my answer. I huffed a bit but sat down at the island without complaints.

"Besides," Edward muttered while he searched and obviously found something that looked worth eating. "I never get to spoil you with presents so this is the only way I get to do that," he grinned crookedly and it was a good thing I was sitting down. But never the less, I rolled my eyes at his comment. It was true that I didn't like getting presents, especially from Edward. I didn't need any of it. It only felt like he was trying too hard and relationships shouldn't have to be like that. Although, if he would buy me something sparkly, I don't think I would have the willpower to turn it down. Not that I would ever tell him that, or anyone, for that matter. He'd probably by me a white gold simple necklace with an emerald pendant attached to it, not that I had actually thought about any of this… that much.

He brought out eggs and for a second I thought about telling him to change his mind. I wasn't one to eat fried eggs and as he didn't bring out a boiler pan, I was assuming he would fry them but he surprised me again. He went to a cabinet and brought out… vanilla sugar? Followed by regular sugar. Pancakes? He was making me pancakes?

"Pancakes?" He looked up at me as he brought out the flour. "Seriously?" Was he made by God or something?

Yes, seriously. Besides, I'm hungry too. If you didn't notice, you were the one to wake me up," he smirked and my cheeks flared again.

"Sorry," I muttered. I felt a hand under my chin and I looked up.

"Don't be," Edward murmured, so closet o me that I felt, smelled and tasted him. "You can wake me up at 4 in the morning and I wouldn't care at all," he smirked at me and I barely had time to smile back, before his lips found mine. Before I could deepen it, he pulled away and chuckled at my pout.

"Breakfast," he remembered me and I simply pouted on, but it soon died away as I watched Edward work in the kitchen. He had his back towards me as he stood by the stove. I let my mind wander and one particular thought crossed my mind. Why does he even want me? It was a question I had asked myself often and even after blurting it out, much to my embarrassment, Edward had practically forced my mind to block out any thought concerning that question, saying it was absurd to even _think_ he wouldn't want me. But how could I not?

I mean, I was a broken and a somewhat weird new girl at the school and despite his first intentions; he wanted me, in different ways. A baffling occurrence, if you asked me. While he was a Greek God, I was plain and boring. He was loaded and I, well… I wasn't broke, we did have money but not in the extent that Edward and his family had. He was charming and could make your knees give out on you by just smirking and I broke down too often to count because of my unrealistically complicated life with its issues way beyond my maturity levels.

"Bella?" That one word brought me out of my reverie and I was looking at Edward, who wore a hesitant and worried expression on his very good looking face.

"Hmm?" I hummed my question and he simply stared at me for a seconds before laughing lightly and I stared at him in confusion.

"What?" I asked, annoyance coming over me.

"I asked if you wanted anything on them," huh?

"What?"

"The pancakes…" He trailed of and looked like he didn't know whether to be concerned or amused.

"Oh," I said stupidly. "Just raspberry jam," I responded quietly.

"What could possibly have put your mind into such a deep thinking process?" He teased and as I didn't know what to respond, I only stuck out mu tongue in an oh-so-childish way. He chuckled at me, which I expected. The both of us went to the living room, witching some sitcom we both enjoyed and ate, mostly in silence.

I wasn't sure how I was going to move forward now. At this moment, it wouldn't suck to be psychic. But I knew that if I had Edward with me, nothing too horrible could ever happen.

* * *

**AN: So it's a lot shorter than what I wanted. I was sort of going for 12**** or 13 pages but it'll have to do with 9, 5. –Sigh & pout– But at least I try. I don't know how long it takes to get the next chapter up but hopefully, if will be before next Thursday. School is killing me again and we have some work that's going to be handed in, in about 2 weeks and it's a lot of work. I'm sooo glad I'm graduating soon! Yeay! Goodbye institute! **

**Reviews are always appreciated. **


	20. Pushing

**AN: ****Sorry for making you wait so long. I don't know what happened but it's the holidays and well… you get lazy! I mean, a whole week + one day of free time is just fantastic! That's the only way I can put it xD. **

**I'm still not sure how many chapters there will be. Its difficult finding new and interesting intrigues to keep the story going. ****But we'll see. I can promise that there will be at least 3 more chapters, all – hopefully – about 6000 words. **

* * *

_Pushing _

"Hello my friend," I looked up to my left to watch Alice plop down on her chair in art class.

She had an unusually chipper mood towards her today, more so that what she usually has. It made me a little uneasy. She generally had this expression when she wanted something. Oh God! She didn't want to go shopping some more, did she?! I can't take that again! I know it was 3 weeks ago but it was an experience I really don't want to go through again, ever. I will _always_ have those memories as they are burned into my brain tissue. I doubt even Alzheimer's could clear it away!

"What?" I asked, dragging out the sound in hesitancy.

"Oh don't give me that look," she said with a mock-scowl. It's like she _knows_, I thought, channelling Peanut and almost laughed at my own silliness.

"What do you want?" She knew what I meant and turned to me with an innocent expression, too innocent. It was so alike the one Edward used at times; I didn't trust it at all.

"What do you mean?" Okay, now I knew she was keeping something away.

"You have that expression. Please don't tell me we're going shopping again," I pleaded and for a second thought I had just blown the lid of by actually reminding her of shopping. But she rolled her eyes at my frightened expression, which I was sure was plastered all over my facial features. I had never known before that I truly hated shopping. I would gladly live in my current clothes and not shop for another decade or so. Not that I would _ever_ mention that out loud.

"Honestly Bella, it was _not_ that bad. It's shopping for God's sake, not torture," I huffed and mumbled something I hoped was to low for her to hear.

"Easy for you to say," I wasn't successful, she heard and did such a lady-like sound; she snorted. But I also saw her lips twitch. I shook my head, getting off tracks.

"Beside the point. Seriously though, what's up? You look overly ecstatic. Did you have 10 cans of Red Bull or something?" I knew it sounded like was only teasing, which I was, but I was also concerned. Alice was definitely not a person whom needed the extra caffeine. She could have a heart attack before she's 25.

"No. It's just…" she trailed off and I watched her expectantly. "I know you don't like shopping, for whatever reason that may be," she got sidetracked with some thoughts, probably _why_ I didn't find her shopping habits… 'fun'. She snapped out of it pretty quickly, though. "But today or tomorrow, it is essential that we get it done this weekend or else we won't have time. I know we should have done it last week but Edward said I shouldn't-"

"What are you talking about?" I was really confused. What do we _need_ to shop for now? Alice looked at me like I'd lost my mind. "And what did Edward say to you?"

"Just that I shouldn't pressure you or something about the… you know…" she trailed off. I was at first confused but then thought over. Come to think of it, I hadn't heard her ask me _anything_ about the turnouts of that fateful Saturday. I knew it must be killing her not to know but I was very grateful. Alice went on almost right away, changing the subject. "Don't you know what date it is next Friday?" She talked really slowly, enunciating every word properly, like I mentally handicapped. I grimaced.

"Um…" I thought, and did the math in my head. "The 31st?" What's so special about that? Someone's birthday? That didn't seem likely. My phone was to remember stuff like that for me.

"Yes!" She exclaimed excitedly and did it in a way which made it obvious that I should know why that date was so important.

"So?" She looked at me in utter disbelief.

"_So?_ It's not just _a_ 31st, but _the_ 31st… of October. Does that mean nothing to you?!"

"Um… no… not really?" It came out as a question but I had honestly no idea what she was talking about.

"It's Halloween, Bella!" She yelled out and the teacher hushed her. Alice paid little attention to her and went staring at me.

"Okay," I said slowly, thinking why we would have to shop- "Oh no," I whispered I horror. Alice beamed at me; clearly noticing I had caught on. "Oh, no," I said again but this time it was more of a groan, but Alice simply continued to grin wildly at me. I really wanted to hit that grin off of her face, but I managed to restrain myself. We were in class after all, and I'm not sure what Edward would think of it.

"Oooh yes," Alice said happily and I could feel the waves of energy coming off of her.

"Why are you so happy?" I couldn't understand – yes I know this is _Alice_ – but _why_?! Did she truly hate me?! She says she's my friend but… friends don't make their friend do stuff they don't want to do!

"Bella," she started, condescendingly, I might add, like I was a child needed to be learned not to put my feet up on the furniture's. "It's only Halloween once a year. You _have to_ make it special," but I simply shook my head. As I was about to answer, our teacher, whom had obviously been watching us, called out to the entire class.

"Alice, Bella! Is there anything you would like to share with the class?" I could feel almost, if not all, eyes on us and I blushed, of course. Though, Alice seemed unharmed. Was the girl embarrassed about anything?

"No. we're fine," Alice said and it caused some to snicker. I hung my head low, letting my hair fan out, continuing drawing something I could not make out. I wasn't exactly paying any attention.

"So I was thinking…" Alice started whispering to me.

"Did it hurt?" I just _had_ to and the glare she gave me was funny enough to almost make me break down in the middle of class. Almost. But I settled for a mental one and visibly grinned.

"Haha, very funny," I thought it was. And apparently, the ones in front of us also thought so as I saw their shoulders tremble ever so slightly. That only caused my already grin to widen. I hung my head lower.

"I'm not going to a party, Alice," I tried saying it as sternly as I could but she had that smirk and I knew it would be tough, if not impossible, to make her mind change. I was never one for parties. Blending into the background and staying away from any attention possibly was within my comfort zone. Actually, I thrived in it, completely content. But dressing up in, I could only assume would be, very tight and very small clothes that couldn't even possibly be called clothes, I was not in for. Just dressing up in general was just… no! Skirts in general made me cringe, if it wasn't 500 degrees outside. Then I might make an exception.

"But of course. We all are… Relax Bella. It's just a party," she rolled her eyes at my horror of even _thinking_ of going to a party. But she kept talking condescendingly and rolling her eyes so often she must have a headache now.

I couldn't wrap my mind around it. Alice kept talking about different ideas of costumes, all sounding extremely… now, how do I put this… sluttish, trampy? There really was no _'nice'_ word but I think anyone could get the mental picture. Even if you didn't want it.

"And… if I don't want to go?" I said it as sternly as I could, indicating that I really didn't want to, even if it was a question.

"Why wouldn't you want to?" I could hear the obvious curiosity there and I didn't know how to say it. Why was it so difficult for people to realise that not everyone wanted do be dressed up and be out till 4 in the morning.

"I don't like parties. It's just…" I trailed off, not knowing how to respond. "I don't like them… okay?" Frustration was deep in my voice and I saw Alice wanting to speak again but shut her mouth and regained her drawing.

"Okay," she said quietly, for the teacher was studying us closely, obviously upset by out disruptive conversation. It's not like the rest of class weren't talking in hushed voices, or having their iPods and mp3-players turned on.

I was surprised how easily Alice caved. For a moment I didn't trust it, sure she would come up with a way for me to not say no or maybe another torturing shopping trip to make up for this devastating loss. But she said nothing, simply drew until class ended. I don't think I've ever seen her not say anything for so long, granted; it was only 10 minutes left of class, but still. For a moment I thought she wasn't talking to me because she was trying to guilt me into going, but that didn't seem likely… I think.

Both of us got up without really saying anything and left for lunch. Alice said nothing and it felt like she wasn't her normal eccentric-and-'slightly'-over-the-top-self. She just walked beside me quietly and after we were nearing our lockers, where we would meet up with Edward after his class ended, I lost it.

"Okay, will you please talk? It's freaky when you don't," I hadn't meant for it come out that loudly but it did. Alice watched me with amused eyes. But then she looked at me almost pleadingly. Oh no. She even started to pout.

"Bella," she started. I _knew_ she wouldn't just give up that easily. I groaned and shoved my head into my closed locker door, banging my head against it one time.

"Why are you so pushy on this?" I turned to her and gave her my most perplexed expression. "Why du you insist so much that we go to the fucking party?"

"Watch you language," I rolled my eyes. "Because, it's just a party. It's not going to kill you to go. It's fun to dress up," I snorted at that. But I couldn't blame her too much. She didn't grow up like I did. She was obviously a very girly girl and all that went with that. Dressing up was something she actually looking forward to and probably made happen several times, only to show off her new designer dress.

"It would mean so much to me," before I could answer, I felt a presence behind me, a hot breathe tickling the short hair of my neck. I turned with a smile.

"Hi," I said in a sigh and our left hands touched, entwining with each other.

"Hey," Edward returned, followed by a content sigh. We simply stood there for some time, I don't know how long, simply staring at each other. I knew it must have looked very corny and probably a little weird from the outside but at that moment, I couldn't seem to care.

"Oh God," I heard Alice groan lowly but I saw her smiling and knew she wasn't affected all that much. I tore away from the intense stare which Edward gave me and we walked towards lunch.

"So," Alice started and I simply looked at her in confusion. She sighed dramatically. "What about the party?" I groaned at the mention of that.

"Alice," I whined but it only seemed to make her eyes grow larger and her pout even more unbearable.

"Don't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do," I looked to my right and beamed at Edward. I mentally sighed, could he be anymore perfect? "Although," he continued and all I thought was; heh?! "It _would_ be fun… and I really want to see you all dressed up," his eyes shifted and it looked like he was watching something far, far away and as I saw his eyes gleam over, I elbowed him in the ribs. Though it was very lightly, he feigned the hurt and rubbed his ribs.

"So now both of you are ganging up on me?" I tried pouting but I didn't have the same affect. It was obviously a Cullen thing. So not fair! But at the sight of Alice's nearly heartbroken expression and the mental images I had of Edward in a Halloween costume – the possibilities were endless and I enjoyed each and every one of them, but then remembered that we were in fact in school – I felt myself caving to the pressure.

"Fine," I groaned and we all had to stop because Alice threw herself at me, hugging me tightly. How could one person, as tiny as her, be so freakishly strong? It was impossible. Or should be.

"But I can't promise I'll have fun," I didn't suspect Alice heard me. But one thing was sure, if I had to endure this, it was going o be on my terms. We made it into the lunch lane and Alice and I stayed a little behind Edward.

"Alice," she turned to me with curiosity. I felt myself whisper, though I didn't know _why_. "Just so you know, I will pick out my own costume and I _may_ be willing to have you help me with it and the getting ready part," I could see she was thrilled at it. "I said _mayb_e" her face didn't falter but I knew that what more I had to say, definitely would do the trick. "And the shopping trips, if there even will be more of those," I shuddered but shook my head. "Will be a maximum of 3 hours, with breaks," I saw her face fall and she looked in such despair but I wouldn't cave to it. "I can't go through that again Alice. I just can't," I was possibly overreacting a little bit but none the less, I was not in the mood, ever, for one of those trips, ever again!

I could se Alice despair but she sighed and mumbled out a 'fine' and we took our seat by the rest of the Cullen and Hales.

---------------------

"Oooo. I like this one," I turned around and looked at what Alice had picked out. Once I saw the "costume" I met Alice eyes and raised my brows, wondering is she's kidding.

"What?" She asked in a serious and innocent tone. Did she really not see anything wrong with it?

"You've got to be joking. I'm not wearing that," I pointed at it. "I said I'd go but I'm not going to be dressed as a hooker," I heard her huff in annoyance as she hung it back. Rosalie stood a little farther away from us, examining herself in a mirror with several choices in her hands. I couldn't criticize Rosalie. Thought the outfits were provocative and such, she definitely could pull it off. I really wish I had her confidence.

"Bella," Rosalie started, still sanding by the mirror, examining all costumes she had in hands. "You can't keep turning down every single costume in the entire store," Alice nodded along with her and walked away, probably to find another ridiculous piece of clothing.

"It's not like this was even my idea," I muttered and sat down on a stool. "I didn't even want to go," I knew I sounded like a little spoiled child whom always got what she wanted except to go to the amusement park. I frowned and looked down at my hands.

"Why are you so against parties?" I was surprised by the confusion and curiosity Rosalie spoke in. She was nice and all but we hadn't gotten along like Alice and I had. I always thought she kind of didn't like me but right now, she just sounded confused and I guess that she didn't normally feel this way.

"I-" I stuttered a bit and thought of how to phrase this without sounded weird. "Well… I never was around long enough to actually get invited to any parties where I used to live and besides, my father always kept me a little more sheltered than most kids grew up. So it never really was anything I participated in," I had never really said this out load and it really did sound a little pathetic. I sighed.

"Oh," Rosalie said." You're kind of lucky. You know that right?" She said after a few seconds. I was confused.

"What?"

"That you have a father who at least cares about you and what you do. Not many people have _that_, you know," I stared at her and was about to ask but something in Rosalie's expression made me hold my tongue. At that moment, Alice stepped closer to us with a number of costumes in her tiny arms. How could she not fall over? Did she even see where she walked?

"Here," Alice handed me everything in the pile and I looked in horror at her. Did she really want me to try on _everything_?

"They won't bite," Alice said with a roll of here eyes and a small huff of annoyance. I smirked at that. Maybe my current mood was a help for future shipping trips. I was pushed into a nearby changing room.

I found myself almost choking as the room was so small with so much clothing, plus me, in it. This was not a good time for claustrophobia. I shivered but started redressing. The faster I tried everything on, the faster I could get out of here.

"You done soon?" I heard Alice voice was impatient and decided to make her wait a little longer, just for the fun of it.

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered and then realised I needed help with tying all the loose strings on the back. How did this even look? As the mirror in the small compartment was not accessible, because of all the extra material, I had to step outside. And so I opened the door.

"Can you help me with tying all of these?" I asked Alice who stood a few steps away. Rosalie turned also and both of them looked like they couldn't believe their eyes. Did I really look that horrible? Then Alice squealed.

"What?"

"It's perfect, Bella. I swear! And it isn't all _that_ revealing," she stated.

I turned to look in the mirror.

It was a ballerina costume, sort of. It was almost completely in black. In the front, it had the same structure as the back of a corset, with blue material underneath. Alice came behind me and tied the strings. It was not too painful but there was pressure. Although, it made the allusion of me having some major push-up bra but not in a hooker kind of way. It looked actually kind of good. I hadn't seen the back yet but from what I could feel, it was all strings and it made it impossible for me to actually have a bra on. The skirt was black, though much smaller than the average ballerina skirt; I wouldn't have to be afraid of bumping into people. I did think it was too short but as I turned around to get the entire look – I was right about the back being all strings, by the way; it was from where the top started, all the way down to where the skirt began – it was actually pretty. I found myself actually liking the feeling. It wasn't uncomfortable. I didn't feel stiff, like I couldn't sit down in it. The top was held up by two thick stripes which were, in turn, held up by a small but elegant bow on each side. To complete the look, there were black, almost completely see-through leggings, going all the way down to my ankles.

I admitted to myself, that I didn't hate it. I liked it, a little – okay! A lot! I freaking loved it! If I had to go to the freaking party, this was the costume I wanted. I sighed to myself.

"You're right," I said to Alice. "It is perfect," I sighed, kind of hating that I liked it.

"But something is missing," Alice looked me over with pursed lips. She seemed to snap out of it quickly. "Heels! Of course!" I sighed. How could she love shopping this much? But then I winced at the sound of _heels_. I hated wearing high heels. They always made me trip over something, if not air. I would be a walking disaster. As I was about to tell Alice this, she would probably ignore me anyway, she was gone. I sighed again. I sat down on the stool, not changing. I knew she wanted me to look at the complete thing before making any decisions.

I looked around and found that Rosalie was nowhere in sight. I didn't have time to ponder that as Alice came forwards with probably 10 shoeboxes.

"Where did Rosalie go?" I asked before looking at the boxes.

"Probably looking around still. Come on! Open and we'll see!"

"Alice," I said warningly and she looked at me with innocent eyes. I had opened the first box and was not happy with the result.

"I'm _not_ wearing these," I held up the shoes which could only be describes as hooker shoes. They were dangerously high, too shiny and probably reached all the way up to my thighs. Alice sighed at my tone. I was not arguing this.

"You do know that Halloween is an excuse to look however you want and no one cares?"

"Maybe. But I _don't_ _want_ the added attention and with these," I held my hand to the 'shoes' "I will be 10 feet high and anyone could spot me 5 miles away," Alice rolled her eyes at my dramatic little speech but none the less, she moved to the next box.

There were a pair which I liked, they were pretty much welded to my feet – perfect – but it made my toes visible and I knew Alice would want to go and get a pedicure. Although, she might want that even though you can't see my toes. Damn! But the next box proved to be even better. It was a simple black pair. Black with a much smaller heel than the rest of them. They were also practically clued to my feet and I knew I could walk in them. Well… I could try, at least. As I tried them on, I sighed again. They were perfect with the dress.

"You look so pretty Bella," Alice said with emotion but then witched and smirked. "Edward's gonna _freak_ when he sees you," I blushed. How could she talk like that about her brother? I supposed they were all used to it.

After we'd paid for our things, my pile being larger than Alice and Rosalie's – whom had gotten back to us with a pile of something I didn't know or didn't want to know about. Apparently, Alice and Rosalie had already their costumes ready. How did they even have time for this with school and all? I know no one really does any homework on weekends but it seemed like every opportunity which cleared up was spent spending money.

As the clock was closing in on 5:30 p.m. we all decided to get something to eat. McDonalds wasn't my favourite place… but… the vegetarian burger they had was so good and so _spicy_. Freaking addictive! Alice had taken the Big Mac and co. I don't know how she could eat it all herself. She was so tiny! It seemed an impossible task to complete. Rosalie only got a Cesar salad with couscous and fried chicken pieces.

As I was about halfway through my delicious burger – we all know the middle is the best part – I could help but let out an 'mmm' in pleasure of the flavour. It was in the back of my throat but it didn't stop Rose and Alice from commenting.

"You want a room with that?" Alice asked teasingly with a raised eyebrow. Rose chuckled and I, feeling slightly agitated that they couldn't understand how this tasted because, according to them, this was 'rabbit food'. I couldn't' understand it! Rose had a freaking salad!

"With this burger I would," I smiled and went back to my love. I heard Rose 'tsk' me at that.

"What would Edward say if he heard you?" Her voice was filled with teasing and I simply brushed it off.

"I'm sure he would understand," I only had a small piece left and since I hadn't eaten my fries yet, I let it go and went onto the yellow potato sticks, dipping them in ketchup filled with black pepper. _So good_. I noticed Rose watching me with some disgust but it wasn't directed at me, it was at my food. She then shook her head with an incredulous expression.

"I just don't get it," that was all she said and it left me confused.

"Don't get what?"

"How you can eat that and still be so skinny," I was about to comment that Alice, whom had been eating just as much, if not more, than what I had, but, Rosalie seemed to know what I was about to say. "I know how Alice can. She's so bouncy all the time, up and down the stairs, or at all, for that matter. She burns off more than she gets," this was true. "But still… it's a little unfair," I didn't really know what to say so I chose my words.

"It's not like I eat this everyday. Or even once a week," I really didn't want to talk about my eating habits. It's not like I was anorexic or bulimic… but those months after Edward told me – I didn't want to think about that now - but when _it_ happened, I was kind of… I don't know… I was sad and angry and I just didn't have the energy to even care about eating and I admit… regretfully, that I lost weight… okay, it wasn't little, and it wasn't in a good way. The scariest thing was that I really didn't care before. I didn't care if I ate or anything. I just went through the motion of sometimes sadness and sometimes anger. It just wasn't important with even caring of how I looked.

"What are you going to be dressed as?" I asked the both of them, changing the topic and pulling the spotlight off of me.

"I'm gonna be a fairy, of some form," Alice informed me. It suited her well, I had to admit. She definitely fit the part, being as short as she was and her haircut also allowed the illusion of a pixy or fairy or whatever. I nodded in agreement. "It's so cute!" Alice kept gushing but I heard nothing more. I didn't really care about the party and it left me feeling a little guilty. I could see that Rose and Alice were excited about it but I simply couldn't find their enthusiasm.

Rose then went on. She was being dressed up as a nurse and as soon as I heard the word 'nurse' I almost sighed. It was so cliché. And I could only guess that Emmett would be dressed up as a sort of wounded soldier, or something. But then I remembered a very crucial detail. Where the hell was the party? I hadn't heard a single thing about the location.

"Alice," I said and she stopped speaking, looking at me inquiringly. "Where are we going anyway?" She looked at me like I'd lost my mind and I sighed. Did she really think I was that forgetful or… idiotic? "I mean… _where_ are we going?" She seemed to pick up but all she did was shrug. A shrug? What the hell does that mean?!

"It's at our house," I blinked. What?

"How come you didn't tell me this before?"

"You never asked," Alice said with another shrug. I was about to speak again but she cut me off. "We usually hold a party at Halloween. Mom and dad always go away that weekend and… so it's an opportunity that you simply can't miss," I did feel a little better knowing it would be at their house but I was still confused.

"How many do you think will be there?" I knew my voice gave me away.

"Forget it Bella, it's a lot… I don't know… I haven't counted," I still didn't know how I could have missed it.

After we'd eaten we decided that the day was over and I was so glad, my feet were killing me! We had been walking for 3 hours straight and I was so tired I think I would pass out on the couch.

True enough on my own word, the minute I was inside, I dropped my bags to the side and plopped down on the couch, face down, and I felt my muscles and feet particularly groaning with the day. I groaned out loud also and cracked my neck and relaxed further into the couch. I knew it wouldn't be long before I was asleep. As I had closed my eyes, finally letting the exhaustion take over, it really had been a long day, I was waken up with a jolt.

_BANG! _

As I sat on the couch I took deep and calming breaths, trying to get my head to stop spinning. I looked to the right and in the kitchen stood my father, straight home from work.

"Dad, what the hell. You scared the shit out of me," my head pounded with the pulse and I pressed my temples, trying in vein to stop the headache.

"It's only 6:30," Charlie stated.

"Yeah. Well I'm really tired. Alice and Rose practically killed me with shopping today," I laid down on my back, trying to relax again but then the lights came on. I groaned again, much louder now and it was clear it was a groan of annoyance.

"We'll you don't have time to sleep," I opened my eyes but shielded them with my hand until they adjusted to the light.

"What? Why not?" I whined like a 3 year old but I simply couldn't care right now.

"We're having dinner at my 'old friend's' house. The one I went fishing with," I stared at him, wondering if he was kidding. Hadn't he already eaten?

"I already ate at the mall," I stated, not at all in the mood to leave the house, or even the couch, for that matter.

"Where did you eat?"

"Donald's," I said in laziness. I didn't feel like getting interrogated right now. Couldn't he wait till I had slept for… I don't know… 16 hours?

"Donald's?" And the schmuck doesn't get it! "I'm not familiar with it," I roll my eyes but he can't see it.

"_Mc_Donald's," I emphasize and Charlie makes an 'oh' sound and I just silently say; 'thank you God!!!!' but really! Who wouldn't get it?!

"That's not good for dinner," I snorted loudly.

"It is on every other day. Dad, we use to eat junk food and such a lot before," why was he pushing this?

"Come on now Bella," Charlie said and I felt annoyance to another fight build up inside me. "It's rude if I only show up alone. You don't have to eat much if you don't want to. And besides, he had a son about your age so you won't be alone," I didn't miss that last sentence or _how_ Charlie said it. I narrowed my eyes but he left the room before I could question him on anything. I was really tired and maybe if I went without a fight, we could leave early. I lay down again with a sigh, but was brought back to reality by shouting.

"Bella! Come on! We're supposed to be there in half an hour," I sighed, which turned into a groan and got off, trudging my way towards the door and pulling my shoes on … again. My feet hurt and I felt new sores forming and I groaned at the slight burning around them. _Great_, I thought sarcastically.

"We're not staying long," I warned but Charlie had already left the house. "Who are we going to anyway?" I asked when I reached him at the car. Irritation was firmly in my voice and I intended to keep it that way.

"Billy. Billy Black," hmmm… didn't ring any bell. "An old friend from high school. Haven't talked to him in a long time and, well…" Charlie trailed himself off. The ride over was spent in silence but I failed to notice if it was awkward. I was simply too tired and on a point, the car got too warm and too comfortable that I fell asleep.

It felt like just a second ago I fell asleep, literally. Until I was awakened in the least comforting way. Charlie pushed me to an awakened state. I groaned, trying to push his hand away to get back to sleep. But he wouldn't have that.

"Bella. We're here," I groaned again and opened my eyes. It was pretty dark outside so I couldn't see much but I knew that there were a lot of trees around the place. I saw the house clearly, the light inside brightening it up. It was a small house, it looked cosy but if it were me living here, at this time when it's this dark, it would feel a little creepy. I yawned and opened the door.

There was a cold breeze and it made me shiver to a point where I had to bring my arms around myself to make it a little warmer… I didn't succeed. I could smell and almost head the roar of the ocean. Must be only minutes away. The sound of the car's lock clicking and the flash of light that came with it made me jump and I hurried alongside my father up the steps of the porch.

I yawned again, loudly, as the door opened and I heard a chuckle as I was finished yawning the loudest yawn… _ever_, I saw who was there. It was a boy; probably the one Charlie mentioned was around my age. Although, he seemed very mature for his age. I couldn't deny that he was cute, the darkened skin, long hair and dark, almost black, eyes made him very good locking. But he didn't have anything on Edward. At the mere mention of his name, thought mental, I sighed, also mentally.

"Come in," the boy said in his deep but yet youthful tenor. I walked in and was immediately greeted with warmth and a strong food-like smell. It's not to say that it smelled bad but I was still so full from the burger that it made me a little nauseous to even think about eating anything else. Interesting how one meal could be so fulfilling. I almost laughed, that sentence could have so many meanings.

"Jacob," Charlie greeted, extending his hand towards Jacob. The name did suit him, I had to admit. It, being quite young, but could also entail an older side, described him well.

"Mr. Swan," Jacob greeted and at that, I almost laughed. Hmm… how many times had they met before?

"Please, call me Charlie," Charlie said with a laugh, hanging up his coat and doing the same to mine after.

"Charlie," Jacob said in agreement and then, his eyes shifted to me. He stood there for a moment, just watching and I, not knowing what to say or do, simply stood there. It seemed longer than it was when Charlie had finally managed to get out coats away and his shoes off, when Jacob finally met my eyes. He had a warm smile and I simply smiled back, thought mine felt much smaller and a little forced. He seemed altogether nice.

"It smells delicious in here," that made Jacob shift his eyes away and I suddenly felt… relieved. Huh, weird. He was just looking. Although, that sentence sounded odd. Jacob smiled and before he moved to– what I assumed was – the living room, he looked at me again; I simply smiled back, thought it felt more genuine now and followed him.

The house had a lot of woodwork in it; it faintly reminded me off a cabin. It had a second storage but as I could see, there were only two doors, probably a bedroom and a bathroom.

"Where's Billy?" Charlie asked as we were in the very warm room.

"He's in the kitchen," Jacob responded, looking intently at Charlie but diverting his eyes at me from time to time. "Making some final things on the food. Hope you two are hungry, there's a lot of it."

"Of course!" Charlie laughed and patterned my shoulder before he left for the kitchen. I mentally shot daggers at him. I didn't even think I could get anything down, except some drink. I was quite parched.

"Isabella, right?" It was like the first day of school, all over again. I turned and saw Jacob watching me.

"Yeah. But please… just Bella," Jacob smiled at me again and looked like he was about to start speaking again when the unfamiliar voice of Billy Black, I presumed, came to our attention.

"Dinner!" I sighed before I entered the room which was filled with the scent of chicken – I assumed. It still made me feel like I just ate a freaking buffalo. It was a good thing the conversation flowed greatly, thought mostly only by Billy and Charlie, except when Jacob and I got some random and easy-answered questions. I simply played a little with the food on my plate and drank a lot of water, which I could not get enough of. How could they have it so warm in here and not suffocate?

I was surprised when Jacob, all of the sudden, started talking to me. Granted; it was small talk but it quickly grew and I quickly noticed I really liked him. He definitely was someone I was comfortable around, a good friend. I noticed Charlie looking at the two of us from the corner of his eyes every now and then, but never breaking focus altogether from Billy. Weird.

But as time went by and I was practically falling asleep at the table, Charlie kept making small statements here and there which led to long discussions. This took my thoughts to _why_ he had been so pushy about coming here. He couldn't seriously think that- I mean, Jacob was nice and all but did Charlie really think I would meet Jacob, fall in love with him and immediately dump Edward? Maybe it was just my head being paranoid, I was so sleepy I thought I would, at any moment, start seeing pink and blue elephants.

But when my head almost hit the top of the wooden bench, leaning against my hand as my elbow was perched on the table, I was snapped out of my momentarily exhaustion and I heard Billy chuckle. U blushed slightly, wondering if I offended him. Though, I don't know why he would be chuckling then.

"You better go. I think Bella here will fall asleep at any moment," I weakly smiled but silently thanking Billy for pointing this out to Charlie, even thought it was _very_ obvious. I was really going to yell at him… in the morning. I had not strength enough for it tonight.

We said our goodbyes and we got in the car and drove home. The car was chilly at first but that was fine, after the heat inside it was relaxing with a bit of coldness.

"So…" Charlie started and I looked at him, already feeling my eyelids dropping. But I was still annoyed with him.

"What?" My voice was weak but I managed to get some annoyance in there.

"Jacob seems nice?" He stated it as a question.

"Yeah," I said breathlessly. "He's nice. Billy is too," Charlie nodded along and I could see him wanting to say something else but let it drop. For that, I was glad. I don't think I could have talked anymore, even if I wanted to.

As we got home, I hung up my coat messily, threw of my shoes, not even bothering to untie them and went up the stairs. I wobbled a little as I stepped into my room. I felt my eyelids almost dropping at the mere sight of the bed. I stripped of my clothes and only grabbed an oversized t-shirt and went to sleep. That might have been a little understatement; I more, passed out as soon as the shirt was over my head. I didn't care about brushing my teeth; I could do that in the morning. I just wanted sleep.

* * *

**AN:**** I have one time – well... plenty but one in particular – when me and my mom were at my aunt (my mothers sister) and my cousin for Christmas, I think, or maybe new years… doesn't matter. Anyway; I was dead tired and my mom could obviously not take the hint and so I was on the verge of falling asleep any second. So there's some own memories in there. I'm sure you've all been through something like that. **

**It's difficult to come up with ideas when a story is pretty much told and hence; the Halloween stuff.**** Like I wrote before, there will definitely be at least 3 more chapters more. And I'll try to make the updates come faster but it's hard. Next week will be extremely hard in school, the project will be handed in, well… what's finished, anyway, and I have to write and so on. I think I wanna die if I ever hear the word Technicolor ever again! **


	21. Presence

**AN: ****My God this took time! I'm really sorry for making you guys wait. I'm getting annoyed with myself for my lack of focus and update. But anyways, here it is, **_**finally**_**. **

**As you may se, this as been re-rated as "M" which means steam and loads of it, I dragged it out a lot… so if you're sensitive or something, you might want to skip the last part. But to another matter; to be honest with you all, I'm getting a little tired of this story now. I know that's probably horrible to say but I want to move on now but I will finish it, that I can promise! But to the story now! **

* * *

_Presence _

I stood in the middle of the room, blinking. I didn't dare move as I feared this would be like one of the things you se on the animal planet. A sudden move may disrupt the activity and bring attention to yourself and then you get killed and eaten. As Alice voice droned on and on about accessories and colours and the God-awful "dilemma" on which underwear would be more appropriate, I simply stood there, not really hearing her voice as I could only think one thing; what the hell happened in here?!

As soon as the front door had been opened, I was rushed out of the hallway; not seeing any of the decoration which I knew was up. I did, however, see dark colours flashing before my unfocused eyes. Anyway, I was brought up to Alice room to get ready. Though, I don't know why I was here _now_. It was only 4 p.m. The party wasn't until 8. It couldn't possibly take 4 hours to get ready. I said I would _maybe_ want Alice's help in some way but she couldn't have taken it too literally, right? I shook my head, getting of track to the scene before me.

The room I had been in before which Alice stated was hers was not the room I was in now. Granted, technically, it was the same room but now it was just... I had not words for it. Clothes were thrown all over the place, but mostly on the floor. There was another reason for me not wanting to move, I had noticed that shoes also inhabited the, previously, hardwood floor and it was painful if you stepped on them. Think landmines.

But the clothes was not exactly what worried me much, thought it was a huge part. The desk which used to be the home of her computer, now held make-up… and loads of it. Apparently, her vanity table wasn't big enough. I didn't even know so many different products existed. It seemed larger than the average store's supply.

I, carefully and slowly, made my way over to the desk and looked over some of the merchandises. There were like fifty different kinds of mascara, a hundred bottles of lip-gloss and probably five hundred different kinds of blushes, foundations and power. My God! I barely ever used mascara, let alone foundation and lip-gloss!

"What do you think?" At first I thought she meant her room which I didn't know what to answer to. Maybe the aftermath of the atomic bomb which hit Nagasaki or Hiroshima? But not a room to live in, or even sleep in, for that matter.

"About what?" I asked, completely disoriented, looking up at my pixie friend. Alice looked angry by my obvious lack of focus. But come on! I hadn't even gotten the chance to see Edward today! My concentration was flown right out the window.

"Haven't you been listening to a word I've said?" She spoke calmly but I could see the truth underneath; she was frustrated and a little pissed. Obviously, she had no patience. But I didn't listen again for there was a much more pressing matter to attend to.

"What happened to your room?" I looked around and it still struck me as hard as it did before. Alice nodded a little, seeming a bit unsure but not really affected.

"I know… it's a little messy but I'll fix that fast… later," I turned to her with disbelieving and incredulous eyes.

"A little? Alice… I'm wondering weather or not an atom bomb exploded here," Alice, of course, simply rolled her eyes at my dramatic theatrics and turned for her closed, that I was sure, had no clothes left in it.

"Come on Bella! We have to get ready!" I was stunned.

"What? Now? Alice, its only 4 o'clock. It's not until 8 tonight," Alice looked at me like I had three heads.

"If we don't start now, we'll never finish!" She said it like it was the most basic knowledge known to mankind. Well it wasn't. I don't see how it could take that long. "I mean… there's hair, make-up, plucking, waxing, showering-"

"Whoa! Alice! What are you talking about? I already showered and I'm not wearing that much make-up and what the hell with the "waxing". I'm wearing leggings and I've already shaved my legs-" I had no time to make any further statements or questions for Alice cut me off.

"First of all; It's a party and at parties, you dress up and actually look nice," I grimaced. It's like she said I looked like a hobo in my regular clothes. To her, maybe I did. "Second of all; you _promised_ me I could do your make-up and hair," I simply shook my head. I knew she would turn that around on me. "Thirdly; you're not wearing leggings… but stockings."

"I said that _maybe_ I would want your help. That doesn't mean I want all this," I gestured towards her computer and vanity tables. "I will wear _light_ make-up and you may do it… _Light_," I reminded her in a steady and warning voice. "And I thought you said the leggings looked nice."

"I did but the stockings will look so much better," Alice took some time assessing me and her eyes rested on my head, observing my hair. "But what about your hair,?" Alice sounded like she was afraid. My God! It's just a freaking party! So what if I wanted to wear it down? "Just... please… let me have it in a _nice_ ballerina due-up. Please," I groaned but it was in defeat and Alice squealed and hugged me.

"You're going overboard with this."

"Actually, I'm going under-board-"

"I don't think that's really a word," I had to, again, and the glare I got in return made my shake with unshed laughter.

"Just wait till Rose gets here. She'll take my side," I don't think those last comments were meant for my ears so I held my tongue. Alice disappeared into the – I would assume – empty closet and I walked towards it and stopped suddenly. It wasn't empty, not even half. Oh my God! This must have been a second bedroom or something.

"Alice, I think you may have a problem," she thought I was teasing the way she laughed but I wasn't... Maybe just little. The "room" had shelves and shelves worth of shoes, bags and clothes; dresses, pants, tops and jackets. Why would she even need to shop? She had a whole mall right here in her own house… in her own room no less! I rolled my eyes and exited. I dumped my bags on the bed and sat down. I was spending the night. I had a hard time letting Charlie agree to that, though. How could he not trust me? I should be the one not trusting him and he could have some faith!

I waited for the shopping nazi to return from looking for – whatever it was she was looking for and studied the hundreds of products again. I shook my head, why would she even need all of this? Her skin was perfectly pale and her hair always looked like it came straight from the catwalk. As did her clothes, by the way.

"This all you brought?" I turned and watched as Alice looked at horror at my two bags. One was the main one, where my clothes were and the other was smaller with my daily necessities like cell phone, mp3-player and so on. But Alice then looked like she was about to look through the small one and I had to taker her mind away from it. She couldn't not look in that bag.

"I'm only staying to tomorrow, not a week," my distraction must have worked. She forgot the bag and turned towards me with an apprehensive look.

"But still," she left the bags alone and I breathed out a breath of air in relief.

The rest of the coming minutes – or so, I had no recollection of watching the clock – was spent in agony of fighting. I had to rein in Alice a lot of times. She was not budging on making my make-up. I was standing my ground on this and we were glaring at each when the door opened and Rosalie walked in.

"Whoa. If looks could kill you'd both be dead," neither Alice not I found the joke funny nor moved or look away. We both went on, ignoring Rose, to a point which I was sure was rude but I couldn't care right now.

"It's not up for discussion Alice," I almost growled the words. She had agreed before! "You agreed to my terms. You can't change that now," Alice glared at me some more before responding.

"First of all; we _will_ discuss this and second of all; I didn't think you would be completely none flexible," I snorted and huffed incredulously.

"Not flexible? Letting you even do _any_ of my make-up is flexible. I didn't even want to go to this _thing…_ but here I am! I say I'm done being _"flexible,"_ Alice opened her mouth but closed it as Rosalie spoke.

"What are you talking about?" I was about to respond when Alice – aka; the traitor – almost yelled it out for her.

"_She_," she pointed her freshly manicured nail at me, "won't let me do her make-up," I gaped at her. I knew we sounded like children but in technicality, we still were.

"WHAT?! I already said you could... Just not the exact way you want it to be."

"Not exactly?! You only want mascara, eyeliner a _dash_ of gloss and _maybe_ eyeshadow," why was she so pushy?! She had to know she couldn't get _her_ way _all_ the time! As if Rosalie heard what I thought, she spoke for the second time in observing Alice and mines fight.

"You know, Bella. Alice is used to getting what she wants. She's very stubborn. Maybe you should just let it go," Alice looked smug but I wouldn't budge on this.

"Unless you agree to this I won't let you do _any_ of my make-up," her mouth fell open with an audible gasp. "And I'll do it myself," another gasp. "_If_ I feel like it," it looked like Alice stopped breathing. "Which means I could simply… skip it," I think I even saw her turn a little blue. She then got it together and scolded me stronger than before.

"Listen and listen good. You don't get to walk out of this room looking the same way you do now and you _will_ walk out of here," she had seen my means of protesting that. Dammit! "Don't you want to look at all nice," I huffed and gaped at her.

"I didn't mean it that way," Alice quickly said, sounding remorseful. I shook my head slowly contemplating if I should sell my soul.

"Fine," I said and Alice looked happy and hopeful.

"Fine?" I nodded. "So you'll let me do your make-up?" I nodded again. Alice squealed and lounged at me, giving me a tight hug. Screaming her thanks at me.

"But it will be done _my_ way," that stopped the pixies ranting and she froze again. But instead of glaring at me she looked like she was about to cry; pouting and looking up at me with those big doe eyes. She had done this before. But this time she wouldn't get her way.

"_My_ way," I said again as she continued pouting. When she soon realised I wouldn't budge. She threw her hands up in the air.

"Fine!" She yelled in annoyance and I smirked, pleased with myself. Alice disappeared into her closet again and Rosalie came closer.

"Wow. This should have been caught on tape as evidence," I looked at her confused. "Alice usually gets what she wants and I don't have memories of her not having her way," I shrugged my shoulders.

Getting dressed and ready was a fast ordeal... for me anyways. I was done in half an hour with my costume (it was a little tricky with the back). Rose and Alice were still doing their make-up. I sat on the bed, watching them. They took their time with everything but it still baffled me how time grew fast and they were still only on foundation. I shook my head slowly and felt something near my leg buzz. I pulled out my phone and open it. I smiled as I saw who the text was from.

_How's the "torturing" going? _

I laughed shortly and replied.

_Not so much torture actually__… yet. They are still doing foundation and I'm simply sitting here in my lonesome. And don't air-quote it. Alice way usually is torture. You don't know what it's like _

It didn't take long until I got a reply.

_You do realise she's my sister__ right? I've have to endure "her way" for 18 years _

I tried to picture it but came up empty.

_She really took you shopping? _

I was very disbelieving.

_She once burned __or gave away all my shirts so I _had_ to shop. She is evil _

I laughed at that. I now could mentally pictured it and I fell back against the clothes-covered mattress, giggling.

_It's not nice to laugh__… even though it's very cute_

I stopped and froze, sitting up a bit.

_How'd you know I was laughing? _

His response took less than a minute to get back.

_I do now. _

I could almost see that breathtaking smirk on his face. I was about to write something back but got interrupted.

"Bella," I heard pixie whine.

"What?"

"Stop goofing around and get over here. You'll see him soon enough. You will take least time with this," Alice grimaced at that and I simply smiled. I put my phone back, securing it in my bag and made for the vanity. As I sat down in the chair, Rose stood behind me and Alice at the front.

"How do you want your hair?" Rosalie asked.

"Wow! I get to choose?" I asked sarcastically and added a gasp in dramatic effect. Alice glared at me and I sighed.

"Do the ballerina look Alice wanted," Alice face shone up.

"Of course," both of them got to work and worked fast. After a while Alice stopped what she was doing to ask if she could pluck my eyebrows, just a little. I rolled my eyes, but was glad she took me seriously now.

I was done soon and went to put on my stockings which Alice had handed to me. They ended right above the skirt line. It actually looked kind of nice, subtle. I put on my shoes at last, making my look complete. I took a few steps – which I noticed wasn't hobbling, success! – and looked into the full-length mirror. I hated to admit it but it was, for a lack of better words; perfect. And I really hated to admit things were "perfect". Alice had complied and made the make-up very subtle and my hair was up in a ballerina bun. But it had some small hair strains falling around my face, curled; making it appear a little messy but beautiful none the less.

"Up to your standards?" I heard Alice ask, still a little annoyed. I turned around with a smile and nodded.

"Yeah Alice. It's perfect," she smiled at me and went to get her own costume. Rosalie returned from the bathroom, which I didn't notice she had gone into in the firs place, in her costume. I had been wrong in my assessments before. Being a nurse at Halloween may be a cliché but Rose's costume was anything but. It was old beige coloured, with red stains all over. It was short, right by her mid-thighs. There was a sort of belt at her midsection and it made her already thin waist appear even more pronounced and minimal. She completed the look with a nurse hat over her curly set of hair and some beige heels were the last touch.

"What do you think?" She twirled around for effect.

"You look amazing, of course," it was ridiculous to think that Rosalie, having the looks of a supermodel, could look anything but perfect at all times. "Emmet's really gonna love it," I told her with a laugh. I was sure I wouldn't be seeing them for most parts of the night. She giggled with me and stood by the mirror, fixing some nonexistent wrinkles here and there.

I found myself a little transfixed by my own looks. I know it sounded very arrogant and vein but right now; I thought I looked gorgeous and I was going to thrive in it. I even was a little excited about what Edward would think of it.

"How do I look?!" Alice had apparently stepped out of the closet, fully clothed in the most amazing pixie outfit I had ever seen.

"Amazing Alice," Rosalie commented as Alice spun around in a circle. The dress was strapless, made in the lightest of green. With a lighter shade or yellow around the cleavage and bottom with a bit of sparkle at the bottom. It was very similar to Tinkerbelle's. It was, in true Tinkerbelle fashion, very short and the look was perfected with lean wings at the back and sparkly flats at the feet. Much more fitting than heels. Her hair, being as short as it was, was styled to stand out in all directions.

"Rose is right Alice," I said in truthfulness.

"Shall we ladies?" Alice asked. Rose nodded as did I but mine was much less noticeable. I suddenly felt nervous. I don't know why, though. It's just a party. But it didn't feel like that was the real reason. I took a deep breath and we made downstairs to an already filled out house.

I couldn't believe how many people showed up! At first I was worried we all might not fit but the house appeared to enlarge with the inhabitants and the problem was solved. As we came downstairs, I immediately started looking for Edward. I didn't know how he would look so it was a challenge. Alice, being the little devious pixie that she is, wouldn't let it slip by her to tell me who he would be.

I stood on the first step, still, looking over the sea of people's heads. There were so many I don't think I would ever find the right way out later. But I did look to admire the work Alice had put in. the place did look amazing. It was dark, obviously, with the "creepy" kind of light, all dimmed down. There we're smoke, covering the floor slightly. Fake cobweb was everywhere and to be truthful, it did look unnaturally real. All kinds of ornaments were strewn around the rooms and it faintly reminded me of and haunted house, the good kind where people follow you to scar you, not the crap where you sit in a cart for the entire ride.

"Where are the guys?" I asked, looking all over the place but not spotting any of them. Granted, I knew not how none of them looked like, that was frustrating.

"I see Jasper and Emmett right over there," Alice pointed to a place by the kitchen. True enough, Emmett was dressed as a wounded soldier and Jasper; looking strangely familiar to Peter Pan **(I couldn't find any pictures… at all! Very frustrating indeed, so you'll have to be creative).** But one was missing and where the hell was he?!

Alice and Rose soon left but I was stuck. I was sure that once I was inside the flood of people, I wouldn't be able to find my way out and finding Edward would then be a problem.

I sighed in frustration and made my diction of moving within the crowd. It was very crowded. Around people were either talking or dancing. Though, I didn't think it could really be called dancing, it was more like grinding.

"Bella. Hey!" I turned to see Jessica come my way. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as I saw her costume. She was a "schoolgirl." Clad in the shortest of short skirts and an even smaller wrapped up white shirt and a small tie. Her hair had been pulled up in two ponytails. I hated to admit it but I really wished I could have some of her confident. To actually leave her hours, or room dressed like that was something I could not understand.

"Hi Jessica," I answered back.

"Oh my God. Your costume looks amazing!" She practically yelled at me, even though the music was that very loud here.

"Thanks. You to," I don't think I fooled her. She frowned a bit but quickly changed the topic.

"Have you seen Mike?" I sighed, though doubted she heard me.

"Nope. Sorry," she looked so disappointed. She soon left, probably found some other person to annoy. I only had one person in my mind and unfortunately, he wasn't here right now.

I had lost focus on where the rest of my friends were and after a few minutes, I thought this was getting ridiculous. I stood of to the side, near where the huge living room was. I glanced around me but no sign of Edward. I was sure I would spot him whenever, but what if he had a mask on? Gah! I would kill Alice… later… if I could find her. How could she not have told me what he looked like?! My frustrated mind came to a halt as a voice spoke out.

"Well hello there," the voice was familiar yet muffled. I turned around, only to jump and shriek as I saw the costume. Before I could respond, the person behind the mask took it off, much to my relief and when I saw who it was, my face fell. Mike.

I looked him over; the creepiness shot through the roof. Mike was "Michael Myers" and by all means; that was beyond disturbing. Jessica would love that. Ever since I saw Halloween when I was 12, I have been afraid of Michael. People in all concealing masks were beyond creepy but this dude was… scary as hell (for a lack of better words). I knew it was ridiculous to be afraid of _Mike_ but it was so eerie and I simply couldn't help myself. He leaned towards me a little and I backed away, until I hit the wall.

"Hi, Mike," my voice was short, stating I clearly didn't want to talk to him. I looked around, indicating to him I wanted him to leave but obviously, he didn't get the memo.

"Well you look just absolutely ravishing," his voice was confident, something he wasn't at school. He looked me over, stopping especially at my chest. I watched him with raised eyebrows. Was he drunk? He didn't look like it. Maybe he was a good drunk, still partially in control of his motions and speaking abilities.

"Thank you?" It came out as a question but honestly, what was I supposed to say? Mike had always been a little on the creepy side and I shouldn't encourage him.

"Why don't we go and dance," it was a statement and before I even had time to think, he grabbed my wrist and tugged me along out to the dance floor. I stood still and resisted the strong force. Who knew Mike Newton actually had _any_ muscle strength? I sure didn't.

"No, Mike," I tried to pull away but he obviously took it as a sigh for something else. He turned towards me with a smirk.

"No? Then what do you want to do?" Again, I didn't have time to answer for he answered his own question.

"Why don't the two of us go to a little more private place?" He leaned closer to me as his lips were right by my ear and then whispered. "I'm sure you'd like that," he practically purred and pulled his head away a bit, which that was good, I think I would have thrown up on him otherwise. But I settled for staring at him incredulously, thinking he was delusional. How could he even suggest that? Freaky creep!

"Actually, she'll be busy for the rest of the night," Mike immediately let go of my wrist and I relaxed at the sound of _his_ voice. I backed a little and felt as he put his arm around my waist. Mike looked at Edward with narrowed eyes but took the hint and left. I breathed out in relief and felt Edward's chest rumble as he chuckled at my reaction.

"Thank you," I breathed and turned around to see him. I felt my heartbeat pick up again at the sight. I'm not sure _why_ I found this particular costume so unbelievably sexy but I did. It must be because Edward was the one wearing it. He was dressed up as Norman Bates, from my all-time favourite horror movies; Psycho. The clothes were uncannily like the once we first see Norman in. it's like they were specially made. Though, being the creation of Alice mind, no doubt, they probably were. **(Couldn't find a good enough picture but Google if you have to or youtube it)** Edward's gorgeous set of coppery hair was combed in the right style but still a few pieces were a little out of place.

As I was done with my assessment, I looked up, only to find that Edward's eyes were glued to my costume clad form. He was watching me with intense and hungry eyes. The stare which he gave me only made me want him so much more. Once he was done looking, some parts more than other, he met my eyes and smirked that lovely breathtaking grin. I almost melted.

"You look…," he seemed to struggle for the right word. "Ravishing," I shivered at his tone. It was the word Mike had also used but when Edward said it, it sounded so much better.

"Thank you," I responded, glad I didn't blush under his intense gaze. I felt a little daring; "i could say the same thing about you," he seemed surprised by me but none the less, continued to smirk.

Edward reached out his hand to me with a; "Want to dance?" I gnawed on my lip in hesitation. I had never been a good dance. Actually, "not good" was the wrong word… I was horrible, truly horrible. You don't need to know how to dance to survive, you know. Although, it surprised me because... Edward knew this.

"Don't worry," he said and pulled me towards the sea of people. "It'll be fine," though his voice got lower and lower due to the heavy music. He then turned towards me with a smirk. He brought me close to him; there was absolutely no room between us. I was suddenly glad for my shoes because, even though they weren't all that high, it still gave me a little more height and I was closer to Edward's.

The music then changed to a more upbeat track. Edward placed his hands on my hips, a little tighter than normally and it sent chills though my spine in the most delicious ways. We started moving slightly and instantly liked the feeling. It wasn't really the dancing part I enjoyed but the being-so-close-to-Edward part. Even through my slightly puffy skirt I could feel every line of him against me.

My confidence level boosted as I heard an almost inaudible moan escape his precious lips when I closed in on him even more, almost to the point where I was a second skin to him. I caused the delicious sound as I made little more pronounced wriggling of my hips. But none the less, the moan did send chills up and down my spine in fast lanes, making me ache for him.

Feeling a little daring and putting my added confidence to good use, I surprised him by whirling around, making my back come in very close contact to his chest. Still, the contact felt amazing and I really mean _amazing_. I brought my arms over me and my hands closed around his hair. His hands on the other hand gripped my hips tighter, moving his thumbs in delicious circles, all the while still dancing, although; it was more grinding against each other now than dancing. I knew the effect I was having on him, even with the skirt. As the song required it, I moved my hips against his some more and then Edward tensed. At first I thought I had crossed a line but he proved me wrong.

He grinded into me from behind and all I could simply muster to do was to let my head fall back against his chest and moan right next to his neck. He obviously hear me as he grounded against me harder, making me push back against him also. The friction was delicious but not enough, not nearly enough! I grabbed a hold of Edward's hair and tugged on it lightly. He moaned against my ear.

"Bella," though it was nothing more than a whisper, it was yet husky and strained. "You need to stop," the voice was pained and I knew why. But tonight, I didn't want him to be a "good guy". Tonight I wanted him to let go and loose control. I knew it was hard for him – no pun intended – but I wanted it – no, I _needed_ it. So I pushed against him harder and reached up on my toes, making my lips come in close contact to his ear.

"Edward," my huskily whispered moan and my added biting-his-earlobe made him dig his fingers harder into my hips. I started to pant. "Please," surely I would die right here if he didn't finish what he started. Then, before I knew it, I was being herded up the stairs and we fled down the hall towards his bedroom. It seemed to take forever to get there.

As soon as the door was open, we were inside and Edward had me pinned against the door. We were both panting for air. His breath fell over me and I felt a little dizzy, trying to breathe it in as much as possible. This was the moment where we had to really decide whether or not we should be doing this. We both wanted it, so, so much. I decided for us, by bringing him closer to me, fisting my fingers in his shirt, silently telling him I wanted him.

Edward brought his hand behind my neck, wowing his fingers through my hair and pulled my face to him. It was neither sweet nor second-guessed. We both knew what we wanted. We'd dragged this out for too long and now… we simply couldn't wait anymore.

I was trapped against Edward and the wall, clinging onto him for dear life. Like if I let go, I would drop. Though that was probably very true. His hand moved behind me and I faintly heard a _CLICK_. He then went to work at the massive amount of strings at my back. I lifted myself a little off the door, giving him some room, all the while slowly unbuttoning his shirt. Our mouth didn't disconnect for, I don't' know how long. But I didn't care; I never wanted to break away from him.

I got his shirt unbuttoned and ran my hands over his now soft and shirt-free chest, feeling his muscles contracting and relax under my fingertips. I also felt him shudder as my newly manicured nails (something Alice _insisted_ on doing, I would have to thank her for that) drew over his abs and I felt the much more added effect I had on him. I smiled against his lips, making him smile also. I brought my hands up to his shoulder, letting him know I wanted the shirt off. Though, I'd be fine with him always shirtless. Edward let go of his battle against the strings for a moment and allowed me to completely remove his shirt. As soon as the task was done, his fingers were yet again against the back of my costume.

He seemed to have some trouble and the next second, he had turned me around, making my frond press against the wall as he kissed my back and neck, all the while untying the strings. As he kissed my shoulder, he gently grazed my skin with his teeth, making me moan very loudly. I know it must sound sinister and morbid but it felt so good. As if to prove my point, my hands, being pressed over my head, fisted together and I closed my eyes at the feeling.

I soon felt the top loosen and I moved around, taking his lips to mine again. His hands changed to my shoulders, untying the two strings holding up the top. As they were done, the entire thing, except for my leggings went to the floor, pooling at my feet, along with my skirt. I had no idea when he removed that one.

Edwards's hands now went from my shoulders, down. He went at an agonizingly slow pace, feeling my skin unnecessarily long. I groaned in annoyance and I felt him smile against me. He finally gave me what I wanted and both his hands went to palming my breasts. I moaned into his mouth and arched my back, bringing him closer to me by his shoulders, pressing my nails into him. He grunted and started kneading me.

I had to break away from his mouth. It was all so intense, this pleasure he was giving me, and I had not time to completely kiss him as all my oxygen went into making all kinds of sounds which only spurred him further on. His mouth went down to my neck and into my collarbone and sometimes my shoulders, all the while still touching me in such delicious ways. Deciding we needed to move forward, as I was sure I would, at any moment, explode from at the intense feeling. I brought my hands down to his pants, feeling him through his pants. His hips jerked towards me and he hissed in pleasure, but didn't stop his own movements. Instead, he removed one of his hands and brought his mouth down on me again, kissing me harder than ever. It was almost to the point of pain but there was not way in hell I would ever tell him that or even make him move 2 inches away from me. I gasped into him and slowly, torturing him a bit, undid his pants and finally and, after a growl of frustration from Edward's part, brought them down his legs.

I could feel him against my hip and I grabbed him through his boxer briefs. He groaned, coming closer to me. Our tongues battled together while I stroked him and he touched all the skin he could reach. I then felt Edward change his position, taking me away from the wall. He moved around and I was at first confused but then I caught on. As the back of my knees hit the bed, I sat down, bringing him with me.

I moved back on the bed, he crawled with me. As I was sure I was in the middle I stopped and brought him closer to me. He broke away from my lips and I was confused. He sat on his knees, taking one of my legs and letting the foot rest on his shoulder. He first took of my shoes, though he looked as if he was undecided. I can't honestly say I would have cared if they'd still be on. if anything, it would have been much, much hotter than it already was. But not worries, there was time for that later… another time.

He started at the base of my stocking, taking it off my leg, slowly. My fingertips twisted around the bedspread as he took his time and my eyes were close to closing and my head was almost thrown all the way back. Though it felt amazing, he was having way too much fun torturing me. how could he have so much self-control?

As he removed my stocking, he took his time feeling every inch of my thighs and calves. As he came to my feet, he tickled the skin, making me giggle. He threw the discarded stocking somewhere behind him and then set my leg down softly, taking the other up and repeating the motion.

Before he could really remove it, I pulled back my leg, making it come right of me. He smirked at my frustrated expression, which I was sure was on my face. Edward sat there for a moment, watching me. I gazed back at him as he looked me over as I was displayed right in front of him. I wasn't nervous nor self-conscious. Or at least, that was what I was trying to tell myself. It was in Edward's expression which gave me confidence. He was watching me with hungry eyes, like the ones of a predator, about to finish his prey. Though, if he didn't hurry along, I don't know how much longer I would be alive.

Before he could acknowledge my movements, I sat up, throwing my arms around his neck, kissing him feverously. He kissed me back as hungrily and I lay back down, bringing him with me. He settled in between my legs, as I parted them more for him.

Edwards's left hand came down to my underneath my knee and abruptly pulled it over his hip. The both of us groaned at the added contact. The hand on my knee cradled my skin as it moved upwards from my knee, hopping over the part where I most wanted it to be and came to land on my breast, kneading it.

I moaned, very loudly, which only spurred him on even further. His hand became a little harder and the effect was maddeningly torturously, but oh-so-good. My back arched even further off the mattress and I knew I would have a sore back tomorrow. But to hell if I cared! I was moments away from sex with a Greek God for Christ sake! I probably wouldn't care if I couldn't want for 2 days straight.

But then something greater took his hands place, his mouth. I groaned, taking my hand to his hair, pulling him closer to me. His mouth was so warm and the effect brought chills up and down my spine. I was afraid I'd lose it if he didn't stop his torture soon. We could tease each other as much as we wanted later but not now. But then his hands moved down, to the waistband of my panties, taking them off slowly, maddeningly so. Could you possibly die from combustion? I was sure to be the first.

"Edward," I gasped, throwing my head back as I felt one of his fingers penetrate me. I was sure my eyes would permanently be attached to the inside of my scull. My hands grasped at him for all that I had. He was sure to have scratches on his back later.

"Please," I pleaded in a whimper.

"What do you want, love?" Edward asked against my chest. I was amazed how he was coherent enough to ask questions, let alone have the restraint not to jump me now for I was sure, had I been the one in charge, he probably would have been done by now.

"You," I panted out. "Stop…. teasing me," I managed to say as I felt another finger slip inside of me. I was sure Edward was going to make me explain exactly what I wanted but I was greatly surprised. He removed his hand, much to my displeasure, but brought something much better. Just the basic contact made all thoughts inside my head disappear – and I'm not joking.

Edward brought his head up to mine and I took his lips down on me and he penetrated me completely in one thrust. It felt complete. I had no idea how much I missed this. Granted, we'd only done it once before but feeling it now in such a different light made every feeling more enhanced. We moved, at first, slowly, savouring the feeling but soon, it became to slow. I wrapped both my legs around his waist, tightly and I heard a strained groan escape those precious lips. I brought said lips down on me again, as we had broken apart due to oxygen.

He penetrated me much deeper this was and I had to break away from him and let out an embarrassingly loud moan but I couldn't seem to care and he fucking loved it! Feeling Edward inside me and the now added pleasure of his mouth on my neck, moving down to nibble on my collarbone made my stomach clench and I knew I was close already.

By the way both of out movements fastened, we both were. We had only done this once before and well... the first time (for me that is) it was very different, but now... I had no words. Sure it had been a little awkward before, all those months ago but now there was no hesitation. I bit my lip to keep me from screaming out. I clawed at Edward's back and he simply grunted in return.

Then, when it all became too intense, I came, long and very hard. My back arched, my toes curled up and I had to bit my lip again to keep me from screaming out loud. Edward thrust into me once, twice more until he also came.

We were both panting heavily. I could feel exhaustion fall over me, bringing me closer to oblivion. Edward rolled off me and lay down in his back. Y chest was heaving so hard with my added oxygen intake that I though I would hyperventilate.

"Wow," was my brilliant response and I heard Edward chuckle, though it was a little breathless.

"Yes," Edward agreed. "It was," he sat up and brought the comforter over the both of us. I shifted, laid on my side, resting my head on Edward's chest.

My eyelids dropped and it wouldn't be long till I was asleep. Though I was on the brink of sleep, I was very sure I heard Edward say something. My current state of mind wasn't helping to coherent it and I let it go, falling into a deep slumber.

* * *

**AN: I haven't written all that many lemons before an****d want to know what you think. Good, bad – don't ever write lemons again?! **

**But on**** to Edward's costume, I had such a hard time finding a good enough one. At first it was vampire (yeah I know xD) and then the joker and now, Norman. I've always found him… at the very least; cute, even with the psychotic mind. And Psycho is such a good movie. If you haven't seen it – se it! **

**Sorry of there are many errors. I've only looked it all over once and since it was so long ago I updated, I didn't want to make you all wait any longer. However, if there are some annoying errors, tell me and I'll se if I can fix it. **

**That's all for now. **


	22. Words

**AN: ****First of all: so sorry it took such long time to update. It seems like I always write that, but anyway. I have been having a lot to do in school, with the year ending soon and then we are free of this institute for ever! Yeay! And then I have been facing some serious writer's block…. It's a sad and quite pathetic excuse for not updating in a moth – yikes! – but it's the truth! I hope there aren't, many errors but just because I said that there will probably be some… **

**But I will not delay you any longer! **

* * *

Words

I could feel a burning on my back. Though it wasn't painful, it actually felt quite nice. I let my eyes stay closed as I took in my surroundings. There was hardly any sound, merely breathing. It wasn't just mine. I slowly opened my eyes to, probably the best sight ever. Edward. My head was on his chest and my hair was strewn wildly around. I didn't move as I looked around, I didn't want to disturb him.

I took in our position, me on the side, my back being mostly on display. The sheet we had used to cover ourselves last night had gone down to right above my ass to right above Edward's waist. My leg was lazily bended and thrown over his left one. My right arm was around his midsection, with his over mine. I moved my head, slowly and carefully, a little so I could watch his face. He was still asleep; a very peaceful expression was upon him.

It had always baffled me, and still does, at how he can sleep on his back. I just don't get it. I always have to sleep on my side or possibly my stomach. I stopped looking at him; sure he would wake up at any moment and catch me staring. I'm not sure why I would be embarrassed about that, but the fact is that I probably would be. I looked around us at the very brightly lit room… well… bright for Forks.

The sun was out, that much was obvious. I was surprised about that, the sun scarcely made a visit to this little town, I had, unfortunately, come to notice. Even though I couldn't se a clock, I knew it was still early. To be truthful, we did get to bed quite early. The thought made me almost giggle like a 13 year old girl. But I didn't, instead I smiled at the replay of last night. I had gotten what I wanted; Edward to let go. And oh my God did it feel good! Not to get the mind too much into the gutter.

I tried to turn away, to se what time it was, but I was pulled back to Edward's chest. I looked up at his face but his eyes were still closed. I was confused how he could be so in control when he was asleep. As if he heard or saw my confusion, he spoke.

"What are you doing?" Edward's voice was breathed and very tired. His eyes were still closed but I knew he was awake, obviously. I laid myself back down, keeping my hand over his chest, making small and mindless pattern with my hand.

"Just wanted to check the time," I retorted in a whisper, looking down at my hand instead of at him. I felt him shift.

"It's a little over 9," he relaxed further into the mattress, taking me with him. His hand ghosted over my bare back, making goose bumps appear in its place and it brought chills up and down my spine. I loved that feeling. I kissed his tones abs once and then pulled back, leaning a little more on my elbow to look at him better.

"We're lucky you know," I had a feeling he wasn't talking about the 'us' part I first thought of. I kissed him again, this time, a little higher up.

"Yeah. And why is that?" I asked it in a hushed and smooth voice, which he obviously picked up on. I continued kissing him. I could feel his breathing get shallower and faster. I felt his heartbeat pick up marginally. I smiled small at the effect I was having on him.

"Usually, Alice is already up and prancing around, waking the entire house," I was by the base of his neck and I both felt and heard him swallow.

"Well she must have been up a long time last night… or rather this morning," I smiled against his neck as I heard him groan. I placed my hands on either side of his shoulders, leaning up to get a better look of him. I smirked as I saw his eyes were closed and had to giggle… just a little, right when he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You really had to put mental pictures in my head?" I shook my head as he opened his eyes, giving me a better look at his gorgeous emerald eyes. I smirked down at him.

"Actually, you did that pretty well yourself. It's not my fault your mind was in the gutter," he rolled his eyes, clearly over the mental issues he was facing.

"You really shouldn't say stuff like that. I will be scarred for life one day," he said it in perfect seriousness but I couldn't help but press my lips tightly together, making the laughter sat inside. But then I smiled at him deviously as I another thought occurred to me.

"Well if you want I can always help you with that problem… and others I will surely bring upon you," my voice dripped with lust and as I was practically already lying on top of him, I moved my leg up a little and earned a hiss in pleasure from him and he closed his eyes, breathing deeply. I had no freaking idea where all this confidence was coming from. I had never – and I repeat _never_ – talked like this before. I mean, sure I've talked similar to this but not with my voice sounding so… seductive? Was that the word? It was the most fitting.

I moved my thighs to either side of his hips. His eyes snapped fully open, staring at me. Then he smirked that lopsided grin and I felt my breathing hitch. The sheet had completely fallen off of us now, I realized. In the next second, he had me pinned down on the mattress, making me wonder how he moved so fast.

His mouth came down on me fast. I grip at him, wherever I can reach and his hands are all over me. My leg hitch above his waist and he pulls it further up. I want him so bad it physically hurts. But of course the universe hates me and decides to-

_KNOCK_

Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me! Edward and I both groaned in unions.

"Bella!" Oh no! I was slowly starting to hate that little pixie and if she wasn't careful, I swear to God I will burn all her clothes. Edward's head fall down on my shoulder and I feel tension roll off of him in waves.

"What?!" I scream back, not at all hiding my frustration and annoyance.

"Sorry to interrupt," she didn't sound sorry at all, "but you told me you hat to be home by 10. And it's-" I groaned and tuned her out. It was true I had to be home so early. Apparently, Charlie never trusted me and apparently, getting home so early should help with the trust. He has some serious issues. I sighed and Edward rolled off of me.

"A _little_ over 9?" I asked, rolling my head towards his.

A few minutes later, I was walking towards Alice room in one of Edward over-sized shirts, as all my clothes were in said room I was going to, with a stupid grin on my face. I couldn't make it go away even if I wanted to.

_I sat up, bringing the sheets with me, sighing all the way. _

"_She usually has that effect on people?" I felt Edward sit up and his hands came up my back and cradled the side of my neck. _

"_We'll see how happy she is when all her pretty designer clothes __are getting burned up on the front lawn." Edward chuckled as I did myself. It was an intriguing thought though, and I could practically see Alice's face, watching her clothes perish into fire. Edward kissed my shoulder and then leaned his head against it, murmuring words I never really knew I wanted to hear. _

"_I love you."_

_My immediate response was that my body froze. At first I thought I'd heard wrong, needing more conformation than what my mind could give me right now. I turned slowly and gazed into his face. _

"_What?" It was barely a whisper and I'm surprised he heard me at all. I barely heard myself. _

_He pulled my hair from my face, gazing into my eyes. Yes, this was one of those cheesy moments you see in movies which you know could never happen in real life. Well take a look __as it's happening now! Though it felt anything but cheesy at the moment. _

"_I said I love you," before I could response, he started talking, rambling, actually, I noticed. "I did tell you last night but I think you were already asleep." _

_I thought I heard __him speak. That thought, however, I don't' know where it came from but I was taking far too long to answer. Why can't I talk? It's like I couldn't trust my voice. No words came out. Oh God! Speak, damn it! Speak! _

"_I-" It's a syllable… to begin with. Edward's face now became morose… did he think I didn't feel the same way? Why couldn't I talk?! I really wanted to kill myself right now. _

"_You don't-" I cut__ him off by kissing him. I gripped his head and thought I could somehow project all my emotions into this kiss, until I found my voice, at least. _

"_I love you too," I managed to mumble against his lips. He fell back against the mattress, bringing me with him. I felt him smile against my lips and I smiled back. _

I didn't bother knocking and simply went straight in Alice room. I was relieved to see the room was in top shape. Noting too out of the ordinary on the floor, some basic clothes but at least it wasn't the huge disaster I witnessed yesterday. In fact, it was like that had never happened and I started wondering if I imagined it.

I simply went straight to the foot of the bed, bringing up my bag up to take out my clothes. i ignored the look I got from Alice, not even remotely interested din telling her what happened last night. And I knew she wanted details.

"So?" She inquired and I rolled my eyes, though she didn't see it.

"What?" I kept my eyes on my bag, determined to not give anything away.

"Come on Bella," I heard Rose bell out and the door closed. "You can't just come in here and expect us to let you leave without some kind of details."

"Actually, I am," I said, still looking down at my bag.

"Aha, so you admit there is details," Rose inclined and I felt my cheeks brighten, just a bit. Though I didn't answer in words, Rose smirk told me she knew enough. I gripped some jeans and a shirt from my bag, turning around for the bathroom but my path was crossed.

"But that's why you have girlfriends. So we can talk about this kind of stuff," Alice looked deeply disappointed in my unwillingness to cooperate.

"I know this must be a hard blow for you but I'm sure you will manage," my voice dripped of sarcasm and Alice huffed in clear annoyance.

"Bella, please," Rose said in a soft voice, I narrowed my eyes. "You don't have to get into any of the details," thought I knew they wanted them. "But just give us something," I hesitated, but then sighed in resign and Alice face brightened right up.

"What do you want to know?"

Their questions came all over each other. I didn't think it was possible for humans to talk this fast. I stared at the both of them in shock, as they finished throwing words all over the place.

"Yeah, I heard none of that," I said as they were looking at me expectantly. I held up my clothes. "Mind if I go change? I have to be home in," I checked the clock and I felt some annoyance well up, "20 minutes," both of them nodded and I proceeded into the bathroom.

It only took a few seconds after the door closed before the questions went off again.

"So what happened last night?" I was about to protest but Rosalie ventured in.

"So don't break it down play-by-play. Just please give us something!"

"There's not much to say," I started. "We danced, stopped dancing, we left the party," I rushed through the words but they wouldn't have any of it.

"That's it? Not even a hint of what happened after you got to his room? Are you done soon?" I opened the door and trudged back to my bag, shoveling around with its content.

"I'd rather not," I said quietly. But come on! Why would I _want_ to talk to them about this? It's personal. Have they ever heard of privacy?

"Ooh… that bad?" I whirled around and Rose actually looked like she was serious.

"What? Of course not," her face brightened up. That little… she tricked me! I felt annoyance dwell up.

"So it was more than good?" Alice prompted, sitting beside me now.

"You do realize we're talking about your brother, right?" but Alice simply shrugged her tiny shoulders.

"So?" I shook my head in defeat. I sighed; clearly they wouldn't let me leave until I've talked.

"Yes, it was more than good, it was great, no… actually… it was freaking mind-blowing. Is that enough details?"

Both of them seemed stunned.

"Wow, Bella," Rosalie praised. "I didn't know you had it in you," I shot up an eyebrow.

"Have sex?"

"No, let go of the barrier. Don't be embarrassed to talk about this. It's just me and Alice. At lest you didn't confide in that bitch Lauren Mallory and the next day, everyone knew!" Rather than look embarrassed, Rose looked pissed. I knew one thing after knowing her for as long as I have, don't _ever_ get Rosalie Hale pissed of, or even mad. It always ends in a disaster.

Alice sighed dreamily, looking like she was in deep thought. She talked like it too.

"I remember my first time-" Alice started, but before I could do anything about it, words flew out of my mouth.

"Like that was the first time." I froze. Did I just say that?! I knew it would happen, but when Alice opened her mouth to talk – or rather yell – I still jumped.

"You two were having sex!" I cringed in aftermath at her volume.

"Jesus Christ Alice," I spoke in a hushed tone, compared to her exclamation. "Why don't you yell it from the rooftop, then the whole town will hear you!"

"Sorry. But when… how… where… what?" Her questions were all rumbled and mumbled together, coming over each other.

There was a soft knock on the door and before anyone could say "come in", the door opened and Edward came in. I saw annoyance on both Alice and Rose's faces and I was ultimately grateful for Edward's interruption.

"You said you needed to be home at 10," I looked over at the clock. Danm it! We had about 5 minutes. I sighed, took my bad and walked over to him.

"Bye Alice, Rose."

"Bye Bella," they said in unison and it was one of those moments where you really think they rehearsed it.

Edward looked at me with raised eyebrows as we walked down the hall to the staircase, but I simply shook my head, saying; "Just ignore them."

"That'll be easy," his voice was full of sarcasm.

The car rolled down the dirt road towards my house, and I could already feel misery boil within me. I didn't want to leave him yet. But I knew nothing good could come by staying away any longer. Small droplets of water splashed the windshield. The sun which had greeted us this morning was completely gone, replaced with the depressing sight of rain. Dark lighting to fulfill up the effect, making it appear closer to midnight rather than midday.

I glanced at the clock and sighed at the time. My father would probably send a police car to the Cullen's soon. It wouldn't shock me if he did. My house came into view and I exhaled a huge breath of air that I hadn't realized I had been holding in.

"Shouldn't keep Charlie waiting any longer. After all, it's already 4 minutes after 10," Edward smirked that gorgeous grin at me. I felt a small smile grown upon my lips.

"Yeap, he'll probably call the cop at any moment," though I know Edward thought I was joking, there was much seriousness in my mind. I turned to him, prepared to say my goodbyes quickly but he interrupted me. He moved over to my side of the car and gave me a quick kiss, mumbling "I love you" against me, holding my head against it.

"That never gets old," I said with a larger smile.

"Good, because I plan on saying it far too many times," I leaned towards him against and he to me. I breathed out a "Good," right before our lips locked. It was a good thing I was already seated for I was sure, had I been standing, my knees would for sure give in and I would have crumbled to the ground.

"Dad?" I came into the hallway, ready to face him, but I didn't see him anywhere. Huh, I'd thought he would be standing by the stairs, phone in hand, only waiting another minute before calling the cops. Or perhaps standing behind the curtains, watching my every move. Nothing would surprise me. I rolled my eyes at his behavior.

I kicked off my shoes, hung up my jacket and started walking down the hallway. I heard the TV was on, or at least I assumed it was the TV. I couldn't imagine any bombs going off inside the house without me feeling, or at the very least, see it.

I rounded the corner and true enough; Charlie sat perched in the couch, remote in hand. An empty plate sat on the table, fork and knife strewn on it, making a mess. I didn't know exactly which movie that was playing but it really didn't look like a good one. Mindless explosions of cars. Seems so pointless.

"Hi, dad," he jumped a little and turned, looking briefly in my direction.

"You're late," he grumbled, turning back to the screen. I rolled my eyes and almost huffed in annoyance. Though I became suspicious; Charlie was out of breath. Had he… no he couldn't… had he actually been watching me and Edward from a window? No that couldn't be it. Right? I shook my head and continued talking.

"Blame Alice. The little pixie never stops talking," at least it wasn't a complete lie. Charlie sat still for a moment. It looked like he was choosing his words. His mouth opened twice before any words came out.

"Did you have fun at the party?" I heard how hard he tried to sound casual but his voice blew it for him.

"Yeah, it was okay," biggest understatement of the fucking century!

"What are you watching?" I changed the subject quickly. He didn't need to know my exact details of the party. Actually, I shuddered at the very thought of that.

Charlie hesitated and looked more intensely at the screen. Had he spied on us in the car? I didn't feel like fighting with him today and I let it go. It bothered me that he couldn't trust me but right now, I simply couldn't care enough.

"That boy drive you home?" he avoided my question and I exhaled.

"Edward, dad. His name is Edward," I didn't get rid of my annoyance as I spoke and Charlie grumbled.

"Edward, then."

"Yes, he did." I strode to the table, picking up the dish and made for the kitchen. I heard the TV click off and some shoveling feet came closer and closer.

"It's not that I _hate_ the boy-"

"Oh really? 'Cause, the way you have been treating him doesn't exactly scream friendly." Charlie sighed but continued speaking as if I hadn't interrupted.

"But I feel like you could do so much better." That was itT I dropped the dishes in the sink; a loud clatter filled the otherwise silent room, and whirled around, staring at my father.

"Oh really!" I practically yelled it but I didn't care. It's not like we had close neighbors who could hear. If he wanted a fight then bring it on! "Then tell me _father_, who would be '_so much better_' for me? Huh? Since you obviously know all about me and what I _want_ or _who_ I want, tell me who I should see!"

"Don't you use that tone with me young-"

"You are the one who started it! And don't even dare call me 'young lady'. I'm 18 years old! Legally, that makes me an adult."

"But not emotionally."

"How so? What have I ever done to make you not trust me?"

"It's your behavior, Bella. I know you don't think-"

"What about my behavior? You should be lucky I'm not even half as other people my age are today! I don't drink! I don't do drugs! I do my homework! I go to school and keep my quite good grades, even every time we move! What more could you possibly want?!"

"I want-" before he could speak any further, the doorbell rang. Charlie and I kept on glaring at each other for a few more seconds and then I broke eye contact and stormed towards the door. One more ring echoed through the house before I finally reached the door.

I yanked it open with too much force. It clanged against the wall and I frowned at it, then diverting my gaze to the ones who stood at my porch.

"Jacob?" True enough, Jacob and Billy Black were both perched right in front of me.

"We come in peace if you're ready to kill at any moment," I couldn't help but laugh, my anger for Charlie had momentarily evaporated.

I moved out of the way to let them in. Jacob helped his father over the threshold and then he wheeled himself down the hallway. I could hear him and Charlie greet each other and then the TV click back to life. I closed the door and turned back to the other person in the room.

"Hi," he said and the most amused tone.

"Hi," I answered back, sheepishly. "Sorry about that," I gestured towards the door. "I was just… a little... pissed…" my voice lessened after each passing word.

"Yeah we kind of heard," I sighed and nodded in acknowledgement. "Big fight?"

"One of many," I acknowledged with a sigh and waited as Jacob hung up his jacket. Was it possible or had he grown more since the last time I saw him? It wasn't _that_ long ago.

"I didn't know you two were coming over today."

"Oh it's purely impulsive," Jacob said in a tone which inquired he was laughing on the inside. "Our TV broke and apparently there is this big game on around noon or something. I thought the old man would have a heart attack when he noticed the TV wasn't turning functioning," the both of us chuckled together.

"Are you hungry?" I asked as we came into the kitchen. I realized I was starving, having not eating in quite a while. "I haven't had breakfast yet and was just about to… after the fight of course," he chuckled and sat down by the island, looking around. Accessing the house, I was sure.

"I could eat," Jacob said cryptically and added; "Late sleeper, huh?"

"What?" I mumbled as I stuck my head into the refrigerator. "And you'll have to be more precise than just say 'I could eat'."

"Sandwich. Any kind is fine… though some boloney would be nice," a few seconds went by before either of us spoke. "And I meant that you we're eating breakfast now. It's 10.30. Usually, people eat when they get up."

"Oh. No I just got home actually," I gathered the contents and headed over to the island, taking out some toast on my way and made y way towards the toaster.

"Oh," I could hear some real interests in the subject but he didn't ask about it… yet.

We ate in silence, at time, jumped then the two in the living room would shout to either glory or anger. I was sure my dad would throw something soon.

After putting away the dishes, I really didn't know what to do. Usually, I would have gone up and done some left over homework I hadn't done yet but that wouldn't really be nice with people here. And I happen to have a paper due next Friday I haven't even started on. Damn Edward and his distractions! Though I wouldn't have it any other way.

Another jolt of shouting entered my ears and I jumped.

"Jesus," I muttered breathlessly.

"Do you have something to do now or?" I hadn't noticed Jacob was standing next to me and his voice made me whirl my head around too fast.

"Ehm… no," it wasn't completely true but oh well.

"Do you want to go for a walk or something? I have a feeling there will be much more yelling and just sitting here doesn't seem all that productive."

"Uhm… sure." I hadn't known Jacobs for that long, or at all, come to think about it. Bit he seemed nice and if we were to hang out some more, I couldn't definitely see us becoming good friends.

* * *

**AN: ****I know it's short and I apologize for that, but in my defense; it is 9 pages… so. But I hope to have the next one longer. And also, ignore the things I have written before on this story ending in the next chapter or so because it probably won't. It's a little difficult to find a good ending but beware that there aren't **_**many**_** chapters left. We'll just see how everything progresses. **


	23. Clear

**AN: I felt bad for waiting so long before to publish the last chapter, so I wrote as fast as I could. I was going to update Thursday but the, yesterday, graduation happened and I was too nervous to do just about anything.  
****As I was really tired, I spell checked very poorly and if there are some places where the grammar or spelling is just so wrong, tell me and I'll fix it. **

* * *

Clear

The air was damp with fog. The clear sunlight we had had before had completely disappeared now. Possibly only a morning thing. Though the humidity wasn't uncomfortable or even annoying today. It was… soothing, if anything and it really helped clear my head.

The ground was soaked with water, most likely still wet from yesterday's downpour. And it made soft squeaky sounds beneath our feet as we moved away from the house. We hadn't spoken since we left the kitchen. Though, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. It was quite nice. As if we were reassembling our thoughts or maybe just lost deeply in them. I know I was.

Everything seemed to slip through my mind at this point. My father, our fight and how he is incapable of seeing anything good when it comes to Edward. though I tried to stay away from such thoughts, it would only make me more angry and I would probably only take it out on Jacob.

Then my mind flashed to the person walking next to me. Jacob was nice. Nothing at all like the other adolescence boys in school, though he had a certain youthful impression around him. And I couldn't deny that he was good-looking. Though of course, he had nothing on Edward. It seemed like no one in the entire world had that.

And then my mind went to Edward. I almost sighed out loud at the mention of his name. Edward. Now I did it again. It baffled me how he could even put up with me. First there is my crazy father. Yes, I've determined that he is in fact crazy. I still had some doubts, even though I tried to squash them, that he wanted me to leave Virginia of another reason than just what my father said. Was there another reason? He had said no but why didn't I believe that? Maybe I was getting paranoid. I mentally shook my head as if that would clear it.

Then secondly there's the whole issue with my… _mother_. It still almost caused me to wince at the mere mention of _her_. I never wanted to think about her. It would either make me upset, angry and royally pissed off and other times it would make me sad. I hated that I got sad and most of the times I would cry. It's not the crying in itself that I was upset about, it was the fact that _she_ had made me cry. I had sworn to myself that I wouldn't cry over her. But I always managed to break that promise.

I shook my head and realised a few seconds later that I didn't do it mentally. I looked to my right side and Jacob was watching me closely.

"Back to the real world?" I chuckled, though it was a little strained.

"Yeah. Sorry about that."

"S' okay. You looked like you were in deep thought."

"You got that right," even to me, my voice sounded strange.

"Wanna talk about it or…?" I opened my mouth to tell him not but before any words came out, I closed it. Did I want to talk about it? I was surprised that I did. I couldn't talk to Charlie, of course. And I couldn't talk to Edward, not about this. It only made him sad to know that my father strongly disapproved of him. People at school were definitely a no. None of them would understand and probably think I was insane or something. It looked like Jacob was my only other option. Though that didn't seem like such a bad thing right now.

"It's mostly my dad," I confessed, pulling my hand through my hair, bringing it back from my eyes.

"Oh?" Jacob questioned me.

"He… um… he think he know what I want in life… better than I do at least and that's been a debate in the house for weeks now." I stopped, thinking, before I continued. "He _thinks_ he knows best and… it's just really pissing me off. Like he would ever know what _I_ want. He doesn't even know me!" I realised I shouted the last part, now regretting it.

"Oh," Jacob said but with more understanding now. "I see."

"Do you?" I murmured sceptically. I'm not sure he heard me. Did he know? Had his father done the exact same way? I really doubted it.

We had walked down the road for a long time. Though it wasn't the one leading us out of this pack of forest the house was surrounded by. It led us further into it. Normally, I would have been scared. Dark and misty forests kind of creeps me out – it's essentially an invitation to get murdered by someone from, I don't know… maybe the Manson family – but with Jacob there, it felt safe. Though it would probably feel like that with any other person.

"Is that all that's bothering you?" I looked up at him with raised eyebrows.

"That's not enough?"

"Well... it just seems like it's more. You don't have to tell me," when I didn't answer right away, he started frowning.

"I'm prying, aren't I?" His frown deepened.

"Yes," I said in my most serious voice. Though the teasing leaked out and he smiled at me and I had to chuckle.

"It's okay though," it wasn't _exactly _okay. After all, I've only met the guy two times, including this one. But like I said before, I really needed to talk to someone. The only problem is that the next topic I _could_ talk to Edward about. I sighed and started with the insanity.

"My mother left us when I was just a baby and she recently showed up. She said she wanted to have a relationship with me. That she wanted to know me," I huffed in incredulousness. It still baffled me how she could even _think_ I wanted that.

"Little too late," I mumbled in afterthought. I glanced up at Jacob. He was looking down at the ground.

"What?" I asked and he looked up at me hesitantly.

"I just… it's not that I don't think that what she did was wrong, it was, but…"

"But…?" I prolonged the u, raising my eyebrows, asking him to just spill it.

"But I think that… maybe… you were just a little too fats to judge her." I was so stunned I stopped walking. I knew my mouth was hanging open but I couldn't shut it close. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to talk to Jacob.

"What?" The incredulousness sipped through as I had found my voice.

"She's your mother after all and if it were me... then I'd want to know her."

"Why?" I asked, amazed my voice was so calm.

"Because I know what it's like to grow up without a mother and I would rather have her in my life than anything else."

"What happened to your mom?"

"She died years ago." And now if let bad for ever yelling at him. Gah! I hated feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry... But this is a little different," I mumbled. "Your mom didn't abandon you. How could I ever trust her again?" I sighed. I've had this conversation way too many times.

"I can't have my heart broken again... I just can't," I whispered the words, my own voice sounded strange, even to me. Unwanted memories came floating back and I closed my eyes to try and push them away. They did, for now.

"Again? I thought she left you when you were a baby? You remember her?"

"No. I meant something else." I could feel a lump in my throat and I tried desperately to clear it. "Misunderstanding,"

I could tell that he wanted to continue asking questions, find out more, but he let it go.

I started walking again, wrapping my arms around my upper body as if to shield myself from the cold. Though it wasn't for that single reason. It wasn't even that cold. Not, it was to keep myself together. I fought the memories I didn't want to experience again.

Jacob kept up easily to my pace, staying silent. Though that only lasted a few more minutes.

"So where are we going anyways?" That brought me to a dead halt.

"I don't know. I was following you, remember? You asked to take a walk."

"Just looked like you were walking towards something." He shrugged and we kept on walking. Truth to be told, I had no idea were I was walking. I would be lucky to even find my way back to the house.

"Okay," Jacob said and sat down on a huge tree trunk. "Lets talk about something less depressing." I chuckled.

"And what would that be…?" I sat down next to him. Jacob put his hand to his chin, making a "hmm" noise. I rolled my eyes at his dramatics.

"Why were you so late coming home? You don't look like you've been up all night."

"Oh," I said, surprised how he seemed so curious. "I was at a party at my best friend's house," he nodded in confirmation. "She practically forced me to go so I went and obviously I stayed the night," I looked away from him now, all of the sudden finding a tree, about 20 meters away very fascinating. I controlled my emotions so I wouldn't blush or even smile.

"Sounds like fun." I nodded, fighting the urge to smile and laugh awkwardly.

"It was," my voice was steady, though it sounded a little strained.

"Huh," Jacob huffed quietly, though it wasn't quiet enough that I should ignore it.

"What?"

"It just that you don't really seem like a party person. Not that I've known you to make an assumption but it just…" he stared down at the ground and I was torn between feeling a little freaked out that he observed such a thing during our two meetings or just going with it. I decided to go with it.

"Nice observation," I acknowledged. "No I'm not that much for parties," my mind flashed to memories form a long time ago and I suppressed them as much as I could, but they were there. I quickly continued talking, thinking that would do it.

"Like I said, I got forced into this ordeal. They wouldn't let it go so… really convincing family."

"They?" His voice was different now, pressing.

"Alice, the best friend, and her brother, Edward; my boyfriend."

I completely ignored how he made the smallest of small faces as I mentioned I had a boyfriend. So this is what he had wanted to know, wheatear or not I was dating anyone.

"What kind of party was it?" How voice was less chipper than a few seconds before, but I ignored that too.

"Costume," I answered simply.

"What were you dressed as?"

"Um… kind of a Goth ballerina… if that makes any sense?" It sounded more like a question than an answer.

"A little," Jacob admitted with a smile. I chuckled and we fell into silence.

The fog was building up, closing in on us, bringing forth my claustrophobia. Out of nowhere, I jerked up and Jacob watched me with curious eyes.

"We should get back," my voice was quiet and almost sounded scared.

"Okay," Jacob said, dragging out the words as if unsure.

"Are you okay?" He asked as I started looking around. I didn't like the fog, especially now. It was very white outside and everywhere I turned it looked like a person was standing closely by, but every time I double checked, it was always a tree.

"Yeah," I half-lied. It was comforting to have Jacob here but I was still very uncomfortable. "I don't like the fog. It makes me feel claustrophobic."

"Do you need to sit down," he said, how voice calm. Not sounded at all like he was at all uncomfortable.

"No," I said quickly and possibly little harsh. "I just want to get back home," he nodded and god of the tree trunk.

I walked faster home. Well, I thought I was walking home at least. I just wet the opposite direction. At least I wouldn't die alone here. Oh my God! I'm actually thinking I will get murdered by Jason Voorhees! What the hell is wrong with you Bella?! It's just a freaking movie! That thought didn't help the matter at all. It made my heart pump a little faster and I remembered images of him in the remake I saw, not too long ago. Against my better judgement, I shuddered.

I was barely paying attention to Jacob, though I knew he was right beside me. I could hear him breath. The forest was utterly eerie today, no sound of animals or the wind. It was like in the calmness before the storm. At any minute now, I anticipated seeing a murderer walk out from behind a tree and we would get killed. I'm so quitting horror movies!

Though I know that was a lie. I did love to get scared, although right now I wasn't lovin' it so much.

"Bella," Jacob's deep voice made me jump and my heart thumped even more erratically. He grasped my arm and made me halt to a stop.

"If you're claustrophobic, you could hyperventilate. Maybe you should sit down for a moment." I knew it was horrible to think this but I really wanted to slap him right now. Couldn't he see I just wanted to get home?

"No I just really want to get home." My voice held finality and he didn't get a chance to say anything else as I started walking again. I could hear him yet again beside me. He kept up easily.

It took a while to get to the house. I hadn't realized we had walked so long. As soon as I was inside, I could hear the TV, apparently the game was still on.

"Sorry I kinda freaked out there, before," I muttered to Jacob.

"It's okay. Really." I smiled slightly at him in appreciation. We came into the kitchen and to my utter surprise, Charlie and Billy was at the kitchen table, drinking what I assumed was coffee. Had the game finished already? Had we really been out for that long?

"Hi," I said slowly. My father looked up and he had a much happier expression on his face now than what he had before, during our little fight. He even smiled at me! Though it was small, it was still a smile.

"Hi," he said and his voice was also happy. I got suspicious immediately and slightly narrowed my eyes.

"What are you so happy about?" I asked and leaned against the island; Jacob sat down and took some tortilla chips which lay in a bowl by the edge. But Charlie simply shrugged.

"Nothing in particular."

"Aha," I said and looked towards the living room. The TV was on but there wasn't a game playing. Though I didn't know what they had been watching, it was definitely a sports game of any kind.

"Well son… we should get going," Billy said and started wheeling himself off down the hallway. Jacob jumped down, putting back the bowl which previously had chips. How did he eat all of those so fast?

I followed them out, noticing Charlie a few steps behind me, stopping by the end of the staircase.

We said our goodbyes and as I closed the door and turned around, Charlie was still standing put, staring at me, and still looking happy, it was creepy. I raised my eyebrows in a silent question.

"What?"

"Nothing," he said with yet another shrug. I walked passed him and into the kitchen again. As I took the bowl Jacob had just emptied, I noticed, right beside another bowl filled with various fruits, my cell phone. What the hell?

I knew I hadn't brought it out of my bag. I hadn't had the time to do so. I picket it up, examining it. True enough, it was my phone. It wasn't coming to life. That's strange, it was fully charged yesterday.

Charlie came into the room next, going to the table and bringing the mugs to the sink.

"What's this doing here?" I held up my phone to him and he took some time looking at it, then looking back at the mugs in the sink, trying to clean them. What a poor attempt.

"It's been making all kinds of noises all the time you guys were out and I went to turn it ff and it slipped to the floor," I could feel some anger burn up. I didn't believe it "slipped to the floor". "And then the light went out. I'm sure it's still okay," he said after and I could feel my head shaking slightly, sighing.

"Great," I muttered sarcastically. "Now I have to get a new phone," the second time in a year. What are the odds?! I groaned a little and sighed heavily again.

"So you and Jacob seemed really friendly," Charlie started, completely changing the subject. His voice had changed again. Back to… happy? Why would he be happy? The man is so confusing!

"Yeah. He's a good friend." I resisted the urge to hugely emphasize the word _friends_.

"Just friends? You maybe seemed a little more-"

"Dad," I said in a warning tone.

"What? I'm just stating the fact. You two did have a long walk just now."

"Yeah. To get away from the screaming you and Billy did. Any longer and I might have gone deaf."

"Don't exaggerate Bella," my father's tone was condescending. I huffed but let it drop. I wasn't in the mood for fighting. The loud shrill of the phone made me jump and i went to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Bella!" I held the phone at arms length, studying it before putting it back to my ear.

"Alice," I said in acknowledgement.

"Where have you been? I've been calling for hours!"

"Alice, what's wrong?" I was scared now. She sounded like something awful has happened.

"I really wanted to talk to you about what we talked about before, this morning," I turned away from Charlie; sure I would have a little more colour on my cheeks now.

"Alice. Now isn't the bets time."

"But when," she whined. "You just can't say stuff like that and expect me to just ignore it and forget about it," I could practically see her pout.

"Now's not a good time," I said again but with a little more tone. I hear her huff.

"I have to go. My phone is apparently dead and i need to get a new one-"

"Fabulous! I'll drive you to the mall and we can talk there," before I could respond, she quickly let out an; "I'll see you in 15," then she hung up. I sighed and hung up also, putting the phone back in its charger.

"I'm going with Alice to the mall in a few minutes," I said abruptly. It's not like could actually ask permission, that would definitely set a bad example.

"Alice," mu father said, as if thinking. "She's that boy's sister, right?"

"Edward," I practically growled. Charlie made no remark.

"Yes. So what?"

"Maybe you should hang out with your other friends also. To get some balance."

"Since when do you care? And Alice is my best friend; it's obvious I _want_ to spend time with her. And besides, it's not like I have hundreds of friends in school."

"All I'm saying is that there are other people than the Cullen's," so it's not just Edward he doesn't like? What the hell?!

"I'm aware of the fact," I said in my most serious voice. "But i like them. _All_ of them." We stayed quiet now for a few seconds before the silence became even more uncomfortable and I turned.

"I'll go unpack my stuff," I mumbled and trudged over to where I had shoved my bags down to the floor. The zipper was open on my purse and I froze. I knew what was in that particular bag. Not only had it held my phone but also smoothing much more important. Something I especially didn't want my father to find.

Did Charlie see… no he couldn't have. If he had seen them, he would have definitely made a remark, at the very least. I would have assumed he'd throw a freaking fit. No he couldn't' have seen them. I shook my head and started for the stairs. My bags were slowing me down enormously.

However, I did think of how he would have reacted to look in my bag and found them. The result must not have been pretty. He wouldn't let me leave the house, not even to go to school. Especially not to school.

Who am I kidding; he would have locked me in my room. And I'd never se the outside world again, especially not Edward. My father always was one for the dramatic side.

-----

"So," Alice inclined and I kept my face expressionless. I knew this was coming. Though I tried to keep my mind on other things, like; wasn't it weird how many sentences started with "so" now a days? Fascinating.

"So… what?"

"Don't give me that tone," she sounded like she was a mother, scolding her child.

"Seriously Alice… do we have to-"

"Oh yes we do!" She all but yelled right when we stepped into the mall. "You don't just say "like it was my first time" after getting back from my brothers room, after spending the night with him, doing all kinds of things I'm sure are illegal in some states-"

"Alice!"

"-And then expect me to _not_ ask about it!" More people we're walking by, staring, and I inwardly cringed at her volume.

"Can you keep your voice down?!" I whisper yelled. "Actually I said "like it was the first time" but that's not important…" my voice trailed off as I saw the unamused glare on Alice's face. I swallowed hard. It felt like being interrogated and not telling "secrets" to your best friend.

"Don't get smart now Bella," she continued as we stepped into the phone store. I stared hard at the different phones, clearly more interested in this that telling my best friend how her bother and I had sex when we still live din Virginia, when we weren't even supposed to know each other, let alone be dating.

"This is the first and last time I will ever tell you this," I said sternly and her scowl lessened and she nodded.

"Okay." But before I even had a chance to open my mouth and start talking, Alice interrupted me.

"When was it!?" I cringed again at her volume. "Sorry. But I have to know."

"It was…-"

"Do you need any help?" A salesperson came towards us with a big smile. He faintly reminded me of Mike, a little creepy and deffinitely overly helpful.

"No!" Alice all but yelled at his face and he took a step back. I almost laughed. She didn't wait for his response before turning back to me, raising her eyebrows, daring me to wait another second. I'll admit it was fun seeing her like this.

"February 26th," I answered and watched as she pondered this. Finally, she nodded. Then, all of the sudden, she cocked her head to the side.

"When did you guys move again?"

"Um… March 5th," I answered in a slightly depressed voice. Alice looked sad with me.

"Why so fast?" I shook my head.

"That's…-"

"Hello. May I offer you a special deal on-" Alice looked like she would rip his head off. It was another salesperson. This one, I'll admit, was handsomer than the last one and clearly, he thought so too. Grinning and showing off his flashing white teeth.

"Beat it! Can't you see we are having a conversation?!" He looked glum and walked away, mumbling something that sounded like "Maybe you shouldn't have it in the store." I didn't tell Alice that. For all I knew, she could have him fired.

After checking that no one new stood within earshot, Alice looked back at me, though I was watching a dark blue Sony Ericsson, examining it to determine if it was to high tech for me. I'll admit it, I sucked with technology. By simply looking at those with touch screens made me cringe. How do you dial if there's no buttons?

"Why did you guys move then?" I sighed and put the phone back.

"I don't want to talk about that," something in my voice alerted Alice and she nodded, looking saddened by something for a moment. That moment was over very quickly.

"How was it?" I groaned and she laughed.

"It was… a little awkward," I confessed and blushed as I looked over this situation again. But Alice simply looked at me understandingly.

"Well of course it was awkward. It's the first time, it's supposed to be awkward," I smiled at her attempt to brighten the mood. Suddenly, I noticed, surprised, it wasn't so awful talking to Alice about this. She really is like the sister I never had.

"It's not like you expected all sunshine and perfect, right?" I shook my head with a chuckle.

"I don't even remember what I expected. It sort of… just happened."

"Explain please."

"That's a long story. But the shortcut is that… we were at a party. Don't even remember at whom. It was in a penthouse...-"

"Dave Johnson?" Alice looked shocked. I nodded, the name did sound familiar.

"Huh."

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. It's just…. I knew that guy." I looked at her in confusion.

"So?"

"I can't believe you were at that party."

"Why not?" I frowned. Was that _so_ hard to believe?"

"I was at that party. I can't believe I don't remember you, or even saw you. I still can't believe you dated my brother for… how long did you date?" I fidgeted with my shirt. I knew she would yell.

"Around… three months or so-"

"Three months!" the entire store – I'm not joking – either jumped or shot their gaze towards the two of us. I felt my face heat up but Alice was yet unaffected. She must really have confident in herself.

I turned away, picking up another phone, seeming to observer it when I listened for the store to go back to life. Which it soon did.

"Sorry," Alice mumbled. "But seriously three months?" I nodded absently and picked up yet another phone. "How could I not have known about it?" She seemed so sad and a si turned, her expression wasn't better.

"Alice. No one did, that was sort of the whole point."

"But I know my brother and he has never kept a secret, especially about a girl," she frowned at that. Probably wishing he would have kept a little quieter about that in the past.

"Surprised me to," I murmured. "Anyways," I said, coming back on track. "So we were at the party. Though not together, of course. I only went because Edward didn't like it-"

"That's so territorial," Alice interjected. "Sorry."

"Dave asked me to the party. I _think_ he had a crush on me though I don't know why. But that's not the point. Edward didn't like it and said something about Dave just using me or something and I got pissed and went there anyway."

"Is it odd for me to say that I really want to know this story?" Alice asked, looking very intregued.

"A little," I admited with a chuckle. "And he is oddly sexy when he's jealous. Anywho, there we're words spoken in private and one thing lead to another..." Alice looked shocked.

"You lost your virginity at Dave Johnson's party?!" She didn't use ful tone this time but it didn't stop the people in the nearest row to look at us with shocked expressions. I shifted around nervously.

"Yeah," I admitted slowly. Alice looked at me, her eyes as big as saucers and she looked like she had stopped breathing. Slowly, she regained controll of the situation. I waited expectantly.

"Of all the ways- I mean I- I neer though that about you... I mean..." I simply shrugged.

"Didn't you regret it? Happening like that, I mean?" I shook my head 'no'. "Didn't you want it to be special? Bella, it's not like you could ever take it back. It's permanent," I nodded in understanding. I knew all about permanent.

"It was special enough. And everyone talk like loosing your virginity is the biggest thing ever. It's not. There are plenty of other things that can be seen as much more important. And I've never regretted anything I may or may not have done with Edward," It was shocking how truthful I sounded. It's not like I was lying but I never really understood how much I loved him because I was sure I regretted that night ever since my father and I left Virginia. But right now, I knew I didn't. And it's not like we didn't do other stuff... so that night just made it completely official.

"Did you know… I mean… you must have known about his past, right?"

"Yes," I said with a laugh, though it wasn't really funny. "I knew. It was a large school, gossip and rumours spread fast. Especially with encouragement." Alice frowned again.

I didn't know whether she frowned from the rumours or that there was a reason for the rumours.

"And yet you…" she seemed to struggle to find a good enough word. "Pursued him."

"Okay," I said with a laugh, form humour, this time. "Pursuit is definitely the wrong word." She looked at me expectantly.

"He was the one to "pursuit me". I tried to get rid of him but he seriously wouldn't budge." Alice laughed at that. "That was a while after I had gotten comfortable into the own. But later, I couldn't understand why he wouldn't leave me alone. He could clearly see I wasn't going to sleep with him. Then," I only mumbled the last words.

There was a silence then and I took the opportunity to look over some other phones, though I wasn't really looking.

"Why did you question his motives?"

"What?" I look at my tiny friend and she was frowning again, though I couldn't know why.

"Even with his record," a deeper frown was emitted, "why did you question his "affections" or whatever?"

"You don't get it," I said and knew she wouldn't let it go.

"Don't get what?"

"In Virginia, he wasn't just Edward Cullen, he was _the_ Edward Cullen. Like a freaking celebrity and no matter how much he "clung" to me, I didn't believe him. Rumours are rumours and even though I hate to admit it, I believed what people were telling me than what he said."

"I understand," Alice responded after a long while of silence.

"You do?" I asked sceptically.

"Yeah. I mean… he's my brother and I love him but you have no idea of how many times I wanted to kill him for the way he was acting," I just had to laugh at that. And Alice was never one for swearing.

"So why didn't you?" I teased.

"He always had people around him and then I'd have to kill the witnesses and that would have meant for my hands to get dirty and you know I don't get my hands dirty," we chuckled for the drama of it. "Well… except for-" I knew what she would say and the day was going so well that I didn't need the visual.

"That's okay Alice. I don't need to have a mental picture all day and possibly the next one also," she grinned at me.

"How are you so sure of what I was going to say?" I rolled my eyes.

"Oh it's pretty easy to guess," I chuckled.

"But seriously," I said with much more seriousness. "Help me find a phone so we cane leave."

"Just get the iPhone. The sales guy is gonna love that," Alice gushed in an overly dramatic tone. But I snorted.

"iPhone Alice? Be serious. I'm not technical at all. I'll probably zap myself trying to turn it on."

"Don't be so dramatic. You'll be fine." With that, we walked out of the store 10 minutes later with the freaking iPhone.

* * *

**AN: ****I know you guys or at least some of you wanted some more ExB moments but the chapter was getting long and I just wanted to finish it. ****T****hough I've always loved Bella and Edward together (of course!), Jacob has always been Bella's friend and that is what he always will be. I've always not liked it when people have completely dissed Jacob as the all-time bad guy (though in some stories it's relly fun), Jacob is really nice and in the books, he's Bella's best friends and I know I would love to have a best friend like that, though not one who would want me to break up with my boyfriend but still... **


	24. Not always a gentleman

**AN: ****Sorry for taking so god damned long to update. I have been having some problem with what to write and the story is coming to a close but I will try my hardest to have 30 chapters done. But that is the highest I'll go. **

**I know you guys wanted more ExB interactions and well... you've got it now! ****Again, if you're sensitive, ship the beginning of this chapter…Lemon alert! **

* * *

_Not always a gentleman _

It was very hot in here. Though it was barely 10 degrees outside **(that's Celsius guys, I won't even begin to explain how confusing I find Fahrenheit)**. But I didn't mind the warmth, it only meant less clothing and I was all for that. Edward's hands went to the zipped of my hoodie and pulled it down, taking of my shirt, all the while still kissing me in the most illegal ways. He seriously had the power to make me faint, just by kissing me. That to me screams 'keeper'.

Ever since that night, a few weeks ago, we haven't been able to keep each others hands off of each other, literally. Right now, we were parked somewhere secluded. I wasn't paying much attention from where he stopped the car to me launching myself at him. If he was surprised, he hid it well and responded not two seconds later. As we were driving home from school, I knew we wouldn't have any time at home since my father made the coincidental appearance not 30 minutes I was let of school. And 30 minutes was not long enough.

My hands are all over Edward, grabbing at what I can, preferably his oh-so-gorgeous set of hair. I have him pinned down in the backseat of his beloved Volvo, straddling his hips, though he doesn't seem to mind having me on top. In fact, he seems to be enjoying it, quite a bit. We were perched on the driver's seat but it became too crowded and as we sat here, I had never been more grateful for tinted windows. They really made my day.

Our moans, whimpers and groans filled the small compartment as the make-out session became even hotter, if it were possible. I had to literally tear my hands away from his hair and bring them down to his shirt. As I took one hand underneath, I felt his muscles twitch to my movements and the other was ready to bring the offensive garment over his head, but his hands shot up to stop me.

We broke apart and the car was in silence except for our heavy panting. We sounded like we just finished a marathon. Before I let him speak, I dove in for his neck and he groaned, massaging my things in the most delicious way. It made my legs tingle and I just wanted all our clothes gone.

"What?" I asked in a breathless voice.

"Are you sure here?" He asked. I looked up and for one millisecond, I though he didn't want to but I could feel his very obvious arousal and it looked like he had to strain himself from not ripping my clothes off my body. I almost moaned out loud at the thought of him _roughly_ having his way with me.

I know girls want the "nice" guy and I'm all for him as a gentleman but seriously… he doesn't _need_ to _always_ be like that. Sometimes maybe a girl just wanted to get pounded against the wall or, like now, in the backseat of a car. Like the ultimate cliché.

"Afraid your precious Volvo will be scarred for life?" I asked in a teasing tone with a smirk on my face. He chuckled.

"No. I just-"

"Then don't fight it," and with that, my lips were back on his and true enough, he didn't fight it.

Out kiss turned frantic and our hands roamed every surface we could reach. He practically ripped my shirt of my body and I almost ripped the last few buttons on his shirt. Looking at his now shirtless chest and magnificent abs, I couldn't help myself, bending down to get a little taste as my fingernails scraped up and down. He groaned as my lips and tongue went from the middle of his chest to the base of his neck. It was only fair, he practically makes out with my neck, so I should get it in return.

My hand came down to his pants and I took my sweet time fixing the zipper and belt. He seemed to get frustrated with my movements and I simply smirked at him. Then, his grin turned mischievous and his mouth dove for my neck, liking, sucking and also; bite. He actually bit me. Not hard, of course. But enough for me to shove his pants off roughly and he doing the same with mine.

Only two small pieces of clothing kept us away from what we really wanted. Our bodies grinded against each other and my nails dug into his shoulders, he would probably have markings later. I smirked at that. His hands, on the other hand, were at my back, trying to take of my bra. But in between groans and moans and the steady grinding of our lower halves, I could understand why he was having some problems.

But as soon as the garment left my body, his mouth enclosed on my very hard nipple. I gasped and whimpered at the feeling, holding on hand on his head, trying to bring him closer to me and the other on his shoulder. His one hand went down between us and he touched my very sensitive skin and it left me breathless.

It was all too much, the pleasure he was bringing me was too much and I ached after him. I could feel myself pulse for him and wanted nothing more than to have him inside me now.

"Edward," I breathed in a groan.

"Hmmm?" Was all he mustered to say and he continued sucking and rubbing.

"I need you… now," I barely got out but he understood. He pulled back a little to give me room to remove his boxers. They didn't get very long, just down to his knees. My panties on the other hand, were apparently too difficult to remove and so he did something that made me want him so much more, he ripped them. This time, I did moan out loud.

No time was spared and I guided him into me and I sunk down on him. We both moaned at the sensation and soon started rocking against each other.

His hands gripped my hips to the tightest but there was no way in hell I would ever complaint. It felt magnificent and I gripped his shoulders tight enough to make marks to last a week so I definitely shouldn't be complaining.

I started rocking my hips to his and the sensation was so powerful I was left breathless and gasping for air. Our movements had been so frantic before but now they were sensual and slow. Well… not too slow, after a while it was too slow and I started going faster and faster.

But as I felt myself going towards the edge, I didn't want it too end. Couldn't there be a timer on sex and how long you wanted it to last?

"Lean back." I vaguely heard the muffled voice and looked down. Edward had gone back to sucking at either my chest or neck. But I did as he asked and leaned back. I placed my hands next to the console in the middle and couldn't help but let out a curse as I felt the difference.

But as the good feeling built up, so did the pain. My legs started cramping and I lifted them, placing them both on the backrest. Edward's hand shifted from my thighs to my hips, securing me there and helping me along. His eyes were closed in pleasure and he was without a doubt the sexiest guy I had ever seen in my entire life.

He opened his eyes and a "fuck" slipped out as he took in my position. I wanted to watch him but the pleasure was so good that I couldn't help but throw my head back, close my eyes and let out a long moan.

I was so close and by the judge of Edward's movements which had increased, he was too. As I felt I was seconds within, probably the most intense orgasm I have ever had I clutched the front seats in my hand and opened my mouth in a silent scream as the wave came over me.

I couldn't literally see stars in front of my eyes. I heard in the distance a guttural groan and both of our movement slowed down to simple rocking and then stopped.

I was slowly coming back to the "real world" and the car was filled with panting sounds. I slowly opened my eyes and looked straight ahead. Edward's head was thrown back and he seemed to be breathing much too fast. I couldn't help but feel smug and I slowly, without him leaving me, sat back on his lap, straddling him again.

He lifted his head like it weight 50 tons and smiled goofily at me.

"I wasn't expecting that," he said like he'd just finished running, another thing I felt really smug about.

"Well," I said and went down for a quick kiss. "Gotta" _kiss _"seize" _kiss _"the" _kiss _"opportunity," I got out, with difficulty. "It's not like we would have had time at home," I said against his sinfully delicious lips and kissed them again.

"You continue to surprise me," he said after a few seconds and brought my lips to his again.

"Something I hope will last for a while," I quipped back and kissed him more properly.

As out little kissing went to making out, I felt him twitch inside of me and grow hard again. I smiled against his lips and felt his twitch in return. I started rocking very slowly at first but he stopped my movements before anything could really happen again.

"Don't you have to get home?" He asked a little strained.

"Eh," I said nonchalant. "We'll have to blame it on a road accident. Besides, it looks, or rather _feels _like you've got a little problem and I'm all for helping." I ground into him and he groaned loudly gripping my hips tightly.

I don't know how long we stayed in the car but I know that after that seconds time, we had to leave and that was far too soon. We dressed quickly and got back in our respective seats and then Edward drove me home.

The house was cold and quiet. Obviously, no one was home. I was all for that, even though I could probably pass out as soon as I hit the pillow. Edward had driven home as soon as he had dropped me off. I would have probably hid him in my closet or bathroom if it would have meant for him to be with me for a little while longer but sadly, he does have a life of his own and I do think his family would soon start looking for him if he never showed up at home during the day. It's shitty but that's reality.

The weather had picked up. Not to my surprise. I had grown accustomed to the rainy-ness and even felt at home near the overly green trees and grounds. It started as a slow drizzle, not enough to cause any heads to turn. But now it was like a shower outsider. The water flowed down from the sky like someone was standing outside with a hose. It echoed through the entire house, making the situation feel eerily like the beginning of a horror movie.

I knew it was irrational but I started checking all the windows and doors, even the balcony doors. My paranoia didn't wager as I looked over the entire house. I don't know why but I had a strange feeling. Maybe it was just the weather but it didn't feel like that.

A loud crack startled me and made me jump a few inches. The front door slammed shut loudly as a result of the wind picking up.

"Bella!" Why does he always yell? It's not like I'm 50 miles away!

"Yeah?" I respond, walking around the corner. He jumped as he saw me.

"Oh. You're here." My eyebrows shut up.

"Where else would I be?" Charlie shrugged.

"I don't know. Out… somewhere… maybe." He looked around as if he had dropped something but quickly recovered and pulled off his coat and hung it up. I was about to leave when he spoke again.

"Weather got to you, huh?"

"What?" He pointed towards my head.

"Your hair. It's all… frizzy." I turned towards my left, watching my reflection in the mirror on the wall. He was right. My hair was unnaturally frizzy. How had I not noticed this earlier? I felt a blush creep up on my cheeks but thought of anything but what happened from the time I left school to the time I got home. I got a rubber band from my pocket and pulled my hair up in a messy bun.

"You hungry," Charlie asked awkwardly, standing in the doorway. He kept glancing over to the living room and towards the TV, or so I thought. "We could order in…"

"No. I'll make some tortellini." Does he think he could live on take out?

"Well alright. I'm gonna watch the game." And then he left. Some days I wonder if I was adopted.

-------------

The rain got worse the closer night came. The wind picked up greatly and I could hear the tree branches against my window and it was starting to creep me the hell out. Or maybe it was the movie I was watching. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (remake, of course) was a classic by now, at least in my opinion. The gory tale was a masterpiece and it was amazing how every time I watched it I still got shit scared.

My entire being must have been amusing to watch. I sat on my bed, practically inside the pillows and one so far up my lap I could barely see the screen. My legs were pushed under me so far I doubt you could see them and I was frozen. But not in fright, completely. I jumped at every little noise I hear, even the ones coming from the TV.

An almost empty bowl off butter flavoured popcorn was to my left and I sat and plopped in a few every few minutes, not really noticing my movements. I usually got this engrossed while watching a horror flick. It was something in the essence I think. You were supposed to get scared and that's when it was the best. But it was difficult finding a decent horror movie now days.

The old ones like Friday the 13th, Halloween and even Nightmare on Elm Street were the really good ones. It was very low budged but damn it if they weren't spectacular! There shouldn't bee so much special and visual effects. They completely ruin the movie. No! Pea soup as vomit was excellent! Why don't they have that anymore?

I was so engrossed and even though I knew it would happen; when the character of Kemper walked through the living room filled with pigs. I _knew_ it would only be a matter of minutes, or seconds, before I would jump 50 feet in the air but I was not at all prepared when the time came. Right when the stupid fuck stood outside the door, watching the cartoon, Leatherface makes his appearance and I jump, feeling and hearing my heart go into full drive. Just as the soon to be dead man was being dragged over the dirty floor to the basement door, I was not ready for what happened next. Just as the door on the TV slammed shut with a roar, mine opened and I screamed.

I screamed out an embarrassingly loud girlish scream and calmed down as I saw Charlie in the doorway, looking like he'd just shot someone. But then his expression turned to the TV and I swear he smirked. Jackass. What did he think? Barging in here when he could clearly hear a person being massacred inside the room.

I could see him fighting a smiled and pressed the pause button and glared at him.

"Yes?" I asked in a slightly angry tone. His 'almost' smile melted away and he looked awkward.

"I was just saying goodnight. I have an early morning tomorrow."

"It's Saturday." I pointed out. Who'd work on a weekend?

"Yeah but someone called in sick and I'll be gone most of the day." Immediately my mind went to Edward and all the possibilities of him and me alone in this big house. I knew I was such a guy with my thoughts but this was Edward for fucks sake! He was a walking God and I'd be damned if I didn't take advantage of every second I had with him! Plus, there was something I wanted to try and his car was not a good option for that.

"Okay." I said with a little too much information. I willed myself to keep my voice steady and calm. Charlie looked at me a little sceptical and his eyes narrowed a bit. I sighed internally. I knew what was coming.

"Now I know you're old enough to make your own decisions Bella but," oh God! Why did he have to do this?! "I don't feel comfortable if that boy-"

"Edward-"

"is here with you, alone. You are still living under my roof and you live by my rules," he continued on sternly and I pulled all my effort in to not roll my eyes. What did he think? That just because we weren't allowed in this house that we couldn't find another place? If only he knew.

"Yeah I know. You've told me this countless times." My voice was bored and I just wanted this conversation to end now. But he wouldn't have that. Like all other times we fight. This was the only real time we talked. When we fought.

"And yet I still see him here when I get off work." Now I did roll my eyes.

"You get home from work a half hour after we get here from school. I know you don't trust me but you have every right to. It is I that shouldn't trust you and I don't. But don't come here and say shit like that and try to make me feel guilty for wanting to spend time with my boyfriend."

"Bella. Language please." I rolled my eyes again and huffed. "And I understand you want to spend time with him. But I don't want you two alone. And I do trust you," I snorted and he pretended not to have heard, "it's him I don't trust." I let out a deep breath of air in annoyance.

"I just don't want him to take advantage of you." Oh My God! What the hell is wrong with him?! Like Edward would even "take advantage of me". Everything he wants to do to me is fine by me. Actually, I don't mind _anything_ he does to me. But I didn't say that out loud. If Charlie had every heard any of it he'd lock me in my room.

"He would never do that," I said with a strained yaw. I was getting angry now and he was ruining my freaked out mood from the movie.

"He's a 18 year old boy," man, actually, "and I know what boys his age are after-"

"Oh my God! Will you listen to yourself?! I know Edward and I don't care if you trust him or not. That is my choice! And I do trust him. With my life! So take your old-fashion-ness and shove it because I don't want to hear it! I've said this once and I'll say it again. If it does turn out that Edward is using me, which he isn't, it will all be _my_ mistake. Not yours!"

Charlie seemed stunned by my speech. He seemed like he was about to reproach but I raised a hand to stop him.

"Don't. I don't want to hear it." With that, I turned back to the TV and continued on watching the massacre before me. I vaguely heard the door close and feet paddle further down the hall and a door open and close.

I blew out a breath and let my head fall back and a thud was heard as it made contact with the wall. I took a few seconds before running my hand through my hair and getting back to watch the lovely goriness.

I was at the point where the slaughterhouse came into view and had to pee. I paused the movie and shivers went up and down my back as I heard the emptiness in the room. Every movement was magnified. I quickly got off the bed and went to the bathroom.

As I resurfaced in my room, a strange buzzing sound was heard. At first I froze in ridiculousness and once I got closer to my desk, the noise grew but then stopped. I looked in my bag and found my phone. I was shocked at the number of missed calls and texts. 12 missed calls and 6 unread texts. I scrolled though the calls first. The first one was Edward and I smiled at that. It was a few hours after he'd dropped me off. Maybe he wants to come over here tonight. I felt a smirk grace my lips.

But that was the only one I could identify. All other calls were from the same person, but I had no idea who. That was strange. Phone salesmen usually only called once o twice. Not 11 times. I shook my head and went to the texts. They were all voicemails. Before I even had time to progress any of this. My phone buzzed again and I jumped slightly. It was the same number and after watching the movie I won't lie and say that it wasn't a little bit creepy. Warily, I answered.

"Hello?"

"Bella! It's Rose. Where have you been? Why haven't you answered the phone?" She sounded scared and sad. I have never heard Rose sound like that, even after the little time I have known her. She didn't seem like the person to be scared, let alone show other people it.

"I have been home. My phone was on silent and-"

"It doesn't matter! You have to come-"

"Where are you? What's wrong?"

"I'm at the hospital," she said with a small sniffle but she quickly regained composure. I could literally feel all the blood drain out of my face and I got cold.

"What?" I asked in a breathless whisper. Rose's voice shook as she said the following words.

"There has been an accident."

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**AN: ****Dum dum dum duuuuummmm! **

**I know**** the chapter is too short but if I'm going to finish having 30 chapters to end the story (as was requested) I have to have them smaller, especially if I'm kind of out of material… sort of. But at least its lemony good xD, and a huge cliff-hanger, if I do say so myself. I will start working on next chapter today... I will promise that. I have at least one allready planned out in my head and it's sooo good... well, at least I think so. **


	25. How and Why?

**I'm sorry it's taken so long... a month is too much and I kn****ow it but work has been hard and when you comehome, sometimes you're just too tired to do anything. **

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_How__ and Why? _

That was the sentence going though my head every second. I was on the verge of a complete breakdown, tears spilling down my cheeks but no sound emitting itself from me. I felt that my face was locked in a frozen expression and had been so for the last two hours. To even imagine- I stopped right there in my train of thoughts. I squeezed my eyes shut and felt more tears fall down my cheeks and onto my hands.

I had basically muted out any noise going on around me. I saw images of people moving past me but it didn't matter. The only think on my mind them and I still remember Rose's call to the utter clearness. Even though it was only two hours ago, it still felt like I just got off the phone with her.

"_I'm at the hospital," she said with a small sniffle but she quickly regained composure. I could literally feel all the blood drain out of my face and I got cold. _

"_What?" I asked in a breathless whisper. Rose's voice shook as she said the following words. _

"_There has been an accident." _

_I froze and even stopped breathing. I knew I shouldn't jump to conclusions but my mind had a mind of its own. All I saw in front of me was him. I could already feel tears wanting to escape the confide space of my eyes. I sniffed it back. _

"_What happened?" I asked in what I wanted to be a brave voice, but ended up sounding weak and pathetic. Rose's voice still shook and could practically hear the tears in her voice. _

"_It's Edward…" my heard clenched and I almost fell apart. But before I could speak, Rose talked again and now, the tears were much more evident. "And Alice..." she let out a sob, as did I. Alice? Now my tears flowed down faster than I'd thought. _

"_What happened?" I asked again and started sobbing harder. _

"_You need to… come here and… just get here and I'll… tell you." I sniffed till I thought it was safe to speak. I nodded. _

"_I'm coming right now." We hung up and I stared at the phone in my hand like it was an alien product. Time felt foreign. Like everything was in slow motion. I grabbed my bag and stuffed the phone in there, running to Charlie's room. Maybe he hasn't gotten to sleep yet. Even with my mind solemnly focused on Edward and Alice, I still knew I couldn't drive there myself. _

_I opened the door and to my utter gratefulness, Charlie was still awake. He looked at me with confusion and alarm. _

"_Dad," I said in a weak and slurred tone. I haven't called him dad since I was like 11. _

"_Bella. What's wrong?" _

"_I need you to- to… to take me to the… hospital," my words were slurred by my crying and sobbing. I wiped my tears on my sleeve but new ones flowed down fast to replace their place. _

"_What's wrong? What happened?" Why did he have to question me? Couldn't he juts trust me for once? _

"_It's… it's Edward… and… Alice…" my lips trembled and I could feel despair grip me. _

"_Just tell me what happened?" Charlie said again and my patience was gone. _

"_Will you just fucking take me there?!" I yelled in a clear tone. "I don't know what happened!" I felt my entire chest heave with the effort to sob and breath at the same time. I felt like I was on the verge of hyperventilating. _

_It took a little while but as soon as the car was parked I flew myself out of there and through the front doors. I didn't wait for Charlie. I didn't even know if he came after me or went back home. I felt hysterical and they would all probably think I was insane but that didn't matter. _

_I went up to a desk near the opening, trying to gain the attention of the imbecile of a receptionist sitting behind there. Chatting away on the phone with a smile on her face. How could she possibly smile at a place like this? _

"_Excuse me," I said sobbingly. She looked up and me and slightly scrunched her nose, as if it actually mattered how I looked like. To her it probably did. She looked, quite frankly, like a supermodel. Platinum fake blond hair and showing way too much of her cleavage to be appropriate in a hospital. _

_She held up a finger at me to be quiet and pointed towards the phone. I gaped at her as she got back to chatting away happily. I felt rage well up inside me and I looked towards the phone. I pressed my finger down to end the call and the model looked up at me, outraged. _

"_What the hell do you think you are doing?" _

"_I am trying to get some information from a person who gets paid to do that… not sitting and chatting with friends on her work phone." My voice was low and I had momentarily forgotten my tears and sobs. She glared at me. _

"_And who exactly do you think you are?" She said it like only the "pristine" people got to know what they wanted. But before I even got to ask, a voice made me turn my head. _

"_Bella!" It was Rose. She had obviously been waiting for me here and she came closer. The bitch behind the counter looked a little startled and had huge eyes, like she was afraid. _

"_Is there something wrong?" Rose asked as she got closer and looked to my outraged expression to the now shocked look on bitchy here. _

"_Yes," I said and bitch looked even more scared now. "I was trying to ask where they were and _she_ wouldn't tell me." Rose glared at her and she blanched away. Not waiting for a respond, Rose dragged me off by my arm and we got in an elevator. This is when I realised why I was here in the first place and my tears started falling again. _

_I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked at Rose and she too was on the verge of tears. _

So here I was, sitting outside a room but the ones I wanted, no needed, to see weren't in there. It was a car accident. I don't know why but Edward was driving Alice to Jasper's house. Somewhere along the road, the weather got to be too much and they swerved on the road and into a tree. I cringed every time I even thought of the car going into the tree. Rose said the doctors told her it was a miracle both of them didn't die at the impact.

I snorted at that. _Miracle_. Shit like miracles doesn't exist. The only thing that saved them was the car. A newer model, designed to keep people from dying in crashes. I felt a new round of tears leak from my eyes as I thought of dying.

They couldn't die. That was just… _not_… acceptable. I literally don't know what I would do. And I mean it. I don't know if I would have broken down as soon as I had gotten the confirmation. Or if I had lived in denial and then have my heart broken several times. Or maybe I would have stayed frozen in place, a piece of me dead to the world, never to resurrect again.

I felt as if I would go crazy, running through the possibilities of what would happen if they didn't make it. A new round of tears leaked from my eyes. No, they couldn't die. Like I said, that was not acceptable.

I quickly dismissed the dark thoughts. Making them so ridiculous, there was no possible way that would be the outcome. Because they just couldn't die… that would be… wrong, weird… they're not allowed to die. They don't get that peace when we have to live on without them.

I mentally shook my head and lifted it a few inches. A few more noises entered my hearing. They held no interest to me. Nothing did at this point. Rose had tried getting me to eat something for a while but I hadn't spoken back and now I felt guilty for it. She left with an unusually quiet Emmett and they've been down in the cafeteria for more than 30 minutes.

That was the one thing I was sure about; time. Both of them had been in surgery for about three hours. We haven't gotten any updates and I was slowly starting to feel pissed off. I knew it's a busy hospital but how the fuck can they just let us be here, thinking the absolute worst… how can they just…? GAH! This was messing me up!

For the first time in two hours, I straightened up and leaned against the back of the chair. My back ached with the effort. I had obviously been tuning out more than just the noises around me. For at my left sat Jasper.

I slowly turned my head towards him but he kept on staring straight ahead.

"How long have you been sitting there?" I asked in a hoarse voice. I cleared it but it felt too dry to do anything good. He shrugged, not looking away form the wall. He held up an opened can of coke and I took it without a second thought. The cold liquid flowed down my throat, burning it slightly.

I was about to ask if he had heard anything but before I even opened my mouth, he spoke in a similar hoarse voice like mine.

"We haven't heard anything." His voice was lifeless and for Jasper to talk like that freaked me out. He was always so calmed and collected and it made the rest of us calm. But now, actually seeing how affected he was, my own support from his melted away and I thought I was going to bread apart.

Usually, in a family or amongst friends, you can identify a person by their emotions. One who is loud, you always look towards if there's an awkward moment. The point is that we always have one person we look towards in some situations and in this case, Jasper should be the ideal one to look towards. So that he can help calm everyone down and say that everything's going to be okay, even if he doesn't know. But I knew he couldn't do that now. And it scared me.

He looked so sad. Though, I probably wore a similar expression on my face. Like a lost golden retriever puppy face. Sitting on the ground, looking up at you with the biggest eyes and you _can't_ help but say 'aaaaw' and want to hug it. It's just not humanly possible.

I reached over and touched his shoulder comfortingly, or so I hoped. I have never really been much of an emotional person. I usually avoided situations where too much personal stuff got out. It just made me uncomfortable.

But this was much different and it's not like I saw anyone else around. Jasper hung his head a little and slumped together more into agony. I know it wasn't the right time to ask this but it was all I could think about right now and I knew, somewhere in my mind that I wasn't the right question to ask but, like most times, my filter was gone.

"Jasper?" he turned his head a little and looked at me with an emotionless face.

"Hmm?" I hesitated for a seconds.

"Why was…" I felt tears come into my eyes. I couldn't even say his name! "Why did… he…" I stopped talking, but Jasper was as perceptive as ever.

"She didn't want to drive in this weather." I could see he was literally on the verge of tears but held them back. "She was… going to stay the weekend… my parents are away…" he said suggestively and I nodded. "The storm didn't look that bad… and I just… I didn't…" he stopped talking and took a deep breath before starting again.

"It's barely a ten minute drive and after thirty minutes I called her cell… she didn't pick up. I called the house and they said they left a while ago…" his voice lowered to a whisper.

"You can't blame yourself," I said, at least trying to be comforting. I'm not sure I really managed to pull it off but under the circumstances, I don't think it mattered.

"How can I not?" He said, bowing his head more. "I should have picked her up myself…"

"Then you would have been in the OR…" my voice grew quiet and before I could even really think it, I pushed out the thoughts of him having to pick up Alice himself. Had there been an accident? But to my great horror, I actually, a little, wanted him to have picked her up.

I removed my hand from his shoulder and pulled my knees up close to my chest. How could I think that? That just…. Horrible!

We sat in silence for an immeasurable amount of time. Time didn't really feel the same. Minutes could feel like hours and sometimes, hours could feel like minutes. It's like we were living in The Sims world and someone was pushing the buttons for the time to go faster and the slower and so on and so on.

I haven't seen Rose or Emmett in a while. Esme was a no show also but she has to be here somewhere… right? And as for Carlisle… I could only hope he was in the OR, or at least close by to get some news. I didn't know weather it was good or bad that it has taken such long time… I made the assumption that if they weren't going to make it… it wouldn't have taken this long. I mean, if the damages were so severe, they wouldn't have lived for long.

My mind was blank in one moment and the next it was filled with too many questions and I had no answer for any of them. On one hand, sitting here felt somewhat good. It meant that as soon as there was some vital information, it would be delivered here. For I knew that either Carlisle or Esme would tell us immediately. And it felt like if I even left the spot for more than a second, I would miss the moment where the doctor says they are alive or dead.

"You look like crap," Jasper murmured beside me and I let out a short humourless laugh.

"I feel like it too," I said back.

"Have you gotten any sleep at all?" I shook my head.

"I can't sleep. I can't walk. I can't eat. I can't leave this chair." It probably wouldn't have made much sense to a "normal" person but Jasper nodded in understanding.

"They're gonna get hell when they get out of this." I looked over at him with raised eyebrows. Jasper went on.

"For one thing, Alice isn't allowed to show in… lets say… a month." I laughed a little.

"She wouldn't like that," I said and I saw a faint smile on him.

"And as for Edward… well… you'll have to think of something to torment him with." I laughed a little but then stopped. It felt wrong to laugh. It even felt wrong to smile. Why should I laugh or smile? What do I have to smile or laugh about? My boyfriend and best friend is having surgery from a car accident.

I put my head on my folded knees and closed my eyes, trying to get the noises to leave so I could have some quiet time. But as I closed y eyes, I felt exhaustion take over me and even though I fought it, I could feel myself slipping into oblivion.

I was awakened by a shaking and I felt annoyed above anything else but when I realized I was in the hospital, I jerked up and blinked a few times. Jasper was still beside me. I must have only been asleep for a few minutes. I looked over to see why he had awoken me and as I looked towards my left I saw him.

Carlisle was walking towards us in the overly long corridor. Rose and Emmett were beside us, also looking to the left. I looked at Carlisle's face to see if it read anything. But I could barely see it. He had those long kinds of scrubs on, when you're operating but with the lack off blood (I almost threw up on that thought) I'd say he wasn't their surgeon.

My heart thumped loudly in my chest and for the moment, that was all I could hear. Time, again, felt abnormal. It was like watching someone walk in slow-motion. The hallway stretched out long and for a moment it looked like he was walking on a treadmill.

But right before I was going to scream, he came to a halt in front of us. He brought down the mouthpiece, that I have absolutely no idea what it's called at the moment, slowly.

Did that mean something? Why wouldn't he just take it off fast enough to tell us how they're doing? Did this mean they didn't make it? But that can't be it… if they'd be dead or even one of them… he'd be in the floor crying. Wouldn't he? My mind started reeling with possibilities.

"Dad?" Emmett questioned quietly. I have never heard him sound like that. Not even anything close to that desperate and lonely voice.

Carlisle sighed and rubbed his eyes in tiredness.

"There were…" he started but his voice so hoarse he had to clear it before talking again. "There were some complications…"

"What?" I didn't realise it was my voice until he looked at me.

"The way the car made impact with the tree-" it was Emmett's turn to speak up now.

"So they did hit a tree?" Carlisle nodded.

"The paramedics first on the spot said the car had driven off the road and there was a small plunge down and right into a tree. The entire from of the car was completely smashed. They don't know how but their best guess is because of the weather. It was raining too hard… probably." He stopped talking for a moment in order to compose himself.

"Well start with Alice. Her side of the car wasn't as damages as Edwards and therefore she got away better. But she had some internal bleeding that we were able to stop. She has a concussion, two broken ribs, a fractured wrist, some bruises and a few cuts here and there. The only thing we were worried about was the bleeding and for now, she's stable. She wasn't conscious when the paramedics got her out… all we can do is wait. But we feel she will regain consciousness in a few hours, a day at the most. They are taking her up to the room in a few minutes." He stopped and took a deep breath. I felt my blood pulsing in my ears.

"Edward… was a lot worse. His side was hit the most and he was so pinned into the car they had to cut open the door. He had a large cut under his ribs, by the liver. A piece of metal was still intact as he came into the OR. He has lost a lot of blood. He's still in surgery and from what could see, they have almost stopped the bleeding completely and are looking too see if there are any others." Carlisle stopped talking and for a second I thought that was it. Then he said the one word… "But… at the crash sight, right after the paramedics had gotten him up from the ditch and to the road, they lost his pulse. They did CPR until they used the defibrillator paddles and after a few tries, they got back his pulse. It was weak but enough to transfer him here."

For a moment I basked in the knowledge that he was still alive and that they may have stopped the bleeding all together. But then something occurred to me. I may not be a doctor but I have read enough and watched enough shows to pick up on something.

"How long?" I asked and Carlisle looked at me expectantly.

"How long was he without a pulse? And air?" Carlisle's look turned desperate.

"I'm not sure. But it took a few minutes to get him out of the car and onto the road. They say he had a pulse when they started sawing but they're not exactly sure when it stopped." At first, I got mad. How could they just loose track of a human pulse?! That was their job!

"It's not their fault," Carlisle reassured me. The wind and rain was so severe, they just wanted them out of there and to the hospital." I nodded and then stayed quiet. I felt numb. I've heard that if the brain is left without oxygen for some amount of time, within a few minutes, the cells starts to die and you can get brain damage.

I wanted to cry. Knowing he had internal bleeding and that it was hard to manage, was almost too difficult to hear but now this? To know he could possibly have some brain damage? Now I wanted to cry.

What if went into a coma and never woke up? He'd be a vegetable for the rest of his life. I couldn't live with that. Knowing he was love but had as much ability to talk and walk as a dead person. It'd be too much.

Not that we have ever talked about this but he would never want that. To be in life support until… forever. But could I ever let him go?

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**AN: How was it? I'm not begging for reviews but it's nice to know what ya'll think. I know it's a little short but life'****s gonna be like that sometimes… Sorry for the errors and such. Everyone has flaws. And about all the "doctor talk" and all that, I have just taken it from my experience with Grey's Anatomy and in writing it looked good so... don't shoot me it there's something "wrong". **

**So anyhow… I'm thinking I'm gonna change my pen name. Any thoughts**** as to what I should change it to? **


	26. Alternative universe

**AN: Sorry for taking so long. I've been having some difficulty with writer's block and most of you know how frustrating it is. You know what you want to write but no words come into the mind. I've been writing on this the entire day and now I'm tired and I just want this updated to I can move on to the next chapter. I don't think this is the best one but... you know.... that happens...  
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_Alternative universe_

The day went by slower than I ever thought imaginable. Psychology didn't usually have that affect on me. Normally, I found it refreshing and utterly fascinating to be studying the human mind and how such a small thing can mean so much. Of course I know that one small and seemingly insignificant thing don't always have a great meaning but I do like that I can freak people out, explaining how their alcohol or drug consumption is based on their deep loss of a parental figure, by using words they will never understand.

My professor made noises that I knew were words but I couldn't make them out. Instead, I simply stared out the window. The day was unnaturally bright. The sun was shining – not uncommon in New York – and the trees were almost completely green again after the too sort winter. Three days of real snow that actually stuck to the pavement. Un-fucking-believable.

But late spring, almost to the point of summer, is the best time. It's not cold enough for an extra coat but not hot enough that you seek out water like you're gonna drop dead the next second of dehydration.

The movements of the other students alarmed me and I started looking around. The professor sat at his desk, looking through papers while the room buzzed with words going over words. In my studying of the outdoors, I've completely forgotten about the time.

As I made my way down the stairs and towards the door, a bored voice made me halt.

"Miss Swan. May I have a word with you?" His too snobbish British accent was something you had to be around to get used to. It was also something you didn't want to be around. It's annoying he's such a genius. I took a deep breath and turned around slowly.

"Something wrong professor?" I couldn't help but hear our dialogue like amateur actors would say it in a porn movie. I need therapy.

"Actually no," he said and stood up, bringing a small stack of papers with him and laying it down in front of me on the desk. It was my last essay. The only thing I could focus on was the giant red A that adorned the right upper corner. Numbly, I reached out and grabbed the essay, flipping through it and looking over the questions in the margins.

"That is really good work, Miss Swan." I was still a little numb. I wasn't one to usually get A's and every time it happened I was always the same; in awe. But I finally got back to my senses.

"Than- Thank you." It was weird to see ones teacher as a human being and not the dictator you believe them to be during grading times. He gave a small nod and sat back down. I walked out and immediately walked into a huge wall that I was a seconds away from recognizing as a person.

"Jesus," I exclaimed as I accidentally dropped my books. "Will you watch where you're going?" I asked rhetorically as I dropped to the floor to gather my books and notebooks.

"Sorry," said a deep and slightly husky voice and I looked up and straight into dark – almost black – eyes.

"I- its fine," I stumbled over my words as he straightened and I did the same. He gave a small smile which was more a twitch at the corners of his lips, I don't know why but I was oddly transfixed by him. He had that boyish and childlike essence about him.

"I'm Jacob," the boy said and handed me two of my fallen books.

"Hi. You just transferred or something?"

"Or something," he said with a chuckle. We stood there for a few seconds before I broke our eye contact and looked down. Like I said; he's transfixing. I looked up at him one more time and he was staring at me with intense eyes.

"I've gotta go. I have class in five minutes." I moved around him and started walking down the hall.

"Wait!" Jacob said and stopped. "You didn't tell me your name."

"You're right… I didn't," I said, gave him a small smile and walked away.

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History didn't go any better than Psychology but this time, the weather didn't have anything to do with it.

I really tried to be interested in Alexander the Great but the Greek didn't do it for me.

_That's what she said_, my mind commented back at me and I almost rolled my eyes in the middle of class.

What was it about this Jacob that I found so… I wasn't going to say the T word again. Alluring? No that wasn't it. Familiar was more like it. Maybe I have seen him before and it's driving me crazy not knowing where.

Maybe if I seem him again I should ask him if he has seen me before. Would that be weird? Maybe we could even grab some coffee, though I don't drink coffee. Isn't that more of an expression? What am I talking about? I've met the boy for less than five minutes and I'm already expecting to meet him again and go drink coffee that I don't like. If my upbringing didn't ensure me endless hours of therapy, my line of thinking at this moment certainly will.

"Bella?" I looked at and the entire class and the professor were all looking at me expectantly. I fought back the blush that was threatening to expose itself.

"I'm sorry what?" I ignored a few snickers and sent some glares their ways. Professor Mayer sighed dramatically.

"I asked if you would like to share your opinions on Fall of the Empire and the East." It was like he was speaking Latin to me. I kept on staring, trying to form a sentence that had anything to do with what he asked for. I got nothing.

"Not really" I said stupidly and felt like I wanted to sink into my seat and become one with the tree. The professor sighed, again for a dramatic affect.

"It would give great insight if you cared to listen in class Miss Swan." Who does he thinks he is?

"There will be a pop quiz tomorrow on what we discussed this afternoon." He gave me a glance and I swear he smirked. Fucking asshole! "So be prepared," he continued and soon left the room. I growled in frustration and looked around for someone that I could ask for notes.

I couldn't ask either Lauren or Jessica. I don't know what I did to piss them off but I apparently did and they've been a bitch to me ever since I started here two years ago. Maybe it had something to do with me being such good friends with Tyler, Laurens on and off boyfriend for over a year. He could do so much better.

"Tyler!" I said and I was given a nasty look from said bitch and her friend which followed her masters every move.

Tyler was a very handsome guy. The dark brown hair worked well with his olive toned skin. It helped that he was one of the most decent persons I've met at NYU.

"Hi Bella," he greeted as he waited in front of the class.

"I was just wondering–" I started but was cut off by Lauren and her little lapdog.

"Tyler," she said in what was supposed to be an alluring way but just sounded nasal. "Why don't we go and… have a cup of coffee. I'm sure you don't want to spend any more time with… _her_," she sneered at me and I scrunched up my eyebrows in thought of what I could have possibly done to her. Not that we would ever be friends but really… what I do? And besides, she really shouldn't do anything more destructive to her health. She already looks like she's in her mid twenties and not in a good way.

I rolled my eyes as he took her arm that was draped over his shoulder and told her he would see her later. The bitches walked away, giving me the stink eyes and I huffed.

"Why do you ever waste your time on her? She's ridiculous."

"You don't know her-"

"And I never want to-"

"Like I do. You'll never understand. She has her moments."

"Yeah sure. I bet she's not even quiet when she sleeps. Probably snoring worse than my father does and that's really saying something." He chuckled but quickly recovered himself.

"Was there something you wanted?" I raised an eyebrow.

"What? I can't talk to you like a friend? Do I have to have a reason?" I asked with innocent laced in my voice.

"No you don't but I know you do. I was in the same you as you were. Can I just e-mail my notes later. I have to meet Lauren now." We quickly said our goodbyes and I set my way to my dorm room.

Like always at this time of the day, the room was empty and I could relax. Psychology was always the earliest class. If it wasn't so interesting, I would have dropped it a long time ago. I hate getting up early in the morning. That's my one weakness.

I fell asleep and that new guy, Jacob, came into my mind. He was definitely attractive and he had that smile that would make anyone smile within a ten feet radius. I woke up by my phone beeping, signalling I got a message.

_Looks like I didn't need your __name after all. _

I stared at the message and felt my pulse accelerate in excitement.

_I guess you didn't. How did you find out my name? _

I answered in a daze.

_Oh… a little birdie told me. _

_Birdie huh? Does this birdie have a name? _

_Why? So you can thank her? _

_So it's a she? Actually, I was gonna press charges. What kind of a nut would give out a name and number to a complete stranger who, for all she knows, could be a serial killer? _

I was grinning as I pressed send. I even giggled a little and I have absolutely no idea why. It was just the mere thought of him that made me all giddy on the inside.

_So then there's no need for me to even ask you to go on a date with me?_

I was a little take aback by his bluntness. It wasn't like me to go out with a guy I had juts met. But I guess that's what college is for. Though I think I'll leave a message where I'm going. You can never be too sure now days. Oh god! I sound like my father! How terrible!

_I wouldn't say that. _

_So… dinner and a movie tomorrow? _

Really? He couldn't be a little more original? That's just so cliché and blank.

_Make it lunch. _

_I did see a coffee shop right across campus. _

_I'll meet you there. _

I didn't sleep well that night. It could have been because I had just finished my homework; 20 pages on Alexander the great. You know, every tie I open that bloody book, I can almost feel it expanding with new and boring material for me to read. The pages are as thin as in the bible.

Nevertheless, I woke up to a tremendously annoying sound that was my alarm clock. Give in was a Saturday, I let myself sleep in. that was the only thing about having Victoria as my roommate; she never woke up at an ungodly hour like all the other goodytwoshoes around here.

The place was crowded. I guess every person on campus needs their caffeine. Junkies.

Even as I stood there in all the clutter of students, prying on their day off, I could still feel that I was being watched. More than that, I could literally _feel_ a person standing behind me. I turned around slowly and there he was. Smiling that sunshine smile at me and I couldn't help myself when I felt my own set of lips curl up.

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That was 2 years ago. I've now graduated college and Jake and I are living together in a small but nice apartment. The weather was crappy as always but that's the north. You've gotta get used to it and I've made my peace with not living in the sunnier places.

My life is going great. I'm working as a teacher, actually. I wanted to further educate myself as a psychologist but Jake and I talked about it and we didn't have the money for it. Especially not Jake was going to open his own garage. He's always been good with cars. But working as kindergartner teacher had its ups and downs. I've never really liked kids but it was good enough and I shouldn't blame the kids for things that they don't' understand.

At the moment, I was sitting by my desk and waiting for the clock to get to 2. That's when they were all let off and I have had a really crappy day. I overslept and was bitchy as hell when I arrived. It didn't help that I was PMSing like crazy either.

But all things must come to and end and when 2 O'clock arrived, I breathed out in relief and started to gather my things as parents arrived to take home their kids.

I was stacking some papers to get into my bad as a pair of strong arms circled my waist and a hard chest pressed against my back. I small smile played against my lips as I turned around to see my boyfriend of two years. Or he will be in a few weeks.

"Hello," I said and reached up to give him a small kiss.

"Well hello to you too," he said and returned it.

"Ew!" We broke apart and chuckled together as 8 year old Charlie walked out of the room with his mother in tow. She rolled her eyes and shook her head towards us and I chuckled once more.

"Are you ready to go?" Jake asked as he let me go and I got back to getting all my papers for the weekend.

"Yeah. Just a sec." I bend over to get some last quizzes we had been doing for the day.

"Take your time. I have the most amazing view right now," I opened my mouth to say something about being horribly offended but voted against it. He would have me laughing before I got the whole sentence out.

"Do you now?" I asked and turned around with my eyebrows risen. He smirked and walked towards me slowly.

"Well not right." He trapped me against the desk and captured my lips in a heated kiss and I returned it.

But there was something odd. Kissing Jake had always been great but as time grew, it had become more and more… blah. It's like we've lost out passion. And that terrified me. being the only serious boyfriend I've ever had, I only knew this and it scared me that I might not be able to work.

"I love you," Jake said as he rested his forehead against mine, breathing deeply. I could barely get a smile on my lips before it went away. We got to the car and Jake drove us home.

I don't know what it was but I was getting less and less happy. I refused to think that it had something to do with Jake. He was my everything and he was a really good guy. But sometimes in the middle of the night, I would wake up and feel completely hopeless. I would even start to cry and had to get to the bathroom so that Jake wouldn't hear me.

I started getting worried that I was depressed. And not the kind you could fix with some chocolate and ice cream. It was like I didn't care, anymore. About anything. And that scared me too. I could feel the emotion all over me, even doing nothing, just sitting in the car, listening to Metallica (Jake's favourite band). I could even feel the tears wanting to well over but I forced them back. We were minutes away from the apartment. I could hold it in.

"You okay?" I kept on staring out into the bright day.

"Yeah." But I didn't sound convincing. I sounded like I wanted to die. Jake parked the car but made no motion to leave. Neither did I.

"What is going on with you?" Even though I could hear sincere concern in his voice, I still caught on to some annoyance. It made me want to cry even harder and I had no idea why.

"I don't know," I whispered truthfully. I felt a warm hand under my chin, forcing my head towards him. I let him, as I felt like I had not power not to. He looked into my eyes for a moment before letting me go. Jake sighed and got out of the car.

Before we even made it to the front door, he turned around and almost started to yell at me.

"I don't get you, now-a-days." He started and then spoke a little quieter.

"You're quiet all the time. You never want to talk. To me or your friends. You shut yourself out and sometimes I wake up to hear you crying form the bathroom." He knew? I felt a tear slide down my cheek and I lowered my head in shame.

"So I'm going to ask you this one time and I need you to b honest with me." I looked up.

"Are you cheating on me?" My eyes widened and I gaped on shock. How could he think that?

"No," I said strongly but he didn't seem to believe me.

"Then what is it?!" He practically yelled it at me and I flinched back.

"I don't know!" I yelled back.

"You think I'm doing this on purpose? I don't know what's wrong with me. All I know is that for some time now, I have been feeling completely like shit. Most days, I wake up, wanting to cry for no reason at all." I snapped back to reality and ran a hand through my hair.

"Could we not do this here?" Jake agreed and we walked inside. I took off my jacket and hung it up neatly and go into the kitchen.

"I have to be back at the garage in a few minutes." I nodded but didn't look at him. I heard him shuffle his feet closer and held on to my shoulders. I stiffened and cringed away and he immediately let go.

"Do you not love me anymore?" He sounded so broken. Like a lost puppy or something. I turned around and my truthful response would have been that I didn't know but I couldn't do that to him. I sucked it up and lied.

"Of course I do." I even mustered up a fake smile. I'm not sure whether or not he bought it but he gave me a quick kiss, told me he loved me again and then left for work.

I felt numb as I did some chores around the house. Laundry, emptying and filling the dishwasher. It all felt foreign and sometimes, I could loos myself. Forgetting what I was about to do but remembering not a second later. It was scaring me.

Was I sick?

Depression?

Tumour?

I had heard that certain types of tumours could make you act all weird. Maybe I was bipolar. But that didn't seem likely. With my luck, it was probably cancer.

I tried not to get myself worked up about nothing and starting on dinner. The chicken tasted dry and the sauce was too lumpy. Jake didn't comment on it but I could see the distaste in his eyes every time he took a bite. It almost made me smile to think that he loved me enough to eat horribly food.

After we'd spend some time watching TV, I was getting tired and Jake went with me, not really feeling like being up if I wasn't.

As I stood by the bathroom sink, looking at my reflection – a reflection I didn't recognise anymore – Jake came up behind me. I watched him in the mirror as he placed both of his hand son my shoulders, like before. But this time I didn't flinch away.

He slowly brought his head down and started kissing my neck. His eyes closed and for the first time, it felt wrong that Jake was doing this. We haven't had sex for some time now and that made guilty. I didn't know what to do but to turn around and started to kiss him. I thrust my tongue into his mouth and he returned my eagerness.

But something wasn't right and I knew it and yet I let both of us go so far that there was no going back. To my horror, it actually felt like I was being raped but willingly. I wasn't turned on, though he clearly was. It hurt even but he kept going. The quiet whimpers were from soreness and not pleasure. Jake finished quickly and I held onto his shoulders, feeling like I was on the brink of crying again.

He stilled and if felt him release inside me. He kissed me chastely and then rolled off me. I wasn't sure if he noticed my lack of engagement but I didn't have to dwell on whether or not he would say anything.

Jake fell asleep soon enough but I couldn't. I felt like crying again. What we just did felt so wrong. I felt so lost and broken and I wanted it to stop. It wasn't like the other times we made love.

I left the bed, threw on one of Jakes shirts and patted into the bathroom where I sat on the floor and leaned against the tub. The tears came, like I suspected, but the sobs were kept back.

My entire body began to shake but I didn't want to wake him so I pressed my teeth and lips together, willing the pain to go away. I don't know how long I sat there but it must have been more than a few hours. I never went to sleep.

In the distance, I could hear a faint ringing and at first I ignored it. But then it became too loud to ignore and before I knew it, my eyes open, even though they just were and the first thing coming into my vision was a ceiling. It was a white ceiling.

_Where the fuck am I?_

Then it all started to sink in.

_It was all a dream? _

Reality came crashing down upon me and my mind seems to spin. The dream – I was sure it was a dream – had seemed so real. Is that normal? I rolled my head to the side. 03:56, my clock read. Unusual time to be waking up. But as I tried to get back to sleep, consciousness kept coming back at me and I sighed in frustration.

I think I jumped ten feet into the air as my phone suddenly stared to buzz on the bed, a mere two inches from my head. I checked the person who was calling at this ungodly hour and was about to tell them to quickly fuck off but I didn't get a chance for when I pressed the green phone at the bottom, a shaken but calm voice said two words I have been waiting to hear for about two weeks now.

"He's awake."

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**AN: ****Sorry for any grammar errors and such. I'm only human. I hope it was still readable. I was so out of material on what I should write, so an über AU was semi perfect. Just writing that Edward's in a coma and how Bella is feeling about it can't go on and on forever.I was in a deep state of depression when i wrote this. I have been reading another story; _Stripped _by punkfarie and that's why the emotion change so drastically. From what I've read so far it's a very good story. **

**About this confusing chapter; I really wanted to show just how different Bella's life would be if Edward had never been in it. At all. I know Jacob hasn't been in this story so much and it's not on purpose. I would love to have some more scenes with him but it never really worked out. **


	27. Hesitation

**AN: Once again, I'm sorry for the long update. To say it's overdue would be an understatement. I will be reposting this once I've read through it one more time. This is just because I wanted to update for you guys. Anyways here it is… **

**

* * *

**

_Hesitation  
_

It was cold. The rain had poured down the entire day but gave up about an hour ago. I still couldn't do it. As soon as I had gotten the call I've been waiting for two weeks – I might add – I almost flew to the hospital. I'm not even sure I closed the front door behind me. But now that I was here, I couldn't go in. he was in there. Edward was awake and I couldn't see him.

_What the fuck is wrong with me?! _

I was standing outside the hospital, looking at it with a worried expression. I took one more step and felt panic wash over me and I stopped dead.

Even though my entire body was screaming at me to make a move, I could barely blink, let alone walk. This was an odd feeling, paralyzed but still being in control of my actions. Though, they were very few at the moment. People were staring at me as they passed by. I couldn't have cared any less.

When I chickened out the last time on my slimming patientce, I sighed deeply and sat down on a bench. I hope I didn't look as pathetic as I felt. I couldn't even walk through the  
freaking door!

What the fuck is wrong with me?! I want to see him... right? I mean. I've barely slept in two weeks and the times that I have slept, I've had the weirdest dreams ever. I though I was going to have nightmares of Edward dying but no. Like just last night. What the fuck was that?

Why was I dreaming of Jake? I don't even remember "thinking" of Edward, or even Alice. It mostly freaked me out how miserable and completely... hopeless, I felt.

I stopped trying to dream analyse myself and settled for silently staring at the pavement and watching some very interesting ants travel in the creaks. And by travel I mean engaging in physical activity and by that I mean completely going at it. I had to look away as to not break out laughing. That'd definitely insure me a one-way trip to the loony house.

I knew I should probably call and say I was taking some since I said I'd be there in 10 and that was half an hour ago. Maybe they will think _I_ was in an accident. I was musing in my own little bubble so I didn't even notice when someone sat down next to me. It was embarrassingly long before I finally looked up and jumped when I saw Jasper sitting next to me.

He wasn't watching me and I had to look around a bit to see if he was actually sitting there or if I was having some weird hallucination. Or maybe I was dreaming. That would explain the  
ants, for sure.

"Am I dreaming?" I had to ask but by the sight of his grin and the shake of his head, I was not dreaming just slowly having a metal breakdown.

"What are you doing here? And how did you find me?"

"You do know you said you would be here about fifty minutes ago?" I raised my eyebrows. Had it really been that long? Jasper nodded as if he knew what I was thinking.

"And this was really just coincidental. When Rose said she had called you and said you'd be here soon, I don't think Edward's eyes ever left the clock." By the mention of his name, my heart thumped a little unevenly.

"How is he?" I whispered pathetically and bit at my nails.

"He's fine. Partially." I look up in worry.

"Partially?"

"He's overreacting a little to the time passing. He says he doesn't remember the accident."

"That's all?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"He really, really wants to see you. I mean really, he never ever shuts up about it and that saying a lot since he'd only been awake for a few hours."

I instantly felt guilt wash over me and I rubbed my hands all over my face.

"I feel horrible," I mumbled into my hands and dropped my shoulders in shame.

"Why?" I look up in perplexed confusion.

"Isn't' it obvious?" I wave my hands around us.

"No. I mean why do you have a reason to feel guilty? Just go and see him." I shook my head.

"It's not that simple."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't," I sighed in frustration. "I don't know what's wrong with me," I say in frustrated anguish. "I can't get another feet closer to the doors. I have been sitting here for God-only-knows how many minutes, watching ants do it, and all the while thinking of everything between the sky and the earth except for him. So now... that the fuck is wrong with me?!" I drop my head into my hands and let out a huge breath. It was quiet for a few moments before Jasper spoke.

"Ants were doing it?" I look up on shock but couldn't help but laugh and nod.

"Yeah. But they moved a while ago."

We sat in silence for a few more minutes before Jasper got up and  
turned to me.

"I need to get back or they'll send a search and rescue party for me. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say but you really should come in or i swear Alice will drag you inside. I'm surprised she hasn't gotten out here yet."

He makes a motion to leave but it felt nice to have someone here with me who didn't think I was acting like a lunatic. Or if he did he hid it really well.

"I still think I'm dreaming and I'm going to wake up and he'll still be asleep or dead," I mumbled it out and watched sorrow come to Jasper's face. He sighed and sat down again.

"Bella. Listen to me. You're not dreaming. Believe me. Edward is fine... or as fine as he can be under the circumstances. And what do you mean by still dreaming?"

I shook my head.

"Don't ask," I said to save him the trouble.

"I'm gonna go inside and I'm sure you'll be in soon enough." I nodded without really hearing him. When I didn't move I was surprised when I was gently tugged up and off the bench. Jasper was standing next to me again with a now amused expression.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm getting you inside," he stated and started half dragging me towards the doors. I was so in shock that I couldn't even feel panicked when we got inside the place and then inside the elevator.

"What happened to 'be in soon enough'?"

"I was giving you a window but obviously you weren't planning on taking it. You can't hide outside the hospital. Either I or another would have dragged you inside and believe me when I tell you that you don't want any of them to drag you in because they don't care about causing a scene." I sighed in defeat and started feeling slightly claustrophobic but soon enough, the doors binged and we got out.

As we got closer to the door, I started slowing down and it was freaky how Jasper instantly understood exactly what I was going to say.

"Tell Alice I'll be down in the cafeteria." I nodded and smiled in gratefulness.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

He left down the hall and I watched him walk around the corner, dragging this out for as long as possible, before I finally picked up the courage and got to the doorway.

I prayed to fucking... whatever... that I wasn't dreaming. I don't think I could life through that.

He didn't notice me right away. Only he and Alice were in the room. They were playing some form of card games... I wasn't paying attention. Edward had all of it.

He looked... well... not good. Like hell, actually but at least he was in one piece, almost. His left hand, from his wrist to his elbow, was in a cast and he was sitting awkwardly.

It took another moment but he eventually looked up and froze when he saw me. Alice followed his gaze and screamed out a little when she saw me.

"Bella!" I winced at the volume; though it wasn't she fullest she was capable of.

"Hi," I said meekly, not meeting either of their eyes for more than a second.

Like the little psychic that she is, Alice slowly got up and made her way for the door.

"Jasper said to tell you he's in the cafeteria," I told her as she passed and she nodded and got out of the room.

Dragging time out, I closed the door behind me with a slow motion and turned the lock on. I didn't want any interruptions of any kind.

Turning back to him, Edward was looking at me with a confused expression on his battered face. But even with cuts reaching from his forehead to his toes (I imagine) he was still... I wouldn't use the word perfect. Nothing and no one on this little blue planet are perfect. It's just basic fact. And if we start to think that we live a perfect life with perfect people, soon we'll become bored and seek out something new and exciting. But Edward was a whole new word. All mine, is the best description. Flaws and all.

"What took you so long?" It wasn't the first thing I thought he was going to ask be but it would have to due for now.

"Mental problems," I muttered and walked closer so that I was standing at the side of his bed. He didn't try to reach out to me and as weird as it sounds, I was glad about that.

"Going nuts on me?" I chuckled once but it was forced and breathless.

"A little," I admitted. I ran a hand through my hair and then met his eyes.

"How are you feeling?" It was a stupid question but I couldn't help but ask.

"Fine," Edward said with a shrug of his shoulder but I saw him wince.

"You know... normally when people say that they're fine, they really aren't," I commented and he rolled his eyes.

"I'll be fine.... How are _you _feeling?" I looked away and shook my head.

"Did you really just ask me that?" I said with a little too much anger. He was going to say something but I cut him off.

"You've been in a come for two weeks. Your car drove off the fucking road and into a fucking tree. You probably won't get discharged for at least a few more weeks. Both you and your sister almost died and you are asking me how I'm doing? Are you kidding me?"

I winced at my tone and he raised both of his eyebrows but didn't say anything. It was so much easier to be mad at him.

"Are you actually mad at me?" Edward asked incredulously and I thought about it for a moment.

"Yes," I said seriously. "But you should be glad I'm only partially yelling at you."

"Ah... Why?"

"Because otherwise I would be beating the crap out of you for almost leaving me alone with these people. I mean... I love your family but they do these weird things like ask me how I'm doing and try to take care of me. I just don't know if I can handle any more of it." That made him laugh and he winced again.

"Like you could," he teased arrogantly to which I laughed.

"Oh believe me I could. I may be small but give me a baseball bat and I can do some serious damage."

"Anyone could do damage with a bat." I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Don't take this away from me now."

After we'd chuckled some more at our somewhat stupid behaviour, we got quiet and the tensions was overwhelming.

"So what's been going on?" Edward asked when I thought the air couldn't get any more stuffed.

"About what?"

"Life... I suppose."

"Oh well..." I took a deep breath. "Not much, you know... the usual. School, homework, sometimes I actually slept through the night instead of waking up every 10 minutes."

"Sorry," he said and he sounded so serious I most laughed.

"Well you should be," I replied with a very small smile.

"That's it... really?"

"What?"

"You haven't done anything remotely interesting or fun?"

"Like what?" I scoffed. "The only thing I've actually been able to keep my mind on is you and the fact that you could have died in the crash or maybe wouldn't have woken up at all." I felt tears in my eyes and tried to blink them away.

"Hey," Edward said softly and took my wrist. It was the first contact we've had in a really long time and it felt so good. He pulled me closer to him and I sat down at the side of the bed.

"How long can you stay?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"As long as I'm allowed..." I trailed off suggestively.

"I'd let you hide in the bathroom if that would let you stay the night."

"And who says I can't?"

"The hospital for once and your father for second."

"The hospital wouldn't stand in my way and my father - if he even is that. I have my doubts - would just have to deal with it."

"He would probably have a heart attack."

"Then there really wouldn't be a reason for me to leave," I said happily and Edward rolled his eyes.

"Don't you want me to say?" I said with a pout.

"You have no idea how much I want you to stay but it probably wont be any fun. It's not like I can, or is even allowed, to leave the bed."

"Then we'll watch 3rd rock from the sun and whatever sitcom reruns that are on. And as for the bed rest... I can learn to live with that."

"Don't make me laugh," Edward said with a smile and touched his left ribs.

"Aww... does is hurt?" I said in a voice more reserved for babies. I leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss.

"Yes... It hurts so, so much," he said and brought his hand to the back of my neck and crashed my lips to his. I smiled against him.

"Hurts, does it?" I whispered and changed my posture so I could get closer to him.

"Mhm... so you should probably keep going."

"Haven't been able to do this in two weeks and you really think I'm going to stop."

"I see your point," he mumbled against my yaw. My breathing was getting heavier and even though I knew we should stop - he could pull a stitch - I really didn't want to.

"Good," I said breathlessly moved to my knees and quickly straddled his legs. If my weight hurt him, he did a good job hiding it.

It was getting very hot in the room but before any of the really good part had a chance to begin, Edward broke the kiss.

"What?" I asked, somewhat annoyed.

"Your pocket is vibrating." Huh? That's when I noticed that my pocket was vibrating. I pulled out my phone and it buzzed in my hand. I sighed; well this was a real mood killer.

"Who is it?"

"My supposed father," I grumbled and hit busy. But not two seconds later, the phone started buzzing again and I answered, only because I wanted him to not send out US marshals, looking for me. It's either really sad or really pathetic that I wouldn't be surprised if Charlie did that.

"Hellu," I greeted flippantly.

"Where are you?" His tone was harsh.

"Somewhere.... The hospital."

"Why? Are you hurt?" I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Hold on Charlie." I climbed off Edward.

"I'll be right back," I whispered and walked out the room and put the phone back to my ear.

"Seriously? You don't have any idea why I would be here?"

"It's about the boy?"

"The boy? Stop acting like a five year old and start acting like an adult and call him by his name. Even Jews call Hitler by his name."

"Answer the question Isabella," Charlie grumbled and I cringed at the use of my whole name.

"Yes it's about Edward. He woke up a few hours ago and I got here right away," I said it was the most obvious thing in the world, which, it is. Charlie, on the other hand, didn't really see my point of view.

"You've been gone for hours. I was worried something might have happened to you." I'm sure you were, I thought sarcastically.

"Well I'm alive. I'm gonna be staying here for a while-"

"What bout school? You have to go to school!"

"Charlie... its Friday. That means there's no school for two days. I'm not an idiot, of course I'm going to school."

"I just don't want you to throw away-"

"Okay listen. First of all; with all the crap that you have put me through, you should be glad I haven't moved out and stopped talking to you. Second of all; Edward is a part of my life, a big part, so you should just save yourself the trouble and accept him now or soon enough I wont put up with it anymore."

"I just think you deserve so much-"

"I don't care what you think!" I practically yelled. "Let me live my life how I want it and stop putting in!" I sighed and spoke before he had a chance to.

"I'm going to stay here for as long as I am allowed. Don't call unless it's an emergency. I've gotta go. Bye." I hung up and put the phone back in my pocket.

A little further down the hall I spotted a snack machine and my stomach rumbled at the prospect of getting something to eat. I got some chocolate bars, M&Ms (peanut and choco), a few Red Bulls and a Sprite.

When I got to the room, Edward was sitting with his phone out and texting in an ultra speed. I never knew how he could do that.

"Who are you texting?" I mumbled and shot a few more peanut M&Ms into my mouth.

"Alice," he sighed and put down the phone and I got my seat next to him. "I love my sister but I really wish she would stop hovering."

"She's just concerned about you," I reassured him but understood. After Alice had been discharged she hadn't left me alone for more than two hours.

"What'cha got there?"

"Weeeeel... Candy, soda and Red Bulls." He looked at the items in my arms with huge and hungry eyes.

"You know, if you had said that with much less clothes, this moment would be perfect." I laughed at him and dumped the sweets on that small table fit to the bed.

He reached for a Red Bull but I quickly got them out of his reach.

"What are you doing?" He whined.

"Did you really think I'd let you drink that much caffeine after being in a coma for two weeks?" I said in an overly sweet voice and he looked at me with a sour expression.

"I was hoping," he grumbled stubbornly.

"You're so adorable," I chuckled and he stuck his tongue out at me.

"If you don't look out, I'm gonna bite your tongue off."

"Well that would be more of a loss for you than me," he said with that sexy grin and I looked away as to not blush.

"Eat your candy and shut up." I shoved the chocolate at him and buried my face in the M&M bad.

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**AN: I know it ended quite abruptly but this isn't the end. I've promised 30 chapters and 30 chapters there will be! ****Btw… do you guys want an epilogue? I'm not sure if I'm going to have one but maybe it will be nice to see these people in the not so distant future. **

**As always; sorry for any grammar errors… I try to make the chapters perfect for you but as I've written before, there's no such thing as perfect. **


	28. Compromises

**I really have been struggling with this chapter. In my mind, the story's pretty much done. I just have some last tie-ups to cover and then the prologue will come. And I can promise that it will not end like EVERY other Twilight FanFic's on this bloody page. Be a little original people! **

**Anywho… let's get on with it….! **

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_Compromises _

"How can you say that?!"

"How can you argue against me? It's always like this!"

"No it's not!"

"Give me one example that didn't completely suck and ruin the entire series."

"There are so many! The Texas chainsaw massacre remake was so much better than the original."

"Oh come on! It was a weak attempt at bringing back horror movies into the pop culture and it didn't work."

"Are you kidding me? It's a horror movie. It's supposed to have blood and gore and a larger budget than $1000."

"Maybe, but it still blows."

I sighed. We were getting nowhere. I'm not entirely sure how we got into this argument (that it's not only the first movie in a series that's worth watching). We were all going to be watching a movie. Alice and I had gone to pick a movie and somehow, this bickering started.

"Want to know what I think?" Edward asked as he observed us from his place on the couch.

"No," both Alice and I said in unison and turned back, facing each other.

"What about SAW? That series has been going downhill ever since the second movie got out and now they're on which? The sixth? Sometimes people need to know when to stop."

"There is nothing wrong with SAW."

"They're nauseating," Alice said with a disgusted frown.

"They're horror movies; they're supposed to be nauseating. If they're not then it's not a good horror movie," I enunciated the sentence, like I was talking to a child. It was kind of fun to be arguing with someone.

"Whatever," Alice huffed. "But I still don't want to see High School Musical." I grimaced.

"When was that movie ever an option?" Alice thought about it for a moment.

"I'm not sure. I think it was when you said it wasn't the worst ever made. Then I disagreed and said it was a cheap knock off from Grease and then somehow, this all led to prequels and sequels of horror flicks," she shrugged her shoulders.

"Interesting," I said, deep in thought. A throat cleared from the couch and both Alice and I shook our heads and looked at Edward.

"What?" We said in unison.

"I think he wants the two of you to settle on a fucking movie sometime today," Rose – ever so subtle – said as she walked into the room with a huge bowl of popcorn in her hands. It smelled heavenly of butter.

I looked over at the collection and before Alice even had a time to respond, I reached out and grabbed the first one I saw.

"The Exorcist! Maha!" I mocked Alice and she grimaced my way. I plopped din the DVD and we all sat down to watch the horror.

An hour and ten minutes later I was so into the movie I probably wouldn't have noticed an earthquake. I was absentmindedly plopping popcorns and Coco M&Ms into my mouth. But the long term annoyance was right next to me and had a pillow shoved into her facer, looking over the edge. I looked at her incredulously and saw Jasper smile while, with his arm around her shoulder, playing with a bit of her hair.

I leaned over towards Edward and got close to his ear.

"Your sister's such a wimp," he chuckled and pulled me close. I was never one to openly display any kind of personal affections but I let him hold me close with his good arm and actually laid my head against his shoulder. He had just been released from the hospital.

While the Exorcist was an all-time classic, I was way too tired to remember that and soon started to doze off to the sound of Linda Blair screaming bloody murder.

When I came to it, I was way too comfortable to still be on the couch. I rolled over with a sigh and crashed into something hard.

"Ow," a groggy voice said and I shot up.

"Shit!" I whisper yelled. "I'm so, so sorry," I continued to apologize and turned the lights on.

Edward looked at me with squinted eyes and tried to shield himself form the light with his hand.

"I'm sorry!" I whisper yelled some more. "Did I hurt you?" I looked over him frantically and just barely caught his eye roll.

"I'm fine. Stop worrying so much." I huffed and laid back down in darkness.

"Kind of hard not to when you almost dies," I muttered so low I thought he didn't hear me. But then he sighed and I felt the bed shift with him. I was turned away from him and even though I knew he was staring into my back, I didn't turn around.

"Bells," he said softly and ran two fingers over my bare arm. Goosebumps appeared and I was sure he was grinning smugly at the effect.

I shifted away from him and I frowned at his sigh.

"I just go out of the hospital and you're not even going to talk to me?" He made his voice so sad. It was unfair!

"No," I said angrily and sat up, holding my hands behind me. "Don't do that. Don't make me feel guilty for… whatever I'm mad about." It was too dark to be sure but I was sure he was rolling his eyes and smiling amusingly. I remained silent and turned my head away from him.

He had to grab my arm, force me to lie down and when I was as stiff as a stone, he pulled me more until I was turned towards him on my side. The moon shone through the window and I could see him looking at me but I wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Won't you talk to me?" I looked at him but didn't say anything.

"How can you joke about it?" I asked after a few moments. He didn't answer.

"You almost died, Edward. Do you understand that? You don't take it seriously." I turned back on my back and ran a hand over my face and through my hair.

"I get it Bella. I really do. The reason I joke about it is because it's easier. Let's just drop it." He sounded annoyed and I really didn't want to get into a fight now, or ever. It always made me feel guilty to be mad at him when he was still using crutches.

I don't know when but I finally fell into a restless sleep. When I finally awoke, my neck ached from my weird position. The bed was empty and I crawled out and into the empty hallway. Since Edward was still using crutches, it was too hard for him to use all those stairs so he was temporarily using the guest bedroom downstairs.

I waddled my way into the kitchen where most of the family was gathered. Minus Emmett, Rose and Alice.

"Mornin'" I slurred groggily and pushed my hair out of my face.

"Morning," both of them said in unison and took a sip of their coffees. I started at them for a second. Did they rehearse that? Shaking my head, I opened the fridge and pulled out pulp-free raspberry yoghurt.

Sitting down at the island, conveniently, Edward got up.

"I'm gonna take a shower." I didn't say anything but picked at my yoghurt.

"What the hell was that?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"He's pissed about me because I keep telling him to take things more seriously and I'm pissed at him for not taking things more seriously."

"And by things you mean…?"

"His accident." Jasper nodded.

"Should be interesting to see who cracks first." I snorted.

"Well it is not gonna be me. Not if he wants to get into my pants again… ever."

"Not at all disturbing." I chuckled.

"Where's Alice? She's usually up at the crack of dawn." Since Edward got home, or even after he woke up, I've been practically living here. I avoided Charlie to all costs and hadn't spoken to him in a few days.

"She was really tired." The way he said it with the implications made me frown. I missed sex.

"That's too much information." Jasper only smirked.

Edward was taking his sweet time in the bathroom and after I was done getting dressed I sat with my back resting on the headboard. I pulled out my mp3 and my new copy of _No Time for Goodbye_. Very decent book actually. Better than I thought.

I barely got through one chapter before the door opened and I could literally feel the heat from the shower touch me and it made me shiver. I ignored him and I could see him, in my peripheral vision, going the same to me. It was a little hard being with someone who was as stubborn as me.

"This is ridiculous!" Edward exclaimed and I looked up at him.

"Are we really fighting about this?" I marked my page and set down the book.

"Not sure," I replied and bit my lip. "Look. I know I'm not the most serious person myself," he snorted and I ignored him. "But this is so much different. You make it sound like… like you weren't just discharged for being in a coma for two weeks. Two weeks Edward. You do realize that with every hour passing by, we thought weren't going to wake up, ever." I wasn't the touchy-feely type of person and it was really hard for me to say all of this without sounding like such a girl.

"Bells," his face softened but I shook my head and had to pinch myself not to cry. I hated crying people.

"You almost left us. I don't …" the bed shifted and I pulled my knees closer to my chest. A hesitant hand came to rest upon my shoulder and then went through my hair.

"You don't?" I knew he knew what I meant but the bastard wanted me to say it out loud. I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath.

"I don't know what I would have done," I said quietly. I felt his head come closer to mine and his lips touched my temple. I could feel him smile.

"Was that so hard?" I chuckled once but my smile disappeared as soon as it came.

"You would have been fine… In time" He reassured me as I leaned into him. I only shook my head. I actually got emotional enough that my vision blurred. I groaned.

"God, I'm such a girl," I wined and wiped my cheeks free from water. Edward laughed and traced my neck with a cold finger.

"You know, that's one of the best things I like about you."

"Really? That's chocking," I joked.

I took a deep breath and collected myself.

"Okay. That was a really emotional moment."

"Agreed. How should we move past it?" I pretended to think about it for a moment.

"Let's not talk about it. Ever." Edward nodded.

"You do know you're emotionally disturbed right?"

"Totally." I smiled at him and leaned in, pressing my lips against his.

"I have to go home."

"No you don't," Edward responded and plopped back onto the bad, pulling me with him.

"Yeah I do. I don't have any clean clothes here-"

"So use the washing machine." I looked at him like he was insane.

"I don't know how to do laundry. And I need new clothes. If I don't change more often, Alice will dress me up in her clothes and they're too small."

"How is that bad?" Edward asked with a crooked grin. I slapped him lightly on the shoulder and got off the bed. I started packing my bag and stared when Edward started picking at his foot cast.

"I hate this thing," he muttered.

"It's a cast Edward. It's not supposed to be nice."

"But it could heal a little faster."

"You and me both," I muttered and zipped up the bag.

"Well I'm off to avoid the warden, i.e. my father. So don't think you got the short straw." He grimaced my away and I made a kissing motion towards him and left the room."

The drive home made me fidget. I know I shouldn't even care if he's home. I shouldn't care, period. He may be my biological father but until recently, he has never acted like it. He's just a control freak.

Since the universe seemed to hate me recently, Charlie's car was in the driveway.

I quickly shoved my shoes of and made a bee-line for the laundry room and dumped my clothes in the hamper. I was ready to run up the stairs and lock myself in my room, get new clothes, my laptop and leave. It was Sunday and I was all planned to stay at Edward's tonight and any other night I felt like. I don't remember the last time I slept in my own bed.

But that was going to take time for Charlie was standing in the doorway, blocking me in.

"Jesus!"

"Isabella." I grimaced.

"I don't remember the last time you called me that."

"That's because I make it habit to call you that if you've been behaving stupidly." I closed my eyes and nodded.

"I get it. I'm a huge disappointment. You hate me and is ashamed of me. Can you let me pass now?"

"I want you to be responsible. I don't want you to wake up one morning and wonder what happened to your life. Be married before you're done with college. Drop out of college because you get pregnant and have too many kids to handle."

"That is never going to happen. No listen to me!" Charlie was about to argue but I needed him to see that that's never going to be my life.

"I have absolutely no intention of ever getting married. You've killed my shots of that. Second of all, I don't have any desire to have kids. They scream all the time and they're so demanding. I don't think I'll ever grow up enough for that. Thirdly, I'm not even sure I want to go to college. That has nothing to do with Edward. It has to do with me. Not everything can be traced back at him. This is such a cliché, but maybe I want a year or two off. College is expensive and I don't want to throw money away for some education that I may not even want."

"How can you say that about something as important as education?"

"Because, in the end, education means nothing. You do what you love because you're good at it and you learn from that. I get that you care about me. But if you smother me like this, soon enough, you won't get to call me your daughter."

I pushed around him in a dramatic exit and made my way up to my room. I dumped my bag in the bed and opened my closet. I didn't really care what I was brining. I just wanted out of the house as soon as possible.

"Did you really mean all that?" I stopped unhooking my laptop and looked towards the hallway. He looked like he wanted to believe me but couldn't really do it.

"About not wanting kids', marriage and maybe not college? Yeah, I did." I went back to unplugging the device and stuffing that too in my bag.

"Okay," I froze, turning around slowly – as if making a sudden movement might shatter what I was sure was about to happen.

"What?"

"I will take your word for it." I blinked. "I will take your word that you won't end up pregnant, married and dropped out of college – on that order – by the time you're twenty. I will also ease up – a little! – on the boy." I was speechless. Was this really happening?

"But," my hopes dropped into my stomach. "I want you to do something for me."

"What?" I asked warily.

"I want you to walk to Renee." At first I wasn't sure what I had just heard.

"Because it went so well last time?"

"She wants to be in your life."

"Is that why she hasn't even tried to get in touch with me this entire time. Not that I would talk to her even if she did."

"I told her not to. I never gave her your number. I wanted you to ask for yourself but apparently, I was going to have to push a little."

"This is blackmail."

"Yeah. I guess it is," Charlie said with a smile. I gaped at him but quickly composed myself.

"I'll agree to talk to her. That's it. I'm not promising anything. And you have to promise to not forget everything you just said."

"Deal."

As I left the house I couldn't help but to wonder if that just happened. I didn't want to ever talk to Renee again but the fact that Charlie promised to ease up on everything was so tempting. Maybe things would be okay, eventually.

One step at a time.

* * *

**The next chapter will be the final one. Except for the epilogue. I have to give you all a little insight to the future of the couples. I'm sorry the chapters are really short now but to me, the story's pretty much told and it's just the Renee thing that's last thing on my checking list. **


	29. Finish line

_Finish line_

Why was I this nervous?

You'd think I just killed someone and stuffed him in the trunk of my car. But I suppose I should be nervous. I had been picking up things for the last hour. The kitchen was picture perfect. Like out of a catalogue. You could eat off of the floor.

My stomach was hurting, as if I was hungry. But the thought of food made me nauseous. The thought of sitting down made me want to jump. The thought of standing up made me want to pace and pacing made me want to sit down and so it goes. An endless circle.

When the doorbell finally rang I was all nervoused out (is that a word?) and could only jump I surprise and stand my ground, making Charlie grumble and get up to open the door. The traitor walked through the archway and smiled brightly at me. She made her wait towards me – as if she was going to give me a hug or something – but I put up my hand.

"Personal space," I retorted and her smile disappeared.

"Fair enough." Charlie and Renee both sat down at the table but I stood leaning against the island.

"Don't you want to sit down?" Renee asked cautiously.

"I'd rather stand," I replied coldly. She looked down at my callousness.

"Bella," Charlie said warningly. "You said-"

"I said I would talk to her. I didn't say I was going to be nice."

"It's okay Charlie. I've earned it." Renee looked at me.

"I've not been a good mother to you-"

"You haven't been a mother to me." She sighed.

"True. I don't deserve to be forgiven and I'm not asking for that. It's not fair for you to trust me when all I've done is let you down. But you have to understand one thing Bella. And I'm not saying this to make up for what I did but just listen. I was very young when I became pregnant with you. I was a kid myself, not much older than you are now. I'm not saying this to be cruel – I want o be honest with you – but I wasn't planning on having a kid. I was immature and I wanted to do other things with my life than raise a baby and therefore I did something unforgivable." All I could do was stare at her.

"Of course it was horrible to just leave. I've beat myself up over this for a really long time. I convinced myself that I was doing the right thing. Charlie would be a good father and would take care of you in a way that I never could have."

"What are you trying to say here?" I intervened.

"Did you just come here to say you're too immature to have a kid and that you are just making that clear because staying away clears that up very nicely?"

"No. Not at all. I'm saying that while I used to place myself in front of everything, I'm not going to do that anymore."

"It's a little too late for that."

"Nothing's ever too late." I looked away from her. I wanted to leave. Go to Edward's, even if we did absolutely nothing the entire day. Reading in the living room while the boys battled in the newest Halo game – or whatever it's called.

"I think you're wrong," I muttered.

"Maybe. But I'm not going to back down now. Time will tell that I'm being very serious. I'm not going to leave this time."

"We'll see."

"Yes," she agreed with a smile. "We will."

It was a short talk. Much shorter than I was expecting. As soon as she was out of the house and I could hear her start her car an drive off, I let out a breath of relief. Technically, I didn't have to see her again. Charlie wanted me to talk to her. He never said how many times. I could go back to hating her guts and live on with my life with Charlie easing up on everything.

But why did I get a huge lump in my stomach when I thought of that? It didn't seem fair. She abandoned me. Whilst I do get what she was saying, she literally fed me to the dogs. She had no idea how hard it was growing up with Charlie as an only parent.

I still had a nanny by the time I was ten and she only went away because I convinced Charlie she was stealing from us. I sheltered myself as I got my first period when I was thirteen because I was too freaked out to tell Charlie about it. I actually had to talk to the school nurse. That was a very awkward conversation. Fortunately, we moved not two weeks later.

That was another thing. We moved faster than some unpacked. I never had any real friends. He took my childhood away from me. That was her fault. I don't know how my life would have looked like if she hadn't walked out. But I think I know how one thing would be different, Edward. Would I have met him if she never walked away? Would I have had such a hard skin than I knew how to protect myself from anyone who wanted to get close to me?

I don't know any of those and even though I would never admit this out loud, I don't think I would change that. Edward was probably the only good thing in my life right now, except his family. I don't way it often, or ever, but he has no idea how much he means to me. He actually understands when I don't tell him I love him, every single day. I had a hard time saying it the first time. Not because it wasn't true but because I was sure that he would leave once I've revealed myself that emotionally.

I was brought out of my thoughts as I realized I was the house. I needed to stop thinking so much when I was driving, I don't even remember how I managed to drive here with my head so clouded.

I bit my lip as I looked over myself in the small mirror above my head. I had circles underneath my eyes and my skin looked even paler – if it possible – and any hint of a self-blush was wiped away. Even my hair seemed lifeless – despite the fact that I took a shower just this morning. It was without its usual and natural curliness and shine. My cheeks looked thinner and my collarbones were even more pronounced.

Why hadn't anyone said anything? I looked like a corpse. Maybe not completely but on a good way there.

_Maybe because you snap at anyone who even tries to take care of you? _

I frowned and left the car. The air was crispy and actually felt fresh in my throat and lunges. I walked slowly and carefully on the path which was covered in a thin layer of frost. I opened the door carefully and was immediately greeted with the sound of cheering and screaming. I smiled as I saw all the boys in the living room, having yet another battle on the Xbox. Hell if I knew what game they were playing.

I walked slowly and silently towards them and leaned against the archway. I am assuming Emmett's winning since he was the one mocking the others the most.

"Suck it losers! You're no match for me!" I had to pinch myself so I wouldn't laugh.

"You're like a five year old," I commented and the three of them jumped at my approach.

"I don't care, as long as I get to win," Emmett said with a laugh and continued to shoot. I sat down on the armrest next to Edward. He struggled to watch both the screen and me.

"How did the talk go?"

"Um… let's talk about it later," I responded quietly and he nodded.

"So what are you playing?" I said louder.

"Halo," Emmett said, as if this was completely obvious.

"Yeah, that means nothing to me."

The game stopped and Emmett groaned, looking at Jasper who was fishing his phone out of his pocket. He got up and made to leave.

"Take over for me," he said and shoved the control into my hands.

"I- uh… alright," I jumped over Edward's outstretched leg and sat down between him and Emmett.

"Dude. You are so whipped!" Emmett yelled after him before sitting back in the couch.

The next twenty minutes was weird. Despite the fact that I had never played Halo before, I was a fucking natural. I literally kicked both their asses. By the time we finished, Emmett was looking at the screen with his mouth agape and then slowly turned towards me.

"I thought you said you didn't know what Halo was."

"I don't." He then slammed down his control on the couch and stormed out. I couldn't for the love of me stop laughing. I lay down with my feet in Edward's lap.

"He really don't like losing to a girl, huh?" He grinned.

"He doesn't like losing, period. But I guess it's a bigger loss against a girl." I relaxed into the couch while Edward started to unconsciously rub my calf.

"Where're Alice and Rose?" I noted they weren't here.

"Shopping. You just missed them when you got here. They didn't think you get here so fast."

"Oh." He looked away from me and hesitated.

"What?"

"How did the talk go?"

"It was really weird," I said with a sigh. "I don't know what to think," I whispered and rubbed my face. "Why can't I be more fucked up and not trust anyone?"

"Are you, maybe, thinking of… trusting her?" I hated that word. Trust. It made everything so complicated.

"I don't know," I responded as I sat up. I started to nervously bite on my fingernails as I reviewed my options.

"I don't have to see her again. Charlie will still be somewhat nice to you and lay off on me ruining my life because every second I'm with you you're corrupting my mind." I rolled my eyes and Edward laugh.

"You're mind was already corrupted by the time I met you."

"I know but Charlie doesn't. Not that I'll ever tell him that but it's the thought that counts. Can't you just tell me what to do? I don't like choices." I pouted and Edward laughed. Like he thought I was joking.

"That's not how the world works."

"The world sucks. But I think that maybe I get it… a little."

"What do you mean?"

"She was nineteen when she got pregnant. I can't even imagine what I would have done. I'm not saying that what she did was okay. But maybe… I don't know… I kind of get it. I probably would have done the same."

"You would have walked out on your kid?" Edward asked me incredulously.

"No. I wouldn't have had it in the first place. But if I had been forced to have it, I probably would have put it up for adoption or-" I cut myself off.

"Let's just give it a few days. I'm not sure what I'll decide. I barely have one chance in me. She'll get like a quarter or someth-" Edward grabbed the back of my head and pressed his lips against mine. He let go of me for one second but our lips were still touching.

"You talk too much." He pulled me back and I grabbed at him. It had been way to long since we made out like this. I pushed him back and sat up, resting my legs outside of his. Edward responded eagerly and grabbed at my ass – which made me groan – and pressed me into him. At the first taste of his tongue, I moaned so loudly I thought the whole house had heard me.

The fact that we were in the living room was completely out the window as we grabbed at whatever we could reach. There was only one thing that could ruin this…

"Okay bitches! Prepare to be- Woa!" My head snapped up to find a shocked and amused Emmett standing in the archway. For exactly two seconds, no one moved an inch or said one word.

"Okay horndogs. Break it up and prepared to be crushed." I snorted but got off Edward's lap. I teased him by rubbing against the slightly noticeable bulge in his pants. I snickered at his nearly inaudible groan.

--------------

I do not like hospitals. Either it's really loud or silent as the grave. The food sucked, even if you paid for it – which you always do but level with me people! And they are way to clean. People don't die from dirt. In fact, it's been shown that a little dirt here and there is healthy for you.

I winced at the slight cracking sound. Edward sighed next to me and moved his foot around, cracking his toes.

"Shit that feels good," he remarks and I roll my eyes.

"Are we done soon?" I ask. I was getting anxious to leave. The sterile scent that sifted through the room was getting to me and making me uncomfortable. Edward chuckled at me but I couldn't find what was so funny.

"Relax will you? It's only a few more minutes." I grimaced.

"You said that ten minutes ago." He rolled his eyes but otherwise ignored me.

It had been eight weeks since the accident and Edward was finally getting his foot cast off. His injuries had healed as well as expected. He still had discomfort with his ribs but Carlisle said that was normal. Since you couldn't exactly cast the entire chest, a broken rib had to heal on its own and therefore it took some time before going right back to normal.

As we walked out of the hospital, I could see Edward smiling as he didn't have to walk around with the crutches any longer. It was corny as hell but as soon as he smiled, I couldn't help but join in.

"Happy?" I asked. He nodded and slung his arm around my shoulder and dragged me towards the car. Once we got closer he held out his hand.

"Come on Bella. I've practically been a vegetable for eight weeks."

"Don't be so dramatic. And you shouldn't be driving when-" he pushed me up against the car and leaned in close. As I tried to have some form of self-control left, he was really close and he smelled really, really good.

"Bella," he said slowly, going in close to my ear.

"Hmm?" Was all I could muster.

"Do you think I would ever drive if I knew it wasn't safe? Especially if you were with me?"

"Um… no?" It came out more as a question. I could feel him smile against my earlobe before gently taking it between his teeth as tugging at it a little. I couldn't help but moan quietly, while pushing the car keys into his hand.

He kissed me hard once, whispering; _thank you_, before walking to the other side and getting in the driver's seat.

The drive went slowly. It didn't matter. We weren't going anywhere special. It wasn't until I could smell the fresh smell saltwater, that I knew where Edward was driving.

We walked down the path slowly. To know you have absolutely nothing to do the entire day was a relaxing feeling.

We must have sat there on that rock for hours. But we never moved. The air was still and there were minimum waves. As the light began to dim, I couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"I'm seeing Renee tomorrow." Edward looked at me with incredulous eyes.

"What?"

"She called me and asked what I was doing and I couldn't think of anything to say so I agreed to meet. Baby steps."

"That's great."

"Really?" He nodded.

"You may never admit this out loud but I know it's been a struggle to grow up without a mother."

"I don't think that's a secret."

"No but would you ever admit it?" I grimaced.

"So you don't think I'm making a mistake? She could walk out again. I can't deny that that wouldn't hurt. I'm not made of ice. I don't know how much breakage I can take before you can't out me back together."

"I don't think she will leave. But speaking hypothetically… if she did leave, we would take care of you."

"I hate being taken care of."

"Well you'll be so down you won't even realize it." I had to laugh at that. It was getting colder and I started trembling.

"Come on," Edward said and dragged me to my feet. "I'm sure Alice will have some hot chocolate waiting as soon as we get inside the door."

As we drove back, I thought over what Edward said about being there for me. He always had been. Okay, maybe not _always_, but enough to know that he always would stay with me, to help me out of my own moody emotions. I know I must be hard to be with. My emotions were a rollercoaster, even when I wasn't PMSing.

Maybe I was jinxing this by even thinking it but I think I was going to be okay. In most ways.

* * *

**AN: Btw, I have never played Halo before and really don't have any idea what it is so I just described how and what I think it is. **

**So this was the last chapter. I haven't forgotten about the epilogue but I consider this the last chapter. It's been a long road and I'm mostly pleased with the result. **

**I may, later, go back and rewrite the story a little. Just checking the spellings again and maybe get a few more syllables into the lines. **

**The epilogue will be up within a week. **


	30. Epilogue

_Epilogue_

I was having a very good dream. Not sure what it was about but I knew it was a good one. And for once I wasn't plagued by the never-ending beeping sound of my alarm clock, signaling it was time to get up and be ready for another day of school, i.e. hell.

No I was in heaven. Or maybe paradise. It was hard to tell the difference. It didn't matter which, I never wanted to leave. I've lived in warm places before but this feels totally different. It could be for the fact that my father wasn't hovering over every single move I make.

My eyes slowly opened and I was greeted, yet again, by the luscious sound of waves crashing against nearby rocks. The sun was just rising and the warm breeze ruffled the white curtains by the open French doors.

I lay there for a moment, taking it all in. Greece truly was beautiful. It may be hot as hell but that's a small price to pay to live here. Live here. I was actually living in Greece. Who the fuck would have thought that?! Sure as fuck no me! For one, I never thought Charlie would ever allow me that. Especially since I decided not to go to college. It wasn't that hard of a decision.

Charlie took it better than I thought he would have. At least he didn't kill anyone. Renee had actually stood behind me. I wasn't expecting that, especially since she went to college, and a good one at that.

Edward took it a little less enthusiastically.

"How can you just decide not to go to college?!" I winced at his volume.

"Actually it was very easy. I'm not going to be one of those people who wonder what happened to her life. I know how many people say that they'll travel and such after college but it never happens."

"So what? You want to travel? Where? How long?"

"Maybe. I've always wanted to go to Italy, or maybe Spain. I don't know how long and the fact that I don't have to decide that is so deliberating." Edward sighed and ran a hand thru his hair. Then he shook his head.

"Are you really doing this?" I took a deep breath.

"Yes," I said determinedly.

"So what does this mean for us?"

"What do you want to do? After graduation, I mean."

"School, of course."

"Why's that so obvious?"

"Because… that's what you do."

"Says who?"

"I don't know! Society. Look Bella. I've been brought up knowing I was going to college, weather I wanted to or not."

"That's so… sad. But I wasn't asking what you were brought up to do. I wanted to know what you want to do. Just put the college stuff out of the picture for a moment. Then what do you want to do?" I waited patiently. I could see he didn't want to do this.

"I don't know."

"Neither do I. That's what so great. Do you really want to live by a schedule for the rest of your life?"

"When did you get all hippie like?" I laughed.

"I'm not a hippie," I said, laughing. "Ever since your accident. I've been thinking more about life and I don't want to wake up one morning and have loads of things on a list that I regret not doing. And even if this turns out to be a mistake, it will be my mistake, but at least I tried it."

He couldn't argue with me on that. Okay he could. But when I compared him to Charlie, he stopped talking all together and agreed that everything I said made sense.

Edward did make me promise that I wouldn't leave… yet. And I didn't. I actually got a job. True, it was the fanciest; working at Wallmart. But I managed to save up enough money for said trip I was on now. It felt so much better knowing I had actually worked for it myself and not have it handed to me on a silver platter.

Edward went to college; University of Washington. The only reason I decided not to go anywhere until next summer was because – even though I would never admit this out loud – I was so fucking dependant on that boy it was pathetic. I found it hard not to sleep if he wasn't at least in the same room.

I wasn't sure if I was every going back to school. At the moment it didn't really matter. Alice wouldn't shut up about it. Not because I _needed_ the education but because she had it all planned out how she, Rose and I were going to chare a dorm room. Apparently, I ruined all her hopes of a normal college experience. She's too dramatic.

So it was just her and Rose now. What a big shocker it was when Alice took courses in fashion and art. It was all very predictable. Rose got into the mechanics course she had been yapping about for weeks.

I was surprised when Jasper applied for psychology. But I guess I could see it now. Him being so calm and all. He'd sure to stop anyone from committing suicide.

Emmett went the same direction as his other half – his word not mine! But that's understandable. If she told him to jump off a cliff, he would. Whipped idiot.

And then we have Edward. He did something I never thought possible. Edward took two semesters of law. Who would know he had it in him? I suppose I should but I really didn't. He's never expressed an interest in the law before.

And the ill-fated parents of mine? They're in the picture. I was surprised when Renee stuck it out for two months. Maybe she is in it for the long run this time. Charlie is as "transfixed" by her as he was when she first stepped into our lives. He tried to hide it but an idiot could see it. I just hope he doesn't do anything stupid. But I guess I must have gotten my not-so-sane-mind from somewhere.

Back to the present… I stretched my muscles and smiled as an arm crept around my hip and held on to me hard. Edward pulled me back towards him and nuzzled his head into my neck, burying it in my hair. I wiggled against him and he groaned, making the vibrations go right through me.

"It's not nice to tease," Edward whispered into my ear. I smirked and rolled over, pushing him down on the bed and crawling on top of him. His hands went out to my hips, holding me there.

"It's only teasing if I don't plan to follow through." I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. The sheet fell from my body and Goosebumps appeared as the air hit my naked skin.

Edward's hands traced my sides and as they came up to cup my breasts I was so turned on it was getting painful. I could feel his was having the same problem. My hips started to grind against him and the friction felt so fucking good. I moaned into his mouth and Edward's lips traveled over my yaw and down my neck before settling on my collarbone.

I was panting and aching, wanting him to be closer and it got to be too much. I reached down to grab him in my hands. His hips bucked at me and he groaned against the base of my throat.

After pumping him a few slow times, I guided him towards my entrance and sank down on him. I gasped at the feeling and groaned as he was fully inside me. It always amazed me how deep he got me in this position.

Feeling impatient, Edward grabbed my hips and moved me as soon as he was inside. I placed my hands on his shoulders and started moving myself. There was nothing slow and somewhat sweet about this. This was purely animalistic and our grunts, groans, moans and pants all contributed to that.

"Fuck, Bella!" Edward panted and grabbed my ass to move me faster against him. My ability to say anything was gone. I could barely muster up a groan, let alone words. The sound of skin slapping together filled the room and if we hadn't been staying in a small house away from the rest of civilization, someone surely would have heard us.

I felt myself nearing the edge, just needing one more little push. It was like he heard my mind for Edward leaned forward and captured my nibble in his mouth and I came. Hard. We both cried out and I collapsed against him.

"Woa." Brilliant Bella! Edward chuckled.

"That's an understatement." I stayed on top of him for a few more moments before sliding facedown to rest on the bed.

This was turning out to be the best vacation ever!

* * *

**AN: This is somewhat how I wanted all my characters to end up. In probably every single Twilight fanfic I have read, all of them get married and have many babies and live 'happily ever after'. That kind of makes me a little sick now. I personally don't' believe in marriage so I think it's hypocritical to haveall of them marry. ****And I don't really like kids either. They're just loud and make huge messes all the time. I'm way too childish to have a kid or to think of it. **

**I know some are disappointed. Can't have a story ****without it but I hope it was enough to quench some of the questions. **

**I am writing on a new story. Crime story. I was deeply influenced when I saw this move 'Message Deleted' the other day and I've always loved Criminal Minds. I'm going to read through it a few more times and hopefully, I'll get around to post it today. **


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